


a history of you and me

by sirensangel



Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers: Prime
Genre: F/M, Family Bonding, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Female Bonding, Female Character of Color, Female Friendship, Love and Hate relationship, Slow Burn, Team Bonding, a lot of historical references, and fashion !, autobots backstories, but has a lot of emotional baggage, conflicted with their feelings, interfacing ( eventually ), jack and miko friendship, june darby appreciation, more team prime dynamics, mostly headcannons, optimus is so pure, person of color original characters, talk of mythology, ultra magnus is emotionally constipated
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-23
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:48:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 92,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24333877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sirensangel/pseuds/sirensangel
Summary: “ I didn’t know they were cybertronian,” She admitted, “ I only knew there was a pattern scattered across civilizations throughout history, repetitive, similar, even if these societies have never met one another. I isolated the theory as an extraterrestrial lifeform, one that connects our stories. I never expected it to be this-“She paused, carefully mulling over the words.“ This profound.”Where we explore more of Earth and Cybertron’s history together through team prime, specifically through the eyes of one tightly wounded commander and his less than thrilled human charge.( season 2 AU, slow burn )
Relationships: Arcee & Miko Nakadai, Jack Darby & Rafael "Raf" Esquivel & Miko Nakadai, June Darby/Ratchet, Ultra Magnus/Original Character(s), Ultra Magnus/Original Female Character(s), Ultra Magnus/You
Comments: 171
Kudos: 147





	1. first encounters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello ! This chapter may seem a bit short but the next one is where we really get into action, hope you enjoy this piece I made because Ultra Magnus needs more love™ !

_“ Je songe à notre Terre, atome d'un moment,_

_Dans l'infini criblé d'étoiles éternelles,_

_Au peu qu'ont déchiffré nos débiles prunelles,_

_Au Tout qui nous est clos inexorablement.”_

" I sing to our earth, atom of a moment,

In the infinite screen of eternal stars,

To the few that have deciphered our feeble eyes,

To all that is inexorably closed to us."

\- Jules Laforgue, _Triste, Triste_

* * *

  
Two possibilities exist; either we are alone in this universe or we are not. Both are equally terrifying. Amanda barely entertains the question these days, times change – the debate inducing question she used to love discussing with her peers back at high school seemed empty nowadays. She doesn’t know the answer and there was no way of telling.

Apparently, the universe has a twisted way of satisfying her curiosity when it no longer matters anymore, by forcing her into the office of a former army ranger. Amanda expected the office to be spacious, filled with several couches and decorated walls - yet it was barren of any décor and felt too claustrophobic for Amanda. They were in the middle of the room, under an idly spinning fan. The window was barely open, giving her the sensation of being cooked alive under the Nevada heat.

“ Agent Fowler,” She started. “ Why am I here?”

She was struggling to keep her other questions at bay, but she knew he’d appreciate them one at a time. It’s not because Amanda has time, God no, she was supposed to be back in New York. Whatever is waiting for her back home is as good as gone – she doubts she could make it back there in under an hour. It wasn’t because she was patient either, she wanted nothing more than to get this over with. It was because a tiny part of her _needed_ to know.

Agent Fowler and his team had contacted her months ago. The first call caused her to burn her eggs in the pan as she argued against his ominous invitation to meet him in Town Square, she ignored it, it was Monday and she had things to do. The second call was more demanding, ringing thrice when she was busy unclogging the sink, her hands were dirty – so she stared at it until it stopped ringing. The third call didn’t patch through a phone, it was two men showing up by her door who wouldn’t take no as an answer – so Amanda reluctantly allowed them to escort her to a plane ( in which she had argued but failed miserably.)

She couldn’t phantom what the government would ever want with her, sure she’d broken a few laws – like jaywalking and speeding past a red light. She has been commuting without a metro card lately, but that hardly justifies the need of bringing her all the way to a secret facility. Amanda was albeit scared, she could even say panicked, the only thing that reassured her was the fact that she’s still alive and being offered a _very_ interesting proposal.

Now that she’s in the middle of nowhere, she might as well squeeze every opportunity she has sitting across his desk, a small and stubborn part of her had overpowered the more rational part of her mind. She was angry, confused, but very, very, curious.

“ Ms. Laurent. When you took history as your minor at the University of Amsterdam, you wrote a very important thesis, which is of interest to us.”

Amanda tilted her head, “ My thesis? How did you even get your hands on that ?”

“ I have my ways.”

“ It hardly even matters, I wrote it years ago. You said it yourself, history was my minor – I hardly specialize in it. I now –“

“ You’re into cinema. You’ve been starring in several minor roles while playing gigs on the side in cafes and hotels. Writing screenplays during your free time and sharing them with your agent over the weekends.” He left no room for her to interrupt, continuing, “ Amanda Laurent-Jacques. You’ll be turning twenty-five this year, and only child to parents Madeline Jacques-Laurent and Joseph Jacques-Laurent. Born and raised in France, Bordeaux. You moved to the States in the early 2000s. I know everything there is to know about you, Ms. Laurent.” The edge of his tone didn’t escape her.

She clenched her teeth. “ Then please get to the point, why am I here, what can I offer you? I understand you can’t tell me anything outside of this room, so I flew all the way here didn’t I ?”

He narrowed his eyes. “ Tell me, when you were eighteen, what made you decide to write a thesis on extraterrestrial lifeforms? In your paper entitled ‘ History Intertwined: Unraveling the Secrets of our Shared Antiquity’ you shared your theory on how we seem to share our history with aliens. Tell me about that.”

Amanda shrugged, letting out a bewildered laugh, “ Agent Fowler, that theory – I took history just for the sake of having another minor to accompany my music, I took film studies as my major.”

He gave her a ‘ I know that' look , to which she ignored. “ At first I paid no interest in the subject, but it only appealed to me when I noticed that several civilizations who had never met before across periods shared the same patterns in culture, lifestyle, art. There were symbols, scriptures, sightings – how can Mesopotamia and Incans share similarities when they barely had contact with one another?”

The fan above them began to creak and Amanda swept her hair to the side, feeling the sweat prickle her nape. “ I knew a universal language existed between humans, we all had our own music, art – different yet similar means of expressing ourselves and surviving. Yet, what if –“

She shook her head, this is ridiculous she thought, yet Fowler didn’t seem to think so. He leaned across the table. “ What if something bigger than humanity is what connects us? A lifeform mistaken for divinity, the Greeks and Egyptians worshipped gods, yet who played these figures? Who inspired them to fabricate stories about titans, deities, superhumans? Something acts as a line between fantasy and reality, how much of it is real? For all, we know they could be something ancient, something…”

“ Alien.” Fowler leaned back on his seat. He seemed to be satisfied by her explanation, folding his arms as he continued to scrutinize her. She met his gaze, glaring.

“ It doesn’t matter, I’m not interested in it anymore. That paper might have given me an A, but I have new dreams to chase, dreams that make sense - that can put food on the table.” She stood up, whether he’s going to stop her from leaving, she doesn’t think it matters – as long as she goes through those doors, leaving her curiosity behind with him once and for all.

“You don’t sound like someone who’s no longer interested,” Fowler countered, “What if I told you, you’re right?”

Amanda sat back down, feeling her legs going limp,” What?”

Fowler leaned forward, “What if I told you, that you should’ve gotten more than a good grade out of that thesis? That we have a room full of scientists and historians who believes in the same thing, grilling themselves to crack the code. You know you’re right, but how much -that’s for you to find out. This is your chance, are you going to pass it ?”

Her mouth felt dry and suddenly the creaking of the fan became more incessant, poking at her along with the summer heat. “ Even if I'm right" She laughed again at the absurdity of it, " And extraterrestrial life does exist, what does it have to do with me ? You already have a room full of scientists, historians – professional people on the case, what can I offer you that they can’t?”

Fowler rubbed a hand on his chin, sighing heavily, “ Our operations team was attacked, there were no casualties, but the assault burnt their efforts to the ground, there’s almost nothing left to salvage. Their identities were uncovered by our enemies through their official records. This tells us that we need someone on our team who won’t be targeted, someone they don’t suspect to have any valuable use to us.”

“ You need someone who can’t be tracked by their profession, not only a civilian but someone who’s not important enough to target.” She looked out the window. The moon hung low across the sky, accompanied by the lulling of stray crickets.

“Exactly.”

" What exactly are your team aiming to discover?"

" As I've said, history. We need your expertise, or whatever is left of it, to prove that theory." She knew he was leaving more information in the dark, clever and annoying. “ The attackers, who are they?”

“If you want to know more, you’ll have to see for yourself. What you’ll be getting yourself into is dangerous, as you can see, we’ll have to relocate you here. You’ll have our protection, but you’ll be sworn to secrecy. I’m not forcing you, but if you believe you’re up to the task, there’ll be a good pay – one that can do more than just put food on the table. Join my team, for people, for country – help us and for old time’s sake, you owe your eighteen-year-old self an answer.”

Amanda didn’t reply, her mind was racing. There was a mixture of excited screaming in her head chanting ‘ I told you so !’ and a fearful whispering of ‘ don’t trust the government, it’s a trap, a trap.’ " You're basing your research on someone who wrote her thesis as a hobby."

" Desperate times," Fowler admitted. “ Besides,” He added, “ Your mother, didn’t she –“

“ Don’t bring her into this,” Amanda flinched, and seeing that he struck a nerve, Fowler raised both his hands in the air apologetically.

Amanda stared at his outstretched hand, “ Do you agree to work with my team, Ms.Laurent?”

This all sounded vague, she needed to know more – but he was sworn under secrecy, he could only reveal so much to her, and he’s already stretching the barrier for her. She felt cornered and Amanda hated it, but she had never felt more alive. Her heart was trying to break out of her chest. She could refuse and never look back, knowing that it’d be too risky for her wellbeing. She’ll go back to jumping from one bar to another, performing for gigs that barely hold half the worth of the paycheck he’s showing her. There’re still other auditions waiting for her, she could catch the one on Friday and maybe not get turned down – or maybe the auditions can wait, they’re not going anywhere.

“ You can’t promise me my old life if I agree with this.” She stated, “ I don’t know if I can risk that. I’ll have to be relocated, I’ll have to disappear. Is what I’m sacrificing worth it?”

Fowler straightened at her honesty, she couldn’t tell if he appreciated it or hated it. His face was nearly passive, watching her.

“ The fate of this planet might very well depend on it.”

“ That’s a lot of responsibility to put on one team.” She raised her brow. He glanced out the window. “Trust me, they’re the best of the best.”

Her father had always told her that courage and curiosity were good traits, yet together, they make an awful combination. Amanda knew she needed this, she wanted this – she wanted to walk away too, but this one seemed harder to pass up. Her dignity was also on the line, who else gets these kinds of offers?

“ I don’t have any training, I’m a civilian.” Amanda reasoned.

“ You’ll be briefed on the basics, we’re not hiring you based on your ability to protect yourselves. Our people will do that for you, we need you for the information you know. You might be a little rusty, but that’s better than nothing. As you can see Ms.Laurent, we’re all out of options.” Fowler’s desperation was hidden behind a mask of professionalism, one she knew all too well. She debated her options, tapping her finger idly.

“ Okay.”

“Okay?” Fowler frowned.

“I’ll do it, I’ll join your team – but I’m rusty. I haven’t done much research for ages and I’m no professional.” She listed, “I’ll need equipment too, resources, time, space to work in.”

“Ms.Laurent, if we had anyone else to turn to we would. But the stakes are too high, we can’t risk having someone else.” Fowler stood up, “ And don’t worry about those, we got you covered.”

She stood up as well, taking his hand and receiving a firm shake. She glanced around the room, watching the cup of coffee they prepare for her turn cold and murky. Beside it the digital clock beeped, signaling that its an hour past midnight. She tucked her skirt down, fixing the creases. “ So, Aliens huh?”

“ You don’t sound surprised,” He scoffed.

“ I have my suspicions, but this-" she gestured to the room around her, " Still feels like a fevered dream."

Fowler crossed his arms, “ Wait until you see it.” Fishing out his cellphone, Fowler dialed a number, “ All clear prime.”

The building began to shook ever so lightly, but enough to alert her. Amanda’s eyes widened, she eyed the table, ready to duck under it – yet Fowler made no move, and his reaction grounded her in place. “What’s going on?” As if on cue, a flash of blue and red appeared by the window and it takes everything in her willpower for Amanda to lower herself onto the chair, albeit more of flopping herself pathetically as she gaped at the titan before her.

She promised her eighteen-year-old self she would act cool when she actually met aliens, Amanda promised she won’t scream, or panic or run away – unfortunately, her present self isn’t so good at keeping promises ( specifically when she’s sleep-deprived ), because she did all three.

“ Fowler what the _fuck_ !” She scampered off the chair, falling on her back and kicking herself away from the giant leaning against the window. Her eyes darted wildly around the figure, hearing the metal creak and clink with one another. She pulled the skirt back down - Amanda hoped the need to run won't be necessary, as Fowler's men barely gave her a chance to collect herself, much more to allow her to change into pants. Besides, how could she have known to change into clothes that fit the current occasion? Running from giant space robots isn't supposed to be on the list for today.

Fowler reached out to her, “ It’s alright! He’s our guy.” He turned to the giant, good _Lord_ Amanda couldn’t believe she’s going to say this – the giant robot and _spoke_ to him. She could hear her heart pounding, yelling at her ribcages ‘ _what the ever-loving fuck is going on_ ?’ The robot nodded to Fowler, and he opened his mouth to speak.

He was speaking English, she should have understood him, but the words didn’t seem to pierce the deafening pound of her heart. “ My apologies Ms.Laurent, it was never my intention to startle you.” Amanda didn’t reply because why didn’t it sound mechanical? Its –his voice sounded smooth, she would even go as far as to say baritone and guiltily, kinda hot. She steered her thoughts back into place and he continued to stare at her.

Only when she wanted to reply did another one appeared, pressing against the one before her. They were trying to fit their faces against one tiny window, it would have been comical if she wasn’t directly witnessing it for the first time. The other one gave her a look of confusion – at least judging from the way his facial expressions shifted. “Did we injure the native lifeform?”

Amanda closed her mouth, not realizing it was agape. “N-No, I heard you. I’m just, _fuck_ – sorry.”

Shoving aside her embarrassment she pulled herself up. She stepped closer, her eyes taking in everything greedily, “ Aliens are giant robots?”

The other one flinched at the label, distastefully looking at her,“ We are not robots. We are Autobots.”

“ From the planet Cybertron. I am Optimus Prime and this is Ultra Magnus.”

She wanted to apologize for being rude, but her mouth didn’t seem to function. She continued to watch in awe, cracking a gentle smile. She thought of the girl who would fondly look at the stars every night, raising her hand as if to catch one of them. Amanda thought of the countless nights she had chased a shooting star, hoping to find a stranded alien. She watched her work tirelessly on her thesis, putting her all on a paper that made up not even half of her grade – who knew her thesis, her love letter would eventually bring her to these magnificent yet terrifying titans.

“ The native seems unresponsive,” He – _Ultra Magnus_ informed, turning to Optimus Prime. Amanda shook her head gently, taking another bold stride. “No, it’s just that I’ve been waiting to meet you. I guess after all these years, I never really stopped waiting.”

She mused aloud and the two Autobots regarded her in silence. She was struggling to hold back her tears, she felt overwhelmed, suffocated by awe, nostalgia, shock, and perhaps even a tinge of fear – Optimus Prime, she noted seemed fonder of the predicament compared to his companion.

“Then it will be an honor to work with you, Ms.Laurent.”

She spared Ultra Magnus another glance, nodding in his direction. His face remained impassive as she let her gaze trail down his towering form. She realized that this, he was her first interaction with an extraterrestrial life form. This was a milestone; however, the feeling didn’t seem mutual. With that he stepped back, his footsteps leaving faint tremors against the ground -leaving her with a thrumming sense of excitement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys like the first chapter, I appreciate reviews and would love to improve !


	2. La Belle et la Bête, Part I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, so future chapters will be longer, just a heads up. I forgot to give a shoutout to @SolainRhyo's amazing Ultra Magnus fanfiction, it inspired me to write this cause I too have a soft spot for Ultra Magnus and would love to see more stories of him.
> 
> Also, as I've mentioned Amanda is a POC ( person of color ) although she's french, I'll elaborate on her background as the story progresses, cause it matters so much for me as a POC writer myself.
> 
> Moreover, I would love to see more representation of women who are confident with their femininity being portrayed in fanfiction, being girly ( liking bright colors, dresses, fashion, etc.) doesn't decrease a character's worth and value, lately I've seen backlash on authors with these kinds of characters :( .Hopefully are willing to walk through this with me, as as I would love to see a larger spectrum of background/personalities for women in writing.
> 
> Anyways, let's not stall, please enjoy this chapter !

Amanda stepped out of the plane, immediately shielding her eyes from the aggressive rays of sunlight, despite coming prepared with sunglasses. She was glad to have opted for the sundress - the straps gave her skin the space it needs to breathe, ending right above her knees in a gentle flutter against the scarce desert breeze.The military base was mostly empty, with men scattered across doing their daily drills. She lifted her suitcase down the stairs, kindly refusing the help of the chatty sergeant who had kept her company throughout the flight – even if all she wanted was to catch up on some sleep from the jet lag. Amanda caught sight of the two vehicles parked across her and a knowing smile crept across her lips at the sight.

Her first interaction with an Autobot had been brief, first contact with Optimus Prime and Ultra Magnus lasted less than an hour – mostly filled with curt introductions. The awe had never really worn out. Amanda lowered her suitcase, greeting Fowler with a not so pleased nod. “ Agent Fowler, you couldn’t have given me more time?”

“ Even if I could, I wouldn’t.” She scowled. “ We’re not here to hang about Ms.Laurent. We have work to do.” Amanda slumped her shoulders.

“ I take it that you’ve sorted out your personal arrangements ?” He asked. She winced, thinking on how her agent didn’t take it very well, without knowing how long she would be gone for, her agent had left with a rather dramatic outburst – considering they were close to securing an audition for a leading role. Three days was all the time Fowler gave her, she didn't think it would be unreasonable to ask for more time, yet the ranger was adamant that she arrives on time to start as soon as possible. With that, she begrudgingly sold her apartment to an old University friend for a relatively cheap price, left her sweet tabby cat with her neighbor ( who was used to cat sitting by now ), and packed lightly for her temporary home in Jasper, Nevada.

Soldiers were helping one another unpack her boxes out of the plane, flashes of her potted plants and picture frames peeking out of the brim. They brought it closer to Ultra Magnus, setting it beside his cargo. Amanda didn't know what to feel about loading her things into the inside of an alien, embarrassment crawled onto her cheeks. But whatever complaints she had was quickly dismissed by Fowler.

“ Oh and as far as the Jacques family are concerned, you’re shooting a film on a remote location. To further avoid publicity, the whereabouts of this location is not for share. When you come back empty-handed, you can always say that the movie’s scrapped due to controversies – you’re smart, you’ll figure out a way.” Amanda wasn’t completely on board with lying to her family, but it would be easier to keep them in the dark than endanger them. Her aunts in Bordeaux all lived in the countryside, far away from the city, making it difficult for them to patch any international calls. Amanda liked to think that was a good sign.

“ You promise to have your men watch over them?”

He crossed his arms. “ It was difficult to send them overseas, but they’re there and they’ll keep an eye on your folks.”

The vehicles behind her began to transform, causing Amanda to step back in reflex. This was the first time she'd seen them transform, her eyes didn't escape them for one moment. The ground slightly trembled under the weight of the two Autobots. Immediately she was greeted with Ultra Magnus’s stoic glare and next to him-

“ What are you wearing over your optics?” The other Autobot pointed a finger on her face eagerly and Amanda trailed her hand over the black frames, “ These? They’re my sunglasses.” She pulled them off, offering them to the curious creature. He seemed surprised but nonetheless took the accessory in his hands. Against his open palm, the object was barely visible, reminding herself once again of how big they were.

“ I wear them to protect my eyes from the sun.” He was observing it intently and Amanda couldn’t help but chuckle fondly at his interest.

“ I never knew humans had such sensitive optics.” He was buzzing with energy and Amanda should’ve seen it coming when he snapped it into two. He froze, watching the remaining pieces clatter onto the ground.

“ I am SO sorry,” He winced, pouting at her. Amanda settled for a weak smile, too tired, and amused to be angry. They did cost her a good ten dollars, not to mention that they were her favorite pair, but she knew better than to hold it against him. She dug into her purse, pulling out another cat-eye – the rims cherry red.

“ See,” She put them on, “ No problem.”

“ Smokescreen control yourself.” Ultra Magnus scolded and the younger Autobot tensed. “ Sorry Ultra, eh, sir! I was just curious.”

“ We are wasting time, there is no time for further chatter.” He gave Amanda a side-eye. “ I suggest we head back to base, Optimus is expecting us.”

“ Alright, where exactly is base, Ultra Magnus ?”

He narrowed his eyes and even Smokescreen bristled, turning to her with raised brows. She looked around and Fowler cleared his throat, looking away. Ultra Magnus stepped closer to her and she took a hesitant step back, ‘ _Is he trying to crush me_ ?’ He knelt down and even then, he still needed to look down, casting a shadow over her.

“ That would be 'sir' to you.” He barked, “ You’ll see soon enough the location of our base.”

Amanda’s weak smile faltered and she pouted. She opened her mouth to retort but Smokescreen cut her off, “ Let’s go for a ride, Ms.” She decided to let it slip, considering that he already had his back turned to her, walking over to Smokescreen’s open trunk after he transformed.

" Are you alright with me putting my things there? Will, it hurt you?" She eyed the car skeptically, would she be doing anything taboo? Is there a set of etiquette she needed to follow to avoid intergalactic cultural misconceptions? She was putting her bag in his body - she winced, that sounded so weird.

" Don't worry," He drawled out, a hint of cheekiness in his voice, " Now hurry before he scolds us both."

Although Smokescreen had lowered his voice, she was sure the older Autobot had caught it, so she settled for a good laugh, smiling appreciatively at the sports car. Once the luggage was in, she caught view of her things being packed into Ultra Magnus's cargo.

She briefly wondered if he was okay with it, but decided he didn't have much to say on it after what he did. With a smug smile she ducked down.

“ You’re a charmer,” She entered, sliding into the passenger’s seat. “ And call me Amanda, Smokescreen.”

“ Yes ma'am,” He teased and Amanda let thoughts of the grumpy Autobot commander slip away behind her as the engine revved.

* * *

Fowler had sent her a file beforehand, it was personally hand-delivered to her. The papers had been secured inside a tightly sealed envelope, that took her nearly an hour to open. The content wasn’t worth the struggle, considering that most of the information was redacted. A rational part of her reasoned that it was simply basic protocol to prevent any leakage of confidentiality – yet a more stubborn and nosy part of her demanded answers. That was how she had ended up standing on a chair in the middle of her kitchen, raising the paper to the light. Much to her delight, she was able to read the words once the paper turned transparent.

Despite this, she made no move to interrupt her chatty driver. He seemed to be speaking through the radio and Amanda casually kept a steady hand on the self-driving wheel. It wasn’t because she didn’t trust Smokescreen ( maybe a little by how fast he’s going at times ), but mostly because people may catch her and report a reckless driver to the police.

“ Hey are you alright?” She turned away from the window, turning to the radio. They were now out of the populated area, closer to the outskirts as miles of sand stretched before them. The only green was the occasional cactus, even that begins to thin out into a sea of ochre. “ I’m alright, I was just listening to your story.”

“ Oh,” He chuckled, “ Well thanks for not interrupting me, I hope I didn’t talk too fast. Did you catch all of that?”

The Autobot talks a mile per minute, nearly losing her in the enthusiasm of his storytelling. She could have been easily swept away by his words if it wasn’t for the fact that she came prepared. Amanda was used to meeting a spectrum of people, chatty directors weren’t uncommon, she had learned to do more than tolerate them to get anywhere with her career. Smokescreen however, she found if not slightly irritating, endearing. She could tell he was young and ambitious, hence she excused how he started his story in the middle – talking about places and people that would’ve flown over her head if it wasn’t for her research. Although, there were some holes she needed to patch in his tale, leaving room for casual conversation.

“ The great war took a toll on all of us. It lasted forty-seven vorns! It destroyed our planet and brought it near extinction. The Great War single-handedly took down Cybertron’s Golden Age, of course by the time the war started I knew I couldn’t just stand in the sidelines, so I became a soldier and underwent training with the Elite Guard, although it was more of a boot camp at the time. I was ready to kick some Decepticon afts! But I ended up on security duty at the Iacon Hall of Records, I was assigned to guard the old man – which is Alpha Trion by the way.”

“ Smokescreen,” Amanda interrupted, “ Let’s slow down okay? I have questions.”

“ Oh of course! My bad.”

“ It’s alright,” Amanda chuckled, “ How long is one _vorn_ , Smokescreen? Is that your equivalent of a year, or is it a different unit of measurement ?”

“ If I’m not wrong, one vorn is eighty-three Earth years.” He hummed and Amanda did a quick calculation, fishing out her phone to use its calculator, “ So more or less, your war lasted four billion years ?”

" Well, the war's still going." He added.

She didn’t hide her shock, feeling sick to her stomach. A war that lasted for what to her, was an eternity. She read that Cybertronians aged differently, that their lifespans range to about eons. Smokescreen may be young for Cybertronian standards, but he was ancient compared to her. The thought unsettled her.

“ The Iacon Hall of records, tell me about that.”

“ Iacon was the Autobot capital back in Cybertron, by then we were already divided into factions. Speaking of Iacon, did you know Optimus used to be a clerk in the Iacon Hall of Records ?? Megatron was a gladiator that fought in the pits of Kaon. The two of them decided to ban together when Optimus to fight the inequality on Cybertron.” Smokescreen barely paused, abruptly remembering to stop for a red light, “ Megatron used his popularity to promote change in our society – it’s hard to believe that he used to be on the same side as Optimus. One day Megatron demanded that the Autobot High Council make him the next Prime but he was refused, which wasn’t a surprise. But then Optimus gave his super cool speech, in return the Council was impressed and made him a prime. Megatron didn’t take it so well and cut all ties with Optimus – talk about petty, to create an army - the Decepticons. Optimus rallied Cybertron's military forces into the Autobots, which started the Great War.”

A civil war that toppled a glorious empire, an advanced civilization, ruled by colossi, down on its knees. Megatron, she was familiar with the name, but to actually hear this profound story from Smokescreen put her into deep contemplation. He continued on, taking her silence as an absence of questions. Not knowing it was because she had too many, yet she opted on listening to the boy - _mech_ , ramble on. After an hour's drive, they appeared before a plateau.

Amanda noticed Smokescreen wasn’t slowing down. He sped up his engines, racing them towards the rocky side of the mountain. She covered her eyes, yelling out his name. Amanda trembled, only prying her fingers off when she heard him laugh. “ Oh you should’ve seen the look on your face, don’t worry Amanda, Ratchet got it covered. You don’t think I was going to crash into a wall, didn’t you?”

She pushed her glasses up. Slapping the dashboard, “You little _twerp_ , don’t ever do that again!”

He continued his laughter and she exhaled against the seat. He opened the doors for Amanda, and she stepped out as he transformed. He did a few stretches, as it must get tiring folding himself up like that. She turned her attention to the other in the room.

More Autobots stood before her, amongst them one she recognized.

“ Ms.Laurent,” Optimus approached her. She went for the stairs, desperate to have some kind of equal footing with the titan. Upon reaching the steps she was greeted by three children. More questions appeared in her mind, why ever would they have children here, isn’t this operation dangerous? Nonetheless, she spared them a welcoming smile, “ Hello there. Hello Optimus.”

“ Hello. Autobots, Ms.Laurent will be helping us in finding the relics.”

“ But she’s human, remind me again how she could help us find Cybertronian technology?” The girl huffed and Amanda did her best to brush off her spunky attitude, even if she caught her mumbling. “ I thought this was a secret club, now we’re just inviting people.”

“ Miko,” One boy scolded. He approached Amanda with a shy smile, extending a hand. “ My name is Jack, that’s Miko and this is Raf.” Raf gave her a small wave behind his computer screen, quickly shutting it close before making a beeline for her.

“ Are you a scientist?” He asked, trying to mask his excitement. Amanda’s heart faltered, “ No, I’m sorry.”

“ Historian?” Jack offered. She shrugged weakly, “Something of the sort. I’m here to help, and I’ll do my best.” She peeked over their shoulders to look at Miko, who was still sulking with her arms crossed. Jack shot Amanda an apologetic wince, “ Sorry.”

“ Don’t be.” Amanda turned to the other four in the room. This way, they were nearly eye-level and Amanda held a palm against her chest, trying to steady her heartbeat. “ My name’s Amanda, it’s nice to meet all of you.”

The three Autobots shared a look, one that Amanda didn’t miss. The smallest one acknowledged her with a curt nod. She approached Jack, muttering something out of earshot. She knew it was nothing personal, it’s hard to get cozy with someone you’ve just met. The other two Autobots greeted her with a smile, the yellow one beeping excitedly. Amanda couldn’t help but feel awkward standing there, thankfully Jack seemed to notice and began to further break the ice.

“ That was Arcee, Bulkhead, and Bumblebee. They’re our guardians.” Jack explained, “ The story of how we met is kind of complicated.”

“ Indulge me.”

“ We met by accident actually. At that time, she was being chased by Decepticons, but I didn’t know that – in the end we kinda get tangled up with one another and the rest is history. A story for another time maybe.” Amanda nodded, respecting that.

“ Where are you from?”

She took the drink he offered graciously, opening the can of cola, “ New York, just got here this morning.”

“ So, how much do you know about what we’re doing here?” Expectantly, Optimus approached them.

“ I’ve been looking into my old papers recently.” Amanda put down the can on the table, opening her satchel to pull out her files. “ I remembered studying about several points in history, using the Paleolithic era. By fourteen thousand B.C, these symbols have begun to appear around the empire. They are found in the geometrical patterns of Mesopotamian clothing, art, and architecture.” She showed them a printed picture. “ Since then, they have continued to appear in various points of time and civilizations. They were carved in the helmets of Roman soldiers, within the ships of Greek fishermen, against the Incan walls. They were everywhere, hidden in plain sight.”

The last Autobot, the one who’s been blatantly ignoring her, let out a silent gasp. “ By the Allspark, these are Cybertronian symbols.”

“ But isn’t that common by this point?” Jack added, “ We’ve seen them when we went looking for the Iacon relics.”

“ These are not just any symbols, some of these are derived from traditional cybertronian scripture, before the golden age of Cybertron. Before the great war.”

“ Ratchet that’s impossible,” Arcee frowned, “ Four billion years ago Earth was just a cluster of rocks and gas, it hasn’t existed yet.”

“ Yes, yes, but we must keep in mind, time flows differently in space.” He huffed, “ The only reason we have been able to travel back and forth to Cybertron without any change in our current sense of reality towards time and space is because of functional Ground Bridge. It acts as an anchor that keeps us in the same timeline, time is constant when we travel through it.”

“ So you’re saying that when someone travels through space without a Space Bridge, their perception of time becomes distorted, and hence time becomes inconsistent ?” Raf piqued.

“ Ugh, brain freeze, you guys lost me,” Miko whined, holding her head in both her hands. Ratchet, however, made no move to stop. “ Precisely Raf. Before the war, although Ground Bridges were essential in helping us expand our colonies, it was not accessible to everyone. Emergency escape pods used in military training, however, could be used to keep anyone in stasis long enough to allow space travel.”

“ But that’s too risky,” Jack huffed, “ Who would travel through space inside an escape pod? You’re in stasis the whole time, you won’t know where you’ll land. You could collide to an asteroid and-“

“ Kaboom!” Miko finished with an exaggeration of her hands. Ratchet winced.

“ Predetermined coordinates could be set. Stasis pods aboard interstellar ships are programmed to have long-range sensors and coordinates.” Smokescreen added, “ We learned about it at the academy.”

“ The Wreckers used the same tactic, during the war we would always have predetermined coordinates, ranging from nearby planets to those lightyears away – such as Earth. To make sure that we won’t be caught by 'Cons, it was better to disappear than to give them any scrap of useful information.” Bulkhead mused.

“ Why Earth ?” Arcee questioned, “ It seems to be a popular choice of destination, even before the war.”

“ Unicorn became the planet Earth itself, which in turn makes him the creator of humankind.” Optimus explained, “ In his time of absence, Unicron became the source of myth, legend, and fear across all of Cybertron – and yet, he was Primus’s very counterpart. Proving once again that Cybertronians and Humans have been connected from the very beginning.”

Silence filled the room as everyone tries to comprehend this revelation. Amanda had been informed of the truth behind the recent cataclysmic events that took place a few months ago, who knew it could be because a dormant lord of the undead was taking a beauty nap downstairs.

“ We believe more relics are hidden across your planet, along with hidden knowledge of our homeworld, that was presumed lost to the stars.” He continued. “That is why we require your aid, Ms.Laurent, this information may be our only hope of tipping the war back into our favor. For now we are on equal footing with the enemy, but for how long, we do not know.”

Amanda nodded, feeling goosebumps prickle her skin. Only then did she caught sight of Ultra Magnus, by his feet lay the cargo containing her belongings. His silence might have gone unnoticed, but his authority didn’t. She noticed he was larger than the rest, his stature leveling above Bulkhead.

“ These pictures,” Raf pipped up, clicking away, “ Where did you get them? I can’t find any of them online.”

“ That’s because I took some of them myself,” Amanda confessed. “ During my summer break, I took an internship under the wing of my former professor. Sir Edmund Burton. He traveled a lot during that time, as he was still actively working as an archaeologist. We went to several excavation sites, most of them of his choosing. At times, I get the opportunity to choose myself.”

“ That gives us the upper hand against the ‘Cons,” Arcee agreed.

“ How did you know where to go?” Jack asked.

“ Books. At that time, the internet was still young – most professional institutes were hesitant to post any of their content online. I did it the old fashion way, I went to libraries, carefully scouring the pages for any leads.”

“ But that’s got to be a thousand pages,” Miko whistled and Amanda found it comical at how stressed the young girl sounded. “ I was - I was really dedicated back in my university days. The Rijksmuseum Research Library, The Louvre Museum – they were more than enough resources for me. Sir Burton had a collection of his own as well, they were most helpful.”

“ And where is your professor now?” ratchet asked.

Amanda looked away, “ He passed last summer. It was all over the papers, at least, in Europe. He was somewhat royalty, hence the sir, and had many secrets – one that I have yet to learn all of. He was a kind man, more than anything, and we knew he had been sick for quite some time. But it wasn’t the sickness that killed him.”

“ What did?” Smokescreen asked. Amanda sighed deeply, “ A fire did. His whole mansion, his study, his life’s work, his legacy – burnt to dust. There’s nothing left to scour, not even his body made it out in one piece. Whatever they managed to successfully salvage was shipped off to different museums, as according to his will.”

A somber atmosphere fell upon them. “ I am sorry for your loss,” Optimus offered. “ After that I decided to quit all of this,” Amanda pulled out more papers, “ Give my own dream, my initial dream a try.”

“ If the fire destroyed everything, then whatever information he had on Cybertron was destroyed with it.” Ratchet hummed, turning to his screen.

“ Not all of them.” Ultra Magnus spoke, turning to Amanda. She stiffened under his calculating gaze. “You were his apprentice, surely you recall the information taught to you by your late mentor.”

“ Barely,” Amanda murmured, “ I had them written, but as I’ve said, he was secretive – I’m sure he knew more than he let on.”

He narrowed his eyes.

“ Er, sir."

“ Something doesn’t add up,” Smokescreen approached her, “ The fire, it doesn’t sound like an accident to me.” Arcee gave him a reprimanding look, yet Amanda waved it off, taking no offense. “Believe me, I thought so too, but traces of gas leakage were evident.”

“ This sounds like a Sherlock novel,” Raf whispered.

“ Aha!” Ratchet beckoned, “ I’ve found the four relics salvaged from your late mentor. If it’s any consolation, no Decepticon signals have been detected. They've been quiet for some time now.”

“ Then what are we waiting for?” Bulkhead smashed his hands- servos, together, making a thunderous clank, “ I say we get our hands on these relics and bring them here so we can examine them.”

Bumblebee let out a series of whirs and beeps. “ Indeed Bumblebee,” Optimus agreed, “ We cannot retrieve these artifacts in daylight. The risk of involving any human casualties and witnesses is far too great.”

“ Wait,” Amanda frowned, “ We’re going to _steal_ from the museum?”

Everyone stared at her. “ Will that be a problem Ms.Laurent?” Optimus politely inquired, “ I too would have been opposed to the idea, if it was not for our current situation.”

Amanda shook her head, feeling dumbfounded, “ No. I’m not, but you can’t just sneak into a museum. You’ll get caught.”

“ Ahem,” Miko cleared her throat, “ Who says they’ll be going alone? We can handle it, it’s not like anything we haven’t done before.” Jack and Raf grimaced, the older one rolling his eyes, “ Remember how the last one went?”

“ Ms.Laurent,” Optimus explained, “ I must admit, I was the one who agreed to recruit you. I have read your research paper, or as you call it, thesis paper. Your detailed description of what could only resemble Cybertronian symbols attracted my attention, not because your paper was simply educational, but it was also written with sincere passion. Therefore I would not have trusted this information upon anyone else.”

If Amanda had wings they would have been fluttering, she beamed, “Thank you Optimus. I’m glad to hear that.”

“ I didn’t know they were Cybertronian,” She admitted, “ I only knew there was a pattern scattered across civilizations throughout history, repetitive, similar, even if these societies have never met one another. I isolated the theory as an extraterrestrial lifeform, one that connects our stories. I never expected it to be this-“

She paused, carefully mulling over the words.

“ This profound.”

“ All the more reason for us to reach those relics before the Decepticons. We will leave once the sky turns dark. In the meantime,” He turned to his second in command, " Ultra Magnus will take you to your housing. Accompanied by agent Fowler."

Amanda nearly forgot the ranger was here as if on cue, he appeared from the balcony, " I decided to make a few calls to clear the museums for you, to avoid another accident." He gave Miko a knowing look, " I hate to exercise my authority like this Prime, but if these relics are important then we mustn't waste time."

" Although," He added," I hate to break it to you, but I could only clear a path for the museums here. I can't do anything with the ones beyond our borders."

The locations were shown on screen. " Two relics are located here, one inside the Metropolitan Museum of Art and the other in the Art Institute of Chicago."

" The big apple?" Fowler scowled, " What is it with you Cybertronians with leaving your things in such crowded areas?"

" The other two, are in Europe. One located in the Kunsthistorisches Museum in Austria. The last one in France, located within the Louvre."

" The Louvre?" Raf beamed, " The Louvre is the largest museum in the world! That's where they keep _Mona Lisa_."

" Why would you display a woman in a museum?" Smokescreen asked, horrified.

" Savages," Ratchet grumbled. “ She's a painting," Jack assured.

" I suggest we split up," Arcee said, " I suggest Raf goes with Bee to New York. In a densely populated area you wouldn't want to be noticed, Raf's size can easily make him invisible."

Raf grinned sheepishly, " Okay, I'll go with Bee." The mech mentioned beeped cheerfully. " I'll go with them," Jack offered, " You can easily get lost in the Big Apple, besides Raf can’t be seen wandering on his own - he'll need someone who can pass for an adult. I'll go with Arcee."

" Pass for an adult," Miko laughed. Jack ignored her, even when Arcee seemed to give him the same smug smile.

" Smokescreen and I will secure the relic in Chicago," Optimus suggested, " Bulkhead and Miko will be going to Austria."

" Sweet !" Miko whooped, " You hear that Bulk? We better brush up on our German."

" And for the one in France," Ratchet asked, " Optimus, you can't possibly be sending her." Amanda furrowed her brows, " I'm right here, Ratchet. I hate to do this, but I agree with you." Ratchet gave her a complacent look - " I can't go alone."

" Your proficiency in the language will serve as an advantage, and I know you are familiar with the inside of the Museum. As for support, you will be accompanied by Ultra Magnus." Ultra Magnus remained collected, but the brief raise of his brows suggested she wasn't the only one who wasn't thrilled with the proposal. " I don't have any training on the field, is- is there some kind of protocol or precaution I should take first?"

" Ugh, they’re already starting to rub off one another," Miko snickered. While Ultra Magnus shot the girl a glare, Amanda looked pleadingly at Optimus. However, the Autobot leader doesn’t seem to leave any room for argument. “ Do not worry, Ms.Laurent. You are in capable hands, that is why I have decided, Ultra Magnus will also act as your guardian throughout your stay here with us.”

“ W-What?” She stammered. She faced Ultra Magnus and his facial expression, if it was possible, looked more irritated than before. He however, made no move to file a complaint, simply acknowledging Optimus with a firm ‘sir.’

“ Aw, why does he get to have a human charge before me?” Smokescreen whined and Amanda drifted closer to the Autobot, leaning over the railing as if to show Optimus that they looked more compatible with one another. The leader placed a hand on Smokescreen’s shoulder, “ Jack has already taught you of what you need to know of Earth. Ultra Magnus, however, has yet to be assimilated on Earth’s customs. I believe Ms.Laurent can help fix that.”

Amanda glanced at Ultra Magnus, he didn’t look like someone who’d want to learn of Earth’s customs. Their first impressions weren’t pretty and she hoped it won’t be the same for their time together, she doesn’t know how much longer she can take calling someone ‘ _sir_.’ Smokescreen shot her an ‘ _I tried_ ‘ look, paired with a hopeless shrug.

" Wait !" Miko yelled. Everyone stopped what they're doing. Miko was no longer staring at Amanda, but she was examining her. Amanda felt bare, she looked around uncomfortably. Until it dawned to her on what might be happening. " Miko wait," Amanda reached out, but the girl was quick to dive into the back of the couch, pulling out the casing of a DVD film.

The girl's eyes widened as she aligned the picture next to Amanda. " I _knew_ it! I never forget a face !"

Amanda covered her face, " How do you even have that? It's a _horrible_ movie."

" Yeah, but you're in it," Miko chuckled. " Fowler must be desperate to hire you instead of an actual historian." Amanda actually scowled at that, " I can do more than just act in shitty horror movies you know, it doesn't make me any less competent in helping you." Optimus frowned at the choice of words, but Amanda looked at him – she knows he knows children their age curse too.

" Hey," Miko raised both hands, " Maybe the reviews don't agree, but it was pretty good! Right Bulk?"

The Autobot looked at her, " What are you talking about Miko? Are you saying she's…the girl from the film?"

" You're an actress? " Jack exclaimed. Not long after the three children crowded her, the once reserved group growing chatty. The Autobots made no move to interrupt, seemingly confused by the predicament.

" That is why, I've been making a few more calls," Fowler scolded, " You might not be an all-star Laurent, but there are people out there who may still notice you from a few magazines and movies. Although, I doubt it, considering where we are in the map. This sleepy town can’t get sleepier.”

" Don't worry Fowler," Miko giggled, " She's not _THAT_ famous."

" Hey !" Amanda didn't know whether she should be relieved or insulted.

" Can someone explain what's going on ?" Ratchet interrupted. Raf went for his laptop and Amanda felt powerless to stop him while the other two teenagers crowded her against the railing.

" Amanda's an actress," Raf pushed his laptop upwards, and the Autobots crowded against the small screen. Amanda was mortified, she wanted to melt into a puddle. ' _Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck_ -'

" An actress?" Arcee gave her a double-take.

" It means I help make movies," Amanda added lamely, " I play the characters, going with the plot. I sometimes star in a few films, but it's not a big deal. It’s not like I’ve gotten an _Oscar_."

" It's your occupation?" Bulkhead inquired.

" Yes, well," Amanda winced, " It's not my only occupation, I do other things too. I play in cafes, write screenplays -"

" Model," Miko abruptly showed a picture of Amanda on her flip phone. Amanda wanted to pry the girl away as she showed it up to Optimus. After sneaking a glance and seeing that it was one of the mild ones for a tabloid magazine, she deflated. " She's famous, a _celebrity_ if you will." Amanda shuddered at that. She could hardly pass for a celebrity, _I'm a struggling actress if you will_.

" I hardly see how this is relevant to our cause," Ratchet huffed, before adding quietly, “ All the more reason not to trust her.”

" It is relevant as it compromises our confidentiality." Ultra Magnus gave the picture a side-eye, turning to Amanda. " Our objective is to attract as little to no attention, how are we going to achieve that with her?"

" Look," Amanda snapped at him, " When I work, I use my mother’s last name - _Jacques_. People know me from my last name, 'Amanda' alone could hardly jump start anyone's memory. Besides, Miko's right, I'm not _that_ famous."

" I can assure you, Ultra Magnus, I'll be damned if I hadn't prepared for this possibility. For extra precaution, I've requested Ms.Laurent to change the way she looks." Fowler supplied.

The Autobots seemed more lost than before. " And how are you going to achieve that?" Ultra Magnus didn't seem impressed, even if he was, she couldn't tell. She waved him off with her arm, to which she earned a shocked beep from Bee - _oh she's done it now_. " Look, I understand you're worried that I'll Jeopardize your team and their safety."

" Do you now, native? I’m not so certain you do." He asked with an edge to his tone. She straightened the skirt of her sundress , she's _had enough_. " I do. But you have to learn to trust me, _sir_. I'll do my part, you do _yours_."

Silence fell on them, even Miko decided against making any side comments, she simply watched the whole thing with slight amusement. Out of the corner of her eyes, she could catch Bulkhead and Arcee warily glancing at one another, as if they were going to have to diffuse a bomb. Ultra Magnus was trying to vaporize her with his eyes, but Amanda ignored him - at least, tried to. Optimus, thankfully, was quick to dismiss the others - instructing them to prepare for the mission.

Amanda pulled herself away from his stare, retreating to gather her files.

" You got a lot of bearings standing up to Ultra Magnus like that," Smokescreen whispered, leaning down next to her ear. The two of them watched from a distance. Ultra Magnus was conversing with Optimus, no doubt he was talking ( or complaining ) about his new human charge. Amanda sighed, “ Is he always like this?”

She expected Smokescreen to reply with a witty comeback, something that’ll lighten her mood, but he only tilts his head to the side as if to confirm her suspicions. The lack of commentary was enough to make her groan into her palms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me what you think of this chapter below ! <3


	3. La Belle et la Bête, Part II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew, this was a long one, anyways I hope you are all doing well <3

If Amanda had to choose between half a day’s walk under the blistering sun to enduring a very awkward car ride _inside_ Ultra Magnus, Amanda was tempted to opt for dying in the middle of the desert. They’ve barely been driving for ten minutes, yet Amanda was ready to open the door to push herself out. After their disagreement, a certain kind of tension between them had been waiting to snap.

She was now watching the empty stretch of sand behind her, reclining her back hesitantly against the passenger’s seat. Initially, Amanda had reached for the handle of the driver’s seat. The consequences were immediate. “What do you think you’re doing, native?”

She had retracted her hand sharply, “ I-I’m sorry, I was just going to get inside ?” She turned to Agent Fowler, who was deep in conversation with his phone. “Didn’t Optimus say you’ll be taking me home ?”

He didn’t reply, simply opening the door on the passenger’s side. Amanda circled the heavy rig, trying to conceal her embarrassment. Everyone, even Ratchet had seen that. She hovered her hands over the door, not wanting to cross anymore lines. Her hesitance seemed to just make matters worse. “We are wasting time, native. Get in.” Amanda hauled herself up, nearly slipping the first time, before settling over the leather seat – _how on Earth do they even have leather inside of them, am I sitting on Ultra Magnus’s intestines?_ Her thoughts were cut short when Fowler came by the window.

“ You two go on ahead, a few sergeants are already by your place to help you unpack. Uncle Sam called, I have to take a detour to do some official business.” He patted the side of the rig; a gesture Ultra Magnus didn’t seem to find amusing. “ Off you go now.”

“ Buckle up,” Ultra Magnus ordered and her body moved before she did, fasting the seatbelt. As the truck drove away, Amanda watched Fowler from the window like a child forced inside a bus on the first day of school. She could feel her insides jumbling and _God_ , help her she doesn’t want to throw up inside his car and have him obliterate her with a single step.

Amanda can’t take any more of the silence. “Ultra Magnus?”

“Native,” He replied. The voice seemed to be coming from around the cabin rather than the radio itself. “We got off on the wrong foot, I never meant to be rude or to offend you in any way.”

“I accept your apology.” This ended the conversation, leaving Amanda at loss. “ If you’re waiting for a ‘sir’, you’re not going to get it you know.”

“Why is that?” He asked, a challenging edge to his tone. Amanda wrinkled her nose, she knew it wasn’t because he liked to brag about being second in command– but that made it even worse because it just means he’s just wound up tighter than a spring. “I’m not one of your soldiers, besides you seem to ignore the fact that I have a name too.”

“Noted, _Amanda_.” She forced a sweet smile, “ _Thank you_ , Ultra Magnus. Do you always go by that, or can I call you Magnus?”

“ I have always gone by Ultra Magnus.” Just like that the conversation came to another screeching halt. Amanda didn’t mind some peace and quiet – but if this is how they’re going to be for the whole time she’s here, she might as well walk.

“ Your radio, does it work?”

“ It is functional.” The buttons began to shift, earning a few static and chatter. “ Can we listen to it?”

“ I would prefer not to.”

Amanda couldn’t argue, it was his body after all. To reach out for the radio herself would be some form of harassment, which she wouldn’t want to do – but Amanda hated the silence, so she did what he seemed to hate just as much as the radio. She _talks_.

“ Smokescreen told me about how he came to Earth. How about you? How did you first arrive here, was it recent?”

“ I hardly see how this is of any importance to you.” She withered at his bluntness, _did he hate her that much?_ “ Ultra Magnus,” Amanda sighed, “ I’m trying to make small talk with you. You don’t have to like me, but breaking the ice won’t hurt, wouldn’t it?”

He seemed to ponder upon the offer before reluctantly answering. “I arrived here fourteen solar-cycles ago, I believe that would be two Earth weeks. As of transportation, I came here on my ship.”

“ A spaceship?” Her eyes widened, “What were you doing in space?”

“ I wandered space in search of other Autobot survivors. Then, I managed to intercept a coded transmission from Optimus. He said he would be setting up Base on Earth, hence I simply followed the coordinates provided.”

“ So you didn’t arrive with the rest?”

“ No.”

“You were alone then, up there in space?”

After a heartbeat he answered. “ Yes, I was alone.”

“ Must’ve been lonely.”

He made a sound to which she could only interpret as a sigh, “ It hardly matters.”

“ Of course it matters,” Amanda reasoned softly, “ All those years wandering space, alone, I would’ve gone mad. I don’t know about Cybertronians, but humans are _very_ social creatures. Must’ve been rough.”

“ Your sympathy is appreciated. Although I can assure you, I’m more than capable of keeping myself sane.”

The heat finally caught up to her, piercing through the tinted windows. Amanda bunched up her hair in a quick ponytail - fingers combing down her neck, wiping the thin sheen of sweat. As if reading her movements, the window slightly rolled down, letting in a breeze.

“ Thank you.”

“ It would be unfortunate if the heat would force you into stasis.” The dashboard thrummed, and she theorized it must’ve been a built-in cooling system whirring to life – even giant alien robots aren’t insusceptible to the brutal Nevada heat. Amanda continued chatting with him, even if it nearly borders to one-sided. Eventually, he turned on the radio in retaliation.

Now that the radio was running, Amanda leaned her forehead by the window, gazing on as the weatherman in the distance warns them of the hottest summer in decades. Granted, she was referring to some music - but she knows better than to push her luck.

* * *

Unloading her things was easier than expected, by the time they pull into the driveway, three men were already waiting by the door. They all greeted Ultra Magnus properly, reminding Amanda once again of where he stands in the chain of command – not like he hasn’t been doing that. They wasted no time in unpacking the boxes – the cargo, much to her relief, wasn’t his organ. Therefore, she felt no remorse walking over the platforms to help the men unload all twenty boxes.

In under an hour and a half, they’re nearly finished. Her plants and décor were now neatly arranged inside the two-story housing. She was glad it breathed a little bit of life into the otherwise desolate space. The colors on the walls were already beginning to fade, no doubt from being left unattended – a vacant space collecting dust by the end of the street.

The men were now drinking lemonade by her porch, talking idly with one another. In the beginning, Ultra Magnus had decided against it – “They’re here to help you, it would be unproductive for them to talk, they should keep themselves occupied while they can.” To which Amanda responded with frustration – “They’re just resting, Ultra Magnus. It’s not a big deal.”

Ultra Magnus decided to go on patrol, not wanting to waste any time. In the meantime, Amanda decided to keep her word on ‘disguising’ herself. She stood by the mirror, gazing at her reflection under the yellow lighting. Tan skin, gray eyes, thick eyebrows – Amanda smiled at how much she looked like her father. As a brunette with side-swept bangs that were starting to grow unevenly, she blew them out of her face – laughing. 

She smiled sadly, picking up the box of hair bleach – now she’d inherit her mother’s hair. Amanda worked quickly, using the scissors to even out her bangs as she waited for the dye to settle. She slipped on a pair of contact lenses – cobalt, paired with non-prescription glasses to pull off a _Clark Kent_. As she worked, the silence was louder than the music from her phone by the sink, but she continued, even if it was hard to look at herself afterward.

* * *

Once she heard Ultra Magnus pull into her driveway, she had ten minutes to spare before their departure. She secured her papers into the satchel, debating on whether she should take her phone with her. It would be useless, considering that Fowler doesn’t allow her to call anyone. Even with the secure signal, they can’t ever be too careful.

The Autobot honked for the third time, causing her to shove the phone inside before running out. She wrestled with her jacket by the hallway, before struggling with her shoes on the porch – all the while frowning at his impatience.

“Ultra Magnus calm down,” She stumbled inside, glaring at his side-view mirror. She got the sense that he was looking back at her. “Is this the disguise Fowler was referring to?”

“Not bad right?” Amanda checked herself by the side mirror, running a hand down her hair. He stalled, before starting the engine “It will do.”

She pouted playfully, “ No compliments?”

Amanda took his silence as a firm no. “How was patrol?”

“Uneventful, deception activity has been quiet for some time now.” Amanda didn’t like the sound of that, “You’re suspicious, you think they’re scheming.”

He stayed quiet. “ Look, you don’t have to trust me Ultra Magnus, but Optimus does. He sent me here so I can help, and I can’t help him if I’m left in the dark.”

“ It would stand to be true, considering that they’ve been securing more Energon mines.” He answered and he doesn’t seem to be happy with her bringing up his commander’s name. “ The scouting party has detected a rise in their activity when it comes to gathering resources.”

Amanda briefly wondered about their energy source. Energon is ubiquitous in Cybertronian culture; in addition to being the Cybertronian’s primary "foodstuff", it also serves as the default power source for their machines and weapons, and if she heard Smokescreen right – it was even used as a currency.

“ _True Energon is an emanation of Primus_ ,” Smokescreen explained, “ _The Creator - it’s the basic building block of our bodies and sparks_.”

“ Why would there be Energon on Earth?”

“ When the Great War broke out, both Autobots and Decepticons seeded Energon crystals all across the galaxy for the sole reason of hiding them from the opposing forces.” He explained, “ It is the reason why Energon deposits exist on alien planets such as yours, to be mined.”

“ Then it's not a form of renewable energy, it's scarce. You guys are running out, aren’t you?”

“ At the moment, the Decepticons have an upper hand considering their vast supply of Energon. But it’s only until a matter of time until they run out.” He stopped by a red light, “ If we had a good supply, we would have utilized the Ground Bridge more often. I wouldn’t be driving you around.”

Amanda let out a laugh, offended, “ It can’t be that bad driving me around.”

Ultra Magnus replied by turning on the radio.

* * *

The Louvre is the world's largest art museum. A historic monument in Paris. A central landmark of the city. A heavily guarded safehouse where nothing goes in or out without notice. Amanda didn’t even think _Ethan Hunt_ can secure a heist from the Louvre.

“ The only person who’s managed to steal anything from the museum was _Vincenzo Peruggia_ , an Italian thief, and I hate to break it to you but he’s not around to do another heist,” Amanda commented. “So I hope you have a good plan.”

” Security officers working in the galleries are usually assigned to one of the museum’s “districts,” each covering between 300 and 800 square meters and incorporating areas grouped according to criteria such as type of artwork, mode of presentation, level of fragility of the artworks, and the architectural characteristics of the galleries. “ Raf explained, showing the map of the museum on the screen.

“ “Regional" officers have detailed knowledge of the collections displayed in their particular sector,” Amanda continued, “ If any of the pieces go missing, they’ll notice it right away. Giving us maybe only twenty minutes to complete the whole thing.”

“ Ugh can’t you just go in smashing ?” Miko complained, “ Why does it have to be so complicated?”

“ Because this is _the Louvre_ , Miko,” Jack muttered, “ Agent Fowler can’t clear a path for us.”

“ The one I’m going to isn’t as heavily guarded.”

“ That’s because it’s not as famous, not to mention that it’s a castle. The open space easily allows you to navigate around the perimeter without getting caught,” Arcee backed. “ Bulkhead can also easily extract you if anything goes wrong.”

“ The Louvre on the other hand, “ Amanda hummed, “ I’ll have to go in alone. Ultra Magnus can’t park too close, a heavy rig with an American license plate would immediately be brought in for questioning.”

“ What are you trying to propose?” Ultra Magnus asked, narrowing his eyes at her as if she was going to run off and cause some trouble.

* * *

Now that Amanda is currently running away from a fifteen-foot-tall Decepticon, Ultra Magnus wasn’t wrong. She can’t remember how she got into this situation. They arrived by the Louvre via Ground Bridge – which gave her enough nausea for Ultra Magnus to order her out of the car to avoid any accidents. It was close to midnight, which means security was on high alert. Amanda had gone straight through the entrance, trying to feign worry to the security guard upfront.

She reasoned that her teenage son was inside, claiming that they’ve been visiting earlier when she got sick and decided to leave first. It was late and his sweet mother is left all alone to wonder what had happened to her sweet little _mon fils_. Any security guard would let a woman in rather than have her cry at the steps of the museum, so there she was, wandering around the dark hallways with only his flashlight to guide her.

“ _Where did you last leave your son_?” He asked.

Amanda thought back on the relic Ratchet had shown her. The handheld mirror was an antique Victorian era relic, hardly resembling a Cybertronian heirloom. It was too small, too human. Imagine their surprise when Amanda managed to discreetly scan the object to show that it was indeed made of Cybertronian metal and technology.

All Amanda needed to do was find a way to pull it out of its case, but someone beat her to it - knocking the guard unconscious with a single swipe of his tendril. The Decepticon reached for the relic, opening the glass case while she stared in shock. A jolt of adrenaline stung her, and her hands moved on its own accord. She swiped the relic out of panic, making a beeline for the emergency stairs. His tendril missed her head, obliterating the wall next to her.

" ULTRA MAGNUS !" She screamed out of panic, even if she doubts, he could hear her. Amanda was used to going on morning runs, but sprinting past the Mona Lisa when an alien is after you isn't the same. The panic caused her to go around in circles, meeting her attacker by the end of hallways and stairs instead of escaping him.

Her phone rang. " Amanda, where are you?" Ultra Magnus's voice flooded her with relief and she made a sharp turn. " I'm in front of the main entrance, please come get me!"

" Find another exit."

" Wh-" Amanda panted," What do you mean? Please just come to the front, I'm already here!"

" Civilians and security may see us," He argued and Amanda whined angrily. She looked around wildly, waiting for the Decepticon to appear out of the dark. Amanda suddenly wondered where all the security went. A glance at the security cameras showed that they were offline, the thought making her stomach churn.

Amanda grabbed the fire extinguisher, Ultra Magnus's voice ringing within the pocket of her jacket. " I understand you are in distress-"

" No shit Sherlock! " Amanda gripped the can tighter, jogging into the darkness. She could feel the weight of the mirror within her pack, slung over her shoulder heavily.

" Refrain from screaming. You're wasting your strength. I'm positioned directly by the exit of the west wing, it's best if-" Amanda yelped, her legs being yanked from under her. She fell with a hard thud against the ceramic floor, before being dragged away.

" ULTRA MAGNUS !" She yelled, hauled into the air directly above the mech’s concealed face. The reflection on his visor showed the fear written across her face, yet she repositioned her grip on the extinguisher.

" Amanda !" His voice echoed from the phone on the floor. Amanda couldn't see the Decepticon's eyes from behind the tinted helm, but the moment his tendrils curled around the bag - she lifted her trembling hands to shove the end of the can against his face. It barely caused a crack, but it was enough to catch him off-guard. He dropped her roughly and she skittered backward, ignoring the pain shooting up her shoulder.

Amanda grabbed the phone, possessed by fear, she sprinted towards the west exit. She banged on the glass doors, jingling the handle.

" Where the _fuck_ , are you Ultra Magnus?" She grumbled, tears threatening her eyes. The reflection on the glass showed the silent mech behind her, _fuck_. His tendrils aggressively reached for her - but the blow never came. Instead the clashing of metal against metal thundered across the halls, causing little tremors everywhere.

" Run !" Ultra Magnus yelled, holding him off, “ Secure the relic!” A stray blow from their fusion cannons went for Amanda, but she ducked, the doors behind her shattering. Beyond petrified, she crawled upwards, forcing herself to stumble out into the open. Her breathing was too erratic, causing her throat to tighten. She hid behind a garden sculpture, feeling the wetness of the grass seep past the fabric of her knees. Amanda knelt there, trying to keep herself from hyperventilating.

Ultra Magnus’s command screamed at her to continue running, to get the mirror as far away from the Decepticon. Yet, every fiber in her body grounded her in place – she was terrified at how a large part of her was begging to go back. _Ultra Magnus_ , her mind yelled, _we can’t leave him, he’s going to get killed_! She’d seen what the smaller mech can do, for all she knows her partner could be _dead_. If he was – she swallowed the bile rising – _dead_ , then any chance of her surviving was buried with him. She peeked through the bushes.

That’s when something tugged at her bag roughly. She spun around, grabbing the straps. “ Hey !” There was a drone before her, chirping and whirring as it tried to pry the bag from her. It aimed something at Amanda, and she moved away just in time for the laser to zip past her temple, destroying a potted plant. It disappeared with the antique, joining its master who had Ultra Magnus under his feet.

The Decepticon aimed a phaser at Ultra Magnus, to only leave without pulling the trigger. Amanda let out a shaky breath, running over to the commander.

* * *

“ You let soundwave get away with the relic?” Ratchet scolded. Amanda couldn’t tell if he was angry at the injured mech or at their empty hands. She sat by the couch, rubbing her face. They were the only ones who returned empty-handed, but not the only ones who had encountered a Decepticon.

“ Knockout nearly swiped the shield away from my hands,” Bulkhead shared.

“ It’s a good thing Bulk here pulled a _Captain America_ and WHAM !” Miko swung her hands into the air, “The mad doc went flying against Breakdown !”

“ Hard to believe a shield this small packs any punch,” Arcee muttered, watching the relic in her arms.

“ We would have returned with the relic,” Ultra Magnus locked eyes with Amanda, “ If someone would have followed my command and continued running.” That’s when she snapped. The combination of her failure against everyone’s success, her near-death experience, and the weight of Ultra Magnus’s reprimanding stare was enough to make her peel off the shock blanket.

“ Listen here, _commander_ ,” Amanda gritted, marching over to him “ You should have picked me up by the entrance, that way we could have gotten away with the relic!”

“ My presence would have alerted authorities and cause a scene, compromising our disguise.” He turned away from the fussing medic, ignoring his protests. “ You should have gotten it as far away as you can from Laserbeak.”

“ Don’t you think authorities would have been there by the time Soundwave chased after me? The Decepticon must’ve disabled and diverted security beforehand! You wouldn’t be seen and we would’ve fucking made it! Also – how the _fuck_ am I supposed to know that he has his own personal drone ?”

She clenched her jaw, “ For the record, I stayed because I didn’t want to leave you alone to fend for yourself, because from what it looks like you were getting your ass kicked! So I’m _sorry_ if I cared, I’ll make a mental note, not to next time.”

“ That’s no way to talk to your superior.” They were face to face now, with Amanda leaning over the railing to stare up at him. She could see Smokescreen wandering behind Ultra Magnus, unsure of what to do.

“ We were nearly killed and you’re still worried about _command_ ?“ Amanda laughed dryly, throwing her arms up in disbelief, “ What are you going to do about it, big guy?”

“ Ultra Magnus, that’s enough.” Optimus’ stern warning pulled them apart. The second in command looked at his leader almost apologetically, while sternly glaring at her. She crossed her arms, sighing as her face burned bright red. “ You should not be blaming one another for what happened. While we lost one relic, we earned three – we could not call that failure.”

Amanda slunk back onto the couch, “ How can the Decepticons know about the relics, where do they even know where to look?”

“ It appears we are not the only one in search of these relics. Megatron’s failure to collect most of the Iacon relics has led him to search for more.” Optimus turns to Ratchet, “ We must not allow them to find the rest before we do.”

“ He must have found the information on the internet,” Raf supplied.

“ Or he must notice the connection between our history, it’s kind of hard to miss when so much of Cybertron’s technology have been found here.” Jack suggested, “ He’s just connecting the dots like we are.”

“ But Megatron doesn’t have what we have.” Smokescreen stood next to Amanda, giving her an encouraging smile. “ He’ll have a hard time figuring out the location of the other relics. That’ll slow him down.”

“ Indeed. That is why we must not lose hope.” Optimus gave Amanda an encouraging look, one that put her to shame for her outburst. “ I’m sorry Optimus, we’ll do better next time.”

“ You can start with the one you lost,” Ratchet showed a picture of it on the screen, “ What is it?” Amanda walked to take a closer look. She pulled out her papers, skimming through her old notes. 

“ Wait, can you please zoom in on that picture?” She pointed to the back of the mirror, at the faded carvings. The rust was almost making it hard for her to make out anything.

“ There,” She gestured, “ At the very top, there’s a writing.”

The scanners zoomed in on the faded scripture.

‘ _Pour ma rose. Belle_.’

“ What does that mean?” Miko asked. Amanda let her eyes trail over the design, studying them. They were carved carefully, intimately – it must’ve been tailored for a pretty price. The owner must be a nobleman, who could easily afford a gold-encrusted mirror.

“ It means _for my beautiful rose_ , but the wording – there’s something wrong with the wording. Unless..” Her eyes widened, “ Oh, but that can’t be true.”

“ What ?”

“ What if beautiful here is not an adjective, he’s not calling the rose beautiful. He’s referring to his rose, _Belle_. Whose name means beautiful. _The_ Belle, from beauty and the beast, the children’s tale.”

“ Wait, the Disney movie about that one girl who falls for an ugly beast?” Miko made a face, “ Wasn’t he like some kind of hairy creep who kidnapped her dad?”

“ Before it became a Disney movie, Beauty and the Beast was a famous French fairytale. It was originally used by villagers to coerce women into arranged marriages, to portray the idea that it wasn’t so bad to be taken away to a remote old castle by some brute.” Amanda shuddered at the thought, “ But what if it’s not a fairytale? The beast has always been portrayed as some kind of lion, but different versions have constantly changed his appearance, meaning he could have been anything –“

“ Are you saying,” Jack laughed, “ The beast is a Cybertronian ?”

“ That’s ridiculous,” Ratchet exclaimed, recoiling, “ We Cybertronians don’t take femmes - _women_ as hostages. What is wrong with you humans?”

“ This was the dark ages Ratchet, people were quick to label things they don’t understand.” Amanda walked to Optimus, “ What I’m trying to say is, what if it has some kind of connection to the story? It was excavated in _Château de Chambord_ , the ruins of an old castle – one believed to be where the beast once lived. That might be our only lead.”

“ Actually, she might be on to something.” Ratchet pulled out another image, zoomed in on another set of symbols neatly hidden by the base of the mirror. “ That’s traditional Cybertronian scripture, and if I'm not wrong - it roughly translates to the same meaning. Of course, with some changes as we do not have roses in Cybertron.”

The Autobots seemed lost, out of their element. Optimus scoured the image. “ What function does the mirror serve in your tale?”

“ The mirror was first used by the Beast to see Belle in her room, where he hears a conversation between Belle and the Wardrobe.” Raf answered, “ When the Beast allows Belle to use the magic mirror, she sees her father dying in the woods. With only hours left before the rose wilts, the Beast allows her to leave. He gives her the mirror so she can still see him, and as a means to remember him.”

“ Someone’s a fan,” Miko muttered with a grin.

“ You’re right.” Amanda confirmed, “ Optimus, we have to investigate.”

“ Allow me to go.” Ultra Magnus rose from the bed, earning a protest from Ratchet. The gash in his arm has seemed to heal. Amanda still finds it difficult to wrap her head around the idea that they are not as invincible as they looked – the idea of bleeding metal was enough to send a shiver down her spine. “ It is my responsibility to retrieve the mirror.”

“ I’m going with you." Ultra Magnus looked at her in, what Amanda could only guess as, surprise. “No way you’re going without me. It’s my responsibility too.”

“ Also,” Amanda walked towards the space bridge, “ The last time I checked, you don’t speak French.”

* * *

Amanda would be lying if she said she wasn’t afraid – she would be having nightmares about Soundwave and his robotic bird for weeks. The sky above them was pitch black, void of any stars. The moon was their only guide, shining gently on the deserted ruins.

“ You did not have to come.” Amanda looked up at her companion. There was a mixture of emotions on his face, all poorly hidden by his façade as he tries to understand her.

“ I didn’t,” Amanda sighed. She was still angry, _furious_ even – but it was hard to let him go alone. Albeit, it was unlikely that the Decepticons would reach here by now. It would at least take them a day to actually figure out the clue, considering that they have no human help. The countryside was also deserted, absent of any form of security. Yet –

“ You’re my guardian,” She explained, “ So we’re going to have to learn how to tolerate one another. We can start by teamwork. I won’t be working under you, Ultra Magnus, I’ll be working _with_ you. And to do that, you have to learn how to trust me, so I can trust you.”

She extended a hand, swiping back a loose strand of hair. “ How does that sound?”

He looked at her hand apprehensively, but she couldn’t hold back a grin when he took it. She wrapped her palm around his finger, shaking it lightly.

“ Very well.”

“ Besides – “ Amanda thought of his ship, drifting aimlessly through a constellation of supernovas. That scene seemed so far away from where they stood. The landscape stretched before them for miles; it rose and fell like giant waves across the tender ocean. The moon’s hallowed pool of subtle light engulfed the path before her, beckoning her into the ruins. Yet, she stopped to turn to her companion with a smile.

“ I don't want you to be alone.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took me a lot of effort, so please tell me what you think of it, feedback is highly appreciated as all I want to do is to improve my writing. Hence I also accept criticism , although please be gentle <3


	4. La Belle et la Bête, Part III

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to rewrite this chapter thrice to make it fit the plot and storyline as well as I could, so I hope you guys like it ! xoxo

Amanda noted the abandoned excavation site. They didn’t even bother removing the trucks, which were scattered all around the grassy plain.

“ Why is the area unguarded ?” He was a few feet behind her, scouting for any threats. 

“ It’s most likely abandoned. It could be because they run out of funding in the middle,” She skidded down a dirt path, “ Or they were trespassing in the first place, and fled once the cops came.” Amanda wobbled, trying to regain her balance after crossing another narrow trench. Ultra Magnus’s movement was immediate, a large finger hovering behind her.

Amanda grinned at him, “ Concerned ?”

“ Optimus wouldn’t want you to come back injured,” He scolded.

“ Just say you’re worried,” She sang, hopping on the stone steps. The castle was stripped of its walls, with the exception of a few towers behind them. They stood above the gravel floor, Amanda’s boots clicking against the tiles. Ultra Magnus followed behind.“ What are we looking for ?”

“ I’m not so sure but - _wait_ ,” Amanda gasped, “ Do you hear that?”

They listened.

“ Why is the floor creaki-“ Her sentence was caught off by a squeal, the ground beneath her crumbling. “Amanda !” Ultra Magnus peered through the hole. He couldn’t see her in the darkness. The drop barely did any damage, but Amanda was sprawled on the floor – covered in dry clumps of dirt.

“ Found it.” She coughed.

“ I cannot follow you.” Ultra Magnus called out.

Amanda pulled out her flashlight, “ Just wait there.”

“ That’s out of the question. We should stay together.”

“ Now you want to get friendly,” Amanda teased. He remains unamused, focusing on searching for an entrance. Which he found by _unearthing the entire floorboard_. Amanda covered herself, “ Ultra Magnus _what_ are –“ More gravel began to rain from above, eventually the night light chased the darkness away to reveal him standing next to her.

“ You’re lucky there just so happens to be a hidden room under here,” She scolded, “ Or else you would’ve desecrated a monument for nothing.”

He ignored her comment, eyeing the tunnel that lies before them. The room was spacious and he was surprised that the fall did not injure her as the height was able to accommodate him. He assumed it was the collecting dirt that broke her fall, considering how unhappy she looked at the state of her being.

“ My jacket,” She murmured, patting away at her clothes.

He moved forward, Amanda following not far behind. The moonlight could only guide them so far, resolving to her flashlight, Amanda tread carefully until they finally reached a clearing. Amanda paled.

“ Is that a-“

Ultra Magnus knelt, “ It’s a burial site.”

Amanda followed out of respect, lowering her head. She examined the enormous coffin, it stretched before them into the dark, carved out of shiny metal. It wasn’t big enough to fit anyone his size, yet it spanned to about three to four feet. Aside from the traces of rust, it seemed to be in a preserved condition. She wiped the sheet of dust, gazing up at its height. “ It’s Cybertronian?”

“ Ultra Magnus to base, do you copy?” There was static. Ratchet answered. “ What did you find, Ultra Magnus?”

“ We found a tomb.”

* * *

In about an hour, the sun would rise in the horizon, bleaching the darkness with a graceful mixture of gold and purple. It would have been nice, Amanda thought, if she could stay and watch the countryside awake from its slumber. It’s just unfortunate that she doesn’t know if she’ll still be alive by the time morning rolls around, considering that Soundwave is once again aiming his drone at her.

When Ultra Magnus heard a Ground Bridge opening in the distance, along with the coffin glowing electric blue – he knew it wasn’t a good sign. He ordered Ratchet to open a Ground Bridge, but the coffin was interfering with their signal. The medic ordered them to make haste for the portal he opened a few miles away from the site.

“ You take the coffin, and I’ll distract Soundwave.” Ultra Magnus gave her a confused look, “Absolutely not, you –“

“ Our priority is the relic, between the two of us I think only you can carry that. I have a plan, but you have to work with me here.” She peeled off her jacket, bunching it up in her arm, “ Ultra Magnus you have to trust me.”

The plan had sounded better in her head, considering now that Ultra Magnus is fighting two Decepticons. The other one – Starscream as she heard Ultra Magnus yell, was aiming one of his cannons at him. Amanda frowned at the drone chasing her, she needs to shake it off her tail. The two feet mini-con was close to getting its claws on her, but Amanda stayed to her path – before quickly doing a side step, throwing her jacket at it. Now blinded, it stumbled forward, crashing roughly into a pillar.

Amanda sat on the ground, panting as she watched smoke rise from the ‘Con.

She doubts she killed it, but knocking it out was better than nothing.

A loud clang reminded her that Ultra Magnus was still fending off two Decepticons. She doubts reinforcements can come on time, so she wrecked her mind for a solution. Her eyes fell on one of the trucks.

Her flight or fight response was at war, one portion of her is tempting her to flee, to run for her life. Yet, something deep within her is begging for her to take action. Amanda felt torn, _fuck_ \- a few tears spilling against her cheeks – _what was I thinking signing up for this ? This is too dangerous, I could die._ She stiffened, _Ultra Magnus could die_.

Her father, _oh_ he would have given her an _earful_ for getting involved with all of this.

Suddenly, a memory of him resurfaced. He was scolding her outside the principal’s office, wiping her tears with his hands. In one of those rare moments, twelve-year-old Amanda had gotten into a physical fight with her seniors, resulting in a black eye. It didn’t matter if she was doing it because they wanted her lunch money, it didn’t matter if they were making fun of her father and it didn’t matter if they managed to get away with it.

“ _Who do you think you’re helping by being reckless? “_ Her father reprimanded _, “ Always choose to be careful, to do the smart thing. Run away from danger, stay out of trouble_.”

Ultra Magnus took a nasty blow from Soundwave before his back collided with Starscream’s claws. He laid on the ground, a blaster aimed at his head. Starscream was gloating, preening with his foot - _pede_ against his chest. She could no longer hear her father’s voice, only the sound of blood rushing past her ears.

She stood up, wiping her face.

If there ever was a good time to be reckless, _now_ would be it.

The battle continued. Ultra Magnus was bigger than both of them, he was tough – throwing punches and doing damage. She was nearly caught in a trance at how strong he was, as he lifted Starscream before throwing him directly at Soundwave. He looked like he’s winning, like he didn’t need any help. But Amanda knew the ‘cons have something dirty up their sleeves, so she climbed the stairs to the yellow truck atop the slope, eying the wrecking ball. She aligned herself as close as she could.

Soundwave was holding of Ultra Magnus, with Starscream aiming another blaster behind Ultra Magnus. It was big enough to assume that it could cause serious damage, something she fears not even Ultra Magnus can take. She hovered her hand on the lever - ‘ _Come on, come on_ ,’ she thought, waiting for Starscream to step closer to Ultra Magnus. Her fingers trembling. She was sweating against the cold air, mist fogging around her mouth after every shaky exhale. The 'Con took one step forward, aiming his gun.

Amanda pulled the lever and from her position, the wrecking ball detached itself with great force. The chains shrieked, alerting Starscream, but it was too late. The metal ball collided violently with the Decepticon, sending him flying a good distance away from where he stood. The weapon fell with a loud clatter, with its owner crashing into one of the towers. The force caused it to crumble upon itself – “ _Scrap_ !” further squashing him under its rubble.

That gave Ultra Magnus enough leverage to overpower Soundwave as the cavalry arrived. Amanda punched the air when she saw Optimus by the distance, followed by Smokescreen. The two Decepticons, composed of one limping Starscream and a distorted Minicon, opted to retreat. They entered the Ground Bridge, but not before Starscream spared her a vengeful look.

Amanda met his gaze, offering a serious look – before taking the liberty to wink at him. Irritated, he left, the portal closing behind them.

“ Amanda.” Ultra Magnus knelt before her.

“ Hi,” She smiled proudly, the adrenaline causing her cheeks to bloom.

“ You didn’t run.” He took in her appearance – she was disheveled; with a few tears across her jeans from falling and dirt across her face. Her eyes were red, littered with tears.

She shook her head, “ No. You watch my back, I watch yours.”

He didn’t smile at her, but he did offer her a respectful nod. To Amanda, that was _way_ better than staying for sunrise.

* * *

Amanda thought it was funny how Beauty and the Beast was a story everyone collective knows. It started with a chambermaid telling it to a young lady, while onboard a ship to America – that young lady would later tell it to her friends, who would tell it to theirs. It was only until an author claimed it did the story became formally dubbed as a fairytale.

That’s why there is at least a thousand version of it, it didn’t matter which one became more popular than the other – the point was clear. It was about a love so strong and true that it could break curses. A love like that sounds too good to be true, much more between a human and a Cybertronian.

Team Prime surveyed the tomb before them.

“ But a coffin this small,” Arcee trailed off, “ Optimus – this doesn’t make any sense.”

It was Ultra Magnus who answered their question, uncovering the tomb, albeit accidentally – he didn’t know his touch would cause it to glow electric blue. The carvings moved, acting as gears that opened the lid with a hiss, to only reveal that it was –

“ Empty ?” Ratchet’s surprise was too quick. Although the coffin didn’t have a corpse, it wasn’t exactly empty. Ultra Magnus held out his open palm in front of her, and it took her a while to realize what he’s offering. Hesitantly, she stepped onto it, grabbing at his thumb for support. He let her down more softly than she had anticipated, earning him a smile.

It was filled with several objects, one of the most noticeable being an oil painting. The tone of the painting is vibrant, filled with precise yet delicate strokes – each of them had a smudging quality that rendered the image watery, like a reflection in a rippled puddle. The style, however, was merely a puzzle piece, that created the ambiance to allow the beauty of the bigger picture.

The woman.

It was a headshot, ending just above her waist. She sat in a graceful posture. Her expression was hard to miss, not easily hidden within the lines of her innocent façade. Her joy was evident in the arches of her lovely brow and the curving of her crescent lips. But her eyes, her eyes showed her _soul_. They were a deep pool of restless gold, an ocean of unbridled passion. She was cradling a lively red rose.

This is it, this was _her_.

“ Belle,” Amanda laughed. Millions of authors have tried describing her in their stories – but to see a portrait of her, those authors didn’t do any justice. Next to the painting, were countless documents written both in paper and canvas strewed across the coffin floor. Amanda caught sight of a metal rose, shining under the luminescent lights. She knew better than to put her grubby hands on antiques, but it seemed to call her – beckon her.

She faintly touched it.

The petals whirred faintly, rotating clockwise, before ejecting a projection up in the air.

She stumbled backward, the Autobots doing the same. The projection forming an image, flickering twice before moving.

The pixels formed a colored video.

“ It’s in French! Quick, can we run some kind of translation ?” Ratchet seemed perplexed by the idea, but he nonetheless went for his computer, immediately opening a channel. New audio flickered by the speakers, translating the message -

“ _Why are you staring at me like that_?” Belle asked directly into the camera. She was laying in an open field – staring lazily at the sunset. Her dress was yellow, made of soft cotton, long and loose. They pool around her shoulders, raking just above her ankles. The flowers around her raised their heads against the skies in silent prayer, their petals blooming under the warmth of the fading lights. Behind them stood a castle, tall and magnificent as its rooftops grazed the skies.

“ _I want to remember this moment_ ,” The voice behind the screen replied, _“ I’m searing them into my optics_.”

“ _Sidelock_ ,” She whined playfully, trying to hide her face. He reached out for her, his huge metal palm visible as they curled around her frame. His talon, sharp and unforgiving stroked her head ever so tenderly. Belle, visibly content, leaned against his touch.

“ _Are you sure you’re as bad you claim to be, my love_?” She didn’t seem the least bit petrified, gazing at him with rare adoration.

“ _Oh only if you knew, my Belle_ ,” The baritone of his voice answered, “ _You wouldn’t want me to stay_.”

Her face crumpled, sadness creeping into her eyes. “ _You can’t stay either way, can’t you_?”

“ _No_ ,” He admitted, “ _I have to go back. I have to fight. There is a war on my home and I cannot abandon my people_.” He stroked her cheek, “ _Even if I can earn a new life here, one with you_. _I don't deserve this_."

The video glitched – “ _But I did not come here to see you cry_.” He tilted her chin with a single claw, looking directly into her eyes. In a swift movement, he lifted her off the ground, earning a cheerful squeal from the woman. She sat atop his chest – _chassis_ as Smokescreen would have said, staring down at him with a look that made Amanda’s heart hurt.

Belle gave her lover one last smile – weakly grinning through teary eyes before the video cuts off into static.

* * *

On the horizon, the sunrise came as if it had missed the sky and wanted nothing more than to warm up those blues to a radiant gold. The colors grazed the tangerine mountains - kissed to their heady blush by the sun, were clouds that moved in shoals. The sky was equal parts blue and grey, streaked with silvers and golds. Amanda took in the scenery before her, deep in thought.

Cybertronians were something of legends, myths, _gods_. A titan hailing from another planet, falling in love with a human – it would seem comical, if not tragic. A fairytale come to life, it sounded like a dream – but the evidence would suggest otherwise. Sidelock and Belle were literally star-crossed lovers, racing against time.

After a few more digging, they discovered that the rose is the relic. After Bumblebee decided to test it out on himself, he discovered that it acted as a cloaking device when attached to one’s body. A long lost weapon forged at the beginning of the Great War - with a few modifications, Sidelock must have gifted it to Belle.

That was why the crypt had remained undetected for so long. Until the mirror landed in the hands of a Cybertronian - unwillingly revealing its whereabouts. The mirror, now in their hands ( considering that it was knocked out of Starscream's grip when the wrecking ball hit him ), have yet to be explored - the incident had left a large crack in its center, shutting it down.

The rose hides the user’s signal, from Autobot and most likely, Decepticon radars. The vestige is more than practical, but the story they’ve just uncovered – that was invaluable. A Cybertronian, who in all likelihood was a _Decepticon_ , had defected war to seek refuge on Earth– to take a _human_ lover. A forgotten history not even the Iacon Hall of Records knew of. If the Decepticons had gotten their hands on it, they would have no doubt erased any evidence of their story ever existing.

The Decepticons would have found their relationship repulsive, _insulting_ even. But Amanda wondered what the _Autobots_ felt. Optimus had expressed his sympathy, but otherwise than that, everyone seemed reserved – maybe the shock has yet to wear off. Ultra Magnus had regarded the whole thing in silence, keeping his thoughts to himself.

Amanda thought of a chart entitled ‘ _Who Would Most Likely Fall in Love with a Human_ ?’ – Ultra Magnus’s name would be last.

At least now she has real information to work with – tangible and preserved qualitative data to finally help her unravel the secrets of their past. However, she’ll have to start tomorrow. Yawning, she watched the tumbleweeds roll across the sandy plane, listening to the thrumming of his engines.

As the moon kissed the skies goodbye - it begins its journey home, descending beneath the hillside, leaving a trail of crimson in its wake. Amanda thought of the mech who had to bury - literally, _bury_ his love. She imagines him lowering the coffin down with a heavy heart, knowing he couldn't take memories of her home with him. She wonders if he was still out there, alone, thinking of the mortal woman he had left on this little blue planet.

" Ultra Magnus?" 

" Amanda."

She fiddled with the hem of her shirt, " We did a pretty good job out there, didn't we?"

His replies were never immediate, but they made her smile." It could have gone better, but yes. I think we did."

Above, sweet like cherry wine, light spilled onto the clouds – the color reminding her of rose petals.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this idea is really far fetched but I hope it makes sense, I really look forward to your reviews. I’m so happy to see your kudos, don’t hesitate to comment on your thoughts <3


	5. why not add friends to the list

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone ! I hope you're enjoying this story and are doing well. If I have to be honest, I've been feeling demotivated lately because I don't think people are really into this fic, but I appreciate your comments and kudos and will continue on! <3

Amanda should’ve known it was the adrenaline talking when Ultra Magnus willingly agreed on something with her. The brief exchanged during their post-mission ride was completely out of character, but maybe it was the sunrise in the distance or the fact that they almost died – but in that brief moment they tolerated one another. It was even _nice_.

But Amanda regretted having her hopes up – because as thoughtful as it was for him to create a routine for them, it wasn’t exactly ideal. Every morning he would pull by her driveway at six in the morning, sharp. He would then proceed to honk her out of bed – “ How is it that you are incapable of disciplining yourself to wake up on time ?”

“ Keep it down there,” She hissed from the window, “ The neighbors might call the cops.” Amanda had even once thrown her shoe at him, to which he retaliated with arriving earlier. After a quick shower ( and breakfast, if she was lucky ), he’d drive her to Base and she’ll spend the whole ride listening to the lovely weatherman – because apparently, Ultra Magnus would rather have her listening to some _Tony Soprano_ wannabe deliver the same statistics over and over again than have her tune in to music.

Even when she’s working, he won’t be far away. Amanda would wither in her little makeshift office – which was a desk pushed by the corner, at the sight of the other Autobots who get to go on recon missions and patrol. Smokescreen would always give her a thumbs up from the distance whenever Ultra Magnus would come and ask her for the fifteenth time on how her research is going – _“ Little shit probably enjoys seeing me suffer too_.”

What made it worse was that everyone else seems to be taking advantage of this, whenever the kids would like to go on rides with their guardians, they would always steer Ultra Magnus towards her. Amanda couldn’t tell how much longer she can keep, as Miko put it, ‘ _taking one for the team_.’

It’s been two weeks and a half since this routine came to life, and Amanda didn't know how much more she could take.

“Ultra Magnus I can’t just miraculously come up with data!” She gestured at the papers before her, “There are billions of information that I need to absorb here. If I had a team, it’ll be faster, but if you haven’t noticed I’m the only one working in the research department.”

“Is Ratchet not overseeing this project as well?”

In the background, Miko and Jack were tiptoeing towards Arcee and Bulkhead, the four making a haste exit before Ultra Magnus realizes that patrol duty had ended an hour ago.

Amanda looked at the medic, who was tapping away in his computer, either oblivious or in denial about whatever is going on around him. “He’s got things to handle too, like communications and Ground Bridge duty.”

Ultra Magnus turned to Raf, who had his laptop open. The boy smiled at the pair stiffly, waving a shy hand. Amanda grinned at him. “Raf is doing school work, that’s his priority. He’s also been helping Ratchet.” Amanda also didn’t want to be the one to remind him that Raf’s a child – not that she didn’t think he was incapable, but overworking the poor boy on her duties was out of the question.

“You out of all people should know how important this project is, we need to get to find the relics before the Decepticons do.” Amanda wanted to lunge a wrench on his head but she opted to bury her face in her hands instead, “ I know how important this is for you, I do. But you just have to trust me, okay? I know what I’m doing and I’ll get things done much quicker if – “ She gestured to him, “ You stop asking me so many times.”

Amanda turned her chair around, “ Have a good day, _commander_.”

All of this aside, Amanda can’t help but feel upset – sure he acts like he has a stick up his ass and could get rather hung-up on protocols, but they were supposed to be working with each other. They should talk, instead of argue, but they can’t seem to help it. Amanda doesn’t hate him, of course not, but she’s not sure if the same could be said on his behalf. Ultra Magnus doesn’t see humans as beneath him, but he hasn’t seemed to warm up to them either.

Optimus for example, is more open-minded on human customs and etiquette, judging from the way he could communicate effortlessly with her and the children, he didn’t even seemed phased whenever Fowler would come in with a complaint. Yet, she has to admit, the leader could be a little gullible at times – like that one-time Miko tricked him into thinking it was an affectionate gesture to call your friends certain ‘derogatory terms’.

Ratchet was nearly sent into spark-arrest when Optimus decided to say, out loud, ‘ _Bitches, roll out_.’ (Everyone might have hidden their laughter out of respect, but Amanda broke down right there and then, earning herself one of Ultra Magnus’s infamous glares.)

He had admitted, that human culture took some time for him to understand. That was the only thing holding Amanda’s patience together. If it was hard on Optimus, Ultra Magnus should also still be adjusting to culture shock – but these days it was hard to tell if she was best suited to live up to his expectations of the human race because Amanda hasn’t exactly been the best example.

“ Where have you two been?”

Amanda flinched at Ultra Magnus’s voice, Smokescreen immediately transforming beside her. She glanced at the younger mech, “ We were just out, you know, going for a drive. I just needed a break.”

Ultra Magnus’s eyes went to the paper bag in her hand, “Then explain what you have there.”

She mentally cringed, _busted_. “ We decided to stop by the mall, get some food and maybe – “ She winced, “ Shop a little.” Amanda knew there was no crawling her way out of this one, what is she going to tell him, humans die if they don’t go shopping every once in a while? Amanda personally, would, but the commander isn’t going to buy it.

“ You do understand that the project is your priority, if you had we could not have you getting sidetracked because you simply wanted to restock your, “ He mulled over the words, “ personal belongings.”

“ I’m sorry sir, this was my fault,” Smokescreen jumped in, straightening with a salute, “ It’s just that, Amanda has been working very hard on this project. I just thought it’d be a good idea to take her out on a spin, so she can catch a break.”

Amanda frowned, placing a hand on his pede, “ Smokescreen, it’s not your fault. Look, if you want to make a big deal out of it, Ultra Magnus, then I should be the only one to blame.” Even if he’s going to give her an earful, no one else should take the fall.

“ Not only did you fail to inform me of this, but you also decided to waste valuable time that could have been directed towards completing your project. I expected more professionalism from you, but it seems the natives of this planet all hold the same disregard for authority. You are delaying us of our objective and I would not have it happen again, is that understood ?”

Amanda stared at him, mouth agape.

She could feel her face going hot, that’s it – “ Why are you so hard on me Ultra Magnus?” Her outburst caused Smokescreen to flinch, Ultra Magnus merely looked down at her with a questioning look. It made her even angrier.

“ All you do is nag at me like everything I do is wrong, nothing I do is ever good enough that it doesn’t require your supervision! I just needed a break, more than the fifteen-minute ones you allow here at the base. I want to go out, do something other than work here day and night. You – You look me like I’m some incompetent, little, human who is doing nothing but wasting your time! Do you really _hate_ me that much?”

The last sentence came out as a defeated whine, her voice cracking. Amanda went over to her desk, marching past the mech. In the distance, Optimus had stopped his conversation with Ratchet, and Amanda was glad at least everyone else was out on patrol.

She sat on her desk, pretending that she didn’t feel him staring at her for the rest of the day.

* * *

“ Ultra Magnus.”

The second in command tore himself away from the window, “ Optimus.”

Optimus placed a servo on his shoulder, and Ultra Magnus’ sighed deeply– as if he was ashamed for being transparent enough that even his supervisor could tell he was in distress.

“ You are conflicted, over what happened today with Ms.Laurent.” The two turn to watch the woman by her corner. She was leaning forward, head down and visibly having fallen asleep in the middle of her work. The sky was dark and the children have all gone home, it would be an hour until midnight soon – longer than Amanda would have usually stayed for.

“ I don’t know what to do,” Ultra Magnus admitted, helpless. “ It has come to my attention that my methods may have been too hard on her, sir.”

Optimus gave him a comforting smile, “ Ms.Laurent is not one of your soldiers, Ultra Magnus. She is a civilian, who out of her own will and the goodness of her heart, has volunteered to help us. She owes us nothing, yet she took it upon herself to aid us – we must remember, that she is human.”

“ That is what concerns me. Although I am honored that you have chosen me, Optimus, I am not equipped to act as her guardian. Perhaps, Smokescreen would be better suited for the task.”

The young mech was stacking their Energon reserves in the distance, humming to himself.

“ That is precisely why I assigned you, Ultra Magnus. The members of Team Prime are not cogs in a machine. Things have changed ever since the great war, and we must adapt to that change. You can start by adapting to Earth’s customs and culture, I am certain Ms.Laurent would be more than glad than to help you.”

Ultra Magnus made a face that could only be called as a repressed wince.

“ Have you had the chance to speak to her, outside the matters of duty ?”

Ultra Magnus seemed stunned, “ No. We didn’t have the time.”

“ Then I encourage you to make time, old friend.”

* * *

Amanda was a heavy sleeper, she could sleep through nearly everything, even Autobot footsteps. But apparently, she was not immune to having a cold finger gently poke her head. She jolted upwards, " Huh? I'm awake! Sorry everyone I was just resting my eyes."

She rubbed her face, blinking twice before seeing Ultra Magnus before her. He stood there awkwardly, but she could spot the flash of guilt across his face. She rubbed her eyes again, taking another good look.

" It's late," He announced, " I should take you home."

She took a good look at the window, it was pitch black out there. Instantly, she remembered what happened today and gave him a stern glare, " No, Smokescreen is taking me home."

" I am?" He asked, bewildered. She met his gaze.

" O-Oh! I mean, yes, I'll be taking her home. If you would allow it, of course, sir."

She didn't know if she was seeing things, but the look was back on his face. It disappeared just as quick as it came, and Amanda peered inside her cup - the _Jamba Juice_ order she made did taste a little funny.

" No." Ultra Magnus proceeded to transform, opening the door for her. " I believe we need to talk."

Amanda grimaced outwardly, grabbing her bag before making her way to the truck. She was tired, the last thing she needed was another one of his " _Humans have no regard for protocol_ " scolding.

Only once she fastened her seatbelt did she realize just how tired she was. She was mentally and physically drained, every fiber in her being was calling out for sleep. Amanda slumped against the seat, making a small sound as her strained joints hit the cushion.

" Are you hurt?"

She shook her head, " No, just very tired."

Even her voice was dragging itself, turning every word into a murmur. He seemed to have sensed it, turning off the radio to let silence in. Neither of them spoke for a while, there was only the sound of rubber grinding against gravel.

" I do not hate you."

Amanda hummed, suddenly awake after dancing on the brink of falling asleep. She blinked at the radio,"What?"

" Earlier today you asked me if I hated you. I don't." He sighed, a very curious sound coming out of someone who didn't need to breathe. " I am guilty of pushing you too hard, but it was not because I think you're incompetent. I know you are capable, that is why I expected much from you."

Amanda watched the moon follow them by the window.

" Perhaps I expected too much, and in turn -" He paused. Careful. " I have hurt you."

" You were being unreasonable, " She admitted quietly, " I'm not one of your soldiers, Ultra Magnus. I've told you this."

" I am aware. I was having difficulties accepting this, but I know now that I must adapt to change. Even if this is outside my training."

" This?"

" Being your guardian."

Amanda let the words settle around her. The night breeze was drifting past the small crack by the window, the one he always leaves open for her.

" Okay." Amanda smiled. 

" Okay?"

" It means all is forgiven. Water under the bridge." Amanda knows sincerity when she hears it, and tonight he was finally letting himself trust her. " I know trusting me is hard, trusting me leaves room for vulnerability, something you didn't allow yourself to have in war."

The wind prickled her skin, making her wrap her arms around herself, " If you're not ready to trust me, I respect that. All I ask is for you to try."

She was afraid she'd cross the line, but after a few counts, he answered, "Thank you. I appreciate your offer."

She placed a hand on the dashboard - it was warm, thrumming with life. "Now, I think it's only right if we make adjustments to our schedule too. For starters, six O'clock is too early."

He let out a rumble, " Hardly."

She whined, " Oh c'mon! Pick me up at 10 O'clock."

" That's hardly productive, half the day would be over by then."

" Do you know humans need eight hours of sleep ?" Amanda knew that was for children, but he didn't.

" Seven. I will have you home on time so you could recharge for a full eight megacycles."

" But that means I'll only have an hour to prepare, c'mon, I need to pick my clothes and have breakfast too." She folded her hands together.

" Why would - why would you need an hour to prepare your outer coverings?"

Amanda cracked a laugh, " I just want to look good."

" I doubt anyone would pay enough attention to notice." She swatted the dashboard, " Hey !"

" Seven. It's decided."

" Okay, but that means I'll just eat breakfast at the base." She tapped her chin, " Or maybe, we can have it together? By that time you'll be out for patrol right ?"

" Yes."

" Okay, then I can come with you on patrol and we can stop by somewhere to eat. This way, we can get to know each other. I can catch you up to speed on our ' human ways' and we can eat breakfast. See? Hitting two birds with one stone, it's effective, time-saving, and boosts morale."

She was drumming her fingers across her lap, waiting.

" You make a compelling case." Amanda put her arms in the air, cheering, "Yay! So it's a date."

" A date ?" Ultra Magnus asked. Amanda froze, " It's a- _uh_ , human term. When I say it’s a date, I meant it’s a good time to meet.”

“ Very well.” He made a turn, “ It is a date.”

Amanda held in her laughter, settling for a shy grin. Not long after they pulled by her house. Amanda didn’t feel so tired anymore, if anything she felt awake, even if her muscles are begging for her to rest. She stretched her arms, “ Thanks for the lift.”

“ You’re welcome.” He lingered for a while by the driveway, and it gave her the chance to take a good look at him.

It was only when he drove away did she realize she’d been sitting in the driver’s seat.

* * *

“ What are you reading ?”

Amanda raised her head.“ I’m reading one of the entries from Belle’s journals. Remember her?”

He gave her a nod. They were siting by the edge of a plateau – well not exactly on the edge, more like meters away from the edge considering that Ultra Magnus believes Amanda would fall right in if they were to stand any closer. She sat on the picnic blanket she brought, eating her grocery packed sandwich.

“ Well, the journal wasn’t arranged in order. So I spent the whole day yesterday trying to catalogue it properly, so we can see what happened in chronological order. I also did translations, so it’ll make it easier for us to find any related information online.”

Amanda straightened her dress – lately she’s been compelled to wear more dresses than before. The children might have no problem wearing jeans and long sleeves, but Amanda could very well pass out from the heat. Even after they had provided her with fans. Either way, Amanda was secretly happy, because it finally gave her a reason to revisit her summer wardrobe.

The off-shoulder dress was floral white, ending just below her knees. Her non-prescription glasses tucked away, replaced by a pair of red rims. She had cheekily stood by her porch, “ What do you think?”

Ultra Magnus had simply brushed it off, “ It hardly matters what you wear.”

He was now politely sipping his liquid energon, looking out into the gorge – and there was something oddly intimate about watching him eat. It was not something she had ever pictured Ultra Magnus doing, as she had never seen him eat in Base. But here he is now, sitting by her side with his legs outstretched.

She averted her gaze, “ Here, I’ll read you one of her entries. I’ve just finished translating this one.”

“ _Be still my beating heart ! Oh, the Lord knows I am stronger than this. It is an hour past midnight and I am feeling most restless. I am currently writing this by the fire of my study, one Sidelock has so graciously offered for me. He is strange – that I have come to understand, but he is even more so today! He spent the day grazing the skies and I was left to admire his beauty from below – oh he is quite charming with his antics and wicked tricks. Most odd however, is how he had allowed me to touch his wings ! I was honored , if not a bit anxious. He had never let me do that before_ –“

“ So he is a seeker.”

Amanda furrowed her brows. “ I’m sorry,a Seeker ?”

“ Seekers are Fliers loyal to the Decepticon cause, they provided the Decepticons with invaluable air power against the Autobots during the Great War. Starscream, is an example.”

Amanda pulled out her notebook, scribbling.

“ In an effort to placate the feuding cities, Vos and Tarn, each was given something of value. Vos thus became the home of the Cybertronian Air Command, home base of the Fliers. Starscream was one of their leaders before the war. When the war began, most of them followed Starscream when he aligned himself with the Decepticons.”

“ What about the rest ? Did they join you – the Autobots ?”

“ Many of the surviving Fliers from Vos joined the Autobots, who call themselves Aerialbots. Yet, I haven’t met any Autobot fliers after the Great Exodus.”

“ The Great Exodus ? Was that after the war?”

“ When Cybertron proved uninhabitable, Optimus and Megatron led most of their respective armies off-planet. By that point in time, our planet has proven to become a barren wasteland, though I stayed behind to command what few Autobots remained. When our last stronghold fell into enemy hands, we were forced to go off-planet. That’s when I decided to follow Optimus’s signal.”

Amanda looked down, “ I’m sorry to hear that.”

“ The information may prove vital to your findings.” He placed his cube next to him, empty. Amanda glanced at her watch, they still have a few minutes to spare – the deal was forty minutes, it’s only been twenty-six. “ Please continue.”

“ You were very brave, by the way,” She added, before quickly going back to the paper.

“ Right, as I was saying – _Then during supper he had presented me with a gift. He gave me a mirror, but it was no ordinary one – it was beautiful, shining the same way he does under the firelight. He told me he made it himself, for me ! I was overjoyed to hear that he has enchanted it, with science he said, to allow me to talk to him whenever I would be away to visit my papa by the village_.

 _Oh there it goes again, the fluttering of my heart – be still! It was a wonderful gift indeed, one that I intend to cherish. I am beginning to think we are becoming closer, perhaps – it is a silly thought! Yet, perhaps we are straying to more than friendship…are we? This is not how I usually behave, what am I thinking? The clock has struck an ungodly hour, I shall get some sleep, by grace, the morning should fill me with clarity_.”

Amanda tucked the paper back within her folders, grinning mischievously, “ How cute.”

“ I am surprised she noticed that the Seeker is courting her.” Ultra Magnus stated. He didn’t seem bothered, yet he didn’t seem comfortable on the topic either. Talking about courting rituals with someone you’ve just started to get along with was a terrible idea, but it was better than nothing.

Amanda’s grin got wider – “ Oh _really_ ? Tell me about it.”

“ Perhaps you should consult the others,” He sulked, “ I am not equipped to give you such information.”

“ I’m not asking you to become some love doctor, Ultra Magnus ! I just want to know, c’mon, this information may be vital to my findings.” He narrowed his eyes at her, “ You have medics specializing under romantic entanglements ?”

“ No, but you’re dodging the question. Unless of course I’m breaking some kind of taboo here, I wouldn’t want to force you into doing something you’re not supposed to.”

He shifted closer to her, “Discussions of courting rituals are not sacred, but they are private. It is not something openly shared and I am unsure whether you should hear about these rituals from me. As I am not a seeker.”

“ Yet, I suppose the lack of seekers would leave the responsibility of giving information to me.” He made a face, sighing, “ Seekers as a whole have their own culture specific to them. The overall belief is that, as Seekers, they are superior and should be regarded higher because of that. As the Golden Age and Great War pass, many Seekers began to see how “archaic” that way of thinking is, dropping from their customs. However, certain rituals and traditions stay the same. Such as the courting rituals.*”

“ So he’s an old school kind of guy.” Amanda laughed, writing on her notes, “ Okay, different strokes for different folks.”

Uncertainty was written all over his face, one might even call it bashful. ‘ _Oh I’m going to crack this mech open like a walnut._ ’

“ Go on then Ultra Magnus,” She gestured, “ Don’t stop.”

“ The courter would start by gestures such as gift giving, then they would announce their courtship to family members. The courting ritual is announced to the Seeker’s family and is usually received with celebration. If there is no announcement, the entire ritual will be seen as void and won’t be recognized by the community.*”

Amanda scribbled more fiercely, “ This is amazing ! Thank you, Ultra Magnus, this will help big time.”

Seemingly glad to be put out of his misery, he straightened, “ Is it similar for humans?”

She shrugged, “ It used to be like that back in the days, and I meant _way_ back. I think several communities still do this, but it’s all based on beliefs and preference.”

“ Is it the one popular around your culture?”

Amanda laughed, “ Pfft, I don’t know. I mean, in today’s modern society courting isn’t exactly the word for it. I mean personally, courting is not up my alley. If someone wants to get with me, we’ll maybe go somewhere scenic to have a meal. We’ll have a nice chat and get to know one another, then we’ll see where it goes after that.”

MUltra Magnus looked at her. There was a few moments of silence and she was starting to squirm under his curious gaze, until she took a look at their surroundings.

 _Shit_.

“ I meant !” She defended, suddenly flustered, “ I meant friends can do that too ! Friends can sit with one another and – and they can have a nice chat and share a meal. Which is what we’re doing right now.”

It was one of those rare mornings in Jasper where clouds dusted the sky, easing the rays of sunlight that reached out for her. There was even a gentle breeze to accompany them, giving Amanda no absolute reason to feel this warm. He seemed to be putting some thought into it, looking at the view before him.

“ You regard me as your friend?”

Amanda hesitated, “ Uh, yes? I mean, we are teammates, co-workers, and I am certainly not one of your soldiers. Why not add friends to the list? If you are willing, that is? After all, we went through the same things friends would go through – we nearly got killed together, we argue and we’re now having a nice breakfast.”

“ Very well.”

She let out the breath she didn’t knew she was holding, patting the sides of her cheeks, “ Well, we should go back to base then ?” He transformed, and was that a _smirk_ on his face ? She shrugged it off, not ready to handle that revelation yet.

Once inside, the radio whizzed to life. Yet, instead of her favorite weather man, a familiar tune filled the cabin.

“ You-You’re letting me listen to music ?” She asked, disbelieving.

“ Would you like me to turn it off?”

Amanda shook her head, “ No, _no_ ! I’m glad. Thank you.”

Avoiding big roads meant that there was little traffic noise for the music to compete with, considering that it was played in a moderately low volume. This allowed Amanda to move her head softly to the music, a triumph smile across her lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *The headcannon about seeker courting rituals comes from https://just-cybertronian.tumblr.com/, check out their page ! It's very educational and enlightening, not to mention very interesting as well. 
> 
> Please tell me your thoughts of this chapter below, I'd love to hear your feedback ! :) <3


	6. we should stick together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, hope everyone is doing well <3

There are days where they get along – he’d let her listen to the radio and she’ll explain to him human customs over breakfast. Those days were tame and the base would be devoid of sound – with each of them respectively busy with their duties.

Yet, on the days where they do argue – he’ll scold her for playing music out loud and she’ll lie to him about human customs. The base would be filled with sound, mostly coming from the pair as everyone else would watch in – if not worry, amusement.

“ _Primus_ make them stop,” Ratchet groaned.

“ No way,” Arcee crossed her arms, leaning against the railing, “ Where else am I going to get this kind of entertainment?”

“ She looks like she’s about to choke him,” Raf murmured.

“ Let her,” Miko scoffed.

Amanda was gesturing wildly with her arms while Ultra Magnus struggled to keep his composure. It was one of those rare moments where Optimus was out on patrol while everyone else has just returned. They’ve been arguing for –

“ It’s been going on for thirty minutes now,” Jack whistled. “ New record.”

“ How can they keep an argument that long?” Bulkhead muttered, shaking his head. Bumblebee let out a series of beeps, which lead to a series of protests.

“ Trust me, Bee,” Miko sighed, “ Even an old married couple knows when to stop, by this point, they’re arguing like petty old women.”

In the distance, Amanda buried her face in her hands – “ Oh my God, _Ultra Magnus_. I forgot my earphones today, I was rushing because someone is already by my driveway by seven –“

“ Was that not the agreed time ?”

“ Yes it was, but you can’t expect me to not forget at least something when you barely even give me time to shower.” She groaned, “ And I can’t work without some music, I’ve even played classical music to make it more accommodating for everyone. You’re the first person to come to me and complain about Beethoven, who does that ?”

Ultra Magnus remained straight-faced, but if he had a vein, it would have been twitching by now, “ It is not my responsibility to atone for your lack of discipline, you should have prepared your things beforehand. That way, you will minimize the risk of forgetting your things. On the matter of playing music, it will disrupt base activity and hinder the focus of those around you.”

“ Who ?” Amanda gestured, “ No one is usually here, it’s usually just Ratchet! He doesn’t want to admit it, but I know he likes classical music. I’ve seen him nodding along to it, also did you know classical music sparks creativity and reduces stress levels ?”

“ That information is only applicable to your kind,” Ultra Magnus reasoned, “ It is against regulation for recreational music to be played within military bases.”

They continue for what felt like hours – but if there’s one thing everyone finds amusing is how after every argument, they’ll still manage to come up with a common ground. By now, the two must’ve learned that they are, in a professional way, inseparable.

They might as well learn how to cope with it.

After that incident, Amanda never forgets her earphones – even if she did, she’ll simply walk up to Ultra Magnus with her hand out, and he will pull one out of his sub-space for her. “ He lets her keep things in his sub-space ?” Smokescreen had asked, almost disbelieving.

“ I guess that’s better than getting into another couple’s quarrel,” Arcee wondered aloud, watching the woman shoot Ultra Magnus a cheeky wink – to which he only replies with a tired sigh.

* * *

Patrol had been, more or less, uneventful. Ultra Magnus arrived at Base, pulling up just in time to see his charge leaning against the railings. He slowed down, taking in the sight of Smokescreen before her.

The rest of the human children were also there. At first glance, the four seemed to be in a deep discussion amongst themselves – but a closer look tells Ultra Magnus that the four was being scolded.

By Amanda.

Their body language, aside from Miko’s, all showed signs of guilt – slumped shoulders, shrinking postures, raised eyebrows. Ultra Magnus halted, listening to their conversation from the shadow of the entrance tunnel.

“ You guys shouldn’t go around saying things like that,” She frowned, “ I know Ultra Magnus can be a little hard on us, but he’s doing his best !”

“ We’re sorry Amanda,” Jack muttered, “We got a little carried away.”

“ Yeah, you did,” Amanda nodded, visibly upset.

“ What’s the big deal ?” Miko huffed.

“ Sure maybe he’s a little uptight but you’re making it sound like all he does is act like a killjoy and bark out orders. He’s one of the best military strategists in Cybertron and we’re lucky to have him here, he’s acting this way because – because it’s just the way he is and we shouldn’t ask him to change. It’s his way of caring.”

Amanda vented, the words spilling out of her mouth. “ Besides, you were making fun of his shoulder pads, which isn’t very nice !”

She crossed her arms while the four of them squirmed under her gaze. “ I don’t want to hear anymore Ultra Magnus slander, okay?”

“ You seem to have no problem arguing with him,” Miko countered.

“ That’s different and you know it,” She frowned.

“ Alright,” Jack caved in, “ We won’t do it anymore. What we did was wrong. Ultra Magnus is a respected member of our team and you’re right, he’s a good leader.”

“ Yeah, we’re sorry,” Raf added and the boy genuinely looked guilty. Amanda let down her guard, patting him on the shoulder, “ Okay.Now, Smokescreen, take them home. I think the rest of the team will be back later than expected.”

“ Okay, sorry, Amanda.” The young bot rubbed the back of his neck, “ He did command the Elite Guards and I have always wanted to serve under him.”

“ Now you get to.”

The four walked past Ratchet, who gave no second glance, before leaving. Ultra Magnus watched her walk back to her post, flopping onto her chair. She twirled a pencil around her fingers, continuing with her work as if she hadn’t just defended him.

Ultra Magnus was used to having both his supervisors and soldiers talk behind his back – it was a fickle thing, something he had never allowed to bother him.

Nonetheless, the hurt in her eyes when she reprimanded them didn’t go unnoticed – and Ultra Magnus almost allowed himself to smile.

Almost.

* * *

“ Why is _Barbie_ always around? She’s here more often than helicopter mom.”

Amanda tried to ignore Miko’s protests, the girl wasn’t exactly the best at whispering – Even if Amanda was sitting a good distance away from her and Bulkhead, she could still picture the younger girl’s expression.

“ Miko she’s helping us,” Bulkhead reasoned, “ She’s part of the team now.”

Miko let out a scoff, “ So we’re just letting anyone in now? I thought this was a secret group and doesn’t that compromise our security or something? How do we know she isn’t a ‘Con spy ?”

“ Maybe because she isn’t a Decepticon, Miko,” Jack cut in, “ I don’t see what’s the big deal. Especially since you’ve been taking advantage of her to keep Ultra Magnus away from us.”

The bickering continued and Amanda didn’t even have to lean back to listen by this point.

“ What if you all take your bickering elsewhere ?” Ratchet warned and Amanda could tell the old medic was fiercely gesturing to the fact that Amanda was in the room, implying that just because she was head deep in papers doesn’t mean she’s deaf.

“ Ugh whatever,” Miko huffed, “ Don’t we have recon?”

“ Not today.” Ultra Magnus’s familiar voice appeared. “ Bulkhead and Arcee, today is your turn to do patrol.”

“ Yes sir,” The two answered, transforming away with their charges. Once she couldn’t hear their tires anymore, Amanda turned around, watching him expectantly.

“ We are going for recon.”

Amanda knew Ultra Magnus always does recon alone, so when he knelt to offer her a human-sized device, she couldn’t help but feel giddy. It looked so small in his palm that Amanda almost missed it. She had to support herself on his thumb to reach for it, “ What is this?”

“To simplify it, that is a scanner. Ratchet and Raf were able to construct one your size. It helps us find Energon, once you are nearby a reserve, it will alert you.” He stood up, talking to Ratchet.

She did a few stretches, relinquishing in the feel of finally getting out of that chair. She jogged to keep up with Ultra Magnus, going through the Ground Bridge with him. The first time had been nauseating, but the second time only gave her a slight headache – which disappeared once they stepped out into the open.

The stream lay before them like a broad belt of black and silver, with several mossy boulders peeking out of the surface. The stream is languid in pace, eased by the collective chirping of birds and insects. Amanda instinctively shivered, adjusting to the change in the climate. It was colder here and Amanda was glad she had brought her jacket with her.

“ Where are we?”

He looked at his scanner, “ Guangxi, China.”

Amanda took a step forward, before immediately sinking forward. She struggled with her shoe, once she realizes her right foot is stuck in a muddy pool, she looked up helplessly at him. “ You should’ve given me a heads up. I would have dressed for the occasion.”

She tugged some more before Ultra Magnus wrapped his finger around her. She yelped, her foot springing free from the trap. He lowered her above a boulder, where she was left to mourn on her muddied flats.

“ Those were my favorite pair,” She muttered. Ultra Magnus stuck out his palm to her, and she had seen the other Autobots do so too. He wanted to carry her.

Amanda shoved the thoughts away, dusting herself off. “ That’s okay Ultra Magnus, I can walk on my own.” The last thing she wanted to be was some kind of burden, even if she most likely weighs nothing when carried by a thirty feet tall alien.

Amanda hopped down, proceeding to navigate her way through the path. “Are you coming?”

He walked ahead, “We will stay together until I tell you to split up. Maintain communication with each other after every twenty cycles. That is every twenty Earth minutes. I will hail you through your communicator, understood?”

Knowing that communicator meant her phone, she nodded, hopping onto a boulder. The water was shallow and clear, making way for a few fishes to swim past her. Amanda watched in delight, all the while trying to balance herself as she moves from one stone to another.

“ My readings indicate we should go North, does yours say the same?”

Amanda glanced at the screen, tapping it once and twice – watching the arrow flicker. “ Mine says west ,if I’m not wrong.” She lifted it up for him to see and he nodded in confirmation, “ It seems we’ll have to split.”

Ultra Magnus eyed the terrain before him. The stream stretched for a few more miles. He could easily keep an eye on her here. Before he could tell her, she was already heading the other way, laughing to herself every time she nearly loses balance. Ultra Magnus knew there was no getting her to listen if he were to warn her to be careful, so he left her, following his scanner.

Amanda felt lucky that she had picked a pair of high-waisted shorts for today. The collared polo shirt she had on matched the navy green moss chewing their way above the boulders. They were slippery, making Amanda wobble now and then. It took a lot of focus to pay attention to the readings instead of the view. Ultra Magnus had called twice, and they were both still empty-handed.

Amanda swatted a mosquito when her scanner beeped.

“ Aha !” She grinned, peering down into the crystalline waters. A single crystal poked out of the swarm of miniature pebbles. Amanda whirled around, “ Ultra Magnus, I found one !”

Her voice echoed through the air, alerting the nearby birds. Ultra Magnus wasn’t there and Amanda palmed her forehead, fishing out her phone. She dialed the number excitedly.

“ Amanda. What’s your stat-“

“ I found one! I think I found an Energon reserve,” She laughed.

“ Good work. Stay where you are.” She could faintly hear the trace of relief in his voice before he ended the line, and Amanda crouched on the stone, peering at the crystal. It was glowing blue, thrumming with energy. She was wary of whether she should touch it, hands hovering just above the water’s surface.

She grinned, _she found one_ , on her own! A tiny frog hopped out of the water, perching above the boulder across her.

He peered at her through yellow eyes.

“ That’s right buddy, I , Amanda Laurent, found an Energon reserve on my own! Who knows how many crystals are hidden down there? ” She tossed her hair back, “ See what _Barbie_ can do? Ultra Magnus will be so proud, he’s lucky to have a partner like me you know.”

A shadow fell over her.

“ Am I?”

Amanda jumped at the sudden voice, stumbling into the stream with a splash. The water sloshed around her waist as she frowned at the Autobot looking down at her. The little frog was gone, leaving her with one _very amused_ Ultra Magnus.

“ Wait-“ Amanda swiped her hair back, “ You’re smiling !”

His expression fell into an unamused stare. “ And you’re wet.”

Amanda stood, hanging her head in defeat. “ I am.”

She was now soaked from the waist down, any chance in recovering her flats was now washed away – considering that they’re now _drenched_. Ultra Magnus knelt, pushing the pebbles away to unravel more crystals. “Did you touch the Energon?”

“No, why – is it dangerous?” She gasped, “Is it _radioactive_?”

There it was again, he was struggling to hold back his delight, and Amanda could use a slap to her face because there’s no way Ultra Magnus _smiles_.

“ It can be harmful to humans if made contact, as for exposure, I believe was not prolonged enough to lead to any serious damage.” He placed his scanner above it, the machine whirring incessantly, “The rest needs to be mined.”

“ How do we do that?”

He looked around, “ We call for backup.”

* * *

Energon Mining requires a lot of effort, for starters, to extract it from the ground, you'll need an Energon Drill. Something the Autobots don't currently have.

Luckily, it wasn't too deep underground that it requires one. In under two hours, Bumblebee and Arcee have managed to unearth it. They were now carrying the crates back to Ratchet, so he could process it through an Energon Harvester.

" Raw Energon is naturally shaped like crystals," Ultra Magnus explained, "To make it safe for consumption, we must convert it to liquid."

She sat above a dry boulder, watching the scene from the riverbanks. The wind was picking up, causing grey clouds to cluster above them. Her clothes have started to dry, leaving only a light chill above her skin.

Ultra Magnus made his way to her, crushing the gravel beneath him - reminding her once again of his size. 

" Did you find anything else?" Amanda asked.

" Yes, several deposits have been detected East from here." Amanda stood, getting ready to walk when he stopped her - " Bulkhead and Smokescreen are there right now, there is no need for us to go."

" Oh," She sat back down, " Should we go back to base?"

He seemed to consider her suggestion.

" If that is what you want."

' What you want.' Those words sounded so foreign in her ears, coming from Ultra Magnus. He wasn't giving her an order, he was giving her a choice - not out of protocol or out of regulation, but simply out of what she wants.

Amanda beamed at him, " Then I'd like to stay."

He made a move to leave, but she reached out, " With you, silly! I mean, I could use the company - if you're not in a hurry that is."

She quietly added, " You also said we should stick together."

In a few moments he lowered himself next to her, and they were left to watch the water ripple under the wind rolling down the mountains. They swept her jacket back, tangling their fingers in her hair. No one said anything, they were just bathing in the comfort of silence.

" Are you well?"

Amanda lifted her head, he was watching her with an expression she couldn't pinpoint. " I am, I'm just thinking."

" You are affected by what Miko has said."

Amanda flinched, " Not really, well, maybe a bit."

" I believe she called you _Barbie_ , was that an insulting term?"

Amanda laughed, " It's complicated. Barbie is a doll's name, a popular toy for children to play with."

He observes the sky, " Did it hold any derogatory meaning behind it?"

Amanda sighed, knowing that there was no way in dodging this, " No. I know when Miko said it , she didn’t mean anything. I don't blame her for not trusting me, and you shouldn't too. She's a teenager and teenagers can get jealous . It's normal, I shouldn't feel upset."

She bit her lip, " But I am. Because usually, when people call me Barbie, they’re calling me -"

Amanda struggled with the words, " In simpler terms, they’re calling me two-dimensional, implying that I'm just a pretty face. People have underestimated me because they think feminine women are incompetent. It’s this really sexist stereotype and I know Miko didn’t mean it that way, but I just can’t help but wonder – if team prime sees me that way, if you see me that way.”

The rumbling grew louder in the distance, echoing throughout the valley, “I’ve stopped caring about what people think of me a long time ago, but sometimes it just catches up to me. I know my worth, other people’s opinions don’t really matter. But some clarity would be nice.”

Amanda regrets it immediately.

“ It’s – It’s not a big deal, it doesn’t matter and it’s not something I should get caught up with.”

“ You are worth more than your beauty.”

Amanda froze. He regarded her with a certain kind of tenacity in his face, one he had never given her before. “ You are a valuable team member. Your contribution has greatly helped us and it has the ability to give us the advantage we need to turn the tide on this war, do not let anyone or anything let you think otherwise.”

There it was. The clarity she needed and it came from Ultra Magnus. He didn’t brush away her worries or regarded her coldly, instead, he almost seemed – _worried_ , concerned about her. She couldn’t help but blink back a few tears, “You mean that?”

He nodded, holding out his hand “ I don’t lie.”

She sniffed, “ I can walk on my own you know.”

“ I am aware you are capable. Yet, the water is rising, I do not want you to be swept away.”

Amanda looked at it warily, the idea of being so high up in the air didn’t sit right with her. But Ultra Magnus was asking her to trust him, the same way she wants him to trust her. With one last look into his eyes, she stepped forward, clutching onto the side of his thumb. She climbed onto his shoulder, gripping on his shoulder pad.

She relaxed, trying to even out her breathing until he started moving. Amanda yelped, clinging onto it tighter.

“ Amanda, you won’t fall.” She nodded vigorously, trying to look at anywhere but down, “ I know, I know. I’m just, I’m just worried.”

“ If you were to lose your grip, I will catch you.”

“ Promise?”

He started walking, “ Promise.”

They were halfway through the stream when Amanda relaxed. The clouds finally gave up on the weight, and parted to release a mild drizzle across the terrain. Amanda chuckled, leaning closer into his shoulder pad in search of shelter.

He stopped, turning to look at her. For a split second, she was pulled into his orbit – the same way magnets would reach out to one another. There no longer was a mask across his expression, he simply looked at ease, the tension in his face melting away to make way for a smile.

She didn’t notice the flash of yellow above, followed by the thunder cackling. The noise broke the spell - sending Amanda into a scream. She wrapped both arms around his shoulder pad, and once the noise died down, she could hear something akin to a laugh coming out of Ultra Magnus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don’t worry, I actually love Miko and am looking forward to make Amanda and her bond - I think Miko is a really profound character that I’d like to explore more about. Anyways, tell me what you guys think <3


	7. it’s hard to feel scared when i’m with you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello ! Thank you for the positive feedback and kudos, I'm glad you all enjoyed this fic so far ! I apologize in advanced if updates are getting too long to wait, but hopefully I'll be more religious when it comes to future ones !  
> I hope everyone is doing well <3

The shield in her hands was relatively large in size, spanning across the length of her arms. Yet, it barely covers any of the Autobots’ faceplates, proving it to be useless in battle. Amanda cataloged the carvings across the gold-encrusted plating, sketching it onto a piece of paper with one hand.

“ Don’t tell me that’s made out of real gold.”

Amanda smiled at the bag of ready packed meals the nurse held. They met a week after her arrival since for the first time in a while, June Darby had a free schedule, opting to use it to drop by and see her son. Miko was less than thrilled to have them both at the base, but Amanda revels in the female company. After that, they seem to get along easily – sharing stories, swapping tips, and having lunch. With the extra security Fowler had for her, Amanda wasn’t allowed to reply to any friendly calls, texts, or emails. With June around, it was a nice change of pace to be able to talk to someone, everyone knows Fowler isn’t one for discussing brunch menus and magazine tabloids.

“ Unfortunately for us, no.” She put the shield aside, accepting the well-needed break. Thanks to the Wednesday morning, they get to move to the couch. Amanda noted how quiet the base was without the children, but if anyone seems to be soaking it in, it would be Ratchet. The old medic took advantage of the silence, seemingly more engrossed in his work than usual.

“ Fortunately for the Romans, that’s a good thing.” She showed June her notes, “ A Roman soldier's shield - or _'scutum'_ – is rectangular and curved to fit and protect the body down to the knees. This one is no different, it’s made of lightweight wood, covered with leather, and held together with metal. However, the metal is Cybertronian – surprisingly light. Making it easy to pick up, throw, or abandon when things go south."

June hummed in agreement, “ It would make sense, gold is too heavy to carry in battle. It’s also a waste, considering that it’ll just make it easier for enemies to loot the roman empire.”

Amanda laughed at that. “ As if Rome needed another economic recession.”

“ How’d you know it’s roman?”

Amanda pointed at the crest in the middle, “ The eagle was a prominent symbol used in ancient Rome, especially as the standard of a Roman legion. However, this would usually be accompanied by ‘ _SPQR’_ , an abbreviation for _Senātus Populusque Rōmānus_ , which refers to the government of the ancient Roman Republic.”

June squinted, “There isn’t any.”

“Which means whoever had this shield didn’t serve under the Roman empire. If not a soldier, then it must belong to a gladiator.”

“ Gladiator?”

Both women turned to Ratchet, and before Amanda could call him out on eavesdropping, Ratchet let out a grunt, “ I didn’t know you humans had gladiators.”

“In this era? _God no_. The bloodsport’s been outlawed for centuries.” Amanda laughed, “I doubt anyone has a taste for it anyways. Did Cybertron have gladiators?”

The old mech sighed, muttering things to himself, “One of the less reputable aspects of Cybertron before the Great War was the fact gladiatorial combat was one of the most popular sports.”

June’s eyes widened, “That’s terrible! It was allowed?”

“It was more than legal, nurse Darby,” Ratchet scoffed, “ It was celebrated. It was hardly justifiable, considering that we are an advanced civilization, at least – we _were_. The gladiatorial games emerged in Kaon and Slaughter City, the low caste areas where workers sought a distraction from the drudgery of their lives. Knowledge of this reached Iacon, but the up-top government officials tended to turn blind optics to the bloodsport.”

Amanda recounted the cities mentioned – Iacon and Kaon were one of the major cities in Cybertron. Iacon was the capital that once served as an Autobot-controlled city-state at the north pole of the planet. Whereas Kaon was a Decepticon-controlled city-state in Cybertron, their capital city during the Great War.

_“ Built on a plateau three times the size of Iacon, Kaon was the industrial heart of Cybertron, where nameless members of the low castes toiled endlessly.”_ Arcee had explained, _“ It was a dark, smoking mess of a city that was impossible to navigate without the Communication Grid.”_

“ They should have paid better attention,” Ratchet added, resentment and guilt seeping into his voice, “For it was within the pits of Kaon did Megatron first arose... and found many similarly-minded individuals to claim as his followers.”

The last statement left a somber tone hanging in the air, one that Amanda couldn’t help but sympathize with. Granted, Cybertron’s civil war was born out of a vision to abolish the unequal treatment between social classes, but instead, it became a radicalized Marxist prophecy that crippled an entire planet. Families, friends, lives were torn into factions – every Cybertronian on Earth, whether Autobot or Decepticon, are both refugees and criminals of war.

“Megatron used to be a gladiator?” June leaned forward, “What’s the story behind that?”

Amanda wouldn’t be surprised if Ratchet had refused to answer, albeit no one likes to recall past lives – Ratchet was no exception. He wasn’t exactly the type to sit down and swap personal stories with you. Yet, as always, when it comes to June, Ratchet finds himself hesitating – no, _considering_ offers. Amanda wasn’t surprised to see him give in.

“Megatron called for an end to Cybertron's decrepit caste system and told the downtrodden that freedom of self-determination was the right of all sentient beings.” Ratchet explained, “But absolute power corrupts absolutely, and Megatron's Decepticon revolution, like many such movements, ended up becoming a whole new tyranny. He was too full of rage, driven with ambition and blinded with fanatic beliefs - Megatron brought Cybertron past the brink of destruction.”

“Spartacus.” Amanda murmured under her breath, out of June’s reach but not Ratchet’s audial receptors.

“Who?”

“Spartacus was a slave - one of the millions taken from territories conquered by Rome to work the mines, till the fields or fight for a crowd’s entertainment. Imprisoned as a gladiator for deserting the Roman Army, he and other slaves fought their way free and started a rebellion. He made one of the world’s most powerful empires tremble, his story became a classic epic that depicts roman authority, oppression, and cruelty.” Amanda rubbed her chin, “Admittedly, not the best choice for comparison – but they both started on the same path. One just chooses to stray away from what he was fighting for in the first place.”

He made no move to comment, seemingly eager to steer away from the conversation. Amanda reached for her papers, gesturing Ratchet to come closer. She didn’t want to use June as some kind of talisman, but whenever the woman is around – Ratchet seemed to be less grumpy than usual. Amanda might as well take advantage of it.

“ These are human symbols,” She circled the top part of the sketch with her fingers, “ But these, the one in the bottom, are thought to be gibberish. Historians claimed they were simply charms to keep away superstitions, thought to be carved by gypsies when the carriage was looted on its way across Europe in the 1800s. We both know they’re cybertronian. What does it say?”

“Traditional Cybertronian,” Ratchet reminded. He narrowed his optics, scanning the paper intently, “ I have to run it through the database just to be sure.”

“Thanks Ratchet!” Amanda cheered, to which he only dismissed with a grumble.

“Any other interesting things you got in your arsenal?” June asked, nodding towards her table below.

“Aside from the rose and the shield, we have a staff – and just between the two of us, it looks wicked.” She pointed at the silver-plated staff, leaning against the corner, “I’ve just worked on it today because the kids wouldn’t get their hands off it, same goes with Smokescreen and Bumblebee. I’ve been working on it since morning. Ultra Magnus has been helping me with some translations.”

She glanced at the clock, its hands pointing to two O’clock. Half of the day was gone, and soon enough the guardians will pick up the children.

“Speaking of Ultra Magnus,” June scooted closer, leaning her head against her hand. They were both curled up now, trays nearly empty. “What’s he like?”

Amanda picked at what remains of her salad, “He’s…Ultra Magnus.” Amanda let a laugh slip out, shaking her head, “I mean, he’s nice.”

“Just nice?” June pressed.

Amanda playfully slapped her arm, rolling her eyes as Jude gave her a provocative smile. She cast a glance at Ratchet, even if he can hear what they’re talking about, he seemed to pay no mind – his back turned.

“Yes,” She firmly nodded, “Now what about you and _House MD_?”

“Don’t try to change the subject here, Amanda,” June threw a glance across her shoulder. “You’re the one eating breakfast with him every morning.”

“It’s not what you think – it's _not_ a date, it’s a coordinated outing used to boost morale between co-workers.” Amanda finished her last bite, “Ultra Magnus is my guardian. He’s professional, straight to the point and honest. He’s a nice guy – a great guy, _mech_.”

“For every dollar that comes with you calling him ‘nice’, I could afford to buy us another meal.” The usually tight creases against June’s face was smoothed out by laughter. With her jaw unhinged and a lazy grin, gone was the stern look of concern she usually gives the children.

Amanda wiped the defeated grin on her face, “W-what do you want me to say? He’s handsome?”

“ Is he?”

Amanda stared at the nurse.

If anything, June didn’t seem disturbed by the idea, her eyes only widening in playfulness. Amanda has never thought about it before. Is she _allowed_ to feel attraction towards an alien species? To say no would be xenophobic, to say yes would be – awkward. She’s flooded with thoughts she’d never entertained before, her cheeks flushed by all the questions.

Amanda was mortified, whereas the June before her was relaxed - as if she entertains the thought religiously.

A ground bridge materialized before them, the engines whirring to life – pulling Amanda out of her thoughts. Yet whispers lingered and echoed throughout her mind long after June left. They poke around her head as she flipped through the pages of her work. Amanda has to mentally slap herself to stop zoning out.

“ Amanda.”

She was shaken out of her reverie, Ultra Magnus’s voice anchoring her back to the present. She could hear gravel under his tires, the dashboard humming softly above her knees.

“ Yes?” She sputtered, clearing her throat.

“Were you listening?”

She bashfully ducked her head, “Eh, would you be mad if I said no?”

He sighed, ex-vented, he would correct her. “ We will be going for recon tomorrow, to one of your planet’s more tropical areas.”

“Oh.”She nodded dumbly.

There was silence.

“ Is something bothering you?”

Amanda blinked a few times, resisting the urge to smack herself. “ No, nothing’s bothering me. Why’d you ask?”

If she could see his face, he would be narrowing his eyes at her babbling. He would even go as far as to call her a terrible liar with the disapproving curve of his brows. Yet, he left it be. “ You’re quiet.”

“ Oh? I thought you’ve been dying for some peace and quiet when it comes to me.”

“ That’s an exaggeration.”

She combed a finger through her hair, “How was your day?”

“ The operation went smoothly. The Energon signal led us to a Decepticon mine Northwest from here. We were able to extract a fairly large amount of Energon that would last us at most, a deca-cycle. Although the lack of security leaves room for apprehension, it resulted in no casualties nor serious injuries.”

“Um,” Amanda smiled, “ That’s great to hear. Anything else?”

“ Negative.”

“ Really? Because I didn’t ask for a field report, Ultra Magnus. I asked about your day.”

“ I don’t see the difference.”

Amanda didn’t see that coming. Then again, as she looks back to their previous conversations, no matter the extent it has always been dependent on work. He would share information about Cybertron relevant to her research, never revealing anything personal. While Amanda only shares about her experiences if he asked – which was very rare.

They were supposed to be friends, but the fact that the collective information they knew about one another equaled to strangers, tugged her heartstrings.

The actress struggled to find the right words, suddenly feeling tongue-tied, “ Well, when I ask people about their day, they usually start with whether or not it was good or bad. Then they’ll share to me about what they felt – were you happy? Are you sad?”

“ You are asking me to converse to you about my personal feelings on the matter?” He asked. “ I hardly see the benefit.”

“ Yes!” Amanda clapped her hands, “It’s not about the benefit, I just want to hear about it. Also, we just clocked out for the day – meaning we’re not on formal terms anymore.”

He scoffed,“ It doesn’t matter where you are, you have never been one for formal terms.”

At first, she thought he’d reject her by turning on the radio until he made a thoughtful sound.

“ It was uneventful.” He explained slowly, “ Yet it frustrates me to see the stark differences between our arsenal and the Decepticon’s. We are heavily outnumbered, in both supplies and firepower.”

Amanda knew there was more to his sentence, but he left it at that. It was a chink in the armor he wears, one that sometimes makes people forget that he’s not just a fighter. For a brief moment, Amanda saw the mech underneath the soldier.

She placed a palm against his dashboard, “ Hey, it’s okay to get discouraged sometimes. Let’s look on the bright side, every day we come closer to decoding these relics. We will turn the tide on this war, and I’m sure we’ll end it too.”

He grunted in agreement, “ How is yours?”

“ It was good,” She leaned back, “ I spent the day studying the shield Bulkhead and Miko brought back from Vienna, along with the Staff Smokescreen and Optimus secured from Chicago. Progress is slow, but it’s progress. I also had lunch with June, she brought me a packed salad – which was better than the burrito wrap I bought yesterday.”

Amanda fell into comfortable chatter, suspecting that Ultra Magnus might have stopped listening halfway. Either way, he made no move to stop her until they pull into her driveway.

“ I advice letting nurse Darby pick your sustenance, it seems that you have poor taste when it comes to consumption.”

She snorted, hopping out of the big rig. “ Well I would if – wait, you catch all that?”

“ You are surprised that I paid attention to your talking?” He huffed.

“ A little,” She eyed him, a smile crawling to her lips. “ But thanks, I’ll make a mental note of that. June’s been here longer than me, she knows all the good places.”

She nearly tripped on the stairs, spinning to face her porch when Ultra Magnus scolded, “ Eyes on the road.”

“ Goodbye, Ultra Magnus !” She called out from her shoulder, fishing out her keys. Only when she stepped inside did he drove away, leaving her with a strange sense of loneliness.

* * *

The view before her was the gentlest hue of gold, almost earthen and muted as it serenades her. Amanda wasted no time, running out of the ground bridge to greet the beach with open arms. The sand curved under the soles of her barefoot, kissing her with its warmth as she made her way towards the shore. The cerulean waves skimmed her ankles and Amanda dissolved into a fit of laughter.

She twirled to face Ultra Magnus, a few feet away from the water. He was observing her, raising a brow to remind Amanda why they were here in the first place. Amanda smiled apologetically, not bothering to hide how thrilled she was. After drying her feet across the flat boulders, she slipped on her sandals, scouting the isolated area.

“ So, are we going to have to split?”

Magnus tapped his scanner, “ Negative. There’s no need to. The deposit is just a few feet away.”

The picnic basket beside her held a couple of cherry sodas, paired with a picnic blanket she's all too eager to spread out. Amanda pulled down her sunglasses, shielding herself from the blinding rays. Only when she was choosing her clothes in the morning did she realized that Ultra Magnus had purposely informed her of where they’re going to allow her to _dress for the occasion_. It caused her to grin into the mirror – only pulling away when he honked from below.

They walked in silence, with Amanda straying towards the water every now and then, only to be called back by Ultra Magnus. Across them was an abandoned dock, several of its wooden planks have been peeled away from its foundation, swaying against the breeze.

“ You are excited.”

Amanda nodded at Ultra Magnus, putting her hands behind her back, “ Of course. We’re in my homeland.”

Ultra Magnus stopped in his tracks.

“ My mother is from France. My father is Indonesian.” Amanda shrugged, “ Although, I was born and raised in France. This is the first time in – “ She shrugged, “ Nine years? Ten? That I finally visit. A lot of people don’t know because of his last name. Jacques. It couldn’t get any more French than that.”

Amanda played with her braid, slinging it across her shoulder. The waves were lapping lazily above the clear water, colorful corals scattered across the shallow waters.“ During the Napoleonic Wars, the Netherlands fell under the French Empire, along with its possessions in the East Indies. For a short period, between 1806 and 1811, Indonesia once belonged under French administration. His surname was the result of colonization.”

She watched his expression from the shade of her sunglasses. He knelt, offering her a hand. Once she was settled across his shoulder, he gave her his sentiments, “ I am sorry to hear that.”

“ War does nothing but take.” Amanda shrugged, “ If its any consolation, Jacques ironically means “ to trip up or to overthrow." Indonesia eventually revolted and took their independence, hence here we are.”

They reached the Energon deposit. It was hidden under the walls of a cavern, the high tide blocking the entrance below. Ultra Magnus took a big stride, trying to peer into the darkness.

" I believe this deposit will require mining. I'm contacting base for reinforcements." He lowered her down onto the sand, away from the dark waters that crawled towards the cave. Amanda sat on the boulder by his side, humming to herself.

" In the meantime," He regarded her with an expression she couldn't exactly pinpoint." You may explore."

Amanda gasped, " Really? Shouldn't we wait or do more scouting?"

He shook his head, " My scanners show that the area is cleared. Do not stray too far away."

Amanda waited for no further instruction before sprinting towards the shallow cove, afraid that he might change his mind.

* * *

Water is so rare on Cybertron that Amanda was surprised to hear that before Earth, Bulkhead didn’t know what it was.

Cybertron's surface is covered by at least a few seas, but these seas are not of water. The Rust Sea, for example, is a sea of - well, rust. There are chambers deep inside Cybertron which also run with liquid, but they’re not exactly water. Ratchet especially hates that water falls from the sky on Earth, Bumblebee, on the other hand, was highly appreciative of a planet that could double as a car wash – not that Amanda wanted to know what substituted as water in their homeworld.

Water itself is scarce – what more large bodies of water. A planet that is seventy percent made out of water sounded like a nightmare for beings who would sink before they can swim. The only upside is that they don’t need to breathe.

Although Ultra Magnus remained passive, she could see his fingers twitch every time she would wander too far into the open. She stopped the moment the water would go above her knees, always careful to pull herself away when the currents became too strong.

The sun was biting into her skin, dragging its teeth affectionately across her collarbones and down her arms. It provided a well-needed tan, one that she had been craving for. It was past high noon, the sun slanted across the cloudless firmament. She had unbuttoned the white shirt she had on, pushing the sleeves all the way to her elbows as she squatted against the stones.

A little crab waddled across the pool, squeezing itself between the ridges of multicolored corals. Amanda watched the creatures dance about, admiring the ecosystem. Just when she saw a seahorse crawl out of a cluster of seaweeds, a light tremor scared it back into hiding. Amanda spun to see Ultra Magnus a good distance away, walking towards her.

" Wait!" She held out her hands, " Stay there Ultra Magnus !" 

He stopped, immediately retracting his steps. Amanda crossed a few stones to get to him, wadding through the puddles. She caught herself from falling, resting her hands on his pede.

" If you came any closer, you would've squished the poor animals." She gestured towards the lagoon, which gleamed azure and aqua against the platinum sand.

" My apologies." He scooped her up, cradling her with both hands. The metal was warm, easing a sigh out of her. She had seen the same set of fingers crush metal and unearth steel, but against her, they were careful, almost delicate. She adjusted the straw hat on her head, prying her eyes off the little scars on the surface. Surely he could have them buffed out?

" Do they hurt?" She shyly traced a hand across one of them.

" No." His eyes rest against her, " Not anymore."

They would communicate this way, staring at one another in favor of words. She would try to guess what he was thinking, before untangling her gaze away. The water lapped below them, growing restless by the day.

" I take it the mining went well?" She peered behind him, watching as the Ground Bridge vanish from the cavern's entrance.

" We were able to secure sufficient Energon, it should last for several megacycles. However, the rest needed to be mined thoroughly, without the proper tools, it's as good as -"

" Don't," She cut off, " You did well. That was enough."

He tore himself away, resorting to watch the rise and fall of the waves in the distance. Amanda has adapted to reading his microexpressions, where others would miss the frustration in his face, she would catch it in the way his eyes would twitch. It was down to the little things, ones so easily overlooked. They move towards the coast, the tides sloshing around Ultra Magnus's pedes as they settle themselves by a nearby slab.

She pulled the picnic basket close to her, " Do you like it?"

" Elaborate."

" The weather," She popped the soda open, the fizzy drink rising to the surface and spilling down her chin. " Is it too hot ?"

She could hear the whirring of his cooling fans in the background.

" It is hotter than what I am accustomed to. Back in Iacon, every four solar cycles, the hemisphere will begin to warm significantly, but not as warm as your planet. This would would usually lead to thunderstorms."

" It rains in Cybertron?"

" Yes, but unlike your planet, it does not rain water." He leaned his back against the jutting crag, " It rains acid."

" What's the story behind that?"

" I am unsure," He admitted, " Cybertron had an Energon-based fuel economy. From what I understand, Energon is close enough in properties to baseline Earth hydrocarbon fuels. This would lead to air pollution." Amanda's brow furrowed.

" However, it is not as corrosive as one might think."

She nodded, feeling relieved that one won't die from a little rain in Cybertron. It left her to imagine Cybertron as a fairly smoggy place, maybe pollution is a universally accepted problem.

She put her can aside, rummaging through the basket. " You should have a drink too."

" I'm incapable of consuming your native beverage." The confusion in his voice was evident, so she felt a triumph smile creep up on her when she showed him the Energon cube in her hands.

It was big , nearly taking up the space of the entire basket.

" If you're worried about the exposure, I asked Ratchet already if it was fine. He said now that it's liquified and sealed in the container, it should be good for me to hold." She held out the gleaming cube to him. " Well?"

If she had a camera, Amanda would have snapped a picture of his expression. His surprise was evident in the way his eyes widened, his mouth slightly parted. Warmth bloomed across her cheeks. " Ultra Magnus? It's kinda heavy."

He relieved her of the weight, her arms wobbling. He regarded her thoughtfully, " Thank you, Amanda."

There was something in the way he said her name - if she had allowed her mind to drift away, she would have gone as far to say it sounded breathless. But this was Ultra Magnus, surely there's another explanation as to why he was looking at her with ease in his eyes.

" Cheers?" She offered.

Her heart leaped when he indulged, clinking his container lightly against the can. All of a sudden she could hear June in the back of her mind and Amanda shoved the woman away, tipping the can until it was empty.

Behind them, the cliff face rises sharply, graphite in the summer sun. Lacy waves mimicked the lazy drumbeat of her heart, the breeze blowing the tension right out of Amanda’s bones. She fluttered her eyes shut, raising her head onto the sun. When she opened them, her peripheral vision caught Ultra Magnus watching her.

Amanda tried to not notice, looking straight ahead.

“ Your optics.”

Amanda skimmed her fingers across her eyes, “ My eyes?”

“ They’re - ” He paused, “ They change color.”

Noting the absence of her contact lenses, Amanda realized that he was probably not used to seeing her eyes bare of any blue. Although it was true that when they first met, she didn’t have her contacts yet. But now, after all they’ve been though –

“ I didn’t want to wear them today. They hurt my eyes.”

The cheap lenses she got from that drug store really did horrible things to her eyes, not only do they dry out easily, but it also tires her out. In the end, she assumed no one would notice if she had suddenly neglected to use them.

Ultra Magnus's eyes were electric blue, powered by the Energon that flowed through his wires. No irises, no cornea, no pupils; every inch of him was extraterrestrial.

_" What do you want me to say ? He's handsome ?"_

“ It was supposed to be part of the disguise, but who am I kidding?” Amanda chuckled, “ It’s not like anyone would really pay attention. The glasses are enough, don’t you think?”

She didn’t know what had compelled her to indirectly ask him if he liked her better without it. Ultra Magnus probably couldn’t care less, it’s insignificant and trivial for him to-

“ If the lenses are hurting you, you may opt to not use them.” He replied, “ You remain presentable without it.”

“ Thanks.” She nodded, a little breathless.

After a few more moments of silence and the occasional chatter, it was time for them to return. She was collecting her accessories when he asked.

“ Your designation.” She paused, looking up.

“ You explained that it has meaning behind it.”

“ Oh, well – yes. Here on Earth, names have meanings.” He lifted her up to his shoulder, “ Like any word in the dictionary, a person's name has meaning. Surnames represent your family name. It’s the name that you share with your parents, siblings, or next of kin. Usually, when a woman gets married, she will take on her husband’s name. But that’s an outdated belief, in my family, we have conjoined names. Laurent-Jacques.”

“ I see.”

“ Do you have family names, in Cybertron?”

“ I believe Family is an Earth term. However, when referring to descendants of a common ancestor, or split sparks – it is plausible. In Cybertron, we are brought to life individually from the well-of-all sparks. Those born out of one spark split into two may call themselves twin brothers. That is the closest thing we have to blood relations. In terms of family – “ He trailed off, “ We have Sires. Sires are similar to what you refer to as fathers. Although not biologically related, they are the ones who take us under their wing.”

“ Oh, so an adoptive parent of sorts?” Amanda asked.

“ You can say that.”

The shore was a graceful arc of sand, glittering under the summer sun, a place for a placid ocean to lap. The waves rolled in with a soothing sound. The giant footprints Ultra Magnus left behind were soon erased, dragged back into the blue.

“ Your primary designation, Amanda.” He asked, “ Does it have meaning?”

At his curiosity she let out a delighted grin, “ It does.”

“ Amanda is Latin for ‘ _worthy of love_ ’.”

After a while, their eyes locked, and like two opposite sides of a magnetic pole, they graze one another – skimming the surface, before breaking.

" You want to know a secret?"

He regarded her seriously, " Only if you are inclined to share." 

" I don't actually know how to swim that well."

" You showed no signs of concern during our last recon."

Amanda thought back to the shallow streams," I knew the water won't run so deep there."

" Then why did you go out so far into the open?" Amanda winced at his scolding, " Are you not afraid the tide will pull you under?"

" Surprisingly no. Because you're here, and when you're with me, it's hard to feel scared."

She blames the admission on the steady hum of her heartbeat, on the languid breeze rolling down the north, on the fact that she was leaning a little too close to his cheek - only less than an arm's length away.

 _This is relaxing_ , Ultra Magnus's mouth quirked upwards - _yeah, she can get used to this_.

They spent the rest of the walk in silence, content after their day under the sun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if this chapter is kinda boring ;,( it's to make up for the next one because that’s when the action ( Miko and Amanda bonding) happens, so stay tuned ! Also, don't hesitate to tell me what you guys think of the story so far <3


	8. freaky friday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello ! I hope everyone is doing well <3 This chapter is more to a slice of life within team prime, I did put team bonding and family bonding in the tags - starring Miko and Amanda ! I really loved Miko's character in the show, I mean the character development is just wow - I wanted to explore more of her character. Hence, enjoy this light-hearted chapter :))
> 
> Also an additional meme my friend is currently holding me at gun point to add, in reference to the beach chapter:
> 
> Ultra Magnus, looking out at sea: I like the view  
> Amanda : You do ?  
> Ultra Magnus : Yes  
> Amanda : You're my best view  
> Ultra Magnus : eH

“ Miko, how many times do I have to tell you to be careful?” Amanda grimaced, taking the staff off the girl’s grip. It doesn’t matter how good she has hidden it, Miko will always find a way to rummage through her things. She knew Miko was just curious, but it was starting to irritate her – especially with how she seems to regard the relic as a toy instead of a hundred-year-old artifact.

“ Calm down _Regina George_ ,” Miko rolled her eyes, “ Didn’t Ratchet’s scanners say it’s made out of Cybertronian metal?”

“ It is, but we can never be too careful.” She showed the younger girl the staff, “ You see these marks. It’s rust – it’s the result of oxygen corrosion. The rose was perfectly preserved because it was sealed in airlock. One wrong move and you might break this one !”

“ I appreciate the science lesson, I know, I’m a chemistry student.” She reached out for it once more, “Which is why I should get to play with it! ”

She grabbed the staff, to which Amanda replied with a tug, “ That’s a hardly reasonable explanation !”

The two of them tugged back and forth, Amanda was struggling to not snap – she had tolerated the usual meddling of her papers and notes, the girl had once doodled on them, but this was out of hand.

“ Oh c’mon! Let me look at it for a minute, I’ll have it back in one piece !”

“ Miko, listen to me –“ Her warning was cut short when the staff hissed, clicking into place. Both of them stopped, peering down at the staff they held.

It whirred, the pristine carvings sliding against one another to expand in length.

“ What’s going on?” Miko asked, her voice wavering. The girl made a move to remove her hand, but it was too late. The staff let out a burst of electricity – sending both women across the floor. The sound of them skidding against the concrete alerted the base.

Amanda cradled her forehead, having bumped into the side of a chair. When no blood oozed its way across her fingers, she gritted her teeth, standing up to march to the girl.

“ I told you not to mess with it, Miko! It could’ve done more damage, what were you thinking? Why is it so difficult for you to understand? You don’t have to like me, all you need to do is just listen to me !” Amanda huffed, “ You could have endangered yourself, you could have endangered everyone else !”

“ Amanda.”

“ No ! You listen to me, I’m not yet done. I understand if you want to help me, I know you dropping by and messing with my things is just your way of offering help. Maybe you’re too shy to admit that you’re curious, and that’s okay – but what’s not okay is for you to do whatever you feel like –“

“ Amanda.”

“ I’m not yet done! Who knows what the staff could have done, it could have been a weapon, it could have shoot lasers at us or incinerate us on spot! It could have even acted as a bomb for all we know.”

“ I think I know what it does.”

Amanda faltered, the phrase pulling her anger by the reigns. Only then did she manage to look at the girl properly. Except she wasn’t looking at Miko.

She was looking at herself.

“ What,” Amanda breathed out, taking a step back, “ What-What’s going on?”

The Autobots behind her – at least her _body_ , all stared back at her. They made no move to conceal their surprise, even Ultra Magnus had a look of confusion plastered across his face. She could feel her palms grow sweaty, hell, she was sweaty _everywhere_. In a mixture of shock and embarrassment, Amanda looked down at herself, examining her hands and clothing.

_Oh no._

Her hands flew across her body, “ No, no, no, no – why am I, Miko why am I _you_?”

“ You tell me !” The girl screamed, her voice shrilled and _very much_ Amanda’s. “ Why am I in your body?”

“ You’re in my body! What, the staff, _oh no_ Miko, the staff !”

The pole lay pathetically across the ground and Amanda could’ve sworn the silver plating was smirking at their misfortune. They stared at each other, creeping closer. Amanda reached out to touch herself – _oh God that sounded wrong_. She hovered her hand on the side of her cheek, reaching out to Miko.

Her heart was pounding.

Miko did the same, grimacing at the sight of their predicament. Only when they held one another did the reality of it all hit them like a truck, sending both women into a scream.

“ This is bad,” Miko paced, looking at herself in the mirror, “ We are so _fucking_ screwed !”

Amanda watched the girl spiral into panic, which didn’t serve as any form of comfort considering that Miko has been doing this for half an hour. Amanda looked at the Autobots in defeat, slumping across the wall with her hands buried in her hair.

“ This must be some kind of dream.”

“ I wish !” Miko erupted, “ I can’t go around looking like this.”

Amanda wrinkled her nose, “ What’s that supposed to mean? I’m the one stuck inside a fourteen-year-old’s body !”

“ I’m fifteen !”

“ Let's calm down for a minute,” Jack interrupted. He stepped forward, everyone else behind him was either unsure or on the brink of laughter. Amanda caught Smokescreen placing a hand on his mouth, nearly doubling over if it wasn’t for Ultra Magnus’s reprimanding stare.

“ Do you know why the staff won’t work the second time ?” Jack offered, but Amanda shook her head, gesturing to the unmoving stick on the floor. “ Trust me, if it works, we would’ve ended this nightmare sooner.”

“ But,” She continued, “ At least it couldn’t get any worse.”

Miko wouldn’t stop looking at herself in the mirror, her expressions shifting every now and then. She turned to the pair, “I’m blonde! Not even a legal one !”

“ Hey! ,” Amanda scowled at the slander, “ I know we’re all not excited about this, but we have to adapt until we finally find a way to switch us back.”

“ Ms.Laurent is right,” Optimus spoke. At his voice, everyone’s attention was onto their leader, seeking guidance. Even Miko looked desperate, wrapping her arms around herself. “Although I am unsure of the relic in question, I hardly believe its effects are permanent.”

“ But what if it is?” Miko stammered, “What if I’ll be stuck in your body forever? I don’t want to spend the rest of my life looking like this!”

Under the insults, Amanda could hear the girl’s fear and she couldn’t bring herself to blame her. Amanda was petrified, but she did a better job hiding it, not wanting to add fuel to the fire. She glanced at herself in the mirror, albeit the style was out of her comfort zone – combat boots and pigtails weren’t really her thing. The same must go for Miko, who was horrified at the polka dot hem-wrap skirt around her thighs.

“ My host parents !” Miko gasped and Amanda stilled, watching as the phone in her pocket buzz. She shot Jack a horrified look, who passed it on to Raf.

“ D-Don’t answer it!” Raf stuttered.

“ Ignoring it twice or thrice is fine, but the fourth time – oh they’ll call the cops on me !” Amanda shot Miko a look, the girl shrugged off the fact that her host parents have placed a search warrant on her before, striding to her. “ Answer it.”

“ W-what would I even say ?” Amanda looked at Bulkhead for help, knowing the mech was her guardian – but if anything, he seemed to be just as lost as the two of them.

“ Put it on high volume, so we can all hear it.”

Amanda pulled out the bright pink flip phone, sucking in a breath before flipping it open. The whole room stilled.

“ Hello?”

“ Oh thank goodness, Miko we thought something had happened to you.” The voice on the other line sighed in relief, “ We were just calling to remind you that dinner is ready! John and I made meatballs for dinner !”

The woman sounded welcoming, genuine – everything that shouldn’t ear an eye roll from Miko. Amanda opened her mouth, “ O-Oh, thank you.”

The voice stalled, seemingly surprised by the reply. Miko sucked in a deep breath, face-palming before gesturing for Amanda to continue, “ I’ll be home by – “ Miko shook her hands, “ Uh, by eight?”

“ Eight ?” Her host mother asked, “ That’s earlier than usual – but don’t worry! That’s great, John, she’ll be home by eight. Okay, we’ll wait for you and then we can eat together. I’ll go set up the table now, hope you’re alright. Bye, love you !”

“ Er, bye mom, love you.”

A gasp erupted from the other line, “ You hear that John? She said –“

Miko snatched the phone away, closing the call, “ Ugh, why did you say that ?”

“ What – I just said I love you back ?” Amanda looked around, confused. Miko’s embarrassment was evident, her posture slouching as her eyes drifted away, “ Well you shouldn’t have.”

“ They sounded really worried about you, Miko,” Amanda placed a firm hand on the girl’s shoulder, “ They were genuine, they really mean it. I don’t see what’s the big deal.”

“ They’re not my parents – ugh look, the point is,” She huffed, “ You don’t know me.”

Amanda recoiled, “ You don’t know me either. So if you want this to go smoothly, we have to learn to know one another – because for the next few days we might have to act like it.”

The rest of the Autobots regarded them in silence – they were walking around eggshells, trying their best not to worsens the tension between them. Miko seemed to be a brink away from breaking down, and although she refuses to show it from the stubborn way she hides her eyes away from everyone else, Amanda could see the tears brimming around them.

“ Fine,” Miko relented, “ Should be easy for you, shouldn’t it? You’re an actress.”

“ An actress who doesn’t know anything about the role she’s supposed to play.” Amanda reached out for her once more, only to be met with a cold glare. She put her hand down,“ We have two hours before you’ll have to come home for dinner – I mean, where _I’ll_ have to come home for dinner. That’s more than enough time for you to help me.”

“ And what should I do?”

“ You’ll just have to learn how to sleep in my place,” Amanda glance at Ultra Magnus, “ Optimus, what about Ultra Magnus and Bulkhead ?”

“ Does that mean that Ultra Magnus is my guardian from now on ?” Miko shuddered, shooting the commander a petrified look.

“ In the meantime, it would be wise if Bulkhead was the one to drive you home, Ms.Laurent.” Optimus suggested, “ It would seem less conspicuous, considering that this has been Miko’s daily routine.”

“ Wait, but tomorrow’s Friday,” Jack reminded, “ Miko, er, Amanda would have to go to school.”

“ Can’t I call in sick?”

“ As wonderful as that sounds, you can’t,” Miko frowned, “ I have to do a makeup test for my English and History quiz – hey, wait a second, you can totally ace them for me !”

The actress deflated, “ Great.”

They were nearing eight, and by then Miko had already started to calm down. Amanda hoped this would serve as a reminder to the girl on why she shouldn’t tamper with alien technology. She couldn’t tell whether it was some sick cosmic joke that she’s now inside a teenager’s body – already feeling herself grow nervous for no apparent reason. _Are all teenagers this anxious?_

Miko on the other hand was starting to grow on the look – although she would rather give up listening to death metal for a week before admitting that aloud. Amanda could catch it in the way she would stare at herself in the mirror, or in the way, she would not so subtly brag about it to Bulkhead – “ I’m taller now Bulk !”

Ultra Magnus was behind Amanda, offering her what she could only assume, was his best way of comforting her without having to break character.

“ Hey, Amanda.”

Amanda hummed in reply, feeling exhausted as she watched the girl deviously grin at her.

Miko’s hands flew up to her chest, “ At least nothing’s changed upstairs.”

That was enough to pull Amanda out of the couch, causing the pair to erupt in a fit of screaming and Miko’s part, laughter.

* * *

Dinner was surprisingly tame, after pushing aside the awkwardness, Amanda tried her best to remain polite without giving away their secret. Miko’s host parents reminded her too much of the suburban couple she used to live next door to back in France.

Julia worked as a secretary for the paper making company downtown, she loves collecting postcards and listening to cooking podcasts. John was an accountant who talks like a cop from a bad 80s film, he loves to crack terrible jokes and is a massive Yankees fan who had never been to The Big Apple. They own one purebred Golden and a steady paycheck, living inside a typical white picket fenced American home.

Amanda could see why the girl's an adrenaline junkie, her life here was nothing short of a holiday postcard. It was almost too predictable, the kind of ordinary Miko wanted to run away from Japan. She briefly wondered how the girl was fairing with Ultra Magnus as she peered out the window to give Bulkhead - who was parked by the fence of the backyard, the 'all clear signal', waving at him as he drove back to base.

The big mech had pierced their silent ride with an apology, explaining how Miko was a nice girl. Amanda couldn't help but feel guilty.

" She's just a kid, Bulkhead," Amanda whispered, " I don't blame her, well even if this was technically her fault, I don't blame her for half the trouble she gets herself into. Children are like that, that's why they're children."

" Heh, I'm glad you understand." Bulkhead confessed, " Not a lot of people know her like I do."

Amanda was more concerned than curious as she sifted through the girl's surprisingly neat wardrobe. Does she have a lot of friends, surely she can't always spend her time with Bulkhead, Jack and Raf? Amanda received her answer when a boy with a black eye flipped her off in the hallway. The fact that she has detention with him today needs no further explanation, and Amanda was suddenly reminded that not everyone had a nice time in high school.

As much as Amanda was glad to hear that Miko get along well with her female classmates, she was disappointed to see that they're not close enough to call one another friends. Her lab partner made no comment on the change of attitude, seemingly content with Miko's new chatty personality. The redhead helped her get through chemistry class and before she knew it the last bell had rung.

Amanda was told to wait by the entrance for Smokescreen to pick her and Raf up. Jack had left earlier with Arcee, deciding that he's been skipping his shifts too often these days.

She spotted the twelve-year-old - twelve and a quarter, he would insist, already sitting by the staircase, but her eyes narrowed at the teenager before him.

" How pathetic does Jack have to be to hang around with ten-year-olds?" The teenager taunted. " Is he really that lonely?"

" I'm twelve and a quarter, Vince" Raf replied, trying his best to scoot away from prying eyes. The fact that no one interrupted him made her eye twitch. Amanda found herself moving out of her own will.

" Knock it out," She warned, putting herself between Raf and Vince. Vince's lips curled in defense.

" What are you going to do about it _chink_ ?" Amanda stiffened at the slur, taking everything in her willpower from speaking out because the principal has just walked out of the door, observing the spectacle from afar. Raf was tugging at her arm, gesturing at Smokescreen - who was waiting by the driveway.

" Aren't you going to fight me ?" Vince shouted after her, but Amanda continued to walk until they're in the car, driving away from the crowd.

" Why didn't you fight him !" Miko groaned, sulking against the driver's seat. " Hands, keep them on the wheel," Amanda warned, making sure no one caught that.

" Who was that jerk ?" Smokescreen asked and everyone could hear the frown in his voice. " Just some bully," Raf sighed.

" He insulted you! And technically he insulted me too! "

" Miko it's not worth it," Raf whispered from the backseat, clearly uncomfortable.

" I looked like a coward back there! Are you really going to let him get away with that ?"

" No."

" Why - wait, what?" Amanda adjusted the rearview mirror, applying her lip balm. She mentally praised Miko for her choice of wardrobe today. Amanda had feared the girl would choose something she wouldn’t be caught dead in, thankfully Miko still had some mercy for her. She had chosen a set of navy cargo pants – ones Amanda had gotten during her obsessive ‘ _Destiny’s Child_ ’ phase, paired with a sleeveless top. The red bandana atop her head suggesting that Miko had fun diving inside her wardrobe this morning.

" Are you suggesting we," Raf squeaked, " Get him back?"

Miko remained frozen, staring at her, unblinking. " That's- that's not what I expected."

" Why not?"

The girl shrugged, " It's not something Ultra Magnus would do."

Amanda rolled her eyes," Miko, do I look like Ultra Magnus? Besides, I know what's it like to be harassed like that. "

The look Miko gave her was something akin to pity, only then did Miko realized that this was an issue both girls are unfortunately all too well acquainted with. Amanda thought back to when she was in high school. Although she got along with nearly everyone and had wonderful friends, there would always be people who'd force her to speak French whenever she's talking to her father, there'll always be people who'll complain about her when she rides the subways home and there'll always be people who'll try to use her identity against her.

The fact that Miko had to go through the same thing with some mediocre asshole made her blood boil. 

" What's going on? " Smokescreen gasped, " Are we going to teach him a lesson?" Miko cracked her knuckles, " When do we start?"

" No," Amanda raised a finger, " Not like that. We do it _my_ way."

" Ugh, and what's that, manicure him to death?" Amanda ignored the quip.

" I don't think this is a good idea," Raf whispered, " Miko you've already been in so much trouble, the next one will be suspension for sure!"

" We're not going to break any rules, Raf," Amanda assured, " We're also not going to physically hurt him either.”

" So what are we going to do ?"

Amanda smirked, smoothing a hand down the dark plaid skirt Miko had left to collect dust in the back of her wardrobe. The girl didn’t seem to mind, especially when Amanda had decided to pair it with her favorite _Metallica_ shirt.

" Trust me, after this, he won't _ever_ bully anyone else."

* * *

If there’s anything Amanda learned in high school is that other girls are your strongest ally. The idea that women couldn’t get along simply because they’re women is a misogynistic lie, it’s patriarchal propaganda that has led to a lot of teenagers thinking that they can’t be friends. In the end, when things go south, the only people you can rely on are your sisters. This was no exception.

Thanks to her lab partner, who Miko revealed to be the cheer captain, Amanda was able to ask several of the girls around Jasper High for help. It didn't take them long to hit the mother load.

“ No way,” Jack whispered, tapping furiously against the keyboard. His surprise had attracted a few optics, who shoot him curious glances. “ This can’t be happening.”

“ Jack?” Arcee walked over to her liaison, trying to look over his shoulder. Jack’s grin widened, “ Where’s Miko ?”

Now worried, Optimus walked over to the boy, “ Is something the matter, Jackson?”

He shook his head, “ N-no, quite the opposite actually! I can’t believe this happened.”

“ Mind sharing?” Arcee crossed her arms.

Just then the screeching of tires entered the base. Two girls stepped out of the vehicle, their laughter booming throughout the area. That was enough to make even their medic turn around, followed by the team's second in command. Amanda had her hand around Miko’s shoulders as they threw their head back with glee, the older woman wiping a few tears away from her eyes.

“ Miko, did you do that?” Jack muffled his laughter, trying to contain his humor.

“ _We_ did !” Miko howled, “ Oh, Jack you should have been there! It’s _gold_.”

Even Smokescreen was nearly doubled over, his fans nearly roaring at how amused he was – earning several stares from his teammates. Ratchet recoiled at the music blaring from Smokescreen's speakers, sharing a look with Ultra Magnus.

The young mech stopped the music, but the girls remained dancing. Jack had to wipe his eyes at the sight of his friend lightly swaying her hips to anything but hard metal. Miko continued to hum the pop tune, swinging with Amanda

Once the three stopped laughing, Jack cleared his throat, “ I think Miko and Amanda should explain why I thought Vince was going to get _murdered_ by Sierra ?”

“ Okay,” Miko started, not missing the way Arcee is looking at her, “ After some digging, we find that the jerk's been texting five different girls at the same time –“ Miko laughed, “ Didn’t know he was that desperate, anyways, we couldn’t let him go around breaking their hearts like that.”

“ No way !” Jack gasped, “ How did no one figure that out?”

“ Oh he was careful, but the one mistake Vince made aside from toying with their feelings, is underestimating the fact that we're girls.” No one could miss the way Miko’s eyes softened at Amanda, “ He thinks when they find out, they’ll go against each other instead of him – which honestly is pathetic.”

The two girls shared a high five and even Arcee was holding in her laughter. Optimus, albeit a little confused, advised the two from doing it again, even if he agreed it was cowardly for Vince to do such a thing. When Bumblebee and Bulkhead returned form Patrol, Miko wasted no time in running towards the big mech, showing her phone excitedly.

“ I have to admit,” Miko smiled shyly, “ Pretty girls rock.”

“ What are you talking about? ” Amanda shook her head, squeezing her shoulder, “You’re a pretty girl too. _We_ rock.”

Wanting to end Miko’s misery as she squirmed to find the right words, Amanda pulled her into a hug, “There’s nothing to apologize for.” Surprisingly, she returned the gesture- only to pull away quickly, coughing into her sleeves.

" Besides," Amanda gestured to her flip phone, " I think the girls are inviting you out to the movies."

Miko's phone was buzzing in her pocket, no doubt flooding with social media notifications about Vince and messages from the group chat she was just invited to. "That'll have to wait until we switch back, but for the record, I've never hung out with the girls from the cheer team before," Miko admitted, smiling softly. " Maybe they're not so bad."

“ Hey, take it from a former cheer member, they're _great_ . Also - be nice to your host parents. I know it’s not in my place, but after spending a day in your body – I think I have the right to at least say this to you,” Amanda squeezed her shoulder, “ I know what it’s like to pretend to be someone you’re not, _literally_ , it’s hard and it’s the last thing you’d want to do. You’re scared that you’ll have to do that with them. But I have a feeling they’ll be glad to listen to _Shriek Monkey_ with you _."_

A thought flittered through her head and Amanda walked to retrieve the cybertronian staff, " You know, I'm starting to think this whole _Freaky Friday_ mess is some kind of punishment for our arguing."

" Did you just make a pop culture reference ?" Miko snickered, wrapping a hand around the staff.

" Please, it's my job."

Miko shrugged, " But that doesn't mean I'll let you off easy, I still think you're a spy."

Amanda replied with a good-natured laugh. The staff reverberated, humming to life. A sudden burst of electricity shoved the two women apart, causing them to slide away from the gleaming club.

Bulkhead was right behind Miko, offering her a hand. In the distance, Ultra Magnus held out an arm - as if it impulsively reach out for his liaison, only retreating once Amanda pulled herself upwards. Absent of any bruises, Amanda laughed once she felt the familiar feel of her figure. Miko cheered with her guardian, touching her pigtails in relief.

" I feel all tingly," Miko shivered, " Let's never do that again."

" Finally, something we can agree on."

Ultra Magnus approached them. With a genuine twinkle in her eyes, Miko looked up to the commander, “ You better keep an eye for this one, sir, she’s a real _heartbreaker_.”

She skipped away, joining Jack in re-watching the video. Ratchet shook his head at the children's antics, turning to Raf as they continued their meal. In the distance, they could hear Bumblebee's chirping and Smokescreen's laughter. It flooded the base with a sense of familiarity, one Amanda welcomes.

She ignored the quizzing raise of Ultra Magnus’s eyebrows, beckoning him to pick her up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was super fun to write, I hope this isn't to cliche or corny, I'm just a sucker for girl gangs / girl bondings  
> But don't worry, the next one will be about Amanda and Magnus <3  
> Also mind you, I wrote this fic with the idea that we're in the early 2000s where flip phones were a big deal. If you guys want a more specific approximation, I'd say 2006 - 2007 ish  
> Therefore, fashion styles, music, media will more likely be referenced from movies around this time.
> 
> P.S - you can imagine any song playing from Smokescreen's speakers, but I always imagined it was either 'Obsessed' by Mariah ( skinny legend ) or ' Milkshake' by Kelis. Cue the mental image of Miko groaning at the song before giving in to dance when she saw Sierra yell at Vince like there's no tomorrow.
> 
> P.S.S - I love to think that Optimus probably calls Jack, Jackson , ever since he heard June call him that


	9. you have bewitched me, body and soul

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello ! I hope everyone is doing well <3  
> I hope you're all ready for this chapter, this time it's Amanda and Magnus centered.  
> Also make sure to check out the end notes as they're important ! Enjoy :)

The nights in Jasper were different from the mornings. After the sun starts to set, the chill would creep in, urging everyone to dress for the onslaught. In the Autobot base, the cold night gives everyone ever the more reason to draw closer to one another, hence the children huddling by the couch. The three had planned a sleepover in Jack's place, wanting to spend the weekend together. June had no problem with them staying in the base this late, as she herself will be taking over the night shifts in the hospital.

As they wait for the clock to strike midnight so June can drive them home, they decided to spend the remaining hours watching movies with their Autobot guardians. Initially, Ratchet and Optimus worried over the idea, teenagers staying past their bedtime didn’t sound healthy. It was a good thing Miko was good at talking her way out of disagreements, after some convincing, Ratchet left them be - muttering about how he can never find any peace and quiet, even if everyone knows they're more than welcomed to overdue their stay.

After that, movie nights with Team Prime has become something of a habit, especially when all Fowler and Miko does is quote movies. It’s hard not to get curious. Even Ultra Magnus, much to everyone's chagrin, expressed disappointment in not being invited to their _camaraderie building exercises_.

Although Cybertron might be renowned for its opera, movies were exceptionally rare.

To make a good impression, Amanda started with only the best Earth cinema has to offer: _Citizen Kane_ , _Casablanca_ , _Lawrence of Arabia_ , the works. Optimus and Ultra Magnus surprisingly enjoyed these Hollywood classics, she was even more delighted to hear that Ultra Magnus enjoyed _The Godfather_. He would never admit it, but he finds _Peaky Blinders_ exceptionally entertaining.

Ratchet, when he's not blowing steam out of his ears, once caught Amanda watch _Breaking Bad_ on her laptop when she should be working. Once she caught him staring, she turned on the subtitles – that’s when he relented to sit through it with her. The last time she checked, he had a thing for _Mel Brooks'_ films. A real nineties kinda guy. While Ratchet hates cowboy movies, Bumblebee is a sucker for movies like _Butch Cassidy_ and the _Sundance Kid_ , _True Grit_ , and _The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly_. He would go all out, pointing his guns at the screen during a fight, and buzzing happily throughout the film.

Arcee has a soft spot for historical dramas after June introduced her to _Atonement_. Amanda found out she knew about _The King’s Speech_ and _The Imitation Game_ , she even praised Amanda on her small role in _Little Women_. Jack advised her to be careful though, as some of those war movies hit a little too close to home. Bulkhead, even if he does enjoy some of the slasher films Miko forced him through, tends to lean more to the cinematography of a film.

Amanda was excited to finally be able to watch _Wes Anderson’s_ films with someone, the two of them commenting on the aesthetics and the usage of colors. They both cried watching _Before Sunset_. It was no secret he indulges in typical Hollywood action films like _Fast and Furious_ and _Die Hard too_ , enjoying the explosions and gunfights. Lastly, ever since they introduced _Star Wars_ to Smokescreen, the kid's been doing nothing but making lightsaber noises every time he shoots his cannons. He would occasionally call Ultra Magnus _Spock_ behind his back after discovering _Star Trek_. Amanda could only dub the nickname as illogical.

That's how they end up clustered by the television watching one of Amanda's movies.

This wasn't the first time. A few nights ago, Miko played _'Midnight Slasher'_ for, according to Bulkhead, the umpteenth time. Amanda didn't know whether to feel flattered or insulted to see Miko grinning at the sight her getting chased around by a neurotic _Michael Myers_ wannabe. Optimus had found the ordeal rather traumatizing, extending his sentiments to Amanda even after she assured him it was all staged. Granted, it wasn't her best film - the cinematographer hated her and they had a lousy cameraman, but it did help start up her career. When Ultra Magnus came back from patrol right when the killer beheaded an innocent man in front of Amanda’s character, spraying blood across her torn wedding dress, he didn't hesitate to verbally express his disapproval.

" I don't understand the entertainment in watching you suffer." He admitted gruffly.

That's why tonight, they had opted to watch a different film. Much to Miko's disappointment and Arcee’s delight, they decided to watch _Pride and Prejudice_. The children needed to learn the plot for their Literature class, Jack insisted this would be the perfect time - "C'mon Miko, would you rather read it, or watch it?"

They all huddled around the small tv screen, leaving Amanda alone by her desk. She _refuses_ to see herself onscreen. How she had gotten the role was beyond her, no one thought it’d be a success. Once Kiera Knightley had walked into the audition room, Amanda had resorted to giving up. Yet her manager called her the next morning, citing that this was her big break.

“ How are you not a hit by now?” Miko asked aloud, shaking her head at Amanda. Eventually, her curiosity had gotten the best of her, and she decided to go and join them for the sake of quenching it. Now squished between Miko and Raf, Amanda nurse a hot cup of tea, trying not to cringe at the scene. “ I mean, you went from dancing in literature classics to getting mutilated in cheap horror films.”

“ Thanks, Miko,” Amanda nodded, shoving a handful of popcorn in her mouth.

In the dark, with nothing but the light coming from the moon and the little tv screen, Amanda stole a glance at her guardian’s direction.

She swallowed.

His eyes were rapt on the screen, the barest flicker in his eyes citing his interest.

_Elizabeth walks out into the open countryside. The mists are starting to evaporate. From out of the mist in the distance a figure emerges. Her heart misses a beat. She is alone, vulnerable. Then she sees it is Darcy._

Amanda could hear her heartbeat ringing against her ears. She couldn’t miss the way Miko gripped both Raf and Jack's hands, shamelessly trying to contain her excitement at the couple’s reunion.

_“ I would have to tell you, you have bewitched me body and soul and I love and love and love you. And never wish to be parted from you from this day on.”_

_Elizabeth looks at him. She does not say a word. Darcy is staring at her for a reply. A tear rolls down Elizabeth's cheek._

The screenplay was a vivid memory in her mind, as if she had just gotten the part yesterday. The room was silent. There was a gentle gasp – Amanda suspects it came from Bulkhead.

_“I am very happy to inform you that not only have my sentiments changed - there are no other words which could give me greater pleasure.”_

Amanda ducked her head, toying with the hem of her skirt. Joe Wright was ahead of his time, he was kind and passionate in his work. He saw his movies as a kind of dance between the director and the audience, that his vision should get their brains to waltz and twirl instead of standing on the sidelines in silence. At that moment, Amanda almost forgot they were standing behind a camera. She almost forgot they were reading off a script, a wonderfully written one by Deborah Moggach, who fashioned her screenplay with dreams of how good living could be; she believed we could create new parts for ourselves in real life.

_Darcy stares at her. They both start to cry. Darcy very, very slowly, and gently touches her face. She closes her eyes. They kiss. She touches his face with her hand, the kiss becomes passionate, intimate, and full of joy._

Miko let out a squeal of joy, along with Jack, who pumped his fist into the air. There was a series of cheering and clapping, the mirth rolling down their laughter. Showered by praise, the warmth across Amanda’s cheeks became too hot to bear. She turned to the second in command, only to have her grin washed away by the look in his eyes.

She barely caught it as it skittered past his optics, written in the frown of his lips.

Their eyes met.

He untangled himself from the crowd, walking towards his station.

Amanda couldn’t do anything but watch him leave, ignoring the odd feeling in her chest.

* * *

The morning had broken like the sweet melody of a blackbird, full of promise, freshness, and newness to come. The bleak cluster of clouds would soon be chased away by the heat, urging Amanda to pick up her pace.

Amanda jogged by the sidewalk, careful not to stray too far into the middle. The neighborhood was still empty of light, the houses slumbering under the gentle sway of the trees. The sprinklers hiss into the morning air, creating a thin sheet of mist around her.

It’s been three days and she still couldn’t shake off the look on his face. He remained passive, continuing with their routine as if she hadn’t just caught him walk away. She didn’t dare to put a name on his expression, she wouldn’t go as far to say disappointed – there was no clear way of telling. Yet in that brief second of clarity, where time decided to slow and sound begins to fade, she saw him.

Her footsteps quickened.

She could smell the salt from the beach, the feel of the sun on her skin. Amanda had caught him staring, the ocean forgotten as he asked about her eyes.

A man waved at her from his porch.

The French countryside seemed so far away now, their argument in the Louvre acting as nothing but a relic from another time.

There was a great pressure, a great pounding inside her.

His touch was gentle. His smile, rare and reserved. His eyes, blue, alien blue. Blue, blue,blue,blue-

Amanda lurched sideways, steadying herself with one foot. A honk pulled her out of her trance and she pounded the dashboard of the car. The driver swerved around her, leaving her to cradle the ache blooming around her side. The sleek Cadillac disappearing down the road.

She tore the headphones out of her ear, steadying her breathing.

Another vehicle approached her, slowing down to her side. As if her thoughts have manifested itself, she offered the blue and red rig a smile, “ What seems to be the problem, officer?”

He didn’t give in to her amusement. “ Are you hurt?”

He must’ve seen the incident, Amanda let the hand on her side fall, “ No, don’t worry about it.”

“ Nurse Darby’s home is not far from here, I can take you.”

She stopped walking, “ I said I’m fine, Ultra Magnus.”

Deciding not to press on further, he opened his door for her. She examined herself, feeling the sweat cling onto her sleeveless undershirt. The black color matching her shorts. “ I’m sweaty.”

“ And?”

“ You don’t mind?” She wrinkled her nose.

There was a pregnant pause – she could almost imagine him staring.

He honked – “ Okay, okay !” She scrambled inside, closing the door behind her. They passed by a few houses, enjoying the early morning atmosphere.

“ I understand this is meant to be your day off,” He explained, “ Yet, I’ll be going for recon this evening.”

“Oh?” Amanda stared at the dashboard.

He hesitated, “ I was wondering if you’d like to join me.”

 _Oh_ , Amanda mentally facepalmed – “Of course! I mean, yes.” She cleared her throat, “ Yes. I’d like to go. That’s nice of you to ask, Ultra Magnus.”

He took the familiar turn to her driveway, “ I understand you enjoy these missions. Dress appropriately –I believe the Norwegian Alps carries a harsher climate. We will depart at 2300 hours, get some rest before then.”

“ So winter wonderland huh?” Amanda nodded, “ It’s a date.”

“ It’s a date.” He agreed.

She has to remind herself that they were referring to the timing.

Amanda stepped out onto the pavement, “ Hey, Ultra Magnus?” He left the door open. “ How did you know I enjoy the missions?”

“ I assumed. You seem to be enjoying yourself so far. You had once expressed your interest in traveling, I believe you see the mission as nothing short of that.”

Amanda was unsure of what had compelled her to say - “ That’s true, but I also enjoy it because you’re with me. Remember that.”

If she listens closely, she might just hear the smile in his voice. “Affirmative.” With that he drove off, leaving her with a simmering sense of excitement.

* * *

“ I heard he was your fiancé.”

“ Who?”

“ The guy who played Mr.Darcy.” The girl leaned forward onto the table, trying to draw Amanda’s gaze away from the paper. Amanda stiffened, no longer reading the words, “Oh? Where’d you hear that?”

“ Doesn’t matter. Is it true?”

Amanda let out a dry laugh, “ I think you already know the answer to that, Miko.”

A few seconds of silence pass by. Miko was drumming her fingers across the table, staring at Amanda in what she could practically feel as pity. “ What happened?”

Amanda finally raised her head, meeting not only Miko’s gaze – but his. He was watching from afar, no doubt listening to their conversation. It wasn’t exactly eavesdropping, not when her office was just a desk by the corner with no walls. They both held their breath, waiting – and Amanda gave Miko a tired smile.

“ He changed his mind. That’s what happened." 

She spent the next few hours trying to shrug off Ultra Magnus’s stare on her back.

* * *

The colors were utterly brilliant and pure. The vibrant shades were in perpetual motion, dancing, flowing, changing shades. The lights blazed in the silent sky, moving in great swaying bands of color. They resembled the swirl of a nascent rose that had begun to open, collapsing like a great river above the snowy terrain.

Puffs of white clouded her lips, trailing after her laughter. Amanda beamed at her guardian, ignoring the coldness around her, “Ultra Magnus, oh this is – “ Beautiful won’t do it justice, not when they flow over the sky in brilliant waves. “ _Merci infiniment_ , thank you, thank you, thank you !”

He held out his hand, not bothering to hide his smile. His eyes dimmed, bright crystal blue darkening into the glow of hot coals. “The deposit is only a few miles from here. Once we are done, we may stay longer to watch the lights.”

At this, they wasted no time to continue. Amanda finds herself gravitating towards his warmth. At first glance, she had expected Cybertronian metal to be cold to the touch, only to be surprised by how _warm_ they are. After a hard battle, Ultra Magnus’s frame would heat up the same way coals by the fire would. It would radiate off him in waves, leading one to believe the touch would burn. Here, against the layers of chill and snow, his frame acted as a conductor for heat – naturally warming in retaliation to the cold.

By the time they reached the signal, she was pressed against his chin – hands resting above the cabling of his neck. Ultra Magnus made no move to comment, merely observing her from his peripheral.

He held out his palm to lower her down. That’s when the blast hit him.

The snow may have broken her fall, but it was not enough to soften the blow. Amanda writhed, trying to blink away the spots around her vision. There was a sharp sting below her ribs, catching her breathing. Her ears were ringing, she touched them, ignoring the liquid spilling down her fingers. In the distance, a jet flew past Ultra Magnus, hitting him square in the chest.

Amanda couldn’t hear her own voice as she yells for him, stumbling forward. The jet transformed inches away from her face. She glared at his feet, “ S-Starscream.”

She swallowed the bile rising out of her throat. Not wanting to give in her fear, she met the Decepticon’s leer. A single claw touched her cheek, causing her to shiver. “ We meet again, _fleshbag_.” He swiped his talon across her skin, and Amanda clutched her cheek. “ Look at you, _pathetic_.”

Her legs give out under her as Starscream swiped her into his grip. Amanda struggled to put some space between his fingers, yelping when they tightened around her abdomen, “ I could squish you, you know, and end your miserable little life.” She screamed when he tightened his hold. He smirked, “Who’s laughing now?”

Over his shoulder, Ultra Magnus was battling the onslaught of vehicles, and Amanda’s eyes widened at the sight. There were people, humans, swarming him. They pinned his legs down, electrocuting him as chains restrained both his hands down. “ Magnus!” Amanda called out, only to be silenced by his grip.

“ Ultra Magnus,” He chuckled, “ Is this _really_ the Autobot’s second in command? I was expecting more of a fight out of him. Oh well, we all know he’s no Prime. Nonetheless, Lord Megatron will be thrilled to hear that I snuff out his spark !”

At the mention of their leader, Amanda shrunk away, clawing at his clutch. “ I should bring you back to him for good measure, although you’re a pitiful sight to behold – the information in your head could be of good use.”

Below, someone cleared their throat. Amanda immediately noticed him.

“ Y-You!” She shouted. The man spared her a tight smile, the same one he gave her when he drove away that morning.

“ We had a deal. She’s ours.”

Amanda didn’t want to go with him, but anything was better from where she is now. Amanda could feel herself going limp, his grip was cutting off the blood in her arms. Tears squeezed themselves out of her eyes, the snow dusting her lashes. “ I can’t..breathe.”

Starscream fed off her pain, giving her one last squeeze before dropping her. The man caught her, immediately wrapping his arms around hers to keep her from running. “ All yours.” The seeker knew he was outnumbered, eying the men around him carefully. He gave Amanda one last hateful glance, before retreating towards Ultra Magnus, only to transform midway, zipping past him into the dark. _Coward_ , Amanda thought, kicking against the body behind her, _he’s a fucking coward who pays other people to do his dirty_ –

“ Ms. Laurent,” A hand flew across her throat, “ Why don’t we calm down for a second.”

Amanda stilled, her breathing labored. His fingers dig into the column of her neck, forcing her to stop moving. The tears continue to spill. “ Ultra Magnus !”

They locked eyes, and for a moment he looked so far away – out of her reach as men continue to prod and electrocute him. Then something shifted in his gaze. In one quick motion he aimed his blaster towards her, breaking free from the restraints. The blast missed them by a meter, enough to scare her captor into letting her go. She leaped aside, scrambling to her feet.

“ RUN !”

At his command she sprinted towards the clearing of trees, rolling down the hillside as chaos break lose. She could hear gunfire, choppers, and men screaming. The whirring of his blasters as the reload hit her ears, deafening them after every blast. She didn’t dare to look back, her legs running – no, _sprinting_ aimlessly. She risked a glance, only to find shadows tailing after her. Their black uniforms stark against the pure driven snow, cornering her as she skidded to a halt.

A soldier aimed his gun at her, backing her into the middle of their circle. A root caught her foot, sending her backward. A red dot hovered above her forehead.

“ Who are you _asshole_?” She spat.

He stalked her, hands behind his back. “ There’s no need to be so crude. The name’s Silas.”

The bastard is making her ask. “ What do you want?”

She flinched when his smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “ We want what you can offer us, Ms. Laurent. We’ve been watching you for quite some time now. It’s a shame, that the American government cannot protect you.” He roughly gripped her chin, and she gripped his wrist, failing to push it away.

“ But we can,” He forcefully released his grip. “ You see, I believe our interests align with one another.”

“ As if !” She squirmed, trying to break the restraints they placed around her wrists. “ I don’t align myself with international terrorism, so you and your creepy cult can go fuck yourselves.” The man on her right raised his gun at her head.

 _Be brave_ , her father once told her, _be brave_.

She swallowed, ignoring the shaking of her legs to glare at Silas.

“ You’re mistaken. We’re not interested in such matters. What we want, is a new world order, one built upon cutting edge technology. We both know titans walk amongst us, we spent a millennium looking at the stars and worshipping them like gods. I’m tired of kneeling, so I’m taking a stand against these so-called gods. I think it’s about time that we walk beside them. Don’t you think?”

A name appeared in her mind.

“ You’re MECH.”

 _“ A secret black operations unit that was originally tasked with technological weaponry. They strayed from the CIA after discovering the Autobot’s existence. The group’s lead by Leland Bishop, a corrupt KGB agent,”_ Fowler once explained _, “After the stunt they pulled with Nemesis Prime, they are now number one on the NSA, CIA, Interpol and FBI's most wanted list. Leland was presumed dead, but one can never be too careful."_

He gave her another disturbing smile.

The cold made breathing more difficult than it already is, the ache around her torso worsening with every breath. That’s when she heard it, the distant revving.

“ What makes you think you can trust them? All extraterrestrial life forms are a threat, and we don't stand a chance against them! To them, we are weak, small, and insignificant. How sure are you they won't snuff you out once they've had their use.”He held out his hands, “ With your work, we can achieve so much more. Help us gain equal footing amongst these titans.”

Amanda stared at his hand, “ Never.”

Ultra Magnus roared as he transformed midair, crashing through the trees. Amanda ducked, crawling out of the crossfire before running ahead, trying to put some distance between her and Silas. He followed after her, bringing a few men with him. She could see Ultra Magnus through the pine trees, fighting what looked like another Decepticon.

The surface of the lake should have been glossy blue, but under the freezing midnight, it glistened pale under a layer of frost. She experimentally placed her foot across it, retreating when it creaked under her weight. The approaching footsteps urged her forward, with one bold leap she jogged onwards – careful to not stray too far into the middle. A few meters away, by the riverbanks, Silas scowled at her – testing his footing.

A crack appeared under his feet.

“Steady,” Silas ordered the men, “We need her alive.”

Amanda ignored the blood dripping down her cheek. Ultra Magnus was not far behind them, fighting a bot she would have mistaken for Optimus. Yet from the way her guardian lifted it off the ground to toss it against the looming pines, she knew the machine was anything but their leader.

The ice fractured under her weight, straining to separate her from the murky water below.

“There’s no place to run!” Silas growled, “You’re making this harder for both parties.”

Amanda inched backward, ignoring the noises below.

“You wouldn’t want to make the same mistakes as the old man,” Silas sighed, cocking his gun. “It’s a shame we had to get rid of him.”

Amanda’s breath hitched.

“ The fire,” She gulped, “ You- _you_ killed him! How could you ?”

The truth slammed into her so hard her knees gave in. Images of the funeral, the crime scene - flooded her vision. They’ve cornered her into the middle of the glacial field and one wrong move can easily send them plummeting down. Looking past Silas, Ultra Magnus’s red and blue paint job stood victorious over Nemesis Prime. He caught her eyes, and they were wordlessly communicating once more – reading each other’s intentions.

Above her streams of emerald danced and twirled in the space between the stars. The ice was too thin, too brittle to accommodate his weight. Ultra Magnus couldn’t help her, and the look in his eyes was enough to tell her how much he _hated_ it. At this moment, she could see through the chink in his armor – in the way his hands instinctively reached out to her.

Ultra Magnus’s gaze was almost desperate, almost _begging_.

_“ Because you're here, and when you're with me, it's hard to feel scared."_

Amanda took a deep breath, focusing on the three men before her. “ Fine.”

Silas split into a grin, “ Excellent.”

“ S-stay where you are,” Amanda feigned, “ I’ll go closer.”

He extended a hand out to her as she slowly crept towards them. There was a sudden sharpness across her ribs, causing her to double over. Silas made a move to grab her, but Amanda took this as a sign to pull him forward – circling him and running past the two. No, she wasn’t running, she was _racing_ through the ice with such vigor that the frost began to crumble behind her. The cracks nipped at her feet and Ultra Magnus reached as far as he could for her.

“ Jump!”

At his command she jumped forward, fingers outstretched – only to plunge into the dark when a hand encircled her ankle.

Ultra Magnus’s cry was cut off when the water swallowed her whole. The coldness she had felt upon entry was instantly replaced by a desperate hot wave, her body’s desperate attempt at warming itself. In return her heart beat rapidly, warning her of how _quickly_ she’s sinking. Silas clung onto her coat and Amanda wiggled free from his grip, abandoning the fabric and kicking upwards.

_" I don't actually know how to swim that well."_

Silas was drifting, drifting, drifting down into the abyss, weighed by his vest, his screams never reached the surface. Amanda faced the light, reaching for the hole. The lights danced across the dark sky, each color slowly fading into another.

A sense of anguish, more so than pain, had taken rule of her heart. She felt extremely light-headed, the shadows coaxing her to sleep.

_“ Because you're here, and when you're with me, it's hard to feel scared."_

Her mind was entering the perpetual state of consciousness and slumber, and in her dreams, she was floating, higher, higher, and higher. In the midst of her haze, Amanda could hear the dialogue of a movie, drifting past her ears.

_"I would have to tell you, you have bewitched me body and soul and I love and love and love you. And never wish to be parted from you from this day on."_

The last thing she saw was metal fingers reaching out to her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Movie Headcannons are heavily referenced and inspired by this headcannon post on tumblr : https://zenxenophilia.tumblr.com/post/158251690987/movie-night-headcanons-with-team-prime , kudos to the writer for I think it's spot on ! <3  
> Now I hope you enjoy this chapter just as much as I enjoyed writing it - I had to use the big guns for this, AKA my super super sad playlist on spotify  
> Although, they'll most likely be explained in the next chapter, don't hesitate to ask questions if there is any confusion. I also take criticism as I am open to improvement <3
> 
> P.S - I hope it's not super corny that I included pride and prejudice here


	10. je te laisserai des mots

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone ! I hope you are doing well, my inner evil author wanted to make you wait longer for the next chapter but I’m nice so here is a super angsty chapter ( at least I hope it is )  
> The title is based off a french song I absolutely adore. It's Patrick Watson's Je te laisserai des mots ! I wrote this chapter with this song on loop because I feel this song really suits Amanda and Magnus <3  
> You may check it out and listen to it while you read through this chapter, I'll make sure to put the translation in the ends notes.  
> Now brace yourselves !

In the half-light of the empty theater, she sat alone in the furthest edge of the middle row. The scene before her repeated itself, stuck in a loop where she is forced to watch the empty stretch of the ocean. The waves lapped at the shore, gently crashing into the sand. There was music playing outside, echoing from the distance. Amanda craned her neck, watching the man on the opposite side.

“ Amanda.”

Veiled by the shadows, she couldn’t see his face. The scene came to a halt, accompanied by the screeching of tapes. A film burn began to creep out of the corners, devouring the screen. The music grew louder, forcing its way through the walls.

“ Amanda, it’s time to wake up.”

She flinched at the voice, whipping her head to find no one behind her. The man a few rows below remained unmoving. Voices were calling her name, the sound barely there, pulling her away. Ugly blotches began to tear apart the screen, the projector faltering as flames danced across the sheet.

“ Amanda you have to wake up !”

She woke up with a start, her entire body shaking as her eyes pried themselves open. The first thing she noticed was that her lungs were burning, her throat constricting on itself as she struggled to breathe. Amanda inhaled, feeling the air rush into her lungs. Hands roughly grip her shoulders, keeping her head afloat. Her eyes strain under the light, blinking away the lukewarm water.

She panted, hands gripping the side of the bathtub.

“ J-June,” Amanda stammered, not noticing that her teeth were chattering until she heard herself. Relief took over June’s face.“ It’s okay, you’re safe now.” The nurse stirred her back against the wall, cradling her head. The water sloshed around her, spilling onto the tiles. Amanda had her fair share of headaches, but this one felt like her skull was going to split open. She won’t be surprised if something decided to bust itself out of her head like that scene in _Alien_.

She winced, slowing down her thoughts. June was grabbing the towel by the washrack, reminding Amanda that she’s _naked_. She pulled her arms around herself, feeling them shiver. Against the clear water, she could see the ugly bloom of purple circling her ribs. A wince squeezed itself out of her lips.

She caught sight of herself by the mirror. Across her cheek was a throbbing cut, angry red as it stared back at her. June’s fingers danced above it. She frowned.

Helping Amanda on her feet, she wrapped the towel around her. If it wasn’t for the nurse’s arm around her shoulder, she would have stumbled onto the floor. Amanda whimpered, shaking her head at the ache as June urged her on.

“ Easy, you can do it,” She coaxed. “ We have to go to the hospital. The only thing stopping us from going there in the first place was how bad you were shivering. I knew we had to warm you up quickly before doing anything else.”

Outside she could hear footsteps running across the hallways. “ Mom, was it in the right or left drawer?”

“ The bottom right!” June answered. Amanda slipped into some clothes. Under different circumstances she would have felt embarrassed, if it wasn’t for the fact that she could feel herself drifting once more. The older woman tapped her cheek, jolting her awake. “ Stay with us.”

Amanda nodded numbly, following June out of the door. Jack took one glance at her, before sliding his shoulder under her arm. The boy’s hair was still ruffled, and Amanda felt guilty for interrupting the Darby household this late at night. Before Amanda knew it, she was inside a car, speeding down the road with Arcee ahead of them.

“ ..Magnus,” Amanda breathed out, “ Where’s…”

“ Stay awake Amanda,” Jack pleaded, shaking her shoulders lightly. Amanda could only nod, scared of how the weight was now replaced by a feeling of extreme lightheadedness. She knew she wasn’t inside the blue and red rig, and her hands aimlessly reach out. She could hear Smokescreen, he sounded frantic, talking around her. The mech was going as fast as he can, the sound of his tires screeching against the pavement weakly anchoring her to the present.

“ Ultra…Magnus..I’m scared. I’m so, so _scared_.”

Hands hauled her onto a stretcher, pushing her through the doors.

“ It’s going to be okay,” A voice replied, “ Stay with us.”

Amanda shook her head, finding it harder to focus. The noise around her was now blurred into one, the dark spots around her eyes fluctuating. That’s when it hit her square in the gut, wrenching her inside and rendering her numb. The fear nearly paralyzed her and she thought of her guardian. She thought of him walking away that night, back turned to her. She thought of his eyes. Blue,blue, _blue_ -

A hand placed itself across her cheek.

She leaned against it.

“ I don’t..” She sobbed, “ What's going to happen to me?” She was hyperventilating now, feeling the sheer amount of terror grip her by the throat, “ I’m scared, please…Magnus.”

They place a breather around her mouth and not long after, she let the darkness consume her.

* * *

She stared at the water dripping from the tap, the noise echoing around the bathroom.

Two weeks have passed. The hospital had sent her home yesterday, albeit reluctantly. But Amanda knew staying too long may endanger the patients. It was still too early to guess how MECH had discovered about her involvement. Fowler hasn’t spoken a word to her, but Jack assured that he’s on the case. The agent had also covered her hospital bill, as part of their insurance deal. In the meantime, she’s been relocated. The house was closer to the city, the densely populated area supposedly decreasing any risk of an attack. It was bigger than the previous one, there was a backyard to accompany the front, and a nice kitchen table to fit four people.

It made the silence harder to stand, as if every empty corridor and room reminded her of how lonely it can get.

The Energon signal was a trap, cunningly set up by MECH, no doubt aided by Starscream. The Decepticon could’ve taken her to Megatron, by this point, they too must’ve known about the relics. It unsettled her, how Starscream had come to MECH for help – the only reason she’s not being tortured by Megatron for information is because Starscream had underestimated how hard it was to double-cross Silas. The Autobots think the seeker’s gone rogue, why else would he try to horde the glory for himself? The move was a poorly calculated one, coming from a Decepticon. Bringing back Amanda or killing Ultra Magnus could have been a way to a desperate attempt to redeem himself.

She winced at that, dunking her head underwater to erase the memory. Her house had a bathtub in it, a small one, but a bathtub nonetheless. She spent the entire afternoon staring at it, fighting the mental images of herself drowning. In the end, she caved and filled it to the brim, soaking herself in the hot water.

It’s funny how the incident did nothing but increase her productivity. One of the first things she told June when they walked out of the hospital, is that she wants to bring her work home. June naturally didn’t agree, but eventually, give in when Amanda threatened to show up at the base. A voice in her head warns her that this was a sick way to cope – a way for her to act like everything is fine. Amanda argued with her conscience, why wouldn’t she be alright? She’s alive, despite nearly freezing to death.

The children had visited her, bringing flowers and chocolate. She thanked Jack and bantered with Miko, while Raf helped her organize the pills the doctor prescribed.

It was Smokescreen who drove her home and Amanda hid her disappointment as the mech gushed on about how worried he’d been. He talked about how humans were so fragile – surprised at how they needed to wait for their bones to mend and bruises to heal.

“ _To them, we are weak, small, and insignificant! How sure are you they won't snuff you out once they've had their use_?”

“ Hey,” Smokescreen slowed down, “ You alright, Amanda?”

“ Of course,” She lied, “ I’m okay. How’s – how’s Ultra Magnus, Smokescreen?”

There was a pause. “ He’s off to recon.”

“ Wasn’t he hurt?”

“ He was, but not as bad as you were. Nemesis Prime might have given him a few scrapes, nothing that can’t be buffed out. I mean, we all wouldn’t mind if he takes a break,” Smokescreen joked, “ But you know Ultra Magnus, he puts his work before anything.”

Fourteen days have passed and she still hasn’t heard from him. She’d seen Bumblebee, Bulkhead, and Arcee – as the children would come to visit sometimes, along with June. Optimus had called once, and her heart softened at his concern. Even Ratchet, who never leaves the base, had once pulled up by her driveway. He did it under the guise of dropping something from June, but she was thankful nonetheless.

Her eyes stung. The water has turned cold.

Under the light of her vanity table, she observed the line running down her cheekbone, grazing the corner of her lip. It’s now pink, nearly thinning into a scar. Amanda knew it was nothing she couldn’t cover up with a concealer, but a small part of her worries for it. 

Amanda applied the ice pack above her ribs, careful to not put too much pressure. The prescribed medicine was supposed to help her heal faster, but two months seemed like an eternity. It’s only been a week and Amanda has already resorted to living with the pain of a fractured rib forever. Amanda peered down the window, bidding Smokescreen goodnight. He had insisted on staying outside the garage, saying it’s easier to catch any intruder that way. She tries not to let her sadness show through her smile, thankful that even if it’s not Ultra Magnus, Smokescreen is more than willing to keep an eye on her.

Amanda opened her phone, staring at the number she’d memorized by now. Against the mirror, her eyes were red, the brown in her irises growing darker under the night.

_“ But you know Ultra Magnus, he puts his work before anything.”_

In the darkness she lay, body begging to be put to rest. Yet her eyes traced the branches by the window as they sway despondently from side to side. Without knowing why she started to cry, and she couldn’t stop until sleep overtook her.

* * *

She dreams of falling into the water. It's cold and dark. She can't see past the light shining down the fractured ice. She'll wake up in cold sweat, hands across her mouth to keep herself from screaming. Out of instinct, she would reach out - hands desperate and searching. It was a different kind of emptiness, she felt, when she would find nothing but the space between her sheets, reminding her once again that she is alone.

* * *

" I can hear you, you know." He said and Amanda has to pretend to look for her glasses. " Oh?"

Smokescreen's side mirror moved to reflect the shadows under her eyes. "You've been having bad dreams when you recharge. I have them too, but only sometimes. It gets better if you talk about it with someone."

The offer hung in the air. She tries not to picture herself clawing on the blankets, fighting off a man who's most likely frozen himself to death. Smokescreen would understand. He's naive, eager and ambitious - but he's willing to listen. He's had his fair share of things he'd rather forget.

She opens her mouth, but all that came out was a laugh. " I'm fine, Smokescreen. Didn't you say you were going to tell me a Cybertronian joke yesterday?"

Amanda was good at hiding her feelings. She was an actress - she'd played so many different faces. The most common mistake actors make on camera is that they will overplay one emotion, to avoid confusing the audience, the only other option is to play both in equal measure. If she does that on stage, her audience will end up seeing neither emotion - as the surface emotion and the underlying feeling will end up cancelling each other out, leaving nothing unwanted on display. It was a trick she'd learnt early on. The world was her stage.

It wasn't hard to give team Prime a smile as they congratulate her on her speedy recovery, and it was even easier to ignore the fact that Ultra Magnus wasn't there.

* * *

Fowler stared at the cup of coffee she poured for him, grumbling to himself. By this point, Amanda shouldn’t be surprised at how grumpy he can be – but today he seemed to be more irritated than anything. Showing up in her front door at seven in the morning was one thing, sitting in her dining table like a wounded dog was another.

“ Your family in France is fine – actually, they’re doing well. Your aunts have decided to go on a one-week trip to across Europe.” He declared, cutting into his eggs forcefully. Amanda let out a hum, watching the sausages on the pan.

“ It’s a family tradition,” Amanda shrugged, “ They’ll visit Eastern Europe every once a year.”

“ I just hope my men don’t get too comfortable in their little world tour. Other than that, they’re safe. We haven’t detected any suspicious activity around them lately. Now – I know you might not take my word anymore after what happened, but I can assure you, they’re safer in the EU than they are here.”

She moved her breakfast onto the plate, sliding across the agent.

“ I’m sorry to hear about what happened to your mentor.” She nodded at the sentiment, momentarily unearthing the grief she’s been carrying. It gave her both peace and agony to know what truly happened to her professor. “ We’ll bring MECH to justice, even if it’s the last thing we do.”

He sipped his coffee, clearing his throat.

“ I apologize, for compromising your safety.” It sounded forced, but Amanda knew it was genuine – at least, as genuine Fowler can get. “ Uncle Sam and I are working to patch up any remaining leaks – from now on we’ll double security. Increase patrol and all that jazz.”

Amanda took a bite of her egg – frowning when it’s too runny, “ It’s fine, Fowler.”

“ You don’t have lie.”

She raised her brows, “ I want to be mad, but I don’t have the energy for it. Besides, if I can’t be safe with you and the Autobots, I doubt I can be safe anywhere.”

He leaned back on his chair, watching her. She ignored him, eating as the clock by the wall tick by. Finally, he let out a sigh – heavy and tired, he wiped his face with both hands.

“ Tell that to your boyfriend.” He shook his head, ignoring Amanda’s stare, “ Lord knows he could make a preacher cuss – no offense. He’s been giving me an earful for not being careful enough, now I gotta pray he doesn’t step on me every time I show up to the base.”

He finished the last bites in a hurry, glancing at his watch. “ Thank you for the meal. Again, I'm truly sorry – but please tell your guy to calm down. I think he’s getting a little too protective when it comes to you, I don’t see him fuss around this much when he got his ass handed to him by Megatron.”

He continued to rant to himself, even after he left her porch to enter his car – he didn’t seem to notice how he’s cursing by this point. Amanda could only shake her head as he drove off, putting the dirty dishes into the sink.

* * *

There was a beauty to it, raw and barren, even with the grainy wind she stood her ground. Amanda sat by the cliff’s edge, looking out onto the gorge. The wind playfully tugged on her dress, hiking the red and blue skirt up to her thighs. She leaned against a boulder, easing the ache on her side. The shield in her hand was coarse and she used the last rays of light to sketch it onto her paper.

He cleared his throat.

Amanda ignored him, gripping the pencil tighter. Only when she felt him staring did she relented, gazing up to him. There it was again – the wall she’d tried so hard to climb over. He let nothing show through his face, trying to remain indifferent even if she looks like she’s going to _slap_ him. A moment passes.

“ You shouldn’t sit too close to the edge.”

Amanda stood up, so abruptly that her sketchpad skittered across the sand-strewn rock. The wind was howling, pushing strands of hair across her face. She approached him, never breaking eye contact. The silent language she once understood became foreign, hidden under the mask he so stubbornly keeps.

“ What is your status on the relic?”

She flinched at his impassivity – that was enough to send her screaming. “That’s it?”

His face morphed into one of shock as she stepped back, hands flying across her face, “ After weeks of avoiding me, that’s it? You- you act like nothing’s happened?”

He had the audacity to look away and Amanda let out a frustrated whine, “ Why?”

The wind carried the broken syllables, pushing him onto his knees. Even then he still had to look down. She waited, and she could feel the anger simmering towards the surface when he did nothing but watch her. Slowly, his eyes softened, resting against her scar.

“ I failed to protect you. I am your guardian, and yet I couldn’t keep you safe.” His voice sounded uncharacteristically small, as if it didn't belong to him, “ I allowed you to feel afraid. What I did was a mistake, I should have never taken you with me. Never again would I allow myself to be so careless. To avoid endangering you any further – “ He paused, “ Smokescreen will be your guardian. I’ve discussed it with Optimus, it’s been settled.”

She recognizes that look almost immediately – guilt, _shame_. It was strange to see him so _wounded_. The ache in his eyes could only remind her of their time on the beach, and she heard it again, the sound of the ocean. She didn’t even realize the kind of security he gifted her with until after the attack, only when they were separated did she felt _terrified_.

He had been avoiding her because the very thought of not being able to protect her hurt him.

His fingers twitched as a tear roll down her cheek.

She sniffled, “ But I need you.”

Amanda didn’t know what had overcome her. She very rarely cries, preferring to do it when she’s alone. Yet, as the sun begins to fall so does her tears. Brick by brick, her walls came tumbling down – the sadness she’s been harboring for days coming in waves. She could feel the muscles of her chin tremble like a small child, but Amanda had no more room for shame as she sobbed.

“ I-I needed you! When I needed you the most you left me alone,” She wept, “ D-Do you think you worth so little to me that I won’t forgive you? What makes you think you can just decide without me? Don't go avoiding me, _please_. I don’t – I don’t want anyone else to be my guardian, I want you. I want you, Ultra Magnus !”

She couldn’t see his expression through her tears, but he held out his hands in front of her. She climbed on top of it, clinging onto his thumb. A finger nudged her face and she grasped it with both hands, “ I waited for you. I waited and _waited_ – but you never showed. I thought you hate me, I thought after what happened you think I’m weak, insignificant and – and that I’m some kind of liability to your cause,” Amanda hiccuped, stopping before she could make a bigger fool of herself.

A shadow fell across his face.“ You would still have me as your guardian?”

“ Of course! _Sacre bleu,_ Ultra Magnus you’re more than my guardian, you’re- you’re my friend !” She yelled, but it came out as a strangled laugh. The ridiculousness of it all wrestling with her anger.

“ I don’t think you’re weak nor insignificant.” The finger swiped the hair away from her lips, nudging her cheek, “You…matter, but that does not make you a liability. Forgive me. I didn’t know my absence would trouble you this much.”

The disbelief in his words left her wondering until he continued – “Why didn’t you say anything sooner?”

She caught her tongue, using the back of her palm to wipe the dried tears. Amanda wanted to tell him that she’s been trying, but he’s _right_. They were so used to communicating in silence, one look should’ve been a dead give away that something was wrong, but Amanda had become so good at hiding her emotions that he assumed she was doing fine without him.

By pushing away her feelings – she had inadvertently pushed him away too.

A wave of guilt hit her. She spent so much time tearing down his walls, only to build herself one. As if reading her thoughts, Ultra Magnus tentatively brushed his fingers across her head. “ Amanda.”

“ I’m sorry. I should have been more honest with you. All this time I doubted my feelings, second-guessing them because it’s easier for me to pretend I’m fine rather than accept that I’m not.” She deflated, “ I guess – I guess I’m scared.”

The last word came out as a whisper.

At the darkest stage of twilight, the soft susurration of the breeze grew louder, howling down the hills. Amanda wrapped an arm around herself, pushing herself closer to his thumb.

“ I should have never left you alone.”

His voice was coarse, undeniably tired - as if she wasn’t the only one losing sleep. " Are you still angry with me?"

A moment passed.

" A little, but mostly -"

“ I’m scared,” She admitted, “ But now you’re here, and it doesn’t seem that scary anymore. I promise I won’t bottle my feelings if you’d stop avoiding me. We should stick together, remember?”

It's funny how one nod from him was enough to make her release the breath she didn’t know she was holding. Her hair drifted chaotically against the wind. She squealed, laughing as she untangled herself from the mess. Ultra Magnus’s eyes lit up – ever so slowly, like the receding tides by the shore. The ache in her heart faded into a familiar warmth, mimicking the glow that encompassed the rocky terrain. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll Leave You Words
> 
> I’ll leave you words  
> Underneath your door  
> Underneath the singing moon  
> Near the place where your feet pass by  
> Hidden in the holes of wintertime  
> And when you’re alone for a moment
> 
> Kiss me  
> Whenever you want
> 
> Kiss me  
> Whenever you want
> 
> Kiss me  
> Whenever you want
> 
> Via : https://lyricstranslate.com
> 
> P.S - I know you guys miss all the lore and relics so I'll put that in the next chapter <3


	11. take me back to constantinople

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone ! I hope you are all healthy and doing well. I am sorry you had to wait a while for this chapter update, to make it up, this one is quite long. I'm overjoyed from all the positive feedback I've been getting on this fic lately, your comments make my day. I love all of you and enjoy this chapter ! xx

" Do you understand what you're proposing ?"

Ratchet gaped at the screen, shaking his head. Amanda addressed the crowd before her. The Autobots almost seemed hesitant, deep in their thoughts.

" It's not as far fetched as you might think." Amanda pointed to the image of a winged staff intertwined with two snakes copulating." This is a caduceus. In ancient Greece, it's the traditional symbol of Hermes, often used to represent medicine, healing. We've seen what the staff did to me and Miko, it holds both scientific and mystical properties. And it's made out of Cybertronian metal."

" You're suggesting that the Greek gods were cybertronian?" Jack furrowed his brows.

" Not just any Cybertronian," She looked at Optimus, " Twelve original Primes to represent Twelve Olympian Gods."

" Wait - isn't there supposed to be thirteen original primes?" Bulkhead pipped.

" We'll get to that." Amanda jogged over to her table, flipping through her notebook. " The files scavenged from your Iacon hall of records are barely enough to prove my theory, but is it possible that The Thirteen had visited Earth in the days of ancient Greece? Inspiring the legends of the Twelve Olympians."

" What would they even be doing here in the first place?" Smokescreen argued.

" At some point Cybertronians visited ancient Greece and left an Energon Harvester there. The one Miko and Bulkhead recovered." Raf closed his laptop, turning to the meeting before him, " Maybe they also left a bunch of other stuff too."

" Energon reserves, relics," Amanda listed, " You name it. What I'm curious about, is how they managed to roam around without getting caught."

" Holoforms." The medic placed a hand on his chin, before pulling another image on display. " During Cybertron's golden age, when we were spearheading one of the galaxy’s most advanced space expeditions, we made use of solid-light projection technology to operate inconspicuously on alien worlds. Holomatter projectors can create projected facsimiles of native species that are too small or - " He spared the children a glance, " fleshy for us to mimic with mechanical alt modes."

" Like an avatar," Miko gasped, " That's so cool!"

" Arcee, you have one right?"

The two-wheeler winced, " It's different, Jack. What I've been using is hologram projection. We haven't had the need to use Holomatters in, well, forever."

" Holomatters aren't just friendly images to fool native species; it's also the Cybertronian equivalent of a remotely operated vehicle, allowing us to go places and perform actions that would otherwise be prevented by our size and the need to camouflage our true identities. Having an avatar in a location is like being there ourselves." Ratchet informed. " Holomatter avatars can be intangible, or as solid as a real object. They carry a strong connection to the consciousness of its generating Cybertronian. Damage to the avatar can cause severe impairment to the controlling Mech or Femme if their consciousness is not withdrawn in time."

" They sound like they need a lot of energy." Amanda frowned.

" You're not wrong," Ratchet huffed, " It's wasteful compared to hiding. Do you think we'd still need human liaisons if we could generate an avatar at will?"

" 'Side's it's rare for anyone other than those of high castes to be granted access to equipment like holomatter generators." Bulkhead added," As they're the ones who get to go off-world. Mechs who worked in construction like me don't need one." She didn't miss the way Optimus turned in shame at the mention of castes.

" So the Primes had holoforms that inspired the twelve olympian gods?” Miko waved her hands, “ How do we know who is who?"

" That's the tricky part," Amanda pointed out, moving to pull the whiteboard she had by her desk. " We don't know. In ancient Greek religion and mythology, we have Zeus, Hera, Poseidon, Demeter, Athena, Apollo, Artemis, Ares, Hephaestus, Aphrodite, Hermes, and Hestia as the major deities of the Greek pantheon. Now, for the thirteenth Prime -" She gestured to Bulkhead's question, " Historians have debated on whether or not to include Dionysus as an olympian. If we were to include him, that would make thirteen Olympians, for thirteen Primes. They were worshipped, praised, and feared for their mystical powers. It's safe to say that your Primes have left quite the influence on human history."

There was a certain kind of excitement inside of Amanda. The myths, legends, lore were all true. Mankind once fought amongst titans, amongst _gods_ . They fell under curses and fought demons, using magic to disguise science they have yet to understand. The stories her father would read to her before bed were more than fiction, they were _history_.

" So the staff is a weapon of the Primes?" Smokescreen grimaced, " It doesn't seem that practical or powerful to me."

" I have to agree with him on this one," Arcee lifted the staff carefully in one hand." It doesn't seem like a weapon."

" No, I think it's a prank.”

Bumblebee beeped at that, mimicking everyone's questioning look.

" Who would waste precious Cybertronian metal and technology to prank others?" Ratchet crossed his arms, giving room for Amanda to explain.

" Hermes would. As the myth goes, Hermes was well known for being a prankster, playing practical jokes on both gods and mortals. Hermes may be considered as the herald of the gods, the protector of human travelers, merchants, and orators. But he was also the protector of thieves, the god of mischief and deception." Amanda frowned, “ One of your Primes seems to have a knack for trouble .”

" Wait," Smokescreen interrupted, " If the myths and legends are true then we have to assume this happened before The War of the Primes right?"

" The what?" The children asked. Amanda followed with a questioning gaze. " What war?"

A grim shadow fell across Optimus's face. Ultra Magnus stepped in, "According to our history, The War of the Primes was a conflict that took place between factions that formed among the members of the Thirteen following the defeat of Unicron."

" It was a cataclysmic event," Optimus sighed, " A tragic betrayal amongst friends."

Amanda shuddered at the image of titans clashing, continuing, " I believe if we trace back the origins of this staff we can find more of these relics."

" Or even better, we can find a weapon of the Primes !" Bulkhead clanked his fists together, " And turn the tide on this war."

“ Good work, Ms.Laurent,” Optimus thanked.

As always, Ultra Magnus's gaze would always find her through the commotion. They softened under the light, praising her. She shot back a smile, trying to swallow the fluttering in her stomach.

* * *

The temperature abruptly drops as they enter the massive underground chamber, sending a violent chill down Amanda’s spine. The light reaches neither wall nor ceiling, confining vision to a small circle of yellow cast by her flashlight; inky black water sloshing against a narrow strip of land, disappearing into the darkness

She held out a hand, “ Watch your step, Raf.”

The boy climbed over a boulder, hopping to her side. Behind him, a flood of light poured out of Bumblebee’s torch. Ultra Magnus’s and Optimus’s footsteps followed, sending light tremors beneath her shoes.

“ Thanks for letting me come with you,” He beamed. Amanda ruffled the boy’s hair.

When Amanda suggested they go to Turkey, Optimus decided it’ll be best if he tagged along. A wise decision, considering that they were dealing with relics of a Prime. It doesn’t escape her for one second just how powerful Optimus was. From a human perspective, he was a literal _demigod_ – the closest reincarnation you can have to a deity. The only thing that differentiates him from heroic figures like Perseus and Hercules was his humility, void of any arrogance, Optimus was the leader these heroes never were.

The relic was unearthed from the Northern parts of Europe, no doubt brought to the country by pilgrims in the late 1800s. Tracing its origins proved harder than expected, but a breakthrough suggested that they go to the forgotten city of Troy, better known as the modern city of Canakkale. In the myths, Hermes acted as a counselor and guide to the Trojan King Priam in his attempt to reclaim the body of his fallen son Hector. Ironically, Hermes actually supported the Achaeans in the Trojan War.

The heritage site has several pantheons dedicated to the messenger God still intact. Protected by _UNESCO_ , it was almost impossible to get in without being spotted by tourists and security. Thankfully, the city was built upon ancient mining tunnels, as Troy was known for its riches. It wasn’t difficult to find an entrance to one of the caverns leading underground.

As for Raf, he wanted to come along.

“ My class will be starting a new chapter for our history class next week. I want to see Troy first hand since we’ll be starting Greek mythology soon.” He explained, “ Also Jack and Miko are in school right now practicing for their end of year play, it’s mandatory, but not for me. I would love the company.”

Optimus had no qualms about it, considering that Bumblebee will be coming with. He and Amanda didn’t have the heart to say no to him. Ratchet will also be standing by with a Ground Bridge, making it seem less dangerous. It was Ultra Magnus who had initially questioned it.

Yet, one look from Amanda was enough to make him give in, albeit reluctantly. She tries not to give in to her evil side and start utilizing her puppy eyes for other purposes, who knows how much tries she has left before the effect wears off on her guardian.

Bumblebee let out a series of beeps, gesturing for Raf to climb over his palm. The boy settled on the scout’s shoulder, collecting his breath.

“ Oxygen levels are thinning.” Optimus retracted his faceplate, lowering his phasers. “ Do you wish to proceed, Ms.Laurent?"

Amanda watched the hand Ultra Magnus hovered beside her, waving it away with a smile. “Yeah. It's okay, I got this.”

“ You must conserve your energy,” He argued.

Yet, Amanda climbed over a slab, venturing deeper.

* * *

“ The story starts with a wedding. The sea-goddess Thetis is marrying a mortal man and all the gods and goddesses are invited except one – Eris, the goddess of discord. Angered, she throws a golden apple into the party, bearing the inscription ‘to the most beautiful’. Three goddesses all claim it for themselves, and the king of the gods, Zeus, not willing to get involved himself, picks the Trojan prince Paris as the judge. The goddess of love, Aphrodite, wins the competition as she has promised Paris possession of the most beautiful woman on earth, Helen. There’s just one problem. Helen is already married to Menelaus, king of the Greek city of Sparta.”

Amanda recounted the story to the three Autobots, smiling to herself when she found the others listening in.

“ Yet the goddess was bound to her promise, and before too long, Helen eloped with Paris from her royal court in Sparta to the Trojan palace. Helen’s husband, Menelaus – incited by his even more powerful brother, Agamemnon – assembled a large army of Achaean leaders to surround the city of Troy and held it under siege for a decade. In the tenth year of the war, Odysseus devised the ruse of the Trojan Horse, which finally brought the downfall of Troy. The Achaeans raided the city and set it afire, slaughtering scores of innocent people and desecrating too many hallowed grounds to escape the subsequent wrath of the gods. As a result, few of them managed to return safely to their homes; and those who did may have been the less fortunate ones.”

As the grim story ends, Miko placed her hand on her hips. “ All that for one woman?”

“ All is fair in love and war.” Amanda sighed, “ Helen of Sparta, was said to have been the most beautiful woman in the world. Bewitched by her beauty, she seized the hearts of Paris and Menelaus, blinding them with love. Wouldn't - "

Ultra Magnus interrupted their session, waiting for her by the ground bridge. She couldn't name the look he had in his eyes.

”Wouldn’t you do anything for the person you love ?”

* * *

Ultra Magnus isn’t fond of change. Amanda could tell. Sure, he can adapt, but he would schedule all his activities beforehand, planning his steps carefully. The commander always strives to be productive, not wanting to waste time. She could see it in the way he would talk about punctuality, in the way he would cross his arms whenever she suddenly changes plans and in the way he stares at her when she’s slow to give him an overdue report.– “ Consistency is key.”

Amanda would never admit it aloud, but she secretly admires the trait, even if she can never understand it.

She was used to change – sometimes she imagines her life as a movie. At times, her director will roll the tapes slowly, unraveling her story little by little, before slapping the audience with a twist. Life would catch her by surprise, forcing her to take risks and sharp turns. She's come to enjoy it. Amanda blames it on the job, being an actress is no different from playing Russian Roulette. – “There’s no use in planning because you know what kind of plan never fails? No plan at all.”

Ultra Magnus could only sigh at that, seeing that there’s no room to argue with her on the matter.

This time, she felt as if they’ve reversed roles. Someone had switched their scripts, and now she’s unusually terrified of change while he acts like nothing’s changed.

After the incident by the cliff, going back to their normal pace would be wishful thinking. Amanda hated walking on eggshells, and with someone as blunt as Ultra Magnus, she shouldn’t have to. Even if it didn’t bother her as much, it was enough for her to notice how – er, _protective_ he has become.

Every time she wants to go out of the base, he would interrogate her like a cop by the European border (she had to swallow the urge of showing him her papers.) It was useless, considering that he would be the one to take her anyways. No one else seemed to notice, even if anyone did, they did not comment on it.

She decided the best way to assure him that she can do more than handle herself, is to show him.

The last thing Amanda wanted was to become too dependent.

She tried shrugging off the look he was giving her, standing on her tiptoes to go over the large boulder. The team has decided to split up to cover more space. Even if it wasn’t the greatest idea, they didn’t have a choice when they came face to face with three tunnels. Now alone with her guardian, he looked down at her from the other side, silent as she whined to herself.

“ Do you require assistance?” He offered and she shook her head, panting, “ No thank you.”

After a few more minutes of struggling, Ultra Magnus wrapped his fingers around her. “ Hey!” She squeaked.

“ Why are you so stubborn? You’re wasting your breath.”

She ignored how he still has his fingers around her torso. “ I can do it myself.”

“ We’ve discussed this,” He frowned, “ I don’t think you’re incompetent. I simply don’t see the use in watching you struggle.”

Amanda gave in. “ I’m sorry. I’ll ask for help, next time, promise.”

He released his grip, lifting his hand away, only to be met with a sharp squeal. There was the sound of ripping fabric, alerted, Ultra Magnus examined her.

“ Have I hurt you?” His voice was rushed as he knelt to bring her closer, only to have her step away.

“ N-no!” Worry flickered across his eyes and Amanda was quick to fix it. “You didn’t – _shit_ , uh. You didn’t hurt me, Ultra Magnus, b-but you did rip my...shirt.”

Only when he looked at his hand did he realize that the fabric of her shirt had been caught in the seams of his fingers, the white material that once belonged to a proper button-up shirt stuck between the junction of his thumb. She cleared her throat, hands wrapped around the exposed part of her top.

A look of distress still shadowed over him.“ Are you sure you’re not injured?”

She shook her head, not knowing how to explain to a fifty-foot-tall alien that she had just _flashed_ him. Even if she was still in her bra, it felt like she had just given him a show, “ I- I have a spare set of change in my pack.”

He was still looking at her.

She chuckled nervously, using one hand to drag her fallen bag. As she rummaged through her belongings, she gave him a long-overdue explanation – “ You see, humans, we cover ourselves not only to protect our body but to also cover our, um, intimate areas.”

She had never seen Ultra Magnus turn around so quickly

“ I see.”

She pulled out the long-sleeved shirt over her head, stopping midway – “Wait. I thought Cybertronians reproduce asexually, from The Well of Allspark? S-surely you have no issue with ah, intimacy ?”

He shifted on one foot. “ I –“

The cave shook, dirt raining from the ceiling. Amanda quickly got dressed, snatching her hat as Ultra Magnus placed her on his shoulder. The tremors stopped, his comms beeping – “ Ultra Magnus, what is your status?”

He pointed his flashlight to the tunnel, the darkness seemingly endless, “We haven’t come across any threats, sir. We are still on our way to reach the endpoint.”

“ Proceed with caution,” Optimus warned, “ I’ve detected a surge of energy ahead. Bumblebee and Raf will be joining you shortly.”

“ Affirmative, sir.”

It was only after a few steps did Ultra Magnus voice his concern, “ I apologize. You must have valued that garment.” She waved it off, even if she actually did like the shirt. “ It’s fine. Wardrobe malfunctions, nothing unusual.”

He seemed to struggle in apologizing for the incident, and to put him out of misery she cleared her throat, “ I think we better continue. Hm?” That was enough for them to drop the matter, allowing her to hide the flushing across her cheeks under the shadows.

* * *

The columns were the only complete thing, everything else had worn and crumbled - their decay illuminated by the light shining in, revealing the sculptures. They were now so close to the surface that Amanda could hear the swarm of tourists above, unaware of the secrets hidden beneath their feet. The area seemed untouched, abandoned because of how difficult it was to navigate through the tunnels. Thankfully, Amanda had a set of muscles with her – lifting rocks and boulders away as if they weigh nothing.

She stopped her mind from going any further, clapping her hands and hearing it echo, “ These sculptures, they’re made out of stone.”

Ultra Magnus took a quick scan, “ There’s no trace of Cybertronian metal. However- “ He brought it closer to the ground. A satisfied smile allowed itself to spread across his lips, “ We’ve found an Energon reserve.”

A slight tremor shook the ceiling, scaring the hundreds of bats by the mouth of the cavern. With much screeching the air above them was instantly alive with a flurry of black skin stretched over bone. They swooped, evacuating in a hurry. Amanda squealed, jumping behind Ultra Magnus’s shoulder pad.

He shielded her with one arm until it passes, “ Okay, that’s proof that no one’s been here for at least a decade.”

Amanda glanced at the pulsing stick that’s seemingly attracted to the ground. “ I think we just found Hermes’s wine cellar.”

* * *

They made quick work of recovering the buried Energon, happy to find that it’s been unearthed and crystalized. Amanda assumed the god, or Prime, must have kept a supply for himself. He stored them in a makeshift cellar that reminded her more of a catacomb. Anyone in the ancient times would have steered clear, not wanting to desecrate a holy ground and anger a god. A deposit this big should have appeared in their scanners, but Hermes wasn’t planning to share. It was only when they brought the staff did the reserve reacted to their scanners, a cunning display of both science and magic.

Bumblebee chirped beside her, his door wings fluttering.

“ Bee says the Energon could last them for cycles!” Raf laughed. The two continued to cheer excitedly with one another. Ultra Magnus pushed the remaining crates into the Ground Bridge. Optimus and he exchanged a few words, leaving Amanda to observe the scriptures carved against the walls.

The caduceus perched proudly over the walls, spanning to about forty feet. The two snakes seemed to blink their eyes at her, carved out of two ruby gems.

“ The Energon signal should have alerted the Decepticons by now, we should leave.” Amanda followed her guardian, dusting the dirt off her pants. Bumblebee gave a whir, gesturing to Raf.

“ Is it possible if we stay and, uh, explore the city?” Raf wrung his hands together, “ We’ll be safe with the crowd, and I doubt the Decepticons will even know we’re there. Besides…I’ve always wanted to try Turkish ice cream.”

Amanda turned to Ultra Magnus, who seemed to have made up his mind. Optimus, on the other hand, tended to be more lenient when it comes to the boy. “ I do not see the harm in wanting to try the country’s ice cream. As long as you make haste and stay with Bumblebee.”

Ultra Magnus almost flinched at that. “ With all due respect, sir, it’s a risk we shouldn’t take.”

“ The Decepticons do not know we are here. If you use the Ground Bridge, you can evacuate the site before they arrive.”

“ Yip, yip, yip! The Ground Bridge is _not_ to be utilized for fun!” A voice grumbled from the other side of the portal, followed by a couple of angry clicking, “ I can’t keep it open for too long, better make up your mind.”

“ It’ll just be for a while.” Amanda reasoned, “ If you’re worried, we don’t have to stay in this city. I know a place where Ratchet can drop us off. I think we deserve a proper celebration for what we found today, don’t you think?”

Ultra Magnus gave her a scowl, and Amanda pouted her lips. Sighing, as if he couldn’t understand why he's giving in, Ultra Magnus crossed his arms. “ We will be quick.”

* * *

“ He’s not bullying her, Ultra Magnus.” Raf laughed, “ It’s a marketing strategy. Turkish vendors are famous for their tricks, playing and messing around with customers. The surrounding people will start to stare and this creates a snowball effect, with more people pausing to watch and buy.”

From the distance, Raf and the two disguised Autobots watch on as Amanda’s laughter attracted a small crowd. She had her sunglasses perched above her hat, the material shielding her from the onslaught of rays.

Behind them, _The Grand Bazaar_ stretched for miles, bustling with life. They were initially only here for ice cream, as promised, yet before he knew it, she had disappeared into the crowd only to emerge with several bags in hand.

Ultra Magnus didn't understand how he could be roped into allowing her to get away with that.

“ The vendor will start a competition between you and him. You can actually touch the cone or even hold it, but never take it, because every single time the vendor will trick you with a move of his. He will let you think that it’s about to fall, stick it to your nose, and confuse you with his tricks.” The boy chuckled. “ I think I’ll give it a try.”

With an encouraging beep from Bumblebee, the boy left them. Amanda immediately asked Raf to try, teasingly joking with the man. It took a while, but once Raf finally caught the cone, the crowd clapped. She made a move to give her card, only to have the man put his hand in front of her. “ No, no,” He said, shaking his head, “ I give you and your son for free.”

Amanda insisted. The man extended his hand, kissing the back of her palm.

“ It’s my pleasure. Please, you are very beautiful.” Amanda laughed at that, showing her teeth. As they left, Raf was bouncing in excitement, savoring the dessert. They barely made it out of the crowd when a man stopped her halfway, striking up a conversation.

Ultra Magnus revved his engines impatiently.

She nodded a quick goodbye, only to have a cafe patron flag her down, jogging up to her from his seat. He excitedly pointed to his phone. They took a selfie, and another, and another. In a blink of an eye, she was being swarmed by a group of people, all lining up for a photograph. Bumblebee chirped in confusion, visibly worried for Raf.

The plaza forbids Ultra Magnus from going any closer, forcing him to watch by the sidewalk. When a man tried to put his arm around her, Ultra Magnus let out a sharp honk. The crowd flinched, allowing room for escape. Amanda jogged to the rig, hauling herself into the seats. She waved at the window as they drive away, still laughing to herself.

" I didn't expect them to recognize me !" She gestured to her hair with one hand, holding the cone with another. " Apparently, _Picket Fences_ is a hit in Turkey. I was only there for a season !"

He wrapped the seatbelt around her, earning a surprised squeak.

" They could have compromised your identity." She frowned at his stern warning. " The Decepticons have access to your World Wide Web. You shouldn't be so careless next time."

Behind them the Camaro followed, driving down the streets.

" I thought we were only here for 'ice cream'," He reprimanded, " Do you have an explanation as to why you decided to bring back these bags with you?"

" Please don't be mad. They were on sale and I could've taken hours but I didn't, I was only gone for roughly thirty minutes." She pouted, " As for the pictures, it's not like I have control over it. At least we've already transported all the Energon out of here."

" I am not angry." He sighed, " Exercise better caution next time."

At that she smiled at the side view mirror, blowing him a playful kiss, "You're the best, Ultra Magnus !" 

She licked the base of the cone, catching the stray drops. " _Tsk_. It's melting, I don't want to make a mess against your seats."

She fished a packet of tissues out of her bag, discarding the shopping bags over the passenger seat. " It can get sticky."

There was a moment. She leaned against the crack he’d open by his window, feeling the thrum of his fans under her fingers.

" Were you hurt?"

She shook her head, " No, but thanks for saving me back there, my knight in shining armor."

He huffed at that, turning to an alley and requesting for Ground Bridge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Amanda is becoming quite spoiled with Ultra Magnus, don't worry, he's starting to catch on to her lol. I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. As for the ice cream, it's called Dondurma ! I went to Turkey last year and experienced getting tricked by the vendor first hand, you can find several videos of it on youtube, it's very entertaining. xx


	12. all is fair in love and war

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone ! I hope you're ready for more lore <3  
> Please read the end notes as they are important. I hope everyone is well and healthy, thank you to those who took their time to write your feedbacks , you know how happy they make me xx  
> Please enjoy this chapter !

Under different circumstances, it could have been romantic.

A determined stalk of flower emerged from the cracks by the pavement, unfurling across the marble floor. They coiled around the looming pillars, daunting beneath the thin sheen of light ebbing from the moon. The sky was devoid of any clouds, blown away by the breeze rolling from the West. Perched by the cliffside, she could hear the groaning of the sea below, crashing against the rocks.

“ Are you certain it’s here?”

Amanda lifted the shield in her hands, trailing her fingers over the carvings. The flowers surrounded her, wild and untamed they followed the gentle sway of the wind. “ Myrtles. The symbol of Aphrodite, we’re here.”

“Whoever carried this shield in the past, must have devoted themselves to the goddess.” She pointed a finger to the center of the shield.“ This is the symbol for Venus, the Roman equivalent of Aphrodite. The altar might be abandoned, but whatever we’re looking for is here. I’m sure.”

She pulled her coat tighter around herself, feeling the dress around her ankles flutter. “ The goddess Aphrodite protected the ancient city of Corinth. She had at least three sanctuaries here; this, however, was the most famous one. The Temple of Aphrodite at Acrocorinth.”

Amanda sighed dreamily, soaking in the feeling. She was standing in the heart of Greece. She had never been to Athens before, now that she’s here, the pictures on the magazines didn’t do it any justice. Snapping out of her trance, Ultra Magnus was already ahead of her, scouting the area.

“ What made this temple renowned?” At his interest, Amanda jogged after him eagerly. Until she remembers the story.

Immediately closing her mouth, she cleared her throat.

“ Aphrodite was the ancient Greek goddess of love and beauty, otherwise known as Venus by the Romans. Those who prayed to her would offer their blessings…differently. While worshippers of other gods would bring back sacrifices and offer money, the sacred prostitutes of Corinth would service the sailors docking by the city’s port. Travelers from all across Greece would wheeze up the thousand-odd steps to the top of a stunning crag of rock called the Acrocorinth.”

She gestured around them, “ There they would pass beneath the marble columns of the Temple of Aphrodite, goddess of Beauty and Love, within whose incense-filled, candlelit confines thousands of comely priests.”

He had stopped walking.

Understanding dawned across his face.

“ They would…interface upon this altar?”

For a fraction of a second, she caught his eyes darkening.

“ Yes.” She answered, a little too breathlessly.

“ I see.”

“ The temple of Aphrodite was once so rich that it had acquired more than a thousand prostitutes, donated by both men and women to the service of the goddess. And because of them, the city used to be jam-packed and became wealthy. The ship-captains would spend fortunes there, and so the proverb says: 'The voyage to Corinth isn’t for just any man.'" She quoted, recounting the three-line report by Strabo she had to read for her mid-terms.

" Interface?" Amanda turned to him, " I don't mean to be rude, but Cybertronians, you, they..."

" Copulate? Yes." Ultra Magnus's voice was firmer this time. " I am aware that organic life-forms procreate through a comparatively quick, self-contained, and straightforward procedure. Cybertronian reproduction is...a complicated affair."

Knowing that he wanted to drop the matter, Amanda decided not to push. _Maybe that's why he didn't want to discuss about it on the beach._

" Let's continue." With that Ultra Magnus walked ahead of her, leaving Amanda to keep her thoughts on a tight leash.

* * *

As expected, Fowler wasn’t so happy with what happened in Turkey. The pictures surfaced on the internet not long after, appearing in several social media platforms. Thankfully, Raf was quick to replace them with his trademark ‘ _dancing monkey gif_ ’. Fowler’s team quickly removed any articles swimming around the internet, and Amanda couldn’t hide her irritation at the headlines.

“You’re lucky that we can remove these pictures for you.” Fowler scowled, “Although, a lot of folks seem to be apprehensive with whether it was really you. The debate should be settled soon, it seems like the internet already decided that the woman in the picture is one convincing doppelgänger.”

“ I told you,” Amanda sighed, “ I’m not that famous. I can assure you, no one in Jasper would suspect a thing.”

Fowler gave in, slouching his shoulders because he knew she was right. They can’t be too quick to assume the Decepticon’s knew of her existence, considering that Starscream was still going solo. Even if they did, it was almost impossible to trace the location of their base all the way from Istanbul.

She returned Raf’s laptop, allowing him to scrap the article. “But I understand that I should be more careful, and I will.”

“ You better be,” Fowler warned. The former army ranger searched for his next target, stalking over to Optimus.

“ Penny for your thoughts?” June beckoned her over, noticing that she was visibly upset. Amanda shrugged, “ The articles - you know how Hollywood is, it’s brutal.”

“ What did they say?”

“ More like what they didn’t,” Amanda pushed back her hair, “ I didn’t act in _Pride and Prejudice_ only to be called someone’s ex-fiancé.”

The nurse draped a comforting hand against her back, “ That was the past.”

She watched the red and blue mech. Ultra Magnus had his back turned to her, deep in discussion with Ratchet. “ Yeah, it was.”

* * *

Amanda beckoned Ultra Magnus to come closer, gesturing at the image. The painting was sculpted purely out of stone, encircling the tomb. It stood in the center, directly under a moon gate. She used her hands to wipe away the dust, wasting no time to decipher the clue.

“ I think I found it,” She lugged the shield to her side, matching it with the carving. “ This is it. The shield. It belongs to Adonis.”

She stood up, backing away at the revelation. “I think – I think this is similar to Belle’s story. One of your Primes must have fallen in love with a human.”

His stare encouraged her to elaborate. “ This is his resting ground. Adonis is not buried here, but this tomb was erected in his name. It's illustrated here, you see - in here the goddess is seen embracing him in a field of roses." She encircled the crypt," There's a story behind that.

Aphrodite fell in love with Adonis, a mortal hunter. One day, Adonis went into the forest in search of animals and did so forgetting a piece of advice that the Greek goddess had given him. The advice Aphrodite had given him was that he should be very careful with animals that seemed not to be afraid. However, Adonis ignored this warning and came upon a wild boar.

When she heard of her beloved Adonis’ severe wounds. She ran, blinded by love, and thorns sliced at her feet as she moved. Her blood mixed with the thorns, bound them into a new shape, dangerously lovely: the red rose. The symbol of passion, adoration and love. She flew to Adonis’ side, but not fast enough; and she wept as he died in her arms.

It’s said that the wild boar was Ares, the god of war, and the ex-lover of Aphrodite, who was jealous of the goddess of love’s adoration of Adonis. She must have built this shield for him, most likely after his death. Out of guilt, perhaps? Of not being able to save her lover. C-Could it be that this matched the description of your Primes?”

“We must inform Optimus.” Ultra Magnus suddenly sounded frantic, scaring Amanda. “ What do you mean?”

The coastline was beginning to grow restless, the wind howling louder than they should. “ I believe your suspicions are correct.” 

* * *

She shouldn’t be surprised by the idea of interspecies relationships by now. Imagine her shock last week when she discovered that _Amelia Earheart_ was married to her plane. Apparently, all it took was one grainy photograph for Smokescreen to notice the insignia by the side of the wing – “ Hey, isn’t that a flier’s symbol before the war? We learned about it at the academy.”

Yesterday alone, Amanda spent an entire evening trying to prove her theory – she was betting money on the idea that the _1961 Imperial Crown_ in _Breakfast at Tiffany's_ was a Decepticon. The car hardly looked like it was made by the _Chrysler Motor Company_ , there was no way she would buy the fact that they can build a car that savvy in the sixties. June owed her five dollars when they caught the trademark insignia sitting atop the roof of her car – after more thorough digging, Amanda recovered evidence that he was friends with THE _Audrey Hepburn_. How else can they explain the mysterious self- driving car pulling by her grave everyday on her birthday for several years – some said it even inspired Stephen King to write ‘ _Mr.Mercedes_.’

Then there was _Ken Miles_ and his near historic win. She didn’t need to dig far to uncover the bond he shared with his car.

However, there was something monumental in discovering the fact that a Prime once loved a mortal.

“ Among the Thirteen, Solus Prime is the Maker and creator. She finds joy in creation, which is why she's particularly close friends to Nexus Prime, Micronus Prime, and Onyx Prime - who revel in similar pursuits. Her closest relationship, however, is to Megatronus.” Optimus recounted as if reading off one of his datapads. “ The two are bound by a close devoted romantic love, unique among the Thirteen. It is said that they spend much of their time online and off rejoicing in each other's presence. Although the depth of their relationship remains unwritten, it has been said that they were inseparable.”

“ Their story inspired various sonnets and poems back in Cybertron, becoming a source of inspiration for romantic literature.” He continued.

“ Yeah, like your Frankenstein !” Smokescreen nodded.

“ Uh – I don’t think that’s considered and romantic literature.” Jack rubbed the back of his neck. “You’re saying Solus was Aphrodite?”

“ I thought Aphrodite was the goddess of love?” Miko asked, “ Solus Prime doesn’t fit the description.”

“ Solus Prime was a forger, right ?” Amanda offered, “ In the myths, Aphrodite’s lover may be Ares, but her husband was Hephaestus. Perhaps, she had taken his name as well – posing as the blacksmith of the gods ? She pretended to be two different people to better fit the social norms of Ancient Greece - when in reality, Aphrodite and Hephaestus were two halves of who she was. Love and Creation.”

“ Not to mention that she most likely had other names as well – in Norse mythology, she could have been Freyja. The goddess of love _and_ war.” She added.

Satisfied with the explanation, the children fell into their own discussion. Optimus took this as a sign to continue.

“ Following the defeat of Unicron, upon the next two million years, the Primes ruled benevolently; Solus Prime became known for her relationship with Megatronus. However, some of the Primes grew arrogant, and sought to preserve their hold on power by claiming that they were functionally immortal: it was falsely claimed that only a Prime could kill a Prime.

When Megatronus revolted, he tried to convince Solus Prime to join him. She rejected his vision, arguing that the Primes needed to use their powers to "light the way," not destroy indiscriminately. This rejection pushed him to execute a coup against Prima, the first of the thirteen.”

“ Megatronus was like your people’s Judas then – the traitor.” June offered. Ratchet nodded grimly at that. “ The Fallen. He who started the War of the Primes.”

“ Is that why Solus left him – because she suspected that he was losing his way?”

“ It is a possibility that she sought refuge on Earth to comfort herself, Ms.Laurent. It is an even greater possibility that Megatronus had killed Adonis out of anger and jealousy. For when this treachery was revealed, Solus was able to defend Prima from the traitors, but at the cost of her own life—she was slain by her former lover, Megatronus, and impaled on her own Star Sabre.”

June recoiled, “ How could he? She was – he loved her, didn’t he?”

There was a sourness in her mouth. Amanda’s stomach sank.

“ How do we activate the shield then?” Arcee asked, chasing away the dark cloud hanging above them.

“ I’m not sure – I’m sorry.”

“ There is no need to feel sorry, Ms.Laurent.” Optimus encouraged. “ In time, we will know.”

* * *

“ Compassion, empathy, anger, ideology, loyalty – they flashed before Megatronus’s face as he turned Solus’s own Star Saber upon her. She reached out to place a hand across his cheek, only to be met by the coldness of his spark. It was told that Megatronus cradled her body against the wreckage for days. _There is no love_ , he chanted, _there is no love in war_.”

* * *

As always, she can feel him watching her. She stared ahead, watching the moon ripple by the sea. They’ve returned to the temple to scour for any more leads, once they realize that they’ve come to a dead-end, she decided to sit by the steps to watch the scenery.

Now by her side, she beckons him to sit with her.

“ What are you reading?”

She glanced at the paper in her hands – the pages barely held together by a paperclip. “ It’s a poem about Aphrodite. Do you want to hear it?”

When he nodded, she chased the light of the moon to read it.

“ They say she was born from the sea. She was made from no man and she never had a mother. You can see it; her hair is like waves crashing on the rocks; her skin is like the wings of a bird slicing through the water; she is more beautiful than any maiden adorning the bow, and when she’s angry her eyes are like the sky that melts into the sea. They say she was born from the sea. And she’s just as lonely and just willing to swallow the world.” *

There was a moment where he pondered upon the poem – following her gaze into the open.

“ Is something bothering you?”

She smiled at that – “ You know me too well.”

“ You are not usually this quiet.”

She studied the seams of his armor; the way metal effortlessly wove itself around him. She trailed up his arms, his chest, before meeting his gaze. Amanda felt as if she had been caught red-handed, wanting to look away – only to find that she can’t. Her breathing slowed.

“ I’ve always admired Aphrodite. This beautiful, lonely, goddess. She was the oldest amongst the twelve Olympians, and even if it’s not the case between the Primes – I like to think it was because love was older than existence itself. Love has always been there, waiting.

Yet, Aphrodite was loved by all yet loved by none. It’s sad, how everyone adores her, but all she wanted to be was loved. First, she had lost Ares - Megatronus, then she lost Adonis. In the end, she died in the hands of someone who should have loved her. In the end, love turned its back on her. It took from her, even if she had so much to give.”

His eyes widened in surprise, only to soften in sympathy.

“ Did you know, the Greeks believed that in the beginning of time, when humans were first created, they had a form different to that they have today? They had four arms, four legs, and a single head made of two faces.” She raised her hands, making a motion of joining her fingers together. “The gods, angered by their pride and hubris, split the humans in half as a punishment. Humans everywhere split in two.”

Amanda pulled her fingers apart, “ These new creatures were living in complete misery, drenched in their pain and sorrow. They were so sad that they wouldn’t eat or drink for days, not caring if they died.”

The rolling grey of clouds rapidly becomes as invisible as the moon it conceals, but the air still feels humid. Thunder rumbled in the distance.

“ They roam the earth in longing for their soul and other half. According to the myth, when these two halves find each other, there will be a silent understanding of one another, they will feel joined and exist with each other in unison and will know no greater joy than that.”

Under the void sky, the water was dark, without the speckles of light that come with a starry night, rocks jutted out of the unforgiving sea, monstrous black waves rear up, lashing out with white foam claws.

“ I grew up believing the stories – but after everything, I’m starting to doubt it’s integrity.” She chuckled bitterly.

“ I have heard of a similar folktale back in Cybertron.” Amanda snapped her head up so fast she thought she might have dislocated it. He frowned in thought, “ Your belief in soulmates is no different from the notion of spark mates.”

“ Do you believe in that –in other halves?”

If Amanda told anyone that she had invited Ultra Magnus into a philosophical debate about love and existence in the middle of Athens, Greece – out of all the places - they would have laughed at her. It was ridiculous, to imagine the second in command talking about anything other than mission reports or military regulations. Yet, Amanda knew better.

That’s why the shock wore off once he indulged her – “ No. It is what you would call – ‘a child’s tale’. A story you would tell to comfort sparklings.”

She tilted her head at his honesty. _Of course_ , she thought to herself, _what were you thinking asking_ –

“ Yet,” He paused, “ Perhaps it has its merits.”

“ D-do you have someone special waiting for you? After the war is done, do you have someone to come home to?” She tries not to let her voice shake. Amanda convinced herself that she was asking out of curiosity, ignoring the sudden rush of boldness. He watched the waves crash into the shore, dragging its fingers back into the deep.

“ No.” He hesitated. There was more, but he settled with silence.

Amanda smiled in understanding, placing her hand next to his.

“ What about your family?”

“My family? My aunts are currently living their life in Belgium right now. I haven’t had the chance to talk to them ever since I arrived – not like Fowler would allow me anyways. We’re used to the distance, we all have things to do.” It was true, Amanda thought, even if the distance kept them apart – they didn’t have to question their love.

“ What about your sire ?”

“ My father –“ She sucked in a breath, “ My father died when a few years back. He had heart problems and even if we got treatment for him, we knew his time was near.”

“ I am sorry for your loss. I did not mean to remind you of a painful time.”

“ It’s okay. I’m not sad anymore. I was – but then I knew he wouldn’t want me to spend the rest of my life moping over him. Besides, I didn’t have any regrets because we were always there for each other. As for my mother – that’s a different story. We never get along.”

She shrugged, “As for someone special – I think the cat’s out of the bag.”

A heartbeat passed, and another.

“If you are not inclined to share, you don’t have to.”

She shook her head, “I used to be engaged. Long story short, I was ready to make sacrifices, he wasn’t – so when the time came for him to choose between me and his career. He chose the latter.”

“He left you.”

The edge in his tone was hard to miss.

Amanda let out a sigh. The cold onshore breeze blew right through her dress and she bowed her head to one side, closing her eyes to keep out the salty sting. Her hair fell loose about her face, tousled, tangled.

She plucked a stray Myrtle, cutting it by its bud - its petals in full bloom. “It’s nothing new.”

The flower fluttered down the steps, disappearing into the wind. A myriad of unspoken words swarmed the air, filling the empty spaces between them. His eyes were strong, calculating, _concerned_.

“Enough of that – it’s a beautiful night, I wouldn’t want to waste it on being sad. Oh, I know! Let’s go to the night market! I hear there’s one downtown, I can grab dinner there and we can eat somewhere together. Then we can go sightseeing !"

She continued rambling, listing down all the places they could go to. Ultra Magnus couldn’t find it in himself to stop her, watching the way her hands move around animatedly.

“ And don’t worry,” Amanda rummaged through her pack – pulling out an Energon cube. “It was starting to get heavy, but I came prepared.”

Ultra Magnus raised a brow, “ You planned this.”

Amanda smiled smugly at the accusation, “What? Me? Plotting behind your back? Oh, Ultra Magnus, _I would never_.”

He accepted the cubes, placing them in his subspace. “ Are you cold?” He gestured to her bare shoulders and Amanda waved it off – “ Not really, I wanted to bring my coat but I think it ruins the look.”

She twirled in her white chiffon dress, the sleeves pooling around her shoulders. It wasn't the most practical choice of wardrobe, but she wouldn't pass up a chance to wear it on such a lovely night. Ultra Magnus wasn't wrong, she did sort of - enthusiastically, planned this.

“ You would risk the cold just for the sake of looking presentable?” He frowned.

“ For fashion,” She sighed melodramatically, lifting herself up. Ever since she watched _Roman Holiday_ as a child, she couldn't shake off the magic in exploring ancient cities. There was a melancholic beauty to it, a long-forgotten history waiting to be explored. It would be a shame, Amanda thought, if she didn't dress for the occasion. She knew it was only cold because they were so high up the ground. “Besides, I know you’ll be here to keep me warm.”

The low sky imparts a claustrophobic tension, before releasing an onslaught of rain. Amanda squealed, laughing as she pulled herself closer to her guardian. Ultra Magnus was still sitting down, so she grabbed for his side – trying to shield herself from the sudden downpour. The rain bounced off his arms as he raised them above her, watching how she threw her head back in amusement.

Their eyes locked – within this tender moment, the world seemed to stop in its axis, waiting, holding its breath. There it was, the subtle pull of gravity, inching her closer until she finds herself leaning. She blames it on the warmth, the cold pushing her to keep her hands where they were. Her arms were so small, hugging the metal. 

Then thunder cuts itself through the clouds – breaking them out of their trance. Amanda jumped, feeling her heart speed up at the noise. That’s when one of his hands come to rest around her body – shielding her. He watched the clouds cluster above them, letting a smile slip through his lips.

He extended a finger, very delicately – as if she was glass, to move a strand of her hair away from her eyes, accidentally nudging her cheek. “ You're – “ He caught himself, stopping. “We should make haste, before this outdoor market you mentioned forces itself to close because of the rain.”

They descended the thousand marble steps, Amanda’s laughter drifting out into the night. In that brief moment of solitude, the pantheon sensed _it_ – feeding off their mirth. If one would look closely, the crumbling altar would appear whole again. Alive with a familiar song shared between two halves.

* * *

 _Oh sweet goddess_ , the roses asked, _why do you weep_? Aphrodite placed a delicate hand above his cheeks. _I weep for him_ , she cried, _I weep for my love_. His skin was cold and blue, limp above the bed of thorns. Her blood, red like ichor oozed out of her wound.

 _Oh lovely goddess_ , the birds asked, _why do you weep_ ? Her tears stained the forest ground, her screams echoed through the trees _.I weep for it hurts,_ she sobbed, _I weep for my aching heart_.

 _Oh beautiful goddess_ , death asked, _why do you weep_ ? The deity bent to kiss Adonis goodbye, knowing he no longer belonged with her. _I weep for you are here to take away my love from me,_ she moaned _, I weep for I am once again alone_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *https://richarddpapen.tumblr.com/post/96854134147/oh-lovely-goddess  
> This is where I got the poem of aphrodite, the one Amanda read aloud to Ultra Magnus ! Kudos to the writer for such a heartfelt poem xx
> 
> I hope you guys liked this chapter, I had to rewrite it a couple of times because I want to to make sure I got the ambiance right - if you're getting tired of the slowburn don't worry, future chapters will be more action packed !<3


	13. something greater than an army

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone ! I hope you are well, I'm here to give you a team bonding chapter because I need to live up to my tags. I also want to apologize for any grammar mistakes, I know it can get annoying and I know it's no excuse but english is my second language. (I'm Southeast Asian <3), however don't hesitate to point it out or correct me ! If anything I'm always looking to improve, so feel free to point out any mistakes ! xx  
> Enjoy !<3

If anyone would walk into the room at this very moment to find Amanda, June, and Ratchet, they would think they’ve just stumbled into a classic old western standoff. All they needed to do was have someone play _The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly_ on a guitar, and anyone walking in would think the tension in the air came from a _Sam Elliot_ film. The three of them didn’t say a word, acting as if a bomb would explode any second. They stared at one another, the clock on the wall ticking incessantly.

“Amanda,” Ratchet cleared his throat, “ Why are you asking me this?”

“ B-Because Aphrodite was the goddess of love – and if Solus Prime was her, she would have well,” Amanda shifted, “ She would have to…interface with a human, actually several, to live up to the tale. So, yeah, I’m just curious at how it…works.”

He narrowed his eyes.

June put her hands up, “ If you want me to leave – I’ll leave.”

Amanda knew the nurse was bluffing, the apparent smugness in her eyes gave away her interest. That’s why she didn’t miss the smirk she hid behind her fist when Ratchet said – “ No. You should stay. This is after all, educational. As beings that coexist with one another, it’s only natural if we know how each of our biologies works.”

They both straightened at the tone, mimicking students who were about to start an exam. The medic eyed the entrance – the children are out in patrol with their guardians and everyone else went to investigate a Decepticon signal. They could be back any minute now, which would explain why he was working twice as fast. He shoved a datapad in front of the two women to follow along with his explanation.

After half an hour of discussion, June was sitting on the couch with a satisfied smile whereas Amanda’s cheeks set themselves on fire as she leaned against the railing for support.

“ …A Cybertronian Pelvis is the frame component located on the lower level of the body, also interlinked with sixty-three other elements including the legs attached to it. A Cybertroian's pelvis, like a human's pelvis, is similar when it comes to the width. Carriers naturally have wider pelvises to complement the Maternal Conceiving Chamber, which holds the spark and body of a new protoform or sparkling. As for the sires - “

She held out a hand to stop the medic.

“ O-okay! I think – I think that’s enough.”

Ratchet closed his mouth – lips thinning. “ Are you sure you understood all that?”

“ Yes. We are not so biologically different from one another.” Amanda confirmed. “ But what was that bit about mass displacement ?”

“ Cybertronians displace their mass to allow scaling. For instance, it makes it easier for us to interact with smaller species when operating off-world. Or in the case of survival, to better hide from predators. In the early stages of the war, mass displacement was even known to be utilized for espionage. However, it is an ability we can’t exploit. Due to the Energon shortage caused by their war, mass displacement hasn't been used for a very long time. Before you ask where all that mass goes, the answer to this question is our subspaces.”

“ The space between your-“ June gestured –“ Your chests.”

Ratchet’s nod was enough to sedate half of the questions running around her head. “ Our species can reproduce both asexually and sexually. Asexual methods would refer to emerging from the Well of Allspark, but during the Great War, the AllSpark was ejected into space, and the Well have remained barren ever since. Our creator must have had the foresight of giving us a secondary method of reproduction, to ensure the continuity of our kind under such circumstances.”

“ Which is sexual reproduction,” June confirmed. “ Let’s say Solus had to keep up the guise of being Aphrodite, if she wanted to have sex with humans why didn't she just used her holoform?”

Amanda thanked June for asking the question she didn’t have the courage to ask – and the Medic stayed quiet for a moment, thinking. “ Maintaining one’s holoform is much harder compared to mass displacement. It sounds unlikely, yet whereas holomatters require us to generate and project an organic depiction of ourselves, mass displacement is no different from frame transformation, making it less difficult to maintain. However, I assume she was depicted in your history as someone who shares similar traits with humans?”

“ Y-yes but in paintings and sonnets, she was often hinted as otherworldly- which would hint subtle differences in biology. Although the idea of sex in her holomatter form sounds more believable, the latter would actually make more sense. I wouldn’t be surprised if she used mass displacement to well – make love.”

“ Then it is settled.”

“ Does this mean that our species are compatible when it comes to sex ?” June pressed on.

“ Obviously not when it comes to reproduction.” Ratchet countered. “ But yes – since we share similar anatomies when it comes to procreation, I believe we are compatible when it comes to interfacing - or as you call it, sex.”

Amanda rubbed her nape, glancing at June who was starting to look abashed. There it was again, the awkward tension forcing itself upon them. They were facing one another, yet no one could hold eye contact for long after the lengthy discussion. The computer’s humming ringing in her ears. Amanda glanced at the entrance. June tapped her feet on the floor, eyes glued on the datapad. Ratchet waited for further questions, his gaze scrutinizing - as if he wanted to guess what was running through her mind. A fly buzzed next to her ear – she swatted it away.

The clock struck twelve.

Amanda opened her mouth.

“ Ratchet, old friend - ”

It’s safe to say Optimus's audio receptors are injured after hearing Ratchet, Amanda and June scream all at once.

* * *

“ You mean I can’t go with you?” Amanda frowned. The Ground Bridge activated behind him, the gate extending itself to the coordinates set by the computer. Bulkhead and Bumblebee were waiting by the gate, conversing with Optimus.

Ultra Magnus knelt, using a palm to bring her to eye level. “ No. We have reason to believe that the Energon signal is a trap set by the Decepticons to lure us out of hiding. It’s too dangerous to bring you along for this recon mission.”

“ Okay,” She breathed out. “ Be careful, please?”

He curtly nodded at that.

“ Ugh – knock it off, Romeo and Juliet !” Amanda wiped away the smile off her face, not realizing that they’ve been standing there for a while. Ultra Magnus brought her next to Miko, glaring at the girl. Once the bridge closes, she gave Amanda an _are you serious_ look.

“ What?” Amanda laughed nervously.

“ You have him wrapped around your finger, don’t you?” Miko shook her head. Before Amanda could interject, June’s car pulled by the entrance. The nurse shut the door behind her, looking around. “Where’s everyone?”

“ They’re on a mission,” Amanda replied, “ It seems lonely without the boys too doesn’t it?”

Jack and Raf have both signed up for the boy scouts this year. Jack wanted to earn extra credits for his grades – not that he needed it while Raf wanted to experience camping for the very first time. Since the two of them can keep each other company, they decided there would be no better time than the weekend to ‘explore the wilderness.’ June, surprisingly, didn’t seem too worried – “ _Who are they kidding, the nearest rest area is just a mile away_.”

This leaves Miko sulking by the couch, without her guardian and friends, she was left to keep herself entertained. It’s a shame Ratchet’s busy today, if he was in a better mood, he would have let her practice her bass by the corner. She opened the fridge, wincing when there was only a half-empty bottle of soda – “ We’re out of snacks!”

That’s when the three found themselves in the supermarket. Miko has long disappeared in the snack’s alley, leaving Amanda and June to scour the produce. Amanda was a bit whiplashed at how quick the conversation as changing, one moment they were talking about June’s disastrous hospital shifts and suddenly they're talking about Amanda’s love life.

June laughed, “ You’re joking.”

Amanda placed a carton of milk inside the cart, “ Believe what you want, June, but I’ve been on a date with Ryan Gosling before."

“ H-how did you pass him up?” The nurse gaped. Amanda checked the expiry date on the back of a yogurt bottle, dumping it into the pile. “ It was one date. I just didn’t see my future with him. It was one date, he’s nice, but –“ Amanda made a face, going over the shelf. “ He’s not my type.”

“ Fair – but what exactly is your type?”

Amanda chewed her lip at that, brows furrowing. “ You know, funny thing is, I don’t think I have a type.”

June placed several cans of sodas into her cart, pushing next to Amanda. “ What about daring commanders who are strategically ingenious and courageous to the point of recklessness?”

“ I mean sure, I guess – but that’s so specific I don’t –“

“ Ultra Magnus.” June deadpanned, “ I just literally described Ultra Magnus.”

Amanda stared at the woman. Miko caught up to them, depositing her own handful of chips and cookies into the cart. “ What’s going on?”

She blinked, shaking off the fluttering in her stomach. “ Nothing. We were just – going to pay.”

Amanda spent the whole ride back in silence, mulling over her words.

* * *

The two women clapped when Miko cut through the waves with her surfboard, her head emerging out of the water. When Arcee told them she was going to patrol the unmined Energon reserve Amanda and Ultra Magnus had found by the island, she had suggested that the three of them spend the day under the sun. Although Ratchet seemed apprehensive - " The Ground Bridge is not for recreational purposes." Amanda reasoned it would be better than having Miko practice her shriek metal within the Base, with that he had punched in the coordinates without hesitation.

Now in her two-piece with the sun beating on her skin, Amanda can't help but let her thoughts stray to their earlier conversation. She propped herself on both arms, pulling her sunglasses up.

Waves ahead roared and rolled down, crashing onto the shore with a soft hiss. 

" June?"

The nurse gave a hum, applying the sunscreen over her arm. The straw rattan hat casting a shadow over her smile.

" What makes you think I like him?" 

June kept an eye out for Miko, turning to her once the girl was seen riding the tides. " I don't know. The real question is, do you?"

Amanda's mouth went dry. " He's-he's my friend."

June adjusted the strap around her neck, fixing the white one piece."Friends who've toured Athens together under a starry night. If that isn't the plot of an old 80s romcom, I don't know what is."

Amanda shoved her book against the nurse, who simply took a sip of her juice.

" What's the deal between you and Ratchet?"

This time, it was June who hesitated. Amanda would have seized her triumph if it wasn't for the shrewd smirk across June's lips. " I wouldn't mind a piece of him."

She choked on her drink, sitting upright. June threw her head back, "Don't act surprised! Don't come here and tell me you haven't thought about it."

Amanda opened and closed her mouth, " I - not Ratchet ! I guess Ultra Magnus _is_ handsome..."

" See! It's not that hard." June patted her shoulder. " He's tall, strong, commanding. I bet he's like that day _and_ night."

Amanda hid her burning cheeks against her shoulder as Miko jogged up to them, plopping next to June. The girl reached for a can of soda, popping it open. She wiped her chin," What's wrong with Amanda?"

The familiar revving of Arcee's engines roared in the distance. Alerted, the three stood up, watching the blue motorcycle come in view.

She transformed midway, scattering sand all over the mat. " We have to go. Now !"

" Arcee what's wrong?" June placed a hand over he plating.

" Decepticons."

" _What_?"

" They didn't follow me here," Arcee threw a look over her shoulder, " But they're mining the Energon reserve by the docks. It's only a matter of time till they spot us, we have to go and call backup."

" You're going to fight them? Why?"

" Because they have one of us hostage - Wheeljack. He's - it's a long story. I'll explain once all of you are safe."

Accepting that their beach day has officially come to a bitter end, Amanda went to pack her things, quickly discarding it into the basket. She pulled on her shorts, reaching for her shirt and-

" Wait," June froze, zipping her sundress. " Where did Miko go?" 

* * *

If Ultra Magnus ever finds out she will never hear the end of it. How Miko had roped them into complying is still a mystery. It could be because Wheeljack was currently pinned to the ground by a blaster the size of a NASA space launcher - she might have exaggerated that bit, but then again, it made no difference because there was no way Wheeljack was surviving _that_ blow. They can't afford to wait for backup - God knows where Optimus and Smokescreen were, and the rest of the crew are surely busy with their fair share of Decepticons.

" We need a plan," Amanda suggested.

" I have a plan." Miko whispered, " We get in there and kick ass."

" That's not a plan!" June hissed. " And watch the language."

" We're running out of time," Arcee warned, gesturing at the scene. The four of them peeked out of a crag by the entrance, shrouded by the jagged stones. Vehicons were crawling the premise, loading freshly mined crystals into their Ground Bridge.

" That's his ship," Arcee pointed to the cliff across them, " If we can sneak past the guards, we can lay some heavy damage with it."

" I'll go," Miko stood up and June latched on her wrist to drag her down. " Miko wait! You can't go alone, you don't even know how to pilot the thing?"

" It can't be that hard, besides," Miko snatched her hand away. " If you don't want me to go then you should come with."

Speechless, June gaped at Arcee, who halfheartedly shrugged - " I hate to agree with Miko, but she's right. I can give you the distraction you need. On the navigation screen there will be four main controls, press the very top button, it will drive you straight to the cavern."

" Wait-" Amanda raised her hands, " When Miko said we're going to crash the place, I didn't think we're going to _literally_ do it !"

" The ship is durable enough to take the force, its either that or we lose Wheeljack !" Arcee growled. She tapped the side of her commlink, only to be met by static. " Frag, the 'Cons must have jammed the signal. Just trust me on this one. I won't compromise your safety if I wasn't sure. I'll create a commotion to draw the guards by the cliffside away, just to give you guys enough time to sneak in."

" Absolutely not! Miko's a child. We can get killed! This is too _dangerous_.” June argued. “There's no way any of us is doing this."

" So what, we're just going to let Wheeljack die ?" Miko huffed.

There was a minute. A war was waging itself inside June's mind, the mother telling her to leave is going against the nurse who wanted to stay and save lives. The sound of metal violently colliding with one another, followed by Wheeljack's groaning is enough to make June clamp her fists together. "Ugh! You better be right about this."

" What can I do?" Amanda tried not to let her uncertainty show, glancing at the pair who are already heading for the rocky pathway. For a second Arcee seemed to have an idea, before changing her mind once she catches sight of the computer.

" I want you to steal Decepticon information." Arcee pulled out an object from her subspace. " Jack had this with him the last time he downloaded information about the Iacon relics aboard the Nemesis. Raf gave it to him, and he gave it to me."

" That's...convenient." Amanda blinked, taking the drive.

" Only because he didn't know what to do with it." Arcee scoffed, looking at the sky as if to thank the intuition of clueless teenage boys who knew when they're not responsible enough to keep a hold on something. " The information on that thing has been scrapped, so if you're worried it can't fit all that data - don't be."

Arcee readied her blaster, the gun whirring to life. " Are you ready?"

" I don't think so." Amanda admitted, " But we can't just let him die."

Arcee leaned forward, waiting.

" Please don't tell Ultra Magnus."

The Femme smiled at that." I won't."

* * *

It’s safe to say that they should make Arcee their main strategist when it comes to missions. Amanda has seen Ultra Magnus in action and she has to admit, no one can beat him when it comes to battle formations. Yet, after realizing that Arcee’s half-baked plan might work, after all, Amanda was starting to think the Femme was born with a natural talent.

It’s a shame a vehicon had to put his blaster on her head.

She stilled, turning around. The vehicon had his friends with him, the four soldiers crowding Amanda by the computer. They all gawked at her, glancing at one another in confusion. When they made no move to lower their weapons, Amanda knew she had to think fast. At least Arcee was doing much better, leading the rest of them in a wild chase using her alt-mode. Dreadwing – as the vehicons called him, was having a difficult time catching her within the confined space.

The harddrive beeped beside her, nearing its capacity. She knew it probably didn’t even reach half of what the Decepticons have, but it was better than nothing. That’s why when one of them put his fingers experimentally around her waist to lift her, Amanda pointed between their shoulders – “ Ah! It’s Lord Megatron !”

On instinct, the vehicons turn to greet their warlord with a salute. At that, Amanda plucked the drive and climbed down the platform, gliding through the slimy walls. “ Arcee !”

Dumbfounded, it took the clones thirty seconds to realize that she’d been bluffing, which was enough time for chaos to explode. Within those thirty seconds, Dreadwing had caught Arcee by the neck, raising her up so high her pedes dangled above the floor. Wheeljack struggled with his restraints, shouting at him. Within those thirty seconds, the Jackhammer was able to crash itself right above them, sending boulders raining down the ceiling.

Momentarily distracted and shocked, Dreadwing loosed his grip on Arcee, allowing her to land a sucker-punch with her pede. She helped Wheeljack out of his restraints, gesturing to Amanda. He was quick to transform, swerving right under the vehicons to open his doors at her. – “ Hop in !”

Soon enough the three of them were squished inside the backseat of the Italian race car, speeding away from the Decepticons.

“ Why didn’t you stay inside the Jackhammer ?” Amanda squealed, crushed between Miko and the door when Wheeljack made a sharp turn.

“ Well, I'm _sorry_ ! I thought you guys needed help so I went down to help lay some hate into the action !” Miko argued, shoved against June as Wheeljack drove off a rocky path.

The nurse grumbled, “ I followed Miko because if I don’t she’s going to get herself killed !”

The three of them screamed as the wrecker swerved against the sleek walls to avoid a group of Vehicons. Stray blasts precariously whizzed past through them outside. “ What about the ship then, the Decepticons are just going to have it?”

“ Don’t sweat it sweet spark.” The radio answered. “ I always set it on autopilot every time I get off. A contingency plan in case things get ugly. After a cycle of waiting, it should rendezvous to the predetermined coordinates I’ve punched in.”

Miko grinned, punching her fists into the air. “ You rock, Jackie !”

“ Heh, it’s good to see you kid!” The car nearly missed a stray blast, veering sharply. “ Who are your friends?”

“ Escape first, introductions later.” Amanda glanced out the window. Dreadwing wasn’t far behind, roaring in frustration. Arcee was ahead of him, tailing them. She caught on to their side, her tires burning as she desperately tries for her comm again, “ Ratchet do you hear me? Ratchet I need a ground bridge _now_ !”

Amanda bumped her head onto the ceiling, feeling squished. Arcee’s rearview window motioned for them to follow her, and she went ahead, going straight for the pier.

“ Wait.” June clutched onto the handle by the door, “ Does he know we’re heading for the water?”

“ Easy now,” The tires let out a hiss over the ocean-washed path, “Have a little faith.”

They were greeted by sunlight once more, emerging out of the cave and onto the creaking wood. Beside them, Arcee was yelling to the other side of her commlink, “ Open it, _now_ , _now_ , _now_!” 

There was the familiar sound of the gates opening, right beneath the end of the dock.

“ Wait !” The three of them cried, but it fell upon deaf audio receptors as they near the edge.

Arcee stopped, letting Wheeljack take the lead, transforming to aim her canons at Dreadwing. Amanda watched the rays hit him square in the chest, sending him into the ocean. There was a vicious splash, followed by Miko and June’s screaming as the wheels of the car loses momentum, diving directly into the portal. She screwed her eyes shut, feeling herself fall.

* * *

“ Ratchet what’s going on?” Ultra Magnus eyed the ground bridge, watching it crackle with electricity. Ratchet was typing away in his keypad, shaking his head. “ They should be here by –“

“ OUT OF THE WAY !” At the sudden voice, the Autobots moved unconsciously. Optimus and Bumblebee ducked just in time to avoid Wheeljack plummeting right through them, heading straight for the wall. His legs pushed themselves off the solid slab, cracking it. He broke the fall’s momentum, balancing himself on his legs. Once he was upright, he barely had the time to collect himself when another speeding mass hurled towards him –

“ Arcee !” He used his free arm to catch her, bracing her with a hook around the waist – breaking the fall. She slammed into his chest, pushing him to his knees. He let out a painful grunt, ignoring the stares as the portal slowly shuts down.

“ What- What in Primus’s name just happened !” Ratchet yelled. Wheeljack titled his chin downwards. “Don’t ask me doc, they’re the ones who saved me from the ‘Cons.”

“ Where is Amanda?” Ultra Magnus strode forward, eyes searching.

Wheeljack did a double-take as if to count. There was a faint banging against his chest. His subspace parted, and Amanda emerged, gasping for air. Almost immediately, right after she was lowered onto the ground, Ultra Magnus plucked her onto his palm. Wheeljack loosened his grip on Arcee, who had been glaring at him.

Miko and June both hugged the floor, calming the onslaught of queasiness. Water was dripping off Wheeljack’s frame, splashing everywhere to create a mess Ratchet so desperately wants to point out. After giving time for the girls to collect themselves, Arcee offered a quick explanation – “ I did – we did what we thought was right.”

As usual, Optimus was the first to break the ice. He placed a hand over Arcee’s shoulder. “Although you exposed our human liaisons to danger, you made the right decision to save Wheeljack. All of you made the right choice. If it wasn’t for your intuition, we would have lost a friend today.”

Miko whooped, urging Amanda and June to clap along. Miko wrapped her arms around June, “ We rule back there! We totally kicked ass and take names !”

June returned the sudden gesture, eyes widening in shock before melting to accommodate the sincerity. “ For a second there I thought we’re not going to make it.”

Amanda sighed to herself, looking up. Ultra Magnus regarded her in silence.

“ Are you mad at me?”

He lowered her next to Miko and June, walking over to the couch. At first, a painful grip took hold of her heart, _was he really that angry_? Only to have him come back with a blanket – one the children keep around.

He draped it over her, looking away. Confused, Amanda examined herself, only to blush deeper once she realized that she was soaked, the water rendering her white cotton shirt completely transparent.

She tugged the warm fabric tighter, beaming up at him with a silent thank you. His face showed that he wasn’t happy with the situation and that they were _definitely_ going to talk about it once they’re alone. Yet, she couldn’t miss the relief hugging his frame. She placed a hand on his pede, urging him to look at her.

“ I’m okay.” She grinned.

“ I don’t think we’ve been properly introduced.” Wheeljack knelt to meet her at eye level, extending a hand, “ Name’s Wheeljack.”

“ Amanda Laurent.” She shook his finger. “ But Amanda’s fine.”

“ Soldier, may I ask why you are not currently logging in your field report?”

At this Wheeljack winced outwardly, raising his head. “ I –“

“ I think his field report can wait, Ultra Magnus,” Amanda suggested, “ He just took a rough beating.”

Wheeljack stared at her as if she had just grown a second head. His eyes shifted between them. The commander raised a brow at her, before turning sharply to Wheeljack. “Allow Ratchet to scan you for any injuries. I expect that report by today.”

With that he stalked off, leaving the two of them alone. He placed his hand on his hips, letting out a low whistle. “ That’s new.”

“ Amanda.” Ultra Magnus called. “ I believe nurse Darby should tend to your wounds.”

She gave the wrecker a quick wave, before running over to her guardian - “ Ultra Magnus I told you I’m fine !”

You can bet that Wheeljack had to stand there for quite some time to accustom himself to the sight of Amanda perched on Ultra Magnus’s shoulder. The only thing that brought him back to the present was a scolding from June, Miko and Arcee – “ How did you even end up in that kind of situation!” leaving everyone else to laugh at the commotion.

* * *

“ During the 12th century, in France, it was widely considered that true love was not to be expected in marriage, which was more or less an economic, social, and religious arrangement. In return, Love was idealized. Being in love was an honorable and virtuous condition. In French literature, knights would return from battle and woo a lady, often their lord's spouse. Their love would be noble, chaste, lofty, and spiritual. This is referred to as _la fin'amor_ , a medieval European literary conception of love that emphasized nobility and chivalry.” Amanda explained.

“ Most of the poetry, art, films, and novels about romance originated in France - those two words rhyme for a reason, you know. Couples all around the world dream of going to Paris, the City of Light, on romantic weekends. Romance, love, it’s part of our culture. That’s why French is considered to be the language of love.”

“ And Jack’s learning this because?” Arcee spared her human charge a glance. He kept his eye on the paper, offering a shy smile.

“ Because, it’s mandatory for us to take a language class.” Jack rubbed the eraser, redoing his sentence. “ And I chose French because – well, Sierra’s there.”

“ I still don’t understand what’s so romantic about it.” She admitted. “ Not to offend.”

“ None taken.” Amanda shrugged. “ It’s not for everyone.”

Jack swiped the rubber dust away from his paper, raising it to Amanda. “How’s this?” She accepted the poem, reading it – “ Some of your grammar is off. ‘ _Ils voudraient aimer’_ is supposed to be ‘ _Ils aimeront’_. Other than that this is really good! You must be popular with the ladies, huh?”

Raf chuckled at that, and Jack nudged the boy sitting next to him playfully. They were doing homework by her desk, with Raf finishing up what's left of his Maths worksheet. “ You’re the one turning heads, Amanda.”

A light pink dusted itself across Jack's cheeks and Amanda pinched them, earning a protest from him. “That’s sweet of you – but I’m not the best person to give advice on romance. I’ve only ever been with one guy.”

“ One?” Miko gasped, all the way from the couch, fingers tapping furiously at the controller. “ You’re lying.”

She shook her head. “ I’m just not lucky when it comes to love.”

The look Arcee gave her was a familiar one. One of comfort, one of understanding – it stayed with her even when the sky was getting dark and they were singing by the tv. Miko wanted to do some karaoke, and much to Ratchet’s demise, everyone else had agreed. After several songs the girl was now on the couch with Raf, clapping Jack and Amanda on. Initially, the boy was stumbling to get the lyrics right, but once they fell into a rhythm – he and Amanda had no trouble in singing the last few verses of _Amour Plastique_.

_In my mind, everything goes wild._

_I lose myself in your eyes._

The entire base was shrouded in darkness, with only the light from outside and the screen to guide them. Ultra Magnus stood across them, by the computer screen – the faint green light illuminating his concentrated stare as he worked.

_I drown myself in the vagueness of your loving gaze._

_I want only your soul going wild on my skin_.

Everyone else was gathered together, Smokescreen and Bee enthusiastically bouncing along. Optimus and Arcee stood behind June, watching the scene unfold fondly. Wheeljack and Bulkhead’s conversation was overpowered the music pouring out of the stereo, yet they were laughing anyways. Ratchet pretended to engross himself on the datapad at hand, standing next to Optimus, stealing glances at the crowd every now and then.

_A flower, a woman in your heart Romeo._

_I follow only your name, the tormenting breath._

She spun just in time to catch Ultra Magnus’s gaze. Subtly, she beckoned him to join them. The hands typing on the keypads stilled. She continued singing, not breaking eye contact – and he seemed to be mulling over the offer.

_Of our bodies in the dark, slowly moving._

The strobe lights from the tv flickered with color – yellow, pink, purple. On the screen, the blue dot was hopping from one line to another, urging her to match its pace. She tapped her feet, swaying from side to side, the hem of her tennis skirt grazing her knees.

_And at night when all is dark, I watch you dance._

Music fills the air without effort, like the waves filling holes in beach sand; the sound rushing in and around every person in the room. An opened bag of chips was strewn across the table, crowded next to several empty cans. The lively tempo dwindling into its softer verses, slowly coming to an end. Yet the offer in her eyes remained, insisting. He knew she wasn't taking no as an answer.

Ultra Magnus arrived just as Jack was starting a different song. A series of cheers erupted, and everyone else beckoned their second in command to come closer once they realize he wasn’t here to stop the party.

_" The real question is, do you?"_

June's question lingered in the air throughout the rest of the night. _It doesn't matter_ , Amanda thought, taking in the scene before her - Ultra Magnus was disapprovingly eyeing Wheeljack and his cube of high-grade, struggling to make out what Bulkhead was trying to tell him under all the noise. Despite this, the pile of datapads waiting for him at his station remains temporarily unattended, and he was nursing an Energon cube, leaning by the wall. Under the gentle glow, only Ultra Magnus can see the way she grinned at him, and only Amanda can see the smile he returned. _It doesn't matter as long as this moment could last a little longer._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like to call this chapter - when three gryffindors and one ravenclaw rescue a hufflepuff. Also, was that denial, Amanda ?  
>  I hope you had fun reading this happy chapter just as much as I enjoyed writing it. You know I always give you guys happy chapters before shit goes down, so brace yourselves because I'm going to have even more fun writing the next chap. xx
> 
> Also, yes, the song is Amour Plastique by Videoclub !


	14. if you hold me without hurting me, you'll be the first to ever did

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone ! I hope you're doing well <3  
> This is the longest chapter by far, so I hope it turns out well !  
> Also, yes, the chapter title is from one of my favorite songs by LDR, cinnamon girl  
> I feel it really fits Amanda and I'll leave more details about it in the end notes  
> much love <3

“ You remind me of your father.” If she didn’t know any better, Amanda would have thought the woman pitied her, pouting her lips as she strode to Amanda’s side. The doting mother placed her hand across her daughter’s cheek, worried, careful, loving.

Yet she knew better.

"Curious, gentle, kind. Too kind, too naive. You would have never survived in this world. “

The river outside appears still, yet it flows under the thinnest of ice, awaiting the gentle touch of the sun. Though the two of them were sheltered by the walls and warmed by the fire, the air bares only coldness.

“ That wasn’t a reason to abandon me,” She cried, “You left me. You left papa, you left us!"

“ I did what I had to! “The woman growled back and Amanda flinched.”You are no different than him – _gah_ , stupid girl you could never understand.”

“ Then make me understand! I deserve to understand why you make me live my childhood chasing after the love you were supposed to give me! W-why I always had to earn your affection, your time? Why I had to pretend to be someone else for you to accept me? Mothers are kind, gentle, attentive. You were _never_ any of those. You owe me an explanation, you owe me an-an-“

“ A what, an apology ?” Her mother scoffed. “ Pathetic. I only wanted to make you stronger! I only wanted to discipline you, to raise you. I only wanted the best for you, yet you had to go off and chase empty dreams. _Bah_! Stupid girl.”

The garden looked like an unfinished painting. So much of the canvas was still perfectly white as if waiting for the artist's hand to return. The morning light struggled through the murky cloud. She fisted the hem of her dress, eyes red and tired, so very _tired_.

“ I’m not stupid for wanting to fashion a life of my own! I’m not stupid for wanting to become the actress you could have never been -“

“ Silence you ignorant girl!” Madeline slammed her fist on the table, shaking the coffee spilling it, the liquid dripping off the table and onto the floor. Her eyes - blue, pale, and haunting. Amanda blinked, feeling the hot rush of tears down her cheeks. “ You know nothing. I never wanted to give up the stage, the glamor, the fame. I had never felt more alive under the light. Whose fault was it that I had to quit? I was in my prime! If I had known that I would have to give it up for you, all of it, for you - I would have _never_ left the stage."

A moment passed when neither of them spoke. It was only the sound of their ragged breathing, coupled with the crackling of the fire. Amanda screwed her eyes shut.

“ We just lowered papa into the ground, and you act like he meant nothing to you? Did you ever love him?” She sniffed,” Did you ever love me?”

“ Of course,” Madeline sighed,” I loved you, both of you.”

Amanda held her breath.

“But love is weakness. And I’m stronger than love.”

With that she pulled away to zip up her uniform jacket, fixing the cap on her head. The medals resting atop her chest gleamed under the light, glaring at her as she approached.

“ This is your own doing. You’ve disappointed everybody and proven once again that you can’t keep anything. Everything will slip through your fingers. No one will put their trust into those weak, trembling, hands of yours.” She stepped over the broken picture frame, the glass scattered across the floor.

“ You’re beautiful, Amanda,” Her mother hummed sadly, using a rough finger to pinch her chin and hold it against the light, “You are more beautiful than I’ll ever be. My little flower. _Ma petite fleur_.”

She swiped a strand of her hair away from her face and Amanda thought the gesture could almost seem loving, caring - if it wasn’t for the empty look in her eyes. She whispered, leaning against the shell of her ear.

“ But you will always be the rose nobody wants to pick.”

Amanda woke with a startle, body jolting upwards. The phone on her nightstand buzzed noisily. She padded her fingers on the wetness across her cheeks, dazed, she answered the call. – “ Hello?”

“ Amanda.” She inwardly grimaced at Fowler’s voice, rubbing the sleep away from her eyes. The digital clock by the bedside table blinked one thirty in the morning, even the moon was nowhere to be seen outside. “ After this call, I’ll patch through your aunts. They’ve been trying to call you non-stop! It’s about time I let you pick up to avoid suspicion.”

Amanda had barely opened her mouth when the line clicked, her aunt’s voice pouring through the speakers. Their conversation was short, it always was, her aunts never really liked doing phone calls. Once reunited, it’ll be a different story altogether – and Amanda feels sorry for the café patron who’ll have to kick them out once they started talking.

After her dream and conversation, Amanda found it difficult to close her eyes – knowing that sleep was now out of her reach. Yet, she was tired, limbs begging to be laid to rest. She made her way down the stairs, careful to watch her step. The light coming from outside was scarce, the clouds hovering above blocking most of the moon’s shine. The lamp by her porch was enough to guide Amanda in making a cup of tea, and she drank it by the kitchen table.

She nearly dropped her beverage at the sudden glare of light, blinking through the spaces between her curtains. Putting down her cup, she padded outside. Amanda stared at the blue rig, nearly forgetting that he’s there.

“ Hi.” She breathed into the chill, wrapping an arm around herself. “ Did I wake you?”

“ Hardly.” She couldn’t explain the jittery feeling in her stomach at his voice, rough and laced with sleep.

“ Why are you awake?”

She could feel his concern.

Amanda shrugged. “ My aunts called.”

By her doorstep, she could hear the crickets chirping in the garden. There was the soft murmuring of dried leaves scratching the pavement. “ You should try to fall back into recharge, if we want to depart on time tomorrow.”

She laughed dryly at his comment. There was no doubt he was referring to the time she had overslept. Not even his honking could wake her. In the end, June was the one to drag her out of bed. Once he realizes she wasn't injured, Ultra Magnus proceeded to scold her for having stayed up late that night 

That memory seemed so far away now.

Amanda’s hesitance was evident in the way she fiddled her fingers and as always, he waited patiently for her. “ I-I had a strange dream.”

It was an indirect cry for comfort, for security – and these days, Amanda finds herself frequently seeking these things from him. A part of her is always scared of what he would answer, irrational, considering that he always gives them. It was strange, she thought, climbing inside his cab, how close they’ve grown. Several months ago, Ultra Magnus would be apprehensive in helping her, now he’s lowering his passenger seat to allow her to rest.

“ I always dream, but never like this. It’s _weird_ how my dreams have been so vivid lately – it feels like I’m reliving them. It feels real.” She curled herself tighter. “ Ratchet says it’s because I’m frequently exposed to the relics, that some of its magic is beginning to rub off on me. It’s a theory, but it makes sense. June says it's because I’ve been working too hard – she thinks I’m stressed.”

“ Are you?”

She sighed. “ Not stressed, just pressured. I feel like my research is coming to a dead end and we are running out of time – I feel like I could have offered more. We still don’t know what the shield does. I promised you weapons to turn the tide on this war, and all I’ve brought back were…relics.”

“ That does not make your findings any less valuable.” He assured. “ Do not lose faith. You have done remarkable work in uncovering our shared history.”

The seafoam chemise pooled around her thighs, shrouded by a thin, satin night robe. If there was one thing Amanda was guilty of, it was buying more night clothes than she could ever wear. Always adding to her cart whenever she finds herself mindlessly scrolling through stores online, unable to resist the designs.

“ Would you like to talk about that dream?”

She used her hand as a pillow, looking at the side view mirror. “ I dreamt about my mother.”

“ I see.” Understanding the context behind her words, he left it at that, knowing that it hadn’t been a pleasant dream. At times like this, Amanda would do most of the talking – he would mostly listen, but to her, that was more than enough.

" She was an actress, a real eighties star. Madeline Laurent, _the Red Rose_. When she had me, it ruined her career.” Amanda exhaled, “ And out of anger, she left to serve under _The Commandement des Opérations Spéciales_. French special ops. Talk about a drastic turn, huh? Fowler thought this would rope me into working with you. Little did he know, we haven't seen each other since my father's funeral."

She wrestled the memory away, feeling lighter once she'd mentioned it.

" She should have never left you." He spoke, voice uncharacteristically soft. " You did nothing wrong."

Amanda took his words at heart, even if she finds a certain difficulty in accepting it.

“ What do you dream about, Ultra Magnus?” Amanda wondered aloud. The question was far from professional, but they’ve crossed that line a long time ago – and between friends, it was nothing he can’t handle.

“ I seldom dream.” He admitted. “ Yet, when I do, I dream of Cybertron. I dream of Iacon before the war.”

She smiled at that. “ Your home.”

“ My home.” He agreed. She pressed a palm against her chest, savoring this moment between them – moments where she could see through the window of his armor. The honesty, the vulnerability, the trust in his voice was enough to make her giddy.

“ Also – I’ll be attending a wedding in a couple of weeks.”

“ Oh?”

She nodded, thinking back to her conversation on the phone. “ My ex-fiancé. He’s getting married.”

At that, her throat went dry – and she could feel it, the sickening feeling pooling against her stomach.

“ You do not have to attend their ceremony if you don’t want to.” She laughed at that – “ Thanks, Ultra Magnus, but I don’t want to be rude. Even if things ended badly between us, I can’t just throw away his invitation – besides, maybe it’s finally time for us to settle things, so we can move on properly.”

“ A wise decision.” He hummed, “ I understand that in human customs, you are required to bring someone along with you.”

“ A plus one? Usually, yeah,” She chuckled, “ But I don’t have a date. It doesn’t have to be a date, but, I just don’t…have anyone to bring. I don’t think June can clear up her schedule.”

The frigid cold couldn’t penetrate the doors shielding her, and she cocooned herself in the warmth, relinquishing at how toasty it was.

“ I can take you.” She lifted her head at that. “ Allowing you to attend this ceremony might expose you to Decepticon radar, it would be unwise to let you go alone. I also believe you will require support.”

“ And you’re willing to do that?” She asked. “ You’re willing to give me support. To stay?”

The chair gently reclined further, urging her to lay back down. The sky was hidden tranquility married to a plethora of stars, the Jasper sky offering Amanda the kind of softness she needed – one that called her body and brain to rest. Her heart fell into its steady rhythm.

“ I’m willing.”

She made no move to go back upstairs, content in where she is. Ultra Magnus didn’t seem to oppose it either, letting sleep consume her – and even if her dreams were still strange and vivid, it gave her solace to know that she wouldn’t wake alone.

* * *

There are different kinds of fears. Amanda has several irrational ones, she’s afraid of cockroaches and needles - making her a nurse’s worst nightmare. She could name a few rational ones, such as losing a finger in the garbage disposal or having a robber climb through her window. She’d been through most of them, but if there is one, she didn’t want to repeat – is the fear of losing someone.

The sheer helplessness that came along with it was too much to bear, thinking about it was enough to make her queasy. The first time she experienced this was when her father had his first stroke. When she heard him slump against the dinner table roughly, Amanda had discarded the cleaver in her hands to call for an ambulance. She could remember accidentally cutting herself in the midst of panic - the blood oozing out of her fingers, dripping onto the floor as she dialed the number shakily. She could remember cradling him against her chest, unsure of what to do. She could remember crying at the thought of losing him.

Amanda couldn’t look at their kitchen properly for a week.

So when Optimus walked through the Ground Bridge with Ultra Magnus unmoving in his arms, Amanda was immediately paralyzed by fear.

It was as if time had slowed, solidifying around her to slow her movements. Eventually, the commotion caught up to her, and her legs were rushing to his side. June held her back, stopping her from crawling atop the medical bed. Her heart sank so low she could physically feel it, her throat constricting at the sight.

There were traces of his blood on the floor – an unsettling mixture of blue and pink. The noises around her blurred, and she finds herself calling after his name.

In her head, mere minutes stretched into days – and finally, after what felt like years of waiting, Ratchet finally announced that he’s stabilizing, the sound of his life signal beeping in the background. Amanda nearly vomited, clutching her stomach as she slumped onto a chair. Someone was leading her up, beckoning her to follow – she complied aimlessly, feeling dazed, feeling numb.

It took her a moment to realize that she was now inside Wheeljack, his tires burning against the asphalt. She motioned for him to stop, tapping at his dashboard – feeling the bile rise to her throat. When he didn’t slow, she tried for the door handle – “ Wheeljack not so fast ! I – “

Her body was propelled forward – the seatbelt across her chest the only thing stopping her from slamming face-first onto the wheel. She could hear her panting, mixed with the sound of his engines revving – she could tell he was restless, angry, _scared_. She let her head fall back onto the chair.

It was dark outside – the road void of any streetlamps. Amanda can’t see through the shadows, his headlights barely lighting the way.

“ What happened, Wheeljack?” She whispered, voice wavering.

She felt him stiffen. “ ‘Cons. We walked right into a trap – Dreadwing, he was waiting for us. He loaded the entire joint with explosives, Ultra Magnus held him off while the rest of us – we didn’t know he’ll take him. Frag. We had to pull him out of the wreckage.”

He didn’t even bother to contain the guilt in his voice, weighed down by failure and exhaustion.

Amanda stared ahead. “I don’t understand…W-Why did he put himself in danger like that?”

There was a ringing in her ear, faint and incessant. The northern winds were holding their breath, causing the leaves of the Joshua trees to shiver in anticipation.

“ Trust me, it’s nothing new. Ultra Magnus has always been ready to give up his life for the Autobot cause.” Wheeljack admitted bitterly. “Ultra Magnus was a sergeant of the Council Guardians who held back the Decepticons during the siege of the Hydrax Plateau. We were at odds, none of us thought we’d make it out alive. Bulkhead and I were there when the spaceport fell – I thought that was the end of it. But by some slim chance, we made it out in one piece, all because Ultra Magnus saved our afts. Ever since then, Optimus appointed him as second in command.

We work as a combat unit that operates outside the normal chain of command - or once did, during the Great War. We were ready to take any risk to finish the job, whatever it takes, no matter the cost.”

“ You had nothing to lose.”

She didn’t realize her hands were shaking until she saw herself by the rear-view mirror. There was a heavy pressure between her ribcages, crushing her. Amanda swallowed, ignoring the way her bottom lip quivered.

“ We had nothing to lose.”

She imagines Ultra Magnus running headfirst into danger – the perfect solider, one born out of courage, patriotism, and righteousness. A soldier who so willingly gives himself up, living his life thinking that he’s expendable, replaceable, just another cog in the machine. Her stomach churned at that.

“ When the Ark was completed, Ultra Magnus offered to stay behind and fight. He was ready to take on Shockwave's new regime alone.” Wheeljack started his engines “ It’s either he has the biggest martyr complex or he just enjoys flirting with death.”

The darkness only seemed to suffocate her even more, forcing her to think over his words. Under the yellow headlights, the road is a monochrome patchwork, each one lined with a shiny border of tar. Despite these fixes, there are still cracks and the potholes grow larger with each passing week.

“ _Ultra Magnus’s sense of duty exceeds his personal feelings, his sense of loyalty to his work is often difficult to surpass. Ultra Magnus is firm, stern, and even cold at times – but he’s a true leader alright, always putting others before himself_.” That was what Bulkhead had once told her when he found her sulking by the couch after one of her arguments with Ultra Magnus – that was a week after they’ve met.

Amanda finds it hard to believe that a time where they were just strangers learning to get to know one another even existed. She was so used to his presence, his guidance, his warmth.

That’s why she didn't want him to wake up alone.

In the middle of the empty base – when the rest of the Autobots, except Ratchet, had decided to go for recharge, Amanda sat by the chair next to the bed. The space was completely devoid of light, save for Ratchet’s station, but even the faint glow of his devices couldn’t reach her.  
She listened closely to the beeping of his monitors, falling quietly into sleep.

* * *

“ _Sacre Bleu_ , Ultra Magnus look!”

They were parked by a roadside attraction – Jasper, Nevada seems to hit all the marks when it comes to weird and unusual novelties of architecture. Ultra Magnus understood why entrepreneurs would want to capitalize on long-distance travel, hence the stretch of restaurants, motels, coffee shops, cafes, and more unusual businesses. Yet, he didn’t seem to find the amusement in a fifty-foot tall monument of a giant nose – “ Is it supposed to be poetic?”

Amanda had just left the café nearby, having picked up her breakfast. They were supposed to be on their way, yet she had spotted an impromptu proposal. She grinned when the man knelt in front of his girlfriend. Amanda rolled down her window as they drove by, cheering them on. It had left her in a good mood the whole day – and when they’re on the road again, Ultra Magnus was quick to ask.

“ The man is asking the woman to join him in Conjunx Endurae?”

“ If that’s similar to marriage then yes.” She took a sip of her water bottle, leaning back.

“ From what I understand, marriage is a legal union – and over the years humans have valued the economic proposition compared to the underlying spiritual aspect it.”

“ That’s true – these days, when people get married, it’s usually for legal reason. Yes, they marry out of love, but the constitutional bond can easily be dissevered by a divorce or an annulment. All you need is a lawyer and a lot of will.” Amanda laughed dryly at that. “ Is Conjunx Endurae no different?”

“ In human terms, Conjunx Endurae _,_ are the equivalent of spouses; when the life of a Cybertronian is threatened to the point of unconsciousness, it falls upon their Conjunx Endura to make medical decisions on their behalf.” He explained, “ The only difference is that Conjunx Endurae is coveted amongst our people. It is no trivial matter, many consider it to be a rare blessing – a sacred union. It is very unlikely that one would like to sever their bond. Few Cybertronians have more than one Conjunx Endura in their lifespan, and many of us don't even have one.”

“ Oh.” Amanda breathed out, awestruck. As she watches the phone lines pass by the window, Amanda let her mind wander. _How beautiful is that_ , she mused, _to be loved so deeply_?

“ It is considered as taboo to talk about someone’s Conjunx Endura, for it is a private matter. Yet, I’ve noticed it’s different for humans.”

Amanda nodded, “ We like to flaunt our marriage, to symbolize it we’ll wear rings or simply tell people that we’re bonded. You want to know a secret?”

“ Only if you’re inclined to share.”

“ I always wanted to get married – that’s why I got engaged early. I used to think that marriage was the most beautiful thing on Earth, it’s cliché, but…I learned my lesson.” She exhaled, rubbing the circle of her fourth finger. “ I… shouldn’t get my hopes up too high.”

She glanced at his side-view mirror – and so many words stretched between that moment of silence. They were unspoken, yet not unnoticed. She could feel it, the tension, the hesitance – they both had something to say, to confess. At that time, it seemed too early, Amanda hasn’t even realized the feeling caged between her ribs even existed.

When Bumblebee placed his finger gently upon her head to wake her, the dream dissolved like the foam by the sea, the fragments scattering in the back of her mind. She was pulled out of her memories, just in time to see Ultra Magnus open his eyes. She gestured for the scout to lift her to his side – and Bumblebee did, placing her next to his cheek.

Only now, when she saw the blue in Ultra Magnus's eyes, did she realize what the feeling was.

* * *

Two weeks have passed. Ultra Magnus’s recovery was slow, slower than he’d wanted it to be. Not only did he damaged his armor, but several of his internal processors were fried as well. Ratchet blew a fuse scolding him for pulling such a stunt, and Amanda would have added a few words too if it wasn’t for the medic’s already trophy worthy reprimand. 

Amanda could tell that Ultra Magnus wasn’t taking bed confinement well – he was more agitated than usual, always trying to worm his way out of Ratchet’s advice. It could even be comical, seeing how determined he was to break protocol and join the fight. Yet, Ratchet’s orders were stern – and he was to spend one more night resting before he could be cleared for duty. She tries to keep him company - taking her breaks next to him and inching her desk just a bit closer so they could chat.

Amanda should be there with him, celebrating the last day of his recovery.

Yet, she finds herself sitting by the bar, nursing her second glass of whiskey. Around her, laughter overpowered the jukebox, and conversations swirled in a dirty cloud of smoke, paired by the underlying stench of cigarettes. Amanda was never one for drinking, she admits she’s a lightweight – but the past few days haven’t exactly been pretty.

Her heart was forceful, always finding a way to get her to admit the feelings bubbling within. Without knowing it, she had begun to gravitate away from Ultra Magnus; her touches never linger for too long, eyes always sliding away. She knew what this feeling was – an unholy mixture of fear and longing, one she didn’t have the strength to deal with.

Adjusting the straps of her dress, her eyes scoured the scene. The patron complimented her, and she raised her glass in thank you.

It has been a while since she wore this dress. The red satin flowed over her skin, hugging her curves and clinging her thighs. It had a slit that nearly reached the corners of her legs, and straps that plunged straight down, the bare expanse of her back seemingly endless, the material of the dress only reemerging to cover the lowest part of her lower back.

Amanda ignored the shrewd man trying to strike up a conversation with her.

She knew Ultra Magnus doesn’t deserve her distance, but she can’t bring herself to stay in one room with him for too long without having her thoughts spiral all over the place. Amanda knew she was just setting herself up for something bad – hasn’t she learned anything?

“ _Everything will slip through your fingers. No one will put their trust into those weak, trembling, hands of yours._ ”

She winced at her mother’s voice, waving for another glass. What she needed was a distraction – not to mention that tomorrow she’ll be going for her ex’s wedding. Tipping the glass back, she wiped her chin, she’ll just have to hit two birds with one stone.

Amanda moved to shake the man off her tail, sliding herself inside a booth with two women. They generously scooted to make space for her, knowing that the leering creep wasn’t far behind. Their laughter grew louder into the night, the music by the stereo matching the thrum of her heart. She turned down an offer to smoke – looking at the clock. Deciding it was probably time for her to leave, she swapped contacts with the women – bidding them goodbye.

“ Are ya sure you have someone to take you home?” The brunette asked and Amanda hesitated. She had taken a cab here – but she was sober then. Amada has seen too many documentaries to know she shouldn’t go with anyone, anywhere drunk. It took her a while to find the number, but she dialed it – waiting for the other line to pick up as she squeezed through the crowd.

“ June?” Amanda asked, trying to not let her words slur, “ Please pick me up –“ She giggled, “ I’m by the Bootlicker’s bar – my, what a _strange_ name. I’m by the entrance, can you… pick me up?”

The world spun – she couldn’t make out what the nurse was saying and before she knew it the line ended. Leaving her to wait by the entrance, watching the cars drive through the sand.

“ Hey darlin’, need a ride?” At the voice she rolled her eyes, wrapping her hands around a wooden pillar. “ No I don’t, please…go away. You are _bothering_ me.”

“ Aw you don’t have to be such a bitch about it, come on my ride is just around the corner,“ He placed a hand around her arm – tugging. Amanda swatted him away, “ As if! Leave me alone, you creep !” He continued to try to put his hands on her and Amanda shoved him. She made a move to go back inside when a loud honk pierced through the air. The man recoiled, turning to the glaring headlights.

“ Step away from the woman.” The voice warned. Amanda didn’t know if it was the commanding tone, but whatever it was – the message was loud and clear. The rig revved its engines, scaring the man away. Amanda furrowed her brows, “ You’re not June.”

“ Amanda, get in.”

“ No !” Amanda withdrew, her mind addled, “ I’m not going in anyone’s car…unless it belongs to June! Whoever you are…you can leave.”

Amanda went for the sidewalk, striding down the pavement. The blue rig followed her, “ Amanda I will not repeat myself, you must come with me.” She frowned at the window, “ No ! I told you, you’re not June! You’re not even trying to sound like her…trust me buddy…you’re not kidnapping _anyone_ with that voice.”

Her heels clicked against the concrete and she tugged the hem of her dress, fixing the straps.

“ Nurse Darby couldn’t pick you up because she’s doing her shift in the hospital. Therefore, she called Ratchet, who sent me.”

Amanda narrowed her eyes, “ You know Ratchet? You’re an – “ She lowered her voice, looking around, “Autobot?”

She could hear him sigh. “ Yes. It’s me, Ultra Magnus, Amanda.”

The actress burst out laughing, nearly doubling over the pavement. “ No, you’re not! Ultra Magnus…he’s supposed to be…resting, silly! He shouldn’t be – “ She hiccupped, “ Out here.”

“ Please.” His tone was almost begging. “ Come with me. I will take you home, I promise.”

She regarded him through half-lidded eyes, her hair swept back by the rush of traffic beside them. Finally, Amanda nodded – “ Okay, Mr.Autobot.” Almost immediately, his door swung open and she hauled herself inside, settling on the leather seat. She let out a contented sigh, stretching. It was getting harder for her to stay awake, and she was tempted to give in to sleep, to just close her eyes and –

“You should know better than to go alone, vehicons were seen patrolling these areas. What were you thinking, exercising your right to leave the premise so carelessly?” She winced at his tone, “ You’re clearly intoxicated – it was an irresponsible decision to let yourself get drunk without company. Why were you there tonight?”

“ I’m sorry,” She whined, “ You sound just like Ultra Magnus…are you like his brother or something?”

“ Answer the question, Amanda.”

She bit her lip, letting the lightheadedness coax her into talking, “ I’m just…sad.”

There was a pause. His tone was softer now – careful. “ Why are you upset, Amanda?”

The woman shrugged, tracing her fingers on the window.” I’m sad because...because Ultra Magnus is going to leave me.”

He slowed his driving.” I’m not going anywhere, Amanda.”

She shook her head. “He says things like that but he knows it’s not true.” She hiccupped, forcing down a sob,” He-he’s always putting himself in danger. He doesn’t care if he gets killed, he doesn’t care if he ends up leaving everyone behind...if he ends up leaving me behind.”

Amanda fought the headache creeping in, vertigo urging her to continue. “ I don’t want to let anyone else in my…heart...if they’re just going to leave.”

Under the passing streetlights, Ultra Magnus could see the drops across her lashes, sliding down her cheeks. She gripped the handle by the door. “ Even if we win the war, even if he lives - he’ll have to go back to Cybertron...I – how would that even work?” She groaned, trying to find the right words in the middle of her haze, “I can't ask him to choose...I was stupid, so, so, _stupid_ to think - to think...”

Ultra Magnus pulled by her driveway, the engines coming to a slow. There was a moment where she struggled to keep herself from crossing the line between sleep and consciousness.

“ What did you think, Amanda?”

She propped herself up, opening the door to slide out. She wobbled on her heels, arms draped over the chair. “It doesn’t matter, Mr. Autobot.”

“ It matters.” He insisted but Amanda waved him off.

“T-thank you...for the lift, Mr.Autobot. Please…don't tell Ultra Magnus.”

Kicking off her heels, Amanda grabbed the stilettos by its back – letting it dangle over her fingers. She fumbled with the key, wincing to herself as they keep missing its mark. All of a sudden, a hand gently guided hers away. She stared up at the figure – “ Mr.Autobot?”

He unlocked the door with ease, before sliding his arms under her. Amanda let out a small yelp, falling into a fit of giggling as her arms find their way around his neck. With her cheek resting against the metal, she finds herself being carried away – humming at warmth resting under her knees.

* * *

“ Mr.Autobot,” She whispered. “ Do you want to know a secret?”

Ultra Magnus hesitated, feeling the stairs creak under his weight. “ Only if you are inclined to share.”

The moonbeams lift the blackness to almost deep blue, the silvery beams so brilliant against the dark sky. They shimmered through the slits of the hallway’s windows, crawling towards them. Human homes, he discovered, were no different from Cybertronian ones. Ultra Magnus traced the redness across her cheeks with his eyes, admiring how the blush spread all the way to her arms. She was warm, he noted, very warm.

She burrowed her face deeper against his chest, “ I think – I think I’m falling in love…with Ultra Magnus.”

He paused by the very last step, staring at the woman in his arms.

“ But you can’t tell him !” She chuckled, “ Shhh. You can’t tell him…”

The room was spacious, blue walls, and wooden tiles. In the middle laid a single bed, neatly made – parallel to the window. Ultra Magnus made sure to watch his step, hesitantly going over the fur mat. He laid her gently above the sheets, having seen how they function on human television – he draped the blanket over her. In the privacy of the half-light, he allowed himself a moment to admire her.

Turning to leave, he stopped midway.

“ Stay,” She whispered.

Two of her fingers latched itself on his wrist, weakly tugging. With her eyes closed and breathing slowed, she was falling into recharge. No - sleep, she was falling asleep. This close, he could count her eyelashes, he could count the freckles across her cheeks, he could run his fingers and map a constellation above each earthy kiss.

 _Human_ , Ultra Magnus thought, _she was so very_ _human_.

He could do as she asked. The moon was high, looming by the window. Its light drowned the room in a silver glow, caressing her arms, her neck, her lips. His fingers acted out of instinct, brushing the fallen strands away. His touch lingered. There was a painful tenderness in his spark – and as if he had been stung, he retracted his fingers.

He could sit by the bedside until the sun rises – he could make sure she doesn’t wake alone.

He could stay.

The wind rustled the leaves of the trees outside, coaxing them to sing. The lullaby crept through the half-opened window, making it even harder for him to close the door.

“ I should have known…”

He stilled, peeking through the creak. Through the small space, he could see her burrow her face into the pillow – lost in her own mindless rambling. “ You’d leave…just like everyone else…just like mama, just like him…just like…Magnus.”

When the door clicked shut there was a different kind of heaviness weighing him down. Utilizing his mass displacement provoked the joints between his shoulder plates to ache, causing strain to his newly recovered injuries. That was the least of his concerns, he thought, letting the words play in his mind.

Ultra Magnus didn’t know how long he stood by the door, but by the time he drove back to base – the moon was already sinking.

He could stay.

But he didn’t.

And it took everything in his willpower to not turn around.

* * *

The sun blooms on the horizon, golden petals stretching ever outwards into the rich blue. A churning in her stomach roused her from sleep, and Amanda woke with a start – running to the bathroom. She emptied her dinner into the bowl, leaning against the side of the bathtub. Once she was done, she headed for the mirror – turning on the lights. 

She grimaced, watching the mascara smudge the corners of her eyes.

She raised a finger across her cheeks, feeling the dried wetness.

Across the room, the window was open, filtering the first rays of sunlight. Confused, she rubbed her cheeks, trying to stop the sudden rush of tears. In her heart was a familiar ache, and she struggled to remember what happened last night. Amanda could barely recall the strange dream she had, and the sensation that she’d lost something, lingers for a long time.

“Why…” She asked aloud.

A cluster of birds flew past the trees, singing.

“ Why am I crying?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "There's things I wanna say to you  
> But I'll just let you live  
> Like if you hold me without hurting me  
> You'll be the first who ever did  
> There's things I wanna talk about  
> But better not to keep  
> But if you hold me without hurting me  
> You'll be the first who ever did."
> 
> That's my favorite verse from the song, anyways, it took me a while to write this chapter, because I wanted to get their emotions right , and I also very rarely do an UM pov, I hope I didn't butcher it.  
> P.S - I'm sorry if it's too Amanda-centric, I wanted to give a reason to her personality. I hope you still enjoyed this chap xx  
> I'm always ready for feedback <3 I hope I didn't break your heart too badly :,)


	15. you still have faith in me, baby, that's the reason I know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello ! I'm sorry for the late update, this is quite a long chapter and before we start, I want to apologize if this chapter is going to sound super super super cheesy or corny.  
> I hope this chapter didn't ruin the whole mood cause I'm genuinely scared of the outcome, however I appreciate all your feedback as usual.  
> Also,yes, the title is from the song Neon Lights by Pim Stones !  
> I hope you're all doing well !

The grease has begun to melt off the eggs, making it less appetizing than it already was. Amanda reluctantly cut through them, if only to calm the worried nurse. June was busy with the pan, muttering to herself – “What were you thinking, getting drunk like that alone? If you wanted to throw a pity party you could’ve at least done it on a Saturday so I can come with.”

The actress let out her third sorry within the hour, trying to ease June’s temper – “You’re starting to act like Ratchet.” The ginger lemon tea has turned stale, waiting for the drain. It was as if any sense of hunger within her had evaporated, which was strange considering the hangover. Amanda was more focused on trying to remember what exactly happened last night, trying to piece the fragments together like puzzle pieces in the dark.

“ At least you’re here now,” June sighed, placing her own plate by the table. The rest of their breakfast was spent in silence, the two women exhausted from their share of hard nights. June doesn’t know how much longer she could keep up with the strenuous pace of the emergency room, feeling helpless at the sight of so many causalities – “ Those night racers are up to no good.”

Amanda noted the eyebags under her eyes and she finished the rest of her meal with as much enthusiasm as she could muster, showing her appreciation. “ Thank you, for the meal, and for picking me up last night.” At that the nurse laughed, taking a bite. “ You can thank Ultra Magnus for that.”

She gripped her fork, staring at June. “ What?”

“ You don’t remember? How wasted were you ?” June grimaced, “ I couldn’t pick you up because of my shift. So I called Ratchet to send one of the Autobots to get you.”

The kettle whistled sharply behind them, prompting June to fetch it. At the clue, Amanda’s mind begins to clear, the mist shrouding her memories thinning by the minute. June poured herself a cup of tea – chamomile. She could remember their argument by the sidewalk, the rush of the traffic, the blisters against her toes, the keys that won’t fit the door.

Her fork fell with a clatter and Amanda doubled over, trying to contain her nausea. “ Amanda!” June was immediately next to her, a comforting hand on her back. “ What’s wrong?”

Mimicking the opening of floodgates, memories of what happened last night came rushing back to her. His hands under her knees, him in her room, her confession – “ _Fuck_. June, I-I messed up.”

June straightened. “ What do you mean? What did you do?” Amanda peered outside the windows, and suddenly his absence made perfect sense. Yesterday was supposed to be Ultra Magnus’s last night in the infirmary, and if he had wanted to continue their routine, he would have been here by now.

It was five minutes past seven, and her driveway was still empty.

“ Oh,” Amanda groaned into her hands, “ I’m so stupid. I must have scared him off.” Impatient, June stirred her shoulders so they were facing one another. “ Tell me properly Amanda, I can’t help you if you don’t spit it out.”

The next few words came out in a frantic rush, partnered by the reddening of her face, “ I confessed! I-I was drunk and I told him I was…I was falling in love with him.”

Amanda screwed her eyes shut. _This can’t be happening_ , she thought, _I just had to go and ruin everything_. “ This is all my fault. I can’t keep anything, everything will slip through my fingers.” She babbled, “ She was right, she was right –“

“ Amanda,” June shook her shoulders lightly. “ Look at me.”

June’s eyes were steely grey and under the light they turned copper blue. “Breathe. It wasn’t your fault, it was bound to happen at some point. How much longer do you think you can keep running away from this?”

“ F-for as long as it takes,” Amanda stammered, “Because that’s better than having him know the truth!”

“ What are you so afraid of, rejection ?” June asked.

Amanda swallowed. The air outside was humid, unusually warm this early into the day. “ No ! I’m past that, I can live with that. It-It wouldn’t be the first time.” She feels suffocated, her throat constricting on itself.

“ Ultra Magnus’s sense of duty exceeds his personal feelings. He is willing to lay down his life to further a goal or-or to make sure justice is served. In this way, he will never put me first – and I can’t ask him to. Not when the world’s at stake, not when his people are at stake. Confessing my feelings will turn me into a liability, it will turn me into something he can lose. That’s needy and unfair and selfish of me.”

She forced down a sob, “ But I also can’t live my life being someone’s second choice. I don’t want to be with someone who keeps sacrificing himself. A-and I refuse to allow myself to fall in love with him if, in the end, I’ll just lose him to this war! Even if he lives, he’ll have duties to fulfill, duties that are far more important than me. I’m not cruel enough to make him choose and I’m not strong enough to put myself through that kind of pain all over again.”

The silence that followed lasted for a while. June made no move to reply, the meaning behind her words lingering in the air. Amanda didn’t even realize she had raised her voice, recoiling in guilt. They cleaned up the table, and Amanda was thankful June didn’t point out her crying. It was only when they were by the door did June pulled her into an embrace – the hug nearly knocking the air out of her lungs.

She pulled away, looking directly into Amanda’s eyes.

“ You’re scared, I get that, but for what it’s worth - love is about having faith. You’ll never know if you never try.”

Amanda was left to ponder upon the advice as her car disappeared down the asphalt road. It stayed with her throughout the hour, echoing within the crevices of her mind as she sits by her vanity chair. The evening dress was fanned out around her, its midnight blue fabric rippling under the light. The actress cleverly tucked the last strands into a bun, letting several loose, allowing them to frame her face.

She pressed her lips together, trying to even the lipstick. Her reflection stared at her, tired eyes concealed behind powder. Amanda practiced her smile, grinning as she would when greeting people. The corners of her mouth wavered – and a rush of sadness hit her square in the chest. She put her face in her hands, _pull yourself together_. Exhaling, she tried again, again and again. Only when she was satisfied, did she leave her room, killing the lights and putting on her heels – the blisters from the previous night poorly concealed by a layer of bandaid.

Amanda scrolled through her contacts, searching for June’s number – only to stop when she caught sight of the blue rig. _Fuck_. She ran away from the window, hiding behind a wall. _Why is he here_? It was too late, he had seen her, and he was honking for her to come out. Amanda took one look at the ceiling, bracing herself, before slipping out.

The breeze circled her, tugging the hem of her dress – showcasing the modest slit crawling up her thighs. They stared at one another, and Amanda, so unusually scared – made no move to approach him. As if sensing her stress, he scooted forward, “ Amanda.”

She ignored the wounded tone of his voice – deciding that she’s finally lost it and was now imagining things. “ Ultra Magnus.”

The driver’s door opened, “ I’m here to take you.”

Shock seized her face, “ You are?”

“ I made you a promise, I intend to keep it.”

The cold nipping at her skin was urging her to go in, and she hugged the coat draped on her arm closer. She was careful to slide herself against his seat, acting as if it was her first time. When he didn’t move she look around warily, “Ultra Magnus?”

“ Seatbelt.” He reminded.

Amanda glanced at the strap, “ Oh, right.”

She made a move to grab it, only to have it wrap itself around her. Her heart squeezed at how tender the movement was. Careful to avoid the seams of her dress, it clicked in place. This way, Amanda could almost imagine him embracing her – holding her. Yet she ignored it, knowing it’s just a ridiculous hallucination conjured by her stupid little crush.

It was funny, how they started their meeting with Ultra Magnus begging for some peace and quiet to him dreading it – throughout the ride, he would find ways to cut through the silence. – “ Are you sure you have all you need?” “ Where is the location of this reservation?” “ Will I be able to secure the perimeters?”

Amanda wanted nothing more than to fall into their usual pace, but she finds that impossible with the lump in her throat. In the end, every answer was short of their usual lengthy discussions. – “ Yes.” “ The Victoria-Lauberhorn Resort, Jungfrau, Swiss.” “ Yes.”

Throughout the entire ride, Amanda held her breath. She waited for him to say something, to confront her, to call her out, to reject her. Instead, he pretended as if nothing happened – and she didn’t know if she should be relieved or infuriated. _How could he_ , she thought, _did he think so little of it that sweeping it under the rug would fix things_?

Around them, the mist thickened and the unmistakable roll of thunder growled threateningly. Above, in the skies, one color hung on, rapidly fading. Blue. It disappeared between the cluster of grey, before parting to release a heavy drizzle.

Welcoming the first rain of the year in Jasper, Nevada.

* * *

Fowler made it explicitly clear that he wasn’t excited about the idea. The agent delayed them for another hour, explaining how he wants Amanda to steer clear from as many pictures as she can. The woman had dryly agreed – “ I’m not here to crash my ex’s wedding, Fowler. I’m here to attend it.” The fact that she used to be his ex would either draw people in or make them steer clear, Fowler hoped for the latter. That’s why he insisted she doesn't stay for long, another suggestion she could not agree with more. As for her disguise, Fowler had resolved to giving up by this point – “ They will notice you one way or another, might as well go in there, guns blazing. We’ll take care of the cleanup.”

Once the ground bridge deposited them a couple of miles before the estate, Amanda was immediately overwhelmed by anxiety. She tries to not let it show, although she doubts it’s working, as she is currently reapplying her lipstick for the third time. They were parked on the furthest edge of the lot, overlooking the stream of guests pouring through the entrance – their laughter carried by the wind.

Leaning to reach for her coat in the backseat, Amanda’s brows furrowed at the relic resting above the cushion. “ You brought the shield with you?”

“ Ratchet insisted I take it with me. He couldn’t hide it from the children.” She smiled, knowing that children heavily implies to Miko.

Amanda draped her material over her shoulders, bracing for the eternal snow. Ice was beginning to coat the corners of his windshield, and Ultra Magnus scanned her attire with his side-view mirror – “ Are you sure that is enough to keep you warm?”

Amanda glanced down, “ No. But if I freeze to death, at least I die pretty.”

She could sense his frown, going for the door, only to hesitate. It was all about timing, she needed to be careful, to think this through – but as the crowd awaits, Amanda knew she needed to get it off her chest. She can’t juggle two things at once, and if she doesn’t want to collapse from the exhaustion of bottling up here feelings, they need to sort this out. Now.

“ Ultra Magnus –“

“ Amanda-“

She caught herself. “ Please, you first.”

“ I insist,” He replied, voice strained.

She seamlessly complied, following his command. “ About what happened yesterday…that was really irresponsible of me. I’m so, so sorry. I should have never said that. I take it back.”

Amanda wanted to say more, struggling to find the right words. Only to have him intervene. “ I see… I understand. You were intoxicated, you didn’t know what you were saying.”

She froze. _He thinks it’s all a lie_ , _a drunken ruse_. She ignored the barest hints of shock and disappointment in his voice, continuing. “ Yes.” She seized the moment. “ I-I was just drunk. I didn’t…” She couldn’t find herself to lie to him, letting the sentence hang in the air. “ I hope this doesn’t ruin our friendship.”

“No.” The door opened. “ It does not.”

She nodded, feeling her breath fog up, “ Okay. Good. And you’re sure you’ll – you’ll stay here for me? You don’t have to, it’s going to be a long wait.”

She wasn’t wrong. The place was crawling with security, men in suits, and military gear scouring the perimeter – the resort’s personal guards. It would be unlikely that anything would happen to her in broad daylight.

“ You’re right, I don’t have to.” He admitted. “ But I’ll stay.”

Not understanding the reason behind why she was so fiercely grounded beside him, Amanda tried to pull herself away, walking for the entrance. Barely completing two steps, she turned around, forcing her best smile – “ H-how do I look?”

There was a moment, and she could feel him earnestly taking her in. She did a small twirl, letting out a soft laugh. Snow danced in the light around them, a choreographed ballet conducted by the gentle wind. Aside from the brown of the denuded trees, the only other color was the vivid saffron staining around the base of each lamppost, tree, and shrub, along with the navy glow of her dress.

She wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t answer – he never does.

“ You look...beautiful.”

With that Amanda made her way to the carpet, confused as to why her heart only felt heavier.

* * *

“ Ultra Magnus, what’s your status?”

The Autobot picked up his comms, tearing his eyes away from the couple talking by the fountain.

“ No signs of Decepticon activity, sir.” He reported, scanning the area. However, he might have spoken too soon, as the crows perching by the branches were sent to a frenzy by the receding sound of a jet cutting through the sky. The plane swerved behind the alps, briefly catching the attention of several passersby below. “ Hold that thought. I’ve spotted a potential threat, permission to investigate, sir?”

“ Proceed with the utmost caution, commander,” Optimus replied.

Ultra Magnus spared the building one last look, wondering where she was. _It doesn’t matter_ , he thought, _as long as she stays within the building, nothing can hurt her_. He pulled out of the lot, driving into the dirt path down the woods – reluctantly trusting his liaison in hands other his own.

* * *

The room buzzed with excited chatter and children ran between the tables in a good-natured game of tag. Amanda shyly sipped her champagne, posing as a wallflower by the end of the balcony. She admired the sea of snow, her thoughts lost within the endless stretch of white.

“ Excuse me.” She raised her head at the voice. The man raised his brows, and for a brief second, dread consumed her at the thought that someone had recognized her. Until he shook his head, rubbing the back of his neck almost bashfully. “ I-I’m sorry, you’re just…has anyone told you, you look beautiful ?”

Her thoughts skittered to what Ultra Magnus had said earlier. “ Yes. But, it is appreciated all the same.”

She wasn’t in the mood for ice breakers, but it would serve some benefit to pull herself out of her thoughts before she drowns in them. He straightened his tie, extending a hand. “ Cade.”

“ Amanda.” She shook his hand.

She was eying the tenacious blossoms lined by the patio, and Cade chuckled. “ You’re wondering how the roses can bloom under all this snow?” She nodded and he shrugged, taking a sip of his fizzy drink, “These ones must’ve been brought in by a courier. Wild roses naturally die in winter, but I heard the roses all the way up here have learned to adapt. – “ He pointed to the cluster of trees ahead, “Although, once they wither, they’ll leave behind nasty thorn bushes. You wouldn’t want to cut yourself in those.”

They fall into comfortable chatter. He’s an engineer, or as he referred playfully, an inventor. An old high school buddy of the bride – “ I’ve been with her since kindergarten.” The continued to talk, indulging in mindless chatter until they parted ways, that’s when Amanda bumped into him – literally.

“ Oh, I’m sorry – Amanda ?”

She forced a smile. “ Tom.”

His face split into a grin. “ Amanda! You came – “ He laughed, “ I’m, I’m glad.”

They retreated to another balcony, one concealed on the far end of the room. It was secluded enough that the conversations behind them faded into a distant lull. He pulled out a cigarette, lighting it. The puff of black disappeared into the air, where several words hung between them.

“ I’m sorry.” He spoke, voice rough.

“ It was in the past.”

“ But I hurt you, didn’t I?” She could hear him shove his lighter in his back pocket, the tail of her coat brushing her ankles. “ And for that I’m sorry. Things didn’t end so well between us – we were young, I was young. I wasn’t ready to commit, I know that now. You deserved better.”

“ I did,” She admitted, not bothering to hide her hurt. There was a moment where she could hear the wings of a rook flying in the distance – the bird swooping down to perch on the bark of a dead tree. “You left me. It hurts, to know that I wasn’t as important as I thought I was to you back then. I can still feel that hurt until now.”

The wind rolled down the alps, sweeping strands of her hair back. Amanda should be furious, she should be landing a _slap_ across his face right now. She wanted to scream, to yell, to make him understand just how deeply he had wound her. Yet, as the sun begins to emerge from behind a thick layer of clouds, Amanda couldn’t find it in herself to do any of those things.

Instead, she remembers why she’s here in the first place, what she needs to let go.

“ I may not be ready to forgive you, but…I am ready to try.”

There was a moment where none of them spoke. She could feel him looking at her. Finally, he rubbed the corner of his eyes and she nudged him, keeping her eye on the view before her. “ You’re not supposed to be sad on your wedding day, idiot.”

She could feel his grin, “ I know, I know.” He sniffed, “Enjoy the buffet, it cost me a ton of money.”

She smiled at that. He seemed to have noticed the heaviness in it, and he shifted on one leg, leaning forward against the railing.

“ Who’s the guy?”

She furrowed her brows at him. “ There’s no guy.”

“ You’re a shit liar, Amanda.” He sighed fondly, before catching sight of his soon-to-be bride. He beckoned her to come forward, introducing her to Amanda. They fell into easy conversation. Amanda was surprised at how tolerable it was, she might even call it enjoyable.

Under the dimmed lights, Amanda watched as they exchanged vows. There was a familiar tugging in her heart, one she so cleverly concealed with her smile as the crowd cheered.

Within those four walls, time seemed to blur uncertainly – she was swept away into the reception. The new bride and groom entered, followed by the scraping of chairs as folks got up for a standing ovation. Smiling and holding hands, the happy couple made their way to the head table. After a few moments, the toastmaster rose from his chair and everyone else sat down. The sound of his teaspoon rapping on the side of his wineglass signaled everyone to silence, except the children who were shushed by their parents.

Amanda stopped talking to the nice woman on her right, listening to the groom’s speech. She rolled her eyes at the cue cards, knowing that it’ll be long and extremely sappy – yet she finds herself listening halfway through. He was quoting a sermon, one she’d heard about briefly.

“ Well now really when we go back into falling in love. And say, it's crazy. Falling. You see? We don't say "rising into love". There is in it, the idea of the fall. And it goes back, as a matter of fact, to extremely fundamental things. That there is always a curious tie at some point between the fall and the creation.”

The staff was closing the windows, shielding the guests from the oncoming gusts. Outside, the trees stand starkly in the winter. They look so forlorn in the frigid early evening, with already the short winter daylight fading.

“ Taking this ghastly risk is the condition of there being life. You see, for all life is an act of faith and an act of gamble. The moment you take a step, you do so on an act of faith because you don't know that the floor's not going to give under your feet. The moment you take a journey, what an act of faith. The moment that you enter into any kind of human undertaking in relationship, what an act of faith.”

Amanda thought back to June’s words, her fingers faintly clenching above the table. She could smell the salty breeze of the sea and hear the gushing of the streams, she imagined the aurora lights – the feel of her skin against the warm metal.

“ See, you've given yourself up. But this is the most powerful thing that can be done: surrender. See. And love is an act of surrender to another person. Total abandonment. I give myself to you. Take me.”

She thought back on their first argument, on their silhouettes by the pantheon, on their short stops for breakfast. He was always so gentle with her, cradling her, holding her, protecting her. She imagines his guilt by the cliffside – the furrowing of his brows, the subtle slump of his posture. Under the shadows of the base she could see him turning his back on her, she could see him nursing a cube of Energon. His eyes, she always goes back to his eyes - _blue_. So very _blue_.

The beeping of his life monitor, she can never forget.

She closed her eyes, feeling overwhelmed and excusing herself, striding down the long hallways.

 _Faith_.

Amanda pictures his hands under her knees, carrying her up the stairs. She imagines the moon, high and proud amongst the darkness of the night. _Stay_. She could hear herself ask. _Stay,stay,stay,stay_ -

She jogged down the steps, ignoring the cold nipping her skin as her coat bellowed behind her. Amanda doesn’t have a clear point on where she’s going, all she knows is that she needed to see him. To see Ultra Magnus – even after everything, she still instinctively reaches out for him.

The building began to disappear out of view as she searched the lot, wondering where Ultra Magnus was. Against the pavement, her heels clicked noisily, and she made sure to be careful, not wanting to slip on the thin sheet of frost.

Behind her, a car slowly approached and she stepped aside, letting it pass her. Amanda glimpsed at the sleek Aston Martin, noting its flashy paint job. The tinted windows cracked open, enough for her to hear its driver’s voice. “Need a lift ?”

“ No thank you,” Amanda shook her head, picking up her pace.

The car stopped in front of her, “ I’m not taking no as an answer.” Before she knew what was going on, the door swung open and something grabbed her, metal fingers shoving her inside the driver’s seat. Amanda’s scream was cut off by the door closing, and the engines revved, speeding her down the road.

“ You’re- you’re a Decepticon !” She yelled, mortified as the seatbelt crushed her against the cushion. Her purse must’ve fallen along the way, that goes her chance on ever contacting Ultra Magnus.

“ Name’s Knockout.” He purred. “ So you’re the organic Starscream’s been prattling about. How valuable can you possibly be, that he needs you alive?”

He emphasized his last words by strapping her tighter, the edges of the belt scratching the column of her neck roughly. She coughed, pushing it away with no avail – “ Let me out !” That only earned her a tighter grip, one that made her breathing stutter. Amanda clawed at it before giving up, hands falling on her sides as she fights off the claustrophobia. They were going so fast she worried that he’ll crash, zipping past the trees above the snow.

“ For Ultra Magnus’s plaything, you sure know how to dress.” He hummed appreciatively, the rearview mirror eying her. “ But is that _Dolce_? Very last season.”

“ It’s _Valentino_ , asshole,” She choked out. Purposely, he made a sharp turn, causing her head to hit the side of the door. Amanda yelped, feeling the throbbing blossom around her temples. “ You’re feisty.” The dizziness forced her to lay against the chair, leaving her to fight off the hazy feeling.

 _Ultra Magnus_ , she thought, _where are you_?

* * *

She couldn’t tell how long they’ve been driving, it could have been half an hour, judging from how deep they are in the woods. The pine trees had their branches outstretched, needled leaves reaching out into the sky. Above the foliage, the crows were sent into a frenzy by the violent revving of Knockout’s engines. It took her some time to realize that they weren’t the only ones disturbing the forest’s slumber. Several miles from the path they’re descending, Ultra Magnus was throwing punches at Dreadwing. She slammed her hands on the windows repeatedly, calling out for him. – “ Ultra Magnus !”

The red Decepticon only silenced her even further, gagging one of the straps around her mouth. Her mind was running miles per minute, asking, why, how? In the distance, she could see Starscream, trying to sneak up on the Autobot. Her eyes widened at his readied cannons – but Ultra Magnus was quicker. He must have known, as a result, he parried Dreadwing’s blow – using his weight against him. The two Decepticons crashed into one another, tumbling against the foot of a sturdy pine.

“ Soundwave,” Knockout hissed into his comms, “ Requesting for Groundbridge.”

Amanda thrashed in her seat. At the same time a blue portal opens before her. The explosive Dreadwing snuck behind the commander must’ve detonated – sending Ultra Magnus onto the ground. Now facing them, his eyes widened at the sight of Knockout heading towards the bridge. In one swift movement, the Autobot second in command unearthed a tree – throwing it in their direction. Amanda instinctively ducked, but the blow never came. Ultra Magnus's aim was precise, and the trunk hit its mark, landing a short distance away from the sleek convertible. Knockout hit his breaks, but it was too late – so he transformed instead to escape the impact, sending Amanda out of the car and onto the heap of snow.

The Ground Bridge closed on itself, earning a frustrated groan from the Decepticon.

She scrambled upwards, patting herself for major injuries before rushing away from her captive. She stumbled, cursing when her dress caught itself on a thorn of wild roses. Knockout growled in annoyance, heading towards her. Amanda roughly pulled and at the sound of ripping fabric, she scrambled away, nearly missing Knockout’s grip. The only direction Amanda could sprint to was Ultra Magnus’s, even if he was currently fighting off two seekers.

“ No !” Ultra Magnus warned, tearing another explosive from his back. He threw it into the open, and it exploded midair, sending rubbles of twigs and leaves flying everywhere. “ Amanda, stay away! Run !”

Like a frightened animal, she skittered away – yet she was conflicted. On one side, Ultra Magnus was being crowded by the enemy and on the other, Knockout was inching towards her, struggling to not sink into a bed of snow. Under the chill, her blood was burning, rushing adrenaline throughout her limbs. Her legs were screaming at her, trembling as it wanted to do nothing more than run. Yet her mind grounded her in place. Trapped in a dire conundrum, Amanda has never felt more _frightened_.

In her peripheral vision, a flicker of light caught her attention. Not far from her, was the shield, half-buried inside the snow, it was most likely thrown out of Ultra Magnus’s sub-space mid-fight. Realizing that none of the Decepticons knew it was here, Amanda decided to seize the moment. The actress scrambled towards it, her heels, having been abandoned half-way, now left the soles of her feet to brace themselves against the biting frost.

Once her hands landed on the surface, she desperately analyzed the carvings – trying to decipher its meaning. Having no choice but to squish months’ worth of research into mere minutes. In the distance, she could hear Ultra Magnus roar in fury, the charging of his canon ringing throughout the trees. With her back turned to him, she could only imagine from the noise that his fist had roughly collided with Dreadwing’s. “ Agh! C’mon !” Amanda groaned, shaking it, “ Please, please help us !”

A thought flittered through her – it was ridiculous, farfetched, yet she had no other choice. Amanda steadied her breathing, hauling the relic with one hand. Above, Knockout’s hand swiped at her – she ducked just in time, rolling away. – “ Why, you little pest !”

A stinging pain shot up her shoulder, but she ignored it, defying Ultra Magnus’s orders to run towards him. Deep down, Amanda knew this was the only way – but that didn’t stop uncertainty from gripping her heart, nearly faltering in her steps. The seeker made a face, watching her run under her legs. Momentarily surprised, the seeker didn’t have time to aim his blaster at her when Ultra Magnus grabbed him by the shoulders – and in one swift movement, he tossed him to the other side, towards Dreadwing.

“ Amanda – “ His voice was cut short when Dreadwing aimed his blaster at his back, sending Ultra Magnus forward. He would have crushed her if he didn’t use one arm to prop himself up – shielding her with his the other. “Get away from here !”

“ No !” She screamed. “ I’m not going to lose you. Not today, not ever.”

Heavy footfalls rapidly approached them from behind and Amanda shoved the shield into his hand, prompting him to turn around and raise it. The shield, which was barely the size of Ultra Magnus’s palm, began to expand midway – similar to how Ratchet had once explained mass displacement, a part of Solus’s mystic and science coursed through the relic.

“ I’m not losing anyone else !”

There was a resounding clang, the noise reverberating over the woods as mighty as a thunderclap. It was as if the impact from Dreadwing’s sword against their shield had absorbed all the energy, before billowing outwards, creating a powerful propelling motion against the Decepticon. Amanda burrowed herself deeper into his curled hand, feeling the wind rush past her ears. Quick on his feet, Ultra Magnus took advantage of the given leverage – rushing to place a devastating punch under Dreadwing’s jaw.

Amanda raised her head, watching Knockout stand several feet behind them. Starscream was most likely knocked out from the impact, laying unmoving not far behind. The medic gritted his dentae, knowing that they don’t stand a chance. “ Soundwave, reopen that Ground Bridge.”

Not long after, the blue portal reappeared and Knockout urged his second in command to retreat. Dreadwing stood his ground, reluctant, yet Knockout argued – “ If Lord Megatron ever finds out, he’ll have both our heads !” The bigger mech narrowed his eyes at Ultra Magnus, who had his blasters ready, as if he was willing to do it all over again. In the end, they retreated, and by the time they disappeared – so did Starscream, the sound of his jets propelling in the distance.

The snow around them begins to fall, peppering her face softer than any kiss. The branches hang low with the weight of the snow, welcoming the silence that came rushing in. A few feet before her, Ultra Magnus’s posture begins to waver and he slumped forward, stumbling on his feet.

“ Magnus !” Amanda shouted, running towards him. He dropped to his knees, clenching his side. Amanda was instantly next to him, climbing atop his chassis as he lay above the snowy earth. Ultra Magnus graciously gave her a boost, circling his fingers around her once more. Her breath came out as puffs of white, eyes searching, “ What’s wrong? Are you injured?”

Her gaze slid to the side of his abdomen, where a thin wound grazed the metal. The commander shook his head, and relief seized her entire body once she realizes it’s not too dire. He sat up, cradling her with both hands. She raised an arm up, beckoning him, and he complied – leaning his cheek into her touch, eyes fluttering shut. That’s when Amanda began to cry, “ I – I thought I was going to lose you.”

He let out a weak chuckle, catching the teardrops with a finger, “ I told you. I’m not going anywhere.”

She hiccupped, pulling his face closer with both hands, resting her forehead against the smooth metal of his chin. Embraced by the familiar warmth, Amanda’s crying began to soothe. _He’s here, he’s safe and he’s not going anywhere_.

He pulled away, “ You’re hurt.”

Confused, she looked around, only to catch sight of her wound. As she sprinted to his aid, her foot must’ve carelessly cut themselves against a bed of roses– her blood dripping out of the precarious wound and onto the snow. She couldn’t even feel the pain, laughing it off – “ It doesn’t matter.”

“ How did you know it would work?”

She thought about it for a moment. Cap-sized snowflakes drifted soundlessly, taking their time before they reached their destined places of rest, enveloping everything in a calm, silent coldness that was comforting in its own special way. The rose bush swayed with the wind, its flowers blooming like gems.

His eyes stared back into hers, careful, determined, relieved. The shield lay above the snow, a striking clash of golden and white. It rippled with energy, surging with the familiar blue glow of Energon powered machinery. It has shrunk back into its original size, reminding Amanda of a coin in comparison to Ultra Magnus.

“ Believe it or not, I didn’t. I just- I just had faith.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I suck at fight scenes, I'm so sorry. I know this sounds super cheesy and kinda unoriginal, but hey, let's see how they progress after this  
> The sermon Tom recited was Alan Watts's falling into love.  
> I hope you notice some parallels I've inserted and I hope this chapter was enjoyable  
> P.S - I know your brain is swarming with questions, don't worry, they'll be addressed in the next chapter


	16. even if it kills me, you're the one that I want

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone ! I hope you are all well <3  
> Here is another chapter :)

Although Ultra Magnus briefly helped in keeping the cold out, the effect was temporary, and soon Amanda could feel the chill seeping through her skin – easily penetrating the thin material of her torn dress. Her coat, along with her shoes, were both victims of the battle and the actress was left to sit on the couch with shivering arms. Jack draped the blanket around her, allowing Amanda to pull it over her bare knees.

At the sight of the torn flounce, Amanda should be mourning, yet the matter seemed trivial compared to what they’ve just gone through – and she finds herself shuddering at the thought of what would happen if Knockout had crossed that Ground Bridge with her. She yelped, retracting her foot out of June’s grip.

“ Hold still,” June commanded, worry written all over her face, “ Even if the cut’s not too deep, I have to disinfect and clean the wound before you lose any more blood.”

Once she finished wrapping the bandage, June went to discard the gloves into the bin, going for the sink to scrub her hands. “ How did this even happen?”

“ I- I’m not sure,” Amanda answered, “ How did he even know where I was?”

“ We have reason to believe that Megatron is still unaware of your existence,” Optimus answered, standing next to his second in command. Ratchet must have quickly patched him up because Amanda could no longer see the wound across his abdomen. “ Based on what Ultra Magnus told me, it is possible that Starscream had sent out a high-frequency signal with an embedded message, directly aimed towards Decepticon communication channels.”

“ Why would Megatron bother on sending Knockout to help him ?” Jack asked, “ Starscream betrayed Megatron.”

“ As much as Megatron wants him dead, he probably wants to keep him as a prisoner – or rather kill Starscream himself,” Arcee replied. “ Whatever the reason, it worked. But Starscream wasn’t injured.”

“ No, he wasn’t. It’s all a ploy to get the ‘Cons to do his dirty work.” Bulkhead agreed.

“ Knowing that Knockout wouldn’t come alone, he must have tried to use you as a bargaining chip." Smokescreen added," Which would mean he told Dreadwing and Knockout about the relics, and how you're their best chance at finding them. Either way, holding you hostage could be used against us."

" But something doesn't seem right," Wheeljack removed himself from the wall he's leaning on, " We know what Dreadwing's like, we've fought him before. He's devoted to Megatron. Something tells me he'd rather offline than help Starscream."

" Are the Decepticons that desperate then?" Miko huffed.

" Although his loyalty to Megatron is fierce, Dreadwing is willing to go against his orders when it comes to combat. He knew he could not pass up the opportunity, even when it comes from the hands of the enemy." Optimus spared a glance at Amanda's legs, a small frown thinning his lips.

" It still doesn't explain how he knew where I was." Amanda leaned to take a closer look at Raf's laptop, the boy scrolling through countless of tags.

" The only way he could have known was through the wedding." Raf pushed his glasses back, " But, this means he had to dig through your biography."

"So he stalked you." June made a face. Amanda recoiled, " So when magazines announced that Tom would be getting married, he knew I would be there."

" He purposely distracted me, so Knockout could come and get you." Ultra Magnus stated. _I should have stayed_ written all over his eyes. Amanda shot him a comforting look. " It was no one's fault."

" How do we know Megatron won't come looking for you?" Arcee narrowed her eyes. 

" We don't. It's either they decided to keep this between themselves so Megatron won't have their heads for going against his orders, or they'll tell him about you because they want the relics just as much as we do." Wheeljack sighed.

Bumblebee let out a series of beeps, his doorframes shooting up. " No, Bee," Raf replied, " I don't think the incident exposed the location of our base."

" It's a good thing that we have most of these relics in our hands then." Amanda cleared her throat, burying herself deeper into the blanket. " I doubt we'll find more any soon."

" Speaking about the relics. How did you finally activate the shield?" Miko asked and everyone turned to look at the shining metal, before looking at her. Amanda squirmed under the scrutiny, looking away. " I - I don't know." She lied. " I think it activates when the user is in danger."

" It didn't expand when I used it back in Vienna." Bulkhead mused.

" Yeah! " The teenager agreed. " And we were up against two 'Cons."

" I-I'll have to do more research," Amanda fumbled. It was obvious everyone knew she was withholding information, Wheeljack and Arcee specifically, from the way they were eying her, but they know better than to press on. In time she will tell them, so soon enough everyone began to disperse like ships in the night - falling into their respective routines.

" You should rest." Optimus advised," Both of you."

With that, he left the two of them with June. The nurse walked her through changing the bandages, telling her when and how often she should disinfect the wound. – “It doesn’t need stitches, but it does need a lot of attention.” Amanda thanked her, to which June answered with a hug. They stayed that way for a while, and once the nurse broke away, she gave Amanda a familiar look, one she gave earlier this morning.

 _Have faith_. Her eyes whispered. _You can’t run from this forever_.

They spent the entire ride in silence, the earliest signs of dusk scratching the skies. Amanda fell in and out of sleep, sinking against the driver’s seat. He reclined the cushion, urging her to put her feet up. There was a certain kind of warmth against her skin, one that made it difficult for her to keep her eyes open. Ultra Magnus seemed to notice this, and suddenly his driving began to slow, careful to avoid any holes that could wake her.

He called out her name, the syllables unusually gentle on his tongue. Her eyes fluttered open, and as if she was roused from a dream, Amanda frowned. She quenched her disappointment, seeing that they were already by her driveway.

The rearview mirror reflected her bandaged foot.

“ Hey.” She called out softly. “ I’ll be fine.”

There was a sigh before the door clicked open. The pavement was cold against her foot, nearly making her clamor back inside – yet she stood her ground, unable to put anymore distance between them. The windchimes by her neighbor’s door whistled with the wind, the melody gracefully twirling with the breeze.

“ Ultra Magnus…I -” Her throat was on fire. Amanda’s heart was pounding so fast she thought she could hear her bones rattle. He waited, almost leaning closer. _The truth_ , she thought, _I just need to tell him the truth_. Yet, her hand only wavered, pulling away from the handle. “ I- I want to say thank you.”

“ You’re welcome. I should thank you as well.” He closed the door, almost in a hurry. “ You should get some rest.”

“ You too.” She walked to her porch, only to stop midway. “ Wait – “

His tires screeched. “ Yes?”

“ Will you be here?” She asked, “ Will you be here tonight?” The mauve of the dusky sky intensified, and in just a while, the biggest star will set and plunge the sky into darkness. The birds chased the last rays of gold, chirping above them.

“ I will.”

With that, he left, and Amanda felt more tired than she was before.

* * *

“ This is the upper portion of the chest area. The cavity alone has over one hundred and thirty-two mainframes attached to it. Each like the _Hexa-Lateral Scapula_ , they have interlayered bone components that allow Cybertronians to convert between our alternate and bipedal forms…” Ratchet’s lecture was the only thing breaking the afternoon silence, followed by June’s occasional replies – “ Oh this is more complex than I thought. Humans only have twenty-four ribs in twelve pairs. All are attached to the back of the thoracic vertebrae, with most of the ribs joined by costal cartilages to the sternum.”

Amanda shot them a glance. They’ve been crowding the computer screen for nearly an hour now, lost in discussion. The Base was devoid of anyone else, yet the children should be back from school soon and so will the bots out on patrol. She organized her papers, clipping them together. At the same time, Fowler decided to walk through the doors – “ Amanda !”

At his call she pushed out of her chair, concerned. “ Yes?”

“ I’ve got news for you.” The special agent placed an envelope on her desk.

“ Is it good or bad?” She cringed.

“ You decide. Here’s your last paycheck – in cash to avoid Decepticon tracking.” Amanda picked up the brown paper bag, briefly scanning it before placing it in her purse. “ Last paycheck?”

“ Hold your horses. I’m not firing you – but you are free to go.” He explained. “ Next week will mark the end of our five-month contract. You did well, in helping us uncover the relics, and based on your research I think we’re right on schedule. Prime agreed that these relics are enough to give us the boost we need, and he understands if you want to go back to your normal life. I heard Broadway’s waiting for you.”

At that, the conversation behind her died down. “ I can go home?”

“ If that’s what you want,” Fowler shrugged, “ Mind you, I can’t prolong your contract. Uncle Sam debriefed me earlier, and he made it explicitly clear that he will be cutting expenses when it comes to team Prime – those damn fools still think we’re bound to go rogue, anyways, this means housing and other expenses are out of my control. Yet,” He placed a hand on her shoulder, “ Even if you’re no longer working for the United States Government, you’re welcome to stay and help.”

“ What about the Decepticons?”

“ We will provide security, following protocol. You’ll be able to go back out in the open a month after your return home, in the meantime, I believe you can stay with your aunts in France, as I believe you’ll also have to prolong your American visa.” Fowler straightened his tie, “Like I said, timely.”

“ Wait !” A voice shot up and Amanda whirled to see the children. They stood next to their guardians, with Miko already running up the stairs. “ You’re leaving us ?”

Ultra Magnus was there next to Ratchet, his eyes on her.

“ I…” Amanda trailed off, “ My contract’s finished.”

“ Ms.Laurent has done us a great deal of service,” Optimus announced, “ We understand that you have personal matters to attend to. These relics are sufficient, and I believe the rest are far from Decepticons’ reach. However, Agent Fowler is correct, you are welcome to stay if you wish.”

“ Thank you, Optimus.” Amanda nodded, giving the team a soft smile. She avoided Ultra Magnus’s gaze, thinking about her first meeting with Fowler. He was giving her old life back, one they both thought would be unsalvageable after this. She thought about the auditions, the unread emails from agents willing to take her under their wing, the chance of getting back her one-room apartment in New York.

 _Maybe this is for the better_. Amanda thought. The children were crowding her by the railing, already asking questions and planning her farewell party. She searched through the commotion for Ultra Magnus, but he was already gone.

 _It’s better to put some distance._ She lied. _It’s better this way_.

* * *

These days, the Base was often empty. The children were now busy with their upcoming school play, including Raf, who was assigned to help control the lights and sound system. Not to mention that most of the team are always on missions, having detected more Decepticon activity than usual.

Amanda didn’t mind the silence, but the last person she thought would have time to talk to her was now approaching.

“ Ms.Laurent.”

She raised her head at the voice, lowering her pencil. “ Optimus. It’s nice to see you.”

“ Likewise.” His eyes skimmed over the shield. “ How is your research fairing?”

She let out a chuckle. “ Not bad, progress is slow as usual though. As for the shield, it has proven itself useful in combat. I think it’ll be a good addition to your arsenal.”

“ How exactly does one activate it, Ms.Laurent?” He inquired. With that, Amanda mentally slapped herself. She hasn’t exactly told anyone about how it works. Ultra Magnus couldn’t provide any concrete explanation, concluding that it activates on contact with danger – but if that was the case, then Bulkhead and Miko shouldn’t have put up that much of a fight back in Vienna.

Amanda, however, knew the truth.

“ I,” She lowered her head. She knew she couldn’t keep this up for long, eventually, the truth was bound to come out. Her father would often quote a famous saying, he’d said it a thousand times that the phrase was now seared into the back of her skull. _There are three things that can never be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth_. Now that she’s standing in front of Optimus, she could feel herself slip into talking.

Besides, she doesn’t have it in her heart to lie to him.

“ Do you – do you still remember the story of Aphrodite and Adonis?” At his little head nod, she continued. “ I believe Aphrodite made this shield in his name. Out of regret of having failed to protect her lover, Solus made a shield to protect whoever wields it, so no one could ever relive her pain. And I believe, it only activates when – when…” Amanda swallowed.

“ When it’s used in the name of love.” She whispered, “ More specifically _Agape_.”

“ The Greeks believed in seven kinds of love, one of them being _Agape_ : the highest level of love to offer. It’s given without any expectations of receiving anything in return. Offering Agape is a decision to sacrifice yourself to love, or for love.” Amanda could feel her hands tremble.

It was a plausible explanation, considering that the relics forged by the Thirteen had mystic embedded in them. A holy combination of science and magic.

She didn’t dare to look at Optimus’s reaction – keeping her eyes on her feet. There was a moment, and she could hear the gears in his head turning. After an eternity, he finally knelt. Footsteps were emerging from the other end of the hall. At this, she retreated, but Optimus made no move, simply regarding her with a thoughtful expression.

“I see."

He pulled away just in time. Ratchet spared them one suspicious glance before going back to his work.

The verbal admission gave her enough space to think. Amanda didn't know if she should take Optimus's ominous reply as a green light, leaving her twice as confused. He looked as if he wanted to say more, but even he knows this was something only she can do alone.

After that, Amanda could no longer focus on what she was reading.

* * *

Behind her, the mist from the shower crowded the room. Amanda wiped the mirror, taking a glimpse of herself. She had stopped using her contacts months ago, and eyes like honey were free to adjust to the light. Her already honeyed skin was now even tanner, and she smiled fondly, thanking the Jasper sun.

At the sight of the bleached curls, Amanda wanted nothing more than to return them to its original color, already making plans to dye it once she gets home. It’s funny, she thought, how much five months could change her.

She might look the same, but there was a certain kind of change in her eyes she didn’t recognize. Amanda quickly bandaged her legs, carefully tightening the strands. Rubbing the last few drops away, she wrapped a towel around her hair, donning her robe before opening the door.

“ You’re done.” June smiled, “ Good. Because I don’t know if I should put this with the coat or the jackets.”

“ Coat,” Amanda chuckled. She knelt to join her. “ Thanks for helping me, June.” It was a surprise when she had asked to come over, knowing the nurse’s schedule, squeezing some free time seemed impossible. Yet, June was not unwelcomed, especially when she eagerly offered a hand in helping her pack.

“ I don’t know how you can get this done in less than a week,” June looked around.

“ Half of these boxes are just clothes,” Amanda shrugged. “ Papa used to tell me my closets could fit _Narnia_. He wasn’t wrong.”

She mulled over the memory of her late father, thinking back to all their jokes. June placed a comforting hand above hers, before continuing. The first few minutes were spent in comfortable silence, but as usual, chatter will worm its way into the spaces – and soon enough they were both lounging on the fur carpet, a bottle of wine between them.

“ You need to tell me what’s going on between you and Ratchet.” Amanda sipped her glass, wiggling her brows. June lazily threw a pillow at her, “ Nothing’s going on! We’ve just been talking…he’s been teaching me a lot on Cybertronian medicine, and vise versa. Ever since _that_ question, he’s been surprisingly eager to share information.”

“ Just talking? I guess that’s development when it comes to Ratchet.”

“ He never leaves the base, so we can’t go to romantic places like you and Ultra Magnus,” June rolled her eyes. “ How you guys aren’t all over each other is beyond me, you’ve been to Athens. _Athens_ together. Good God – “ She poured herself another glass.

They talked some more, varying to different topics before always circling back to him. In the end, Amanda realized they were just beating around the bush. Outside, the sky was darker than usual, since Jasper was now welcoming its rainy season – which wasn’t as devastating as one might think in the middle of nowhere. The days were even more humid, to make way to colder nights.

Ultra Magnus would enter her driveway by eight, but ever since she found out that sleeping in alt modes could cause heavy strain – she had insisted that he and Smokescreen take turns. – “ I don’t want you to dislocate a muscle or a cable because you keep sleeping in your alt mode.”

Tonight was Smokescreen’s turn, and despite the second in command’s warning, the rookie’s always late. Which would mean, she has about fifteen more minutes to get her words out of prying audio receptors – Amanda’s still not over the fact that Cybertronians can hear through walls due to their extremely acute sense of hearing.

“ You’ll miss me, won’t you June?” She leaned back against the foot of her bed.

“ Hmm not really.” She feigned, “ I have Arcee to keep me company.”

“ Wait- you talk about these things with Arcee ?”

The nurse shrugged nonchalantly, “Please. We’re both grown women.”

She let the comment slide, keeping the information in the back of her head. June, being the responsible drinker, stopped after a glass, knowing that she’ll be driving home tonight. It wasn’t as if they planned to get shit faced drunk anyways, all they needed was just enough to get that fuzzy feeling to keep the cold out.

“ I will miss you, but not as much as he will.” Amanda didn’t need to ask who she was referring too, letting the words settle. “ You don’t have to hurry. Even without the contract, Fowler said you can legally keep the house for another month. Something tells me you’re in no rush to go back to work either.”

Amanda could only nod at that. She was right. The paycheck Fowler gave was enough to support her for _years_. He wasn’t bluffing when he said it could do more than just put food on the table. At first glance, most people would think Amanda’s loaded with money – except most of that money came from what her mother had begrudgingly left behind. It didn’t sit well with Amanda that she’d leech off cash from a woman who only loves her out of obligation, so she left it all to her aunts, wanting to make something of her own.

And she did.

It wasn’t like she was going to use her paycheck as an excuse to slack off, but she wasn’t going to use it all up anytime soon – if anything, it could earn her some time off.

“ I don’t.” She whispered, voice suddenly hoarse, “ But I can’t stay. I have to keep my distance.”

At this June let out a sad sigh, twirling the empty glass in her hands. The woman wanted to say more, Amanda knew, but in the end, she let it slide – knowing it wasn’t in her place. Not long after, June left to spend the remainder of the evening with her son. – “ It’s movie night. We’re going to rewatch _Ocean’s Twelve_ for the hundredth time.”

In the end, even after Amanda had closed the window, the cold still surrounded her. _Who am I kidding_? She asked aloud, into the darkness of her room – because she knew not even the wine could replicate the warmth she so desperately craves.

* * *

She dreams of roses, an entire garden of it. She dreams of each undulating petal, red like rubies, dancing in the light. They bloom against the winter, persevering against the snow. His hands were around her, fighting off the cold. She could feel every tremor, every thrum of his spark, rippling under her fingers. In an ocean of red, the only color she could see was blue – the warmest color. Blue.

She dreams of roses, an entire garden of it. She dreams of him.

And Amanda is tired of dreaming about things she cannot have.

* * *

The desert at twilight was a vast undulating sea, punctuated by the shadowy silhouettes of cacti. Amanda wrapped the jacket around her tighter, bracing herself against the oncoming chill. They were scouring the rocky pathways of the valley, on their way back from an Energon scout. Before her, the Ground Bridge swallowed the last Energon crates, leaving her and Ultra Magnus alone.

Her phone beeped, urging her to answer the text message Miko had sent. From above, he looked at her curiously. “ Is something the matter?”

“ No,” She turned off the device, sliding it in her back pocket. “ Miko’s asking me what flavor I want for my cake. She wants to go all out for tomorrow’s farewell party.”

At the mention, the air turned somber, and Ultra Magnus suddenly felt so far away despite standing right next to her. Her eyes glided over the needles of the eucalyptus tree, watching it shiver. Amanda wrung her hands together.

“ I guess,” She straightened her hair, “ I guess this is our last recon together.”

It was strange, Amanda thought, how he hasn’t brought up the subject before. Everyone else has been trying to make the best out of her remaining stay. She’d spent the whole day with the children, playing water balloons until they were soaked to the bone. Smokescreen had convinced her to go for a ride, and much to Ultra Magnus’s demise, they had gone racing in the desert pathway. Amanda has even taken June and Arcee to an outdoor bar, letting the Femme stay in her alt mode by their garden table while they drink to live music.

Everyone has been trying to make the best out of her remaining stay, except for one.

“ Yes.”

She tries not to let her sadness show – but perhaps this was for the best. _It makes things less hard_ , she thought, _it makes it easier to leave_. Amanda felt like a hypocrite, leaving him, but it wasn’t like he was asking her to stay. He’d been passive about the news, almost nonchalant - and that made it even more painful.

“ What are your plans, after the war is done?”

The sand scattered beneath her boots, dusting the material of her jeans.

“ I would most likely devote my time in rebuilding Cybertron.” He walked over a boulder, lifting her up over it. “ If we were to welcome refugees back into our homeworld, preparations must be made – “

“ I was asking about what you’ll like to do, not what you’ll need to. What do you want to do?” The ground felt unsteady under her, and she leaned against the canyon wall. If it wasn’t for the unusual shine of the Jasper moon, the shadows would have consumed her – but from here, Ultra Magnus could still see the sadness in her eyes.

“ That is what I want to do.”

“ Nothing else?” She urged on. For a moment he seemed thoughtful, almost rueful. She fiddled with the green pleated desert scarf around her neck, waiting.

“ It doesn't matter.”

She stiffened, and as if he could sense the frustration in her voice, Ultra Magnus’s eyes widened. “ It does, Ultra Magnus. You are worth more than what you can give other people, you deserve to have something of your own too.”

“ That would only make it more difficult for me to put my duty first.” He confessed. “ It is not a luxury I have thought of before.”

That was enough to crumble any remaining sense of control she had. As if she was the tide pulled by the moon, she approached him, looking at him directly in his eyes.

“ Why do you think so little of yourself ?” She whispered harshly, “ You talk as if you’re going to spend the rest of your life fighting this war, or dying in it. You live your life as if you’re expendable. ! You go into battle with nothing to lose, how could you be so _selfish_?”

“ We are at war, sacrifices must be made,” He defended,” I am not an exception. I’m a soldier, it’s what I’m -“

“ Trained for? You’re more than that, you’re more than just another cog in the machine. You’re always talking about what _needs_ to be done, but what do you _want_ , Ultra Magnus? “ She sobbed, anger wrecking her body and spilling tears messily onto her cheeks, “What do you want?”

His eyes shifted and he regarded her sadly, in a way that stripped him of his rank and title - tonight he wasn’t Commander of the Autobots, here under the blanket of the night with Amanda, he was just Ultra Magnus.

Tired and weary, Ultra Magnus.

“This battle is bigger than me, it’s for the fate of my planet, my people. It does not matter what I want.” He whispered, almost as if he was _afraid_. “This cause is worth dying for.”

He eased a finger across her head, but she pulled away roughly. “You always talk about things worth dying for, but what about things worth living for? What about our little talks and recon missions, won’t you miss our arguments - because, because I will! I’ll miss your scolding, I’ll miss your frown, I’ll miss your eyes – I’ll miss you so very, very, much.” Amanda stammered, “ I thought putting some distance between us will help, I’m planning to leave only so you won’t get to leave me first. But I was wrong. I know that now. I – you matter to me, a lot, but I can’t continue to watch you throw yourself into the fire. Because – “

She clenched her fists. “ Because I can’t love someone who is always sacrificing, making deep sacrifices of himself! I need to know you won’t go where I can’t follow. _Stay_.”

Beneath them lay the mighty desert, brown, barren, desolate.

At the word, he initially recoiled, stepping back as if she had just electrocuted him.

Her face fell, heart heavy after carrying all that weight. “ What you want matters, it matters to me.”

The moon was high above the sky, a loyal companion to the stars. His gaze was starting to melt, the coldness fading away with each passing minute. The wind might have drowned out the hammered sound of her breathing, but Amanda could still feel the ringing in her ears.

“ What do you want, Ultra Magnus?” Amanda exhaled shakily, looking up at him. She roughly wiped away the tears, yet they kept coming – as if someone had been filling a glass drop by drop, the water has finally overflown.

The canyon path was narrow and uncivilized, leaving the wind to whistle as they race through the crevices. There was a moment where it was just the silence, the wind, and the nocturnal animals soothing the sun to sleep. Amanda hiccupped, rubbing her eyes in defeat.

At the sight, Ultra Magnus traced a finger across her cheek.

Although he was gentle, Amanda could feel herself stiffen. As if sensing her hesitation, he used his mass displacement – ignoring the cry of his injuries.

He waited for her reaction.

She stared at him. She watched as a raindrop fall onto the crown of his head and felt another fall into her hair. Behind them, Amanda could hear the slow roll of thunder.

Her legs pulled her closer. Even at his supposedly ‘shrunken’ size, Amanda barely grazed his shoulders. She craned her neck, " I don't know what will happen in the future, but all I know is that I don't want to leave you. Promise me you'll take better care of yourself, promise me you'll allow yourself to want, promise me you'll stay. Please, _stay_."

There was a moment. Amanda was scared he would pull away, that he would leave, but he stood his ground - gazing at her sincerely.

“ I promise.”

Amanda searched his eyes, watching the way they seem to ignite in the dark. She crossed the distance between them, and like two comets that have been dancing around each other’s orbit, they clashed. He was careful in kissing her, the gesture melting her heart. She could feel his smile against her lips, the gesture infectious.

She drew away from Ultra Magnus – just far enough that she could see his face.

By this time, the rain was coming down in earnest.

He was cradling her with a tenderness many often doubted existed, holding her in a way that screamed _stay_. Their foreheads touched, and she reached out to stroke his cheek, letting her hand slide down to his arm until their fingertips were touching. He laced them together. _Stay_.

And finally, finally, she surrendered – she let herself fall.

Safe in the knowledge that he’s there to catch her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Solus Prime, lounging on a beach chair in the Garden of Allspark:That's on what ? That's on endgame. Took them long enough, Alpha Trion, pop the champagne !  
> Alpha Trion, reluctantly bringing a bottle of high grade: please...what does that even mean?
> 
> * me with pom poms* horray ! The dialogues were a bit tricky for this part, but I'm kinda happy with how they turned out. I hope this was satisfying, ngl I shed a few tears writing this chapter hahaha  
> as always, feel free to tell me what you guys think ! <3  
> P.S - yes, I'm THAT cheesy to make them kiss under the rain


	17. we should just kiss like real people do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone ! I hope you're doing well, it's been raining where I am. Hope the weather is better where you guys are <3 Also yes, the title is because I've been listening to too much of Hozier's bog music.

The lake-side air was pungent with the fragrance of citrus. Amanda stepped closer to the edge and crouched down. From afar, the surface was an opaque green, but up close, the water was clear enough for her to see the plants and life below the surface. It was exceptionally sunny, the first sun in weeks – and according to her aunts, this was good for the vineyard.

In 1584, _Jean de Pontac Lord of Haut-Brion_ donated a windmill on the banks of the _Peugue_ river to the _Roman Catholic Grand Carmelite Order_ in Bordeaux. In 1630, the _Grand Carmelite Order_ expanded the estate by purchasing the surrounding vines and adjoining outbuildings located in the ‘aubrion’ area – which would unknowingly turn it into a strategic location for wine harvesting. In 2010, her aunts had eyed the property, and in under three years, they have turned it into the only Bordeaux _chateau_ to be actually set in Bordeaux.

The winery stretched for several miles behind her, the mansion resting atop the hill shrinking with every step. Her aunts have warned her not to wander too far, but Amanda needed some time to herself. The fruity scent lingered even after she had entered the thick foliage to circle the edge of the pond. She shed her dress, letting it rest above a nearby boulder. The retro two-piece swimsuit resting in her closet had sparked the idea, and urged by the countryside sun, Amanda decided to go for a swim.

The pond was shallow enough that drowning would seem unlikely, and so she wasted no time to dip inside.

She squealed at the cold, feeling the moss under her toes. The garden was always a shade brighter after the rain, and after last night’s storm, the buttercups have turned gold, the grass fading the shade of every dreamer’s meadow. The roots of the oaken trees were quenched, the soil underneath renewed. A litter of small fishes swam past her and Amanda laughed, watching the lily pads crowd her.

Now with the water around her shoulders, Amanda let her mind wander.

She smiled shyly at the memory, brushing her fingers across her lips.

After their kiss by the canyon, it was as if a great weight has been lifted off her chest. When they returned, Ratchet had scolded them for tracking water into the base, yet even with the medic’s reprimand, Amanda still couldn’t wipe the grin off her face – sneaking glances at her guardian now and then. At the announcement that she won’t be going home, Miko had all-too-enthusiastically hugged her that the cake had toppled off her hands. It was strange how Smokescreen and Bulkhead seemed to mourn over the loss of the dessert more than the children.

The farewell party was turned into a ‘ _Thank You For Staying_ ’ party– or as June had shrewdly called it, an ‘ _About Time_ ’ celebration. The team played silly games, ate together, and sang a few songs. Even Ultra Magnus had been successfully dragged into joining several activities. In the end, he had driven her home, with Amanda hugging the seatbelt the entire time.

The actress, however, still had to prolong her visa, and so the next day she boarded the first flight to France. Amanda agreed that taking the Ground Bridge will create suspicion, and so she spent the entire ten-hour flight thinking of him, flustered by how she’s already missing the Mech.

Ultra Magnus had been reluctant to allow her to go on her own, but they knew he couldn’t come with. – “ How will I explain all of this, hm?” And so, with one last goodbye kiss on the steering wheel, Amanda waved at him from the airport’s entrance, the blue rig only leaving once she’s inside.

That was why, when she heard the familiar sound of a portal opening, she jumped out of the water – running towards the foliage. Out of it approached Ultra Magnus, and Amanda threw her hand up, “ Ultra Magnus !”

He knelt, letting her climb onto his palm. She hugged his thumb. “ You came!”

“ I received your message.”

“ And Ratchet allowed you to use the Ground Bridge to see me?” She raised her brow, not convinced that the medic would let Ultra Magnus pass just because they’ve been apart for two days.

“ I’m also here to scout for Energon. I believe it is located within your country’s capital.”

“ In Paris? Ultra Magnus, that’s a six-hour drive!” She crossed her arms, “Why didn’t you ask Ratchet to send you there?”

“ Have I not made it clear ?” He asked, confused. “ I wish to see you.”

At this Amanda fought off a smile. She cleared her throat, leaning further into his touch. “ Well, here I am.” – At the phrase he regarded her properly, only to veer his eyes. Amanda tilted her head, trying to steer back his gaze. “What’s wrong?”

“ I apologize. I didn’t mean to interrupt your bath.”

At this, Amanda did a double-take at her swimsuit, before laughing. “What? No, I’m not – I’m not bathing Ultra Magnus, not in here. It might be secluded and out of sight, but if I wanted to shower, I’ll do it inside. I was swimming – just stretching my legs.”

She has heard about oil baths before. Arcee often talks about the public baths in Iacon – “ _The natural springs run deep within the city, and during colder seasons the baths would be packed with bots itching to warm themselves_.”

The pond behind her was far from a private bath, yet their discussion about intimacy was limited if not nonexistent – ripping her shirt didn’t count, and so she couldn’t blame him for shying away from what he presumed was a private moment.

“ I see.”

“You can look at me, you know,” She informed shyly, ignoring the flush down her neck. A mischievous part of her ravished the sight of his uncertainty, she might go as far as to call him flustered – but she appreciates the chivalry. He let his eyes fall on her, and a small smile weaved its way into his faceplates. He lowered her onto the ground, and she went back for the water, falling into conversation with him.

He sat by the edge, leaning against a boulder. Here, under the thick canopies and narrow roads, they had the secret garden all to themselves. – “ We’ve spotted a sudden rise in MECH activity, but we have evidence to believe that Silas isn’t involved.”

“ Oh.” Amanda anchored herself by a jutting rock, resting her hands above it, “ So he’s dead.”

“ It is a possibility.”

“ Should we be worried about MECH?” She swept her hair away, combing through it.

“ No. But one can never be too careful.”

“ It’s okay, I’m not afraid.” Amanda sprayed him with water playfully, to which he replied with a questioning scowl. “I have you.” – At that he let himself relax against the rocky surface, letting her coax out more conversations out of him than many thought he was capable of.

The bark of the apple tree had a sort of creeping mildew and the leaves were curled in an unhealthy way, its branches hovering right above Amanda, the sunrays squeezing themselves past the gaps to fall across her. A lazy atmosphere surrounded them, blending with the warm air.

“ I’m a French citizen, it’s in my passport, and if I want to stay in America legally – I’ll have to get a visa, a permit. Mine has expired, and so I went to the immigration office yesterday.” Amanda explained, “ And they said if I have to file a request with U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services…”

She didn’t know how long she’s been babbling, but there was a certain stillness in the air – one that made her skin melt against the stone. Somewhere along the way she had rested her cheek against her arm, tracing circles on the water, “ She told me she could get it done quickly, but I’m suspicious because the whole thing sounded so easy! It wasn’t this easy the first time I – Ultra Magnus?”

Her eyes fell on her guardian, who seemed to be lost in thought. At this, she immediately worries, straightening. “ What’s wrong?”

He let out a hum, flickering his eyes back to her. It took her a while to realize that he’s been staring, his blue optics grazing her lips. “ Nothing is wrong.”

She wanted to laugh at how content he sounded – he reminded her of a satisfied cat, simply basking under the light. Amanda always finds herself at awe with him, wondering what something so powerful and alien would ever want with her? What could she offer a titan who has lived for eons – who has seen everything and yet still decided to stay with her?

The best thing she could think of right now was a kiss – and so she beckoned him to come closer. As he rose, he made use of his mass displacement, quickly scaling himself so that she could slide her fingers across his shoulders and up to his neck. He let out a pleased hum when they graze the wiring, and she relished in the feel of his arms around her skin.

“ Kiss me?”

At her shy request, he went straight for her lips, pulling her close. Initially, she had braced for something foreign, for something different – yet kissing him felt natural. It was familiar, caring, warm. Her toes curled against the grass, and she broke away – inhaling shakily. His amusement was evident, and he allowed Amanda to collect herself before steadying her against a tree, letting his hands roam against the expanse of her skin.

In the beginning, his hands were hesitant – asking for permission. Once she’d given them, they confidently map every dip and curve, making her softly pant and shiver against the afternoon heat. Their kisses started as sweet, tender - before unfurling into a mixture of passion and enthusiasm. As if to make up for all the times he couldn’t kiss her.

She could taste his want, his thumbs stroking the underside of her chest.

Amanda shivered.

At this, he trailed his mouth down the column of her neck, hands firm above her hips.

“ Ultra Magnus,” She gasped, arching into him instinctively. Suddenly, he put some distance between them, pulling away. He admired her shamelessly, watching the rise and fall of her breathing. A finger grazed the pulse point by the junction of her neck, skimming the underside of her chin. She blushed deeper at his expression - a strained mixture of awe and want. Ultra Magnus pulled her to his chest, kissing her forehead. Her eyes fluttered shut at the feel.

“ Are you alright?” He asked and Amanda whiplashed, could only nod. From what she had observed, out of everyone, Ultra Magnus was the most indifferent to physical touch. Unlike Bulkhead and Smokescreen, who love to communicate with their body language and expressive gestures, Ultra Magnus was more reserved, falling behind formality.

That was why she didn't expect such a bold move. Yet, she has to admit – it wasn’t unwanted. She could hear the birds chirping around them, her heartbeat settling.

“ I’m – I’m alright.”

“ You should dry yourself,” He wiped the drops atop her cheek with his thumb. “ You are easily susceptible to the cold.”

She went to her basket, pulling out her towel. Amanda wrapped it around herself, before going to hug him once more – resting her cheek above the Autobot insignia on his chassis. “ When are you leaving for Paris? I’ll come with you.”

“ What about your family?” He looked down.

“ They’ll be fine.” She chuckled, “ I’m a grown woman, I can spend a night in Paris if I want to.”

“ Very well. I will be leaving soon, will you be ready in half a cycle?”

Amanda nodded. After settling their arrangements, she had half-heartedly untangled herself from him, pressing a kiss against his cheek before collecting her things. Her aunts, as expected, were confused as to why she would suddenly leave for the capital. Yet, a small, harmless lie about an audition she couldn’t pass up was enough to pacify their concerns.

The actress packed light – knowing it was unlikely that she’ll spend the night there. She told her aunts that she’ll ask their neighbor for a ride to town, knowing that it was an hour's drive to the station. With the promise of being back before midnight, Amanda hurried to the gates.

Five months ago, the idea of letting herself fall so quickly in love again seemed unlikely, much more with the Autobot’s no-nonsense commander. Yet, here she was – laughing against his seat as the radio sang in the background, the lush countryside disappearing behind them.

* * *

“ So you told him.”

June poured herself some water, the flashy decoration around the paper cap matching the ones hung on the railings. Miko wasn't joking, she had gone all out, even going as far as to tie some balloons – and the gesture warmed Amanda. In the distance, Smokescreen and Bumblebee were playing _Twister_ with the boys – Arcee laughing with Bulkhead in the sidelines.

Amanda finished the last of her grape soda, casting Ultra Magnus a glance. “ I did.”

He was talking with Optimus, deep in conversation. The afternoon sun didn’t glare down upon them as it used too, eased by the new season, it cast a nice glow over the hangar. She could hear the boys cheer when the two Mechs collapsed on top of each other, followed by a burst of laughter. At this Optimus turned to the commotion, momentarily giving Ultra Magnus a chance to look at her.

Their eyes locked – this time, he held her gaze with the briefest hints of a smile across his lips.

“ Yeah.” Amanda ducked, hiding her grin. “ I did.”

* * *

Locating the Energon was easier than expected – as it was buried within a public park. Under the foliage, Ultra Magnus helped Arcee load the remaining crates through the Ground Bridge. Amanda watched from a distance as they exchanged words, feeding the pigeons the last crumbs of her bread. They crooned at her feet, pecking away at the dough.

The sun was peeling itself away from the sky, dipping the sky in a captivating hue of lilac and auburn.

She could hear him transform into his alt mode, engine ready – at this, she climbed inside the cab.

“ You’re not going to go back?” Amanda asked.

“ No.” He answered. “ I told Arcee I’ll secure the perimeter.”

They circled the area, going up a wider path. In the distance, people were seen lounging on picnic cloths. Children were flying their kites high into the sky, the paper diamonds surfing the breeze. It took her a while to notice that they were driving past the gates, leaving the park behind – “ Uh, Ultra Magnus, we just left the perimeter.”

“ I am aware.”

She furrowed her brows, leaning closer against the wheel. “ What’s going on?”

He didn’t answer – and as much as she wanted to press on, his driving suggested that they were clear of any danger. So, she let him guide her through the city streets, watching the half-moon hover by the fringes of the luminous cityscape. There’s a certain quality hidden within the walls Paris, where everything is a perfect blend of metal and marble.

Amanda pointed to every monument they pass, excitedly sharing with him what each of them meant. – “The Arc de Triomphe! If you look closely, engraved on the surfaces are some of the nation’s historic victories, battles, and great military leaders.” Ultra Magnus simply listened, earnestly answering every comment from time to time.

He parked by a public space, an open area overlooking the Seine River. He entered a deserted pathway, veering off the main road to go under the bridge. Amanda could see the waters illuminate with the streetlights glimmering above. She could hear the street performers – the melodies from their violins and guitars drifting around them.

“ You’re not just securing the perimeter, aren’t you?”

“ Optimus has entrusted me with another task. He wants me to learn more about your culture. I believe this would serve as an acceptable opportunity.” He referred to the people interacting around them, yet at this Amanda swatted his steering wheel playfully, laughing. “ Just say you want to take me somewhere nice !”

“ I believe the human term you once used was – hitting two birds with one stone.”

“ Does this count as our first date then?” She playfully suggested – taking a sip from her thermos.

“ You once described your ideal date as a meal by a scenic view. I believe we’ve indulged in them countless of times before, have we not?” At this Amanda’s tease backfired, and she was the one to flush red. Caught by surprise and amusement, she let out another hoot – clapping her hand together.

“ Who would have suspected you for a sweet talker?”

Lights glittered everywhere just liked stars falling to the earth, huge and small buildings collided in a mixture of shadow and geometry, tiny vehicles rushing along tangled lines of streets creating twisting threads of light - they all intertwined together in a magnificent mess of dream.

Ultra Magnus questioned her silence. “ Do you not enjoy this?”

“ I do! I’m just taking it all in,” She smiled, before doubling over to laugh – not able to contain it anymore. “ We’re in Paris, France.” She snorted. “This is so _corny_ !”

“ Is that bad?”

“ No,” She hugged the steering wheel. “ It’s just… what I want. This,you and me. Is this what you want?”

The view was spread beneath them, a network of roads and rail sprawled below, mazes of cul-de-sacs and houses like the tiny models on an architect’s street plan. In the distance, lay the Eiffel Tower - a skeleton of metal projecting up into a sky that was rapidly turning darker. People were taking pictures, sitting atop the hood of their cars.

Ultra Magnus relaxed under her, humming in agreement.

“ It is.”

* * *

His lips were everywhere, devouring her, worshipping her, hovering above her neck to ghost down her chest. The ocean roared in the distance, the wind carrying her whines into the starless sky. Their bodies pressed together, needy, _flushed_. The trees were singing, swaying in longing, _aching_. Shrouded by the perpetual twilight, his eyes _burned_ blue. _Blue_ , _blue_ , _blue_ \- the altar beneath her was hauntingly cold, different from the warm, steel hands crawling up her thighs – _higher_ , _higher_ _and higher_.

Amanda gasped soundlessly into the shadows of her room, fisting the sheets as reality washed over her. Her breathing echoed throughout the four walls, fragments of her dream ebbing away. The space beside her empty.

Mortified she pressed her face against her pillow, _what_ _just happened?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy this bit. I'll let them have a peaceful date  
> As always, feedbacks are welcomed if you want to drop them <3 ;)


	18. la vie en rose

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone ! I hope you're all doing well <3  
> This is a long chapter, to make up for the late update !

“ You’ll need to sound more convincing than that, Jack.” June snickered, trying to hide her laugh from her son. Jack deflated, “ It’s that bad is it?”

June placed a hand on his shoulder. “ Er – no, but you’ll need some improving to do.”

At this the teenage boy placed the papers on the stairs, falling into conversation with his mother. Amanda walked up to them, having finished her phone call. The three sat around the table, enjoying the quiet afternoon.

“ How’s practice going?” Amanda gestured to the script. “ Going well?”

The boy shared a wry look with his mother, before sighing in defeat. “ Not so well. I used to think that acting was as easy as it looks – now I know better than to underestimate you guys.”

At this Amanda laughed, tipping her head back. “ You said it. People think being an actress is easy. I’ve had people tell me that I shouldn’t complain about my job, but like any other profession – acting has its difficulties. If you take it as a professional career, its grueling work. The competition, the pressure, the influence – but hey, this is a high school play, it’s nothing we can’t tackle. Let’s review some scenes now that I’m free, I’ll be more than happy to help.”

At this, the boy’s eyes lit up – and they were now by the foot of the stairs, taking advantage of the empty base for practice. Surprisingly, Ratchet doesn’t seem to mind, not when he’s in deep conversation with June.

Amanda smiled at the choice of play – the Wizard of Oz was a classic. The fact that Jack had chosen to be the scarecrow made it more amusing than it already was. She shouldn’t be surprised when the casting call has Sierra as Dorothy in it.

“Well, what would you do with a brain if you had one?” Amanda asked, filling in the shoes of Dorothy

Jack cleared his throat. “ Do? Why, if I had a brain, I could – “

He glanced around the base, and when the woman urged him to continue, he relented, singing. “I could while away the hours! Conferrin' with the flowers. Consultin' with the rain. And – and Miko’s videoing me, isn’t she?”

The two spun to catch sight of the girl snickering by the entrance, this time it was Arcee who laughed first. At least the Femme tried to look ashamed in getting caught, Miko on the other hand, was leaning by the wall – trying to steady herself as she doubled forward. At this, the children fell into playful bickering, and Amanda welcomed the rest of the team from their mission.

Her eyes searched for him, and her grin widened.

Until she remembers her dream.

She coughed awkwardly into her shoulder, skittering back to her table. Amanda spared him one last glance before putting the binder in front of her face. _This is ridiculous_ , she thought, _you’re acting like a schoolgirl with a crush_. She wouldn’t call herself sexually repressed – she’s not afraid to admit that she does get frustrated from time to time. But after that dream – that _realistic_ and _vivid_ dream, she wanted nothing more than for the ground to swallow her whole.

They’ve only been together for a week now, was it too soon for her to be thinking of such things? Was she being too needy? Too desperate? These days she’s been fighting with her consciousness more often. A part of her would groan in defeat - _why won’t you take this as a sign to get down and dirty with him_?

 _Because,_ the rational part of her would reason, _we don’t know if he feels the same_! _Is he even attracted to us that way_?

 _Of course_! - Her ego argued, _why wouldn’t he? We were never rejected before, why would we be rejected now? Not to mention that we could make that dream into a reality, what do you say? Those arms, hmm I can watch those arms_ –

 _Enough_! She buried her face in her hands. _We are not doing this, especially not on Aphrodite’s altar!_ _We respect the Prime, we are not going to have sex on her_ –

“ Amanda?”

She jolted, the file knocking off several pens and paper. More than a few eyes and optics landed on her, watching her curiously. She picked up the fallen stationary, cringing. “Ah, shit. Sorry – what was that?”

The actress stood up, facing an unamused agent Fowler. He raised a brow at her questioningly, before shaking his head to pass her a box. “ This was mailed to you several days ago, but since you are no longer staying in New York, we’ve asked one of our agents to send it my way.”

She took the box in her hands, weighing it. Amanda skimmed through the card. “ Ah! Finally, I’ve been waiting for this. Thank you, Fowler.”

Miko, naturally, was by her side in an instant. With Jack and Raf not far behind. She tore through the plastic, raising the poster. Miko gasped, “ Is that you?”

“ Does it look like me?” Amanda asked, genuinely curious.

“ It does – but _woah_ , what is this for?”

“ This felt like a lifetime ago,” Amanda laughed, straightening the print.“ In 2003, I was chosen as the fragrance Ambassador for _Dior_. Right after my press launch for _Pride and Prejudice_ , I went over to shoot this advert for _Miss Dior_ , _Eau de Parfum_ , the latest addition to their fragrance collection. It felt like a dream – I can still remember what I was doing when my agent called me. I spilled orange juice all over the floor when she told me the news. They must have been trying to mail this to me, but since I was busy going back and forth to France at that time – they must’ve forgotten.”

“ It reminds me of the faction propaganda back on Cybertron.” Arcee mused, walking up to them.

“ War propaganda?” Raf asked. “ You guys had those?”

“ Naturally.” Smokescreen nodded. “ The Autobots and The Decepticons didn’t immediately wage war against one another. In the beginning, we started as different political factions, sparking debates and opening discussions – but as time pass, tension grew amongst our people. One of the first signs of war was the emergence of propaganda. The Autobots agreed that hanging holo-posters would help play a significant role in keeping the Mechs and Femmes at home informed about what was going on."

“To the ‘Cons,” Wheeljack continued. “ This was their chance to systematically produced propaganda as a way to target the public and alter their opinion. I remember they used to hang holo-posters all around Vos to get flyers to join Megatron.”

“ Did it work?” Raf asked.

“ With Starscream in it?” Bulkhead frowned. “ Surprisingly.”

“ Weren’t you in one of the holo-posters, Arcee?” Wheeljack teased. The two-wheeler shoved him. “Can it, Wheeljack. I took that offer because Chromia said we couldn’t turn away the chance to earn a few coins. Everyone here has at least been on one of them.”

“ Ultra Magnus has been on one.” Bulkhead agreed – at this everyone turned to face him. “ Don’t you remember? Right after the rescue on Hydraux Plateau, factories printed at least a hundred holo-posters of the wreckers – mostly with Ultra Magnus on the cover, considering that Optimus made him second-in-command the day after.”

They stole a glance at their commander, who had his back turned to them by his station. Amanda raised her brow. “ Any chance you still have that holo-poster stashed somewhere?”

Wheeljack smirked. “ Why so curious?”

Amanda didn’t openly announce her relationship status, she didn’t need to ask to know that Ultra Magnus was strongly against PDA. She wouldn’t be surprised to hear that no one knew about them, but from the way Wheeljack was leaning against the wall and the smile Arcee gave her – Amanda knew things hardly go unnoticed inside such a small group.

“ Research purposes, obviously.”

Amanda let Miko cradle the bottle of perfume they’ve shipped in, telling Jack to keep an eye on her while she ogled it – “ Huh. It’s kinda heavy for perfume.” Amanda explained some more things to the group, diving into an eager explanation about Earth fashion.

“ When Christian Dior launched his label in 1947 he had one focus: to redefine the way that women dressed. A lot of people don’t know just how closely bound fashion is to history. That year, Christian Dior, presented an impressive 90-piece collection to magazine editors at his Parisian townhouse on _Avenue Montaigne_. Appropriately titled ‘New Look’, it was a response to the end of rationing and the war.” Amanda walked over to display the dress they’ve gifted her with, gesturing to the trademark style.

“ It was an indulgent approach compared to that taken during World War II, and because of it, Dior was an overnight success. No to mention that female empowerment triumphed within Dior’s work and when he launched his first fragrance, it was his sister – a member of the French Resistance and a survivor of the _Ravensbrück_ concentration camp – who he named it after.”

“ Impressive.” Wheeljack nodded. “ Is this why you’re really into these things?”

“ It’s not just self-indulgence – it’s also a way for me to connect with people and myself. I’m not going to deny that the fashion and movie industry themselves can be problematic, but as long as we strive for inclusivity, I believe we can bring back the true meaning of media – a form of expression.” Amanda sighed. “ Not propaganda.”

At the silence, Amanda lifted her head from the box. Wheeljack was smiling – “ What? I’ve bore you to death haven’t I ?”

“ Maybe, but not him.”

When he gestured behind her, Amanda spun to see Ultra Magnus. He regarded her carefully, and she tried to read between the gaps of his professionalism. “ Hi.”

Before he could greet her back, Miko had called her – “ Hey Amanda! What about this one, are these part of the collection?” She walked over to the table, leaning down. “ Yes, this is for the tabloid article in _Cosmopolitan_. They let me promote one of Dior’s dresses while they conducted an interview – you know, to make the photoshoot more interactive.”

She and the children went through each picture, laying the prints on the table – they shared a good laugh and two. It took her a moment to notice that Ultra Magnus was staring at one of them, and she followed his gaze.

Her cheeks burned.

The picture wasn’t exactly suggestive – but the sequin dress she had on was backless, loosely pressed against her front to reveal the smooth expanse of her shoulders. She was leaning next to the wheels of a car, the flowers flocking her as she posed for the camera. Her lips were parted. Lashes curled and cheeks dusted.

Ultra Magnus was trying to feign indifference, but Amanda knew better, and she didn’t know what to feel, knowing that she had that kind of effect on him.

She tapped a finger over it, breaking his trance.

His eyes landed on her.

There was a moment – it couldn’t have been more than five seconds. She could feel a certain static crawling up her skin, and Amanda had to fight off the pull, leaning away from him to tuck the pictures back into the box.

“ I think that’s enough for today – shouldn’t we practice more of your lines, Jack?” Amanda suggested.

While Miko gloated on how smart she was for landing herself on backstage duty, she could feel his eyes on her the entire day, and it makes it harder for Amanda to ignore the coiling in her stomach.

* * *

“ Get down !”

At his words, Amanda ducked behind a boulder, shielding herself from the onslaught. It was a shame that the Vehicons had to invade their quiet routine patrol. The four have been tailing them for a while, and once his suspicions were confirmed, Ultra Magnus led them away from the city – engaging them head-on in the open.

Amanda peeked from behind the stone, eyes widening at the sight.

She knew Ultra Magnus was a good fighter – it was a natural assumption. He was the Autobot’s Second in Command, it would only make sense if he knows how to properly throw a punch. Wheeljack said it himself, he’s appointed leader of the Wreckers for a good reason, and judging from the way the Vehicons were struggling to keep up with him, Ultra Magnus was truly one to exceed expectations.

She’d seen him fight multiple times, yet there was something about the way he lifted the clone as if he weighed nothing – tossing him onto the ground where the rest of his friends lay. Amanda gaped at the sheer show of strength, only realizing her staring when he approached her.

“ Are you alright?”

“ I should be asking you that.” She breathed out, eyes darting back to the immobilized soldiers.

He didn’t even look tired, if anything, he looks like he’s ready to go again. The sun was beating down on them, cooking the city alive. His cooling fans whirred loudly around her, trying to accommodate the cruel heat. Amanda didn’t need a weather forecast to predict heavy rain tonight.

A shiver slithered down her spine, “ Should we go now?”

He eyed her.

Amanda didn’t know whether she should blame it on the excess adrenaline or the unbearable heat, but once Ultra Magnus was satisfied with the distance they’ve put between the Vehicons – he stopped by the side of an abandoned tourist trap to press her against the wall of the shack, hands roaming around her skin.

“ Ultra Magnus.” Amanda gasped, feeling his fingers skitter against the hem of her skirt. His mouth was on her neck, nibbling the soft skin. If it wasn’t for the knee between her legs, she would be on the floor. The friction between her thighs urged a moan out of her, and she instinctively arched. – “Ah!”

At this, he dipped his hand under the _Nike_ skirt, grabbing a handful of her ass to pull her closer to him.

He played with the white fabric, admiring the thin sheen of sweat coating her skin. She raised a brow at him. “ You like my skirt?”

He let out a hum, kissing her one last time before pulling away. At this, Amanda whined, trying to steer him back to her. Yet, his decision was final. He tucked a strand behind her ear, before transforming into his alt-mode.

At this Amanda let out a sigh, climbing into the rig.

* * *

The earrings moved under the light of her dressing table, and she clipped her necklace in place – smiling at her reflection. She straightened the creases off her dress, watching the way the hem furled above the tiles.

“ Amanda, we have to go now !”

At this, the actress snatched her purse, pausing to apply her lipstick before making her way down the stairs. June was rummaging through her bag, looking for her keys when she caught sight of her friend. The nurse beamed. “ Ready?”

“ Ready! Do you have your keys?”

“ Yes, they’re here. Do you have your coat?”

“ Yes, yes – let’s go !”

The pair laughed, getting inside June’s car. The night of the play was finally here, and Amanda changed the batteries of June’s camera in the passenger’s seat – making sure that it was working. Parents and friends were invited to come – and for the first time in years, June was glad she didn’t have to attend school events alone. The parking lot was packed with cars by the time they arrived, and when they made it inside the gymnasium most of the seats were already filled.

“ Oh no.” June frowned. Amanda, wanting to make up for their delay, immediately grabbed June’s wrist to head for the two empty seats ahead. “ There !” Trying to not topple over in heels, Amanda rushed to the spot, only to come face to face with a teacher.

“ Are these seats taken?” She asked, feigning a frown.

The man pulled back with a polite smile, waving his hands in front of him – “ Nonsense! No, please, by all means.”

Once seated June gave her a _that did not just happened_ look. “ He’s the principal, and that was his vice. He just gave you his seat,” June laughed, craning her neck to watch the pair seat themselves several rows behind. “ He’s never done that before.”

“ First time for everything.” Amanda winked, raising the camera. She did promise everyone that she’ll get the whole thing on tape, Ratchet would throw a wrench at her if she didn’t capture it in perfect quality.

The lights around them dimmed, and music filtered through the speakers. The night went smoothly, and from where they’re seated – the women were able to get a clear view of Jack. Amanda couldn’t forget the way June clapped when Jack got his lines right, and the actress even saw Raf up in the catwalks – monitoring the lights. Once the curtains closed, they took pictures and cheered – Amanda made it her duty to throw a stalk of rose at Miko’s feet once they made a rollcall for the backstage helpers. The girl had given her thumbs up, gesturing to Vince, who was grumbling to himself as a tree.

They stayed for some snacks, the four waiting by the fountain to let June finish her conversation with a few parents.

“ Excuse me.”

Amanda whirled around, quickly finishing her scone before taking the man’s hand. “ I believe we haven’t met, ms – “

“ Amanda. Call me Amanda.” She smiled sweetly, falling into conversation with the principal. It didn’t take long for her to grow tired of the man, listening to him pointlessly brag about the school’s accomplishments. Just as he was about to reiterate the history of Jasper High, Amanda caught sight of a blue rig pulling up the driveway – catching the attention of several people.

She beamed, using this as a chance to excuse herself. At this, June bid her goodbye, ushering the kids to her car. Amanda climbed into the passenger’s seat, thankful that the night was able to conceal him away from prying eyes.

Amanda gave the steering wheel a kiss – only to burst out laughing when her lipstick-stained the exterior. She tried to rub it off with the sleeves of her dress, recounting the performance to him.

“ You know the Tinman reminds me of you.” She mused, letting her hands trace the dashboard.

“ Why is that?”

“ I’m not sure.” She admitted. “ Maybe because he’s made of metal – but the only difference is that he wanted a heart. You already have one – don't you?”

“ I don’t have a heart.” He scoffed. “ But if it’s a spark you’re referring to, then I think you know the answer.”

The moon was high tonight, the evening rain clearing the sky of any clouds. She was enjoying the silence when he broke it. “ The dress you wore tonight, I have not seen you wear it before.”

Amanda smiled. “ It’s usually worn on formal occasions. It’s called _batik_. It’s an Indonesian traditional garment. Batik is both an art and a craft, which is becoming more popular and well known in the West as a creative medium.”

She held out her sleeve into the light. “ The art of decorating cloth using wax and dye has been practiced for centuries. In Java, Indonesia, batik is part of an ancient tradition. The process itself is considered sacred - to make a batik, selected areas of the cloth are blocked out by brushing or drawing hot wax over them, and the cloth is then dyed. The parts covered in wax resist the dye and remain the original color. Making nearly every garment unique in its own way.”

She turned to the side view mirror, flashing him a smile. “ Do you like it?”

“ I do.” He answered.

Amanda hesitated. “ Do you think I- I look pretty in it?”

This wasn’t the first time she’d ask, most of the time she’d do it out of teasing. He would seldom reply to her playful quips, but from her careful tone, Ultra Magnus turned his attention to her – avoiding a pothole.

“ You are beautiful, no matter what you wear. I believe I have mentioned this before.”

“ Oh?” She chewed her lip.

“ During our first recon.”

Amanda searched her head for the memory, looking through the past. She furrowed her brows. “ When you comforted me about what Miko said.”

She could imagine him nodding. “ I told you, you are worth more than your beauty.”

“ Wait – does that mean you, you thought I was pretty back then? Barely a few months after we just met?”

She waited, hoping she hasn’t crossed a line. The tires crunched beneath them as they pass a row of buildings. He stopped by a red light.

She waited, holding her breath.

“ Even when you were angry with me, I could not deny the fact that you are beautiful…that I find you beautiful. I knew from the moment you yelled at me for what happened in the museum.”

Gripped by shock, Amanda’s eyes could only widen. There was a sudden flutter between her ribcages, melting into a familiar warmth. “ When – when did you know you…you had feelings for me?”

Without the clouds, the moon hung full and hazy beneath an eclipse of blazing stars, the dots hanging above them, as if strung in the air by invisible strings. She could feel the seatbelt tighten around her, just enough to make her breath hitch in surprise. Amanda slid her hand over the strap, encouraging him.

“ I knew from the moment I continued to drive you around.” He started his engine, going once the light turned green. “ Even when we had sufficient Energon to utilize the Ground Bridge.”

The magnitude of his admission hit her like a train, easing her back against the chair. She released the breath she was holding, processing the meaning of his words.

“ You…” She breathed out. “ You’ve liked me for a while, haven’t you?”

For all she knew, it could have been earlier than her epiphany. All those times he’d spent, longing, wishing, waiting – months of silence all because he didn’t think he was worthy of pursuing anything for himself. She knew he must have had his moments of denial, but the idea of having him suffer like that unknowingly made her heart clench.

“ I have.”

She let her tears fall on top of the steering wheel.

He stopped, pulling aside. “ Have I upset you?”

She shook her head, “ No. I’m just, I’m just happy. I’m happy that we have each other now.”

There was a moment, where she could feel the seatbelt adjust itself to cradle her. The shadows were now swallowed by the encroaching darkness. In the gathering gloom, the stars and the moon shone brighter in the sky, hovering above them in perpetual motion.

* * *

It started with her reluctance to leave, even after they’ve arrived by her doorstep. The lights on her neighbor’s house were off, signaling that sleep has swept over the neighborhood. She kept her hand on the door handle, gazing up at him.

There was a wordless understanding between them, a natural force of push and pull – that night, when the breeze was cold and the skies were clear, neither of them can ignore the palpable attraction.

As if letting desire seize him, Ultra Magnus crowded her against the door. Her lips hovered precariously over his, separated by a phantom thread. Her fingers curled against his shoulders, their bodies shrouded by the shadows.

“ Please.” She breathed out – and just like that, something inside of him snapped. He went through the stairs, stopping by the wall to kiss her. The sudden ferocity was enough to make her head spin – even gripped by passion, he was still careful, putting a hand between them to prevent himself from crushing her.

“ Upstairs.” She commanded, and he obediently complied – sweeping her off the ground. Ultra Magnus laid her down across the sheets, the pounding of her heartbeat nearly drowning the sound of his voice calling her.

“ Amanda.”

He breathed her name like a prayer ; desperate, begging. As if she was a deity upon an altar, he stared at her with the desperation of a starving man. 

She nodded in silent permission.

“ I need to hear you say it,” His lips ghosted above hers, two fingers tipping her chin” Say it.”

“ I want you.” She exhaled, ”I want you, I want you, I want -“

He gave her no room to breathe, kissing her, drinking her as if she was wine. Despite this, he was painstakingly careful, gently cradling her like she was made out of glass. Her head spun, heart trembling under the weight of his passion.

He peppered her face with kisses ; her nose, her eyelids, her forehead. She huffed out a laugh, humming at the way his hands combed through her hair. In the process, the straps of her dress had slid down her shoulders, revealing the curve of her collarbones.

He stopped, pulling away only to admire the rise and fall of her chest. His eyes, unnaturally blue, hungrily savored the blush blooming against her skin. Amanda squirmed under the attention. They were so different, so unlike one another. What does he think about her, about how soft, how squishy, how -

A deep rumble reverberated off his chassis. 

He pulled her close, firm hands guiding her thighs and waist onto his lap. “ Are you sure this is what you want?”

“ I’ve never been more sure,” She swooped down to give him a messy kiss, pressing a palm against the side of his helm,” I trust you.”

At that, he pushed off the fabric in one swift movement. She shimmied out of it, discarding both the garment and her bra aside. Cold hands slide above her torso, resting below the underside of her breasts. The cool air coaxed goosebumps out of her, making the warmth radiating off him even more alluring.

He regarded her for a moment, thumbs stroking the sensitive skin experimentally. 

She squeaked,” A-ah.”

He raised an eyebrow, using one hand to cover a breast and squeeze. She let out a mewl, squirming against his lap. He worked his mouth on her mounds, licking, sucking- causing her to grind on his thighs.

Wanting to return the feeling, she dragged her hands lazily across the seams of his plating - slender fingers cleverly dipping inside the ridges of his armor. They tweaked, rubbed, and traced – he shivered, grunting against her cleavage.

The look on his face could only be described as pure adoration, fingers sliding down her frame to hook around her panties. Slowly, intimately, he pulled it off - eyes never leaving hers. She helped him get rid of it, and Amanda was acutely aware that she was laid bare to the Mech.

He was staring again, savoring her, drunk on the way the moon was bathing the soft and pliant muscles of her thighs, her chest, her neck.

He kissed her, firmer this time. As if he was fighting to restrain himself.

Metal digits dragged themselves down her thighs, slowly, teasingly - easing a whimper from her. He spread her legs open and she revealed her core to his expectant gaze without being asked.

She felt exquisitely vulnerable.

Ultra Magnus worked her open with his fingers, sliding a digit and forcing a gasp out of her. The width of the commander’s finger was nothing like her own; it stretched her far wider, a steady invasion into her body that she couldn’t help but welcome, arching her back and letting her head fall back with a breathless moan. “Magnus,” she gasped, “ Ultra Magnus—”

She groaned into her hand, only to have him move it away.

“ Don’t,” He warned, voice dangerously low.” I want to hear you.”

She nodded mutely, wondering how he could keep his voice level when she was whimpering beneath him. His touch _burned_ against her body – despite this he was so very careful, so very gentle. It drove her _mad_.

“ You once asked me what I dream about.“ he curled his finger and Amanda screamed into the dark. “ I dream about you- I dream of working you open, just like this.” 

Amanda was writhing by the time the second finger was inside, spreading her. Partway through third, she started to beg. At four, she went silent and could only pant and shiver. She wiggled to chase the loss of friction when he retracted his hands, her walls painfully clenching on nothing.

“ Patience,” He warned,” I need to prepare you.”

Amanda let out a long whine, head lolling to the side as he bit into the junction of her shoulders. Hard enough to leave marks. If she didn’t know any better, he seemed to be appreciative of the blooming hickeys, peppering more down her chest.

She knows he’s really worked up when he begins letting out little moans into the crook of her neck. They leave his lips without intention; gifting Amanda with a sense of pride. Only now, shrouded by the night was Ultra Magnus completely beside himself, no longer able to filter his emotions and maintain his collected demeanor.

She grinds herself down onto his fingers, sloppily kissing the side of his helm. “Please,” She begged and with that he dropped his self-awareness and stops trying to be proper and put together, raw emotions bubbling to the surface. He retreats his fingers - only to shove them back in one swift motion. 

A sweet sigh escaped her lips.

“ Primus.”

He was everywhere at once—one hand caressing the curve of her ass, lips devouring the soft skin of her neck, the other hand easily cupping her entire breast, massaging it in his palm while nimble fingertips pull her nipple into a peak.

"Beautiful," he growled, hot and low, pulling at her bottom lip with his dentae. There was a click, and his panels hissed open. Ultra Magnus let out a quiet moan, finally relieved of the strain. 

Amanda propped herself up on her forearms and watched, entranced, as Ultra Magnus wrapped a servo around his spike, giving it a slow pump before he shifted forward. She didn’t hold back her surprise at the bio-lights pulsing along his length, gaping at the sheer _size_ of it.

The hot, blunt head pressed against her entrance. There was a terrifying moment when Amanda thought _it wouldn’t fit,_ and _that she might not get to have this –_

All of a sudden, he lifted her, propping her to sit atop of him. Hands flew across his shoulders as he raised her, effortlessly, above the tip of his spike. Her cunt agonizingly empty and dripping, eager to be filled. Amanda whimpered, hips rolling. Her core felt too empty and she felt too hot and she wanted, wanted, wanted –

He let the tip push against the wet folds, just shy of entering and looked at her in the eyes. “Ready?”

“ Yes,” She whispered firmly, “ I’m ready.”

He anchored her gaze, pulling her up, closer, before sinking her onto his spike, her already wet heat smoothing the way. Amanda keened a high, frantic sob, hips arching as the tip of his rod sunk into her slowly, steadily. She would have buckled without the firm grip the Autobot kept on her hips.

She kept panting and moaning and trying to rock her hips to impale herself further on his spike.

“Easy,” Ultra Magnus muttered, keeping his hold firm as he continued pushing slowly. She let out a long whine, gripping his shoulders until her knuckles turn white.

Amanda tipped her head back as she swallowed him inch by inch, biting back a soft cry at the stretch. It tailed off into a desperate moan as Ultra Magnus stopped—“Don’t stop! _More!_ ”

“ I don’t want to hurt you,” He breathed out. Amanda pressed her forehead against his, letting out a breathless chuckle. “ You can never hurt me, Ultra Magnus. I want to take you, all of you.”

He groaned, feeling her walls squeezing him. Ultra Magnus was _massive_ ; long and thick, pulsing heat across her abdomen. The slick noise of their lovemaking echoed throughout the room, her thighs sliding against his waist. The pain melted into pure pleasure as he pushed her to the hilt, fitting himself all the way inside her. It's the anticipation of being together in a way that's more than words, in a way that's so completely tangible – she fluttered her eyes shut in ecstasy.

The tip of his spike brushed just again the _right_ spot and she cried out, jerking violently while her walls _squeezed_ the hard length inside her. Ultra Magnus hissed before kissing her forehead, nuzzling her neck, “Just like that, good girl.”

She grunted at the praise, not bothering to ask _where he even learned that_. Amanda was too lost to care, soaking in the feel of being full, but it still wasn’t enough. He was holding back, careful to not push in too deep.

“ Ah !” She keened, her expression an almost blind, lip-parted expression of want. “Please, please, please -“

“ Tell me what you need.” 

“ Don’t hold back,” She placed a hand across his cheek,” I-I can take you, _harder_.”

Her cheeks burned brighter at the request, body sizing up as he stopped. At first, she thought she’d been too needy, spoiling the mood when he lifted her to pull out. Only to have him push back in one smooth, earth-shattering stroke.

The taut rope coiling inside her snapped violently, and the world seemed to go white as she came with his name on her lips.

Amanda was still arched up, impaled on his spike, body quivering with aftershocks.

That was enough to break any remaining restraint he had on his self-control. Throwing himself into the throes of passion, Ultra Magnus pistoned his hips hard and fast into her, pressing her down against the mattress while his other hand cradled her wrists against the headboard. Amanda quivered at the show of strength, shamelessly drinking in the way he towered over her.

Ultra Magnus was a big Mech, bigger than most, even with his mass displaced he still covered her entire frame with his. She should be intimidated, afraid – yet she only moaned at the protective way he was caging her.

He pushed further in, inexorably, fully and Amanda moaned, _what a gorgeous, open feeling,_ and she couldn’t help crying out with each push forward, “Ah! Ah! Ah!” She finds herself chanting it, encouraging him on. With the new pace, her arousal spiraled until she was teetering on the edge. “ I’m c-close.”

She had never felt like this, never. There was a ridge, or perhaps a set of ridges toward the base of his spike, hitting just the right spot along the walls of her cunt.

Ultra Magnus frowned in concentration as he pulled out, reaching to catch her lips, before ramming inside.

“ Overload for me.”

And just like that, Amanda came for the second time.

Distantly, she could hear herself shout Ultra Magnus’s name, but all her senses were focused on her heat. So impossibly tight, so impossibly wet, and aching so deeply, so perfectly. He continued to fuck her on his girth, even as Amanda grabbed and wailed beneath him. They were flushed chest to chest, the vibrations from his cooling fans dancing across her skin.

She leaned forward, sinking her teeth down the cables on his neck- with a strangled cry he reached his breaking point, warmly charged transfluid spilling inside of her.

She was panting, heart hammering against her ribcages as she nimbly clings onto him. Large hands hugged her, tipping her chin delicately. “ Are you hurt?”

She shook her head, yet he checked her body anyways, trailing his thumbs over her hickeys. Outside, the sky was almost midnight blue, the moon a milky crescent. Their breaths rise in visible puffs, and Amanda felt completely shielded from the cold of the night, curling against him. He pulled out, and she whined at the loss of contact. Once she calmed down, he swept away the strands against her temple – “Do you want more?”

His voice, coarse and steady, was enough to send a shiver down her spine – and she nodded, letting him move atop her once more.

* * *

He was standing at the foot of her bed, just behind a quivering, down on all four Amanda, who had raised her ass just at the right height for Ultra Magnus slide into her – “ Ah!” Currently busy hiding her face in her arms, Amanda let out a long whine. “ You’re-you’re _teasing_.”

“ Am I?” He hummed, letting his hands roam across her body. He planted a kiss above her nape, trailing down the column of her spine. “ Y-yes…Magnus, _please_.” He groaned, giving in to her pleas, moving in and out of her. With one hand on her waist and the other across her thighs, he spread her apart.

Amanda could feel him watching her, observing her. With one firm push she came undone for the – _fuck_ , Amanda had lost count. It could’ve been the fourth, the fifth time, whatever it was, Amanda clenched down around him, riding the aftershocks.

He followed not long after, groaning behind her and pulling away. She whined at the loss, reaching out to welcome him in her arms. Amanda was trying to steady her breathing, feeling as if she’d just run a mile. It took her a while to realize that he was rubbing circles around her back, looking at her. “ Have I hurt you?”

She shook her head.

“ Are you sure?”

She nodded.

She wanted to say something – anything, but all that came out was heavy breathing. Her mind felt fuzzy. Amanda was concerned she was going to melt like butter on a pan, from the way her limbs pressed themsleves against the mattress. At this she could feel Ultra Magnus peel himself away – she made a move to complain, yet he came back with the tissues from her dressing table.

He asked for silent permission.

Once she gave it, he peeled the sheets to reveal her legs – slick and coated with fluids. In the dark, the transfluid dripping down her thighs glowed _blue_. She would be concerned if it wasn’t for how calm he looked. If anything, he seemed to admire the mess, the faint light illuminating the intensity in his optics.

He was gentle – he always is, wiping up her legs, pausing to kiss her knee. She giggled at that, feeling his fingers stroke the surface, the metal warm and comforting. Once he was done, she pointed to the trashcan by the door, and with that, she patted on the space next to her. “ Stay here.”

The bed creaked under his weight, and he slotted himself next to her, letting his hands curl around her waist. Her eyes were about to close when she heard a faint beep, and Ultra Magnus raised a finger to the side of his helm. “ Ultra Magnus. Reporting.”

She rested her head atop the Autobot chassis, stroking his arm. “ I understand. I will be there in a few clicks.”

“ Decepticons?” Amanda whispered.

“ No. Routine patrol.”

At this, she nodded, half-heartedly pulling her hands away. “ Stay safe.”

He regarded her, watching the way her eyes drop. Amanda tried to conceal her disappointment with a weak smile, shoving him. “ Go on then. Duty calls.”

She shut her eyes, listening to the branches rustling outside her window. The bed creaked, but the weight next to her remained. She opened her eyes when Ultra Magnus wrapped his arm around her. He pressed the commlink, “ Smokescreen. Are you currently occupied? I need you to go on patrol with Bulkhead tonight, I will take on your shift tomorrow. Thank you, soldier.”

Amanda furrowed her brows. “ But…I thought – “

“ You want me to stay.” He ex-vented, pulling her close. “ I will do just that.”

“ Did you just – did you just go against a direct order?” She laughed. “ Was that your first time?”

“ You are happy at the implication that I went against a direct order?”

“ No. I’m happy at the implication that you went against a direct order for me.” Amanda pressed her cheek against his chassis, trying to hold back her tears. She bit down her grin. “ Don’t let this be a habit, commander.”

He huffed out a smile, pulling the blanket all the way around her neck. “ It won’t be.”

* * *

She awoke sometime later, with his body pressed against her back. Amanda turned to put both hands across his chest, listening to the faint thrumming of his systems. There was a certain kind of tenderness he carries with him when he sleeps. In recharge, the tension has left his body, peeling the years off him to reveal the Mech behind the soldier. This close, she could admire each seam of his plating – the polished color illuminated by the half-light.

Amanda buried herself under his chin. At this, he shifted. “ Are you alright?”

At the sound of his sleep-induced voice, Amanda grinned. “ I’m fine.”

“ You should get some rest.”

She glanced at the clock by the bedside table. It was nearly four in the morning, and even if Amanda was tired, she can’t find it in herself to fall back to sleep. “Okay.”

He stroked her arm for some time. “ Unless there is something else you wish to do?”

She knew the meaning behind his voice was genuine, yet with only a blanket separating them, it sounded fortuitously teasing. There was no doubt he could go for another round, Amanda was tempted to give in, but she knew better than to tire herself out – he must have thought of the same thing, distancing himself from her.

“ I want a bath.” She hummed. “ It’s cold and a warm bath sounds _really_ nice.”

“ Very well.”

Years of discipline eased him off the bed, giving her a glorious view of his back. He stared at Amanda, who dramatically fanned herself out. “What’s this? My legs, they’re too tired ! I can’t _possibly_ reach the bathroom without collapsing.”

Ultra Magnus gave her a look, before scooping her up, making her squeal as her legs swung in the air. She curled against his chest, swatting him when she heard him mutter – “ Brat” under his breath. She taught him how to turn on the tap, motioning for the handles. Soon, they were laying inside the tub, cocooned by the warm water.

She leaned on his chest, feeling him pressed against the column of her back. The silence that filled the room nearly lulled her back to sleep, the feeling of his chin above her head enough to calm her heartbeat. Amanda lazily traced her finger above the surface, humming to herself.

“ What are you humming?”

“ Hm?”

He kissed her cheek. “ What song are you humming?”

“ It’s a French song. _La Vie En Rose_ , by Edith Plath.” She leaned against his touch." _Voir_ _la vie en rose_ means to be optimistic or see things the right way. The song is about a lover who makes her see _la vie en rose_. Here, Edith is singing about how the man she loves makes her happy with everything he does for her. She says she has a filter when she is with him and she can't be unhappy, that this man is wonderful."

They shared a look, and Amanda tilted her head to kiss him on the lips - softly this time.

“ Sing for me.”

“ I don’t have a very good voice.”

While it’s true that she sometimes plays gigs on the sides, there was a reason why she never pursued music as a career. Amanda only started working on her singing when her father was admitted to the hospital. She would sit by his bed to sing some of his favorite songs, just a few to take his mind off the medication. She wasn’t a good singer, but to him, she was more than enough.

“ I didn’t ask for a good voice. I asked you to sing for me.”

At this she laughed, trying to remember the lyrics.

_Hold me close and hold me fast_

_The magic spell you cast_

_This is la vie en rose_

The mist from the water was starting to rise, shrouding them with a curtain of precipitate. Amanda could feel his hands around her waist, the water sloshing around them when she turned to face him.

_When you kiss me heaven sighs_

_And though I close my eyes_

_I see la vie en rose_

She squished the bottle of shampoo above his hands, telling him to rub them together. They bickered for a while – “ You have to really get in there, yes, like that. You see, bubbles are forming, that's good. No, no, not too much water.” Her laughter echoed off the walls as he grunted in frustration. “ Don’t look at me like that! You’re the one who rubbed it underwater.”

_When you press me to your heart_

_I'm in a world apart_

_A world where roses bloom_

She guided his hands above her head, urging him to let his fingers massage her scalp. He followed her instructions – “ You have to scrub it, down to the roots. It’s okay, you won’t hurt me as long as you’re gentle. Yeah, see? Not so hard.” She flicked some water against his face, watching the concentration written across it crumble. Amanda doubled over, pointing at the bubbles forming against the crown of his head. – “ Amanda, stay still.”

_And when you speak_

_Angels sing from above_

He looked at her warily. Yet, the actress assured him all was well. She used her fingers to count down, and slowly, carefully, he dunked her underwater. She emerged with a messy splash, making him scowl. He parted her hair, sweeping it behind her. “ I don’t see how this is productive.” He grumbled, squeezing the last drops of water from her hair. - “ It’s not productive. It’s fun.”

_Everyday words seem_

_To turn into a love song_

Amanda squealed, trying to pry herself away from him. Yet, his grip was steady, and he wrapped the towel around her body. She was laughing against him, swaddled inside the fabric – “ Ultra Magnus I can’t move !” He slid his arms under her, carrying her back to the room. Amanda’s cheeks were starting to hurt from all the smiling.

 _It doesn’t matter_ , she thought, watching him laugh with her. _It doesn’t matter when we can stay like this_.

_Give your heart and soul to me_

_And life will always be la vie en rose_

The light from the bathroom was starting to leak out of the small crack by the door, inching closer to the figures by the bed. Against the serene silence, her voice rolled down in merciful waves. She smoothed her fingers down his shoulders, watching his optics offline. Once she finished the last lines, she let her eyes flutter close.

In the dark, she could hear her breathing.

And if she listens closely, she could hear it try to match the thrumming of his spark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that's to celebrate the change of rating in this story. One of the reasons it took me so long to publish this chapter was because this is my first time writing smut, and I hope, I really hope I didn't butcher it. If I did, I'm so sorry. Anyways, I hope you guys like this chapter !  
> Remember, I also accept constructive criticism !! ( as long as you put it gently <3)


	19. can I just stay here, spend the rest of my days here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone ! I hope you're all doing well, here's a chapter <3  
> This one made me really emotional because it made me realize just how much I've grown attached to these two ;,)

“ The roses are beautiful this year.”

Amanda watched from her peripheral as her mother knelt by the bushes, cradling the crimson petals in one hand. Madeline raised the scissors, snipping away the stems. A chill was beginning to settle itself around them, warning the pair that winter is coming. The sky above was bleak and pale, mimicking the color of the smoke rising from her mother’s cigarette.

“ Roses. Out of all the flowers, they are the most beautiful, the most elegant – the queen of the garden. Yet, it’s funny how amongst all these flowers, it will always be the first one to die.”

Her mother placed the scissors next to her feet, curling her fingers around a stalk. She was careful to avoid the thorns, raising the blossom to her nose. “ The petals will wither to make way for the thorns, who will unearth water from the deepest parts of the Earth. Only then, will the garden survive. Yet, the garden will not mourn for the roses; it has never given the bees any of its nectar, it has never fed the soil any of its seeds, it has never given the birds any shade. Beauty means nothing if it's fleeting – and in the winter, it’s hard to miss a flower that is no longer beautiful.”

Amanda stayed silent, wanting nothing more than to go back inside. Yet, her mother only pulled the black coat around her tighter, venturing deeper down the row of roses. The fifteen-year-old rubbed her hands together – still dressed in her school uniform, Amanda tried to shield herself from the cold, trotting along.

“ Then again,” The woman sighed, turning sharply to face her. Madeline knelt, using her gloved fingers to tilt Amanda’s cheeks.

She dropped the cigarette onto the pavement, stumping it with the edge of her heels. The woman let out a deep sigh, scouring the area. Shriveled leaves rained from above, swept away by the wind before they could reach the soil. A group of rooks scattered themselves away, diving into the sky.

“ Sometimes, a flower is just a flower and the best thing it can do for us is to die.”

* * *

She laughed against his lips, letting him nuzzle the crook of her neck. “ Be-Be careful this time, Ultra Magnus. I don’t think I can keep wearing turtle necks to cover – “

She gasped, “ To cover your marks.”

He let out a deep rumble, pulling away to look at her. Amanda could hear the birds chirping above them, the flowers murmuring to one another as a gust of wind swept through the field. He has his arm next to her head, supporting himself to he doesn’t crush her with his weight.

The morning after he stayed over, he had left to do his patrol alone, suggesting that she should rest. It was already suspicious enough that she decided to come by noon, even more, when she showed up in a turtle neck. She would have gone for a skirt, but Ultra Magnus was thorough with his work – and her thighs weren't spared from the same fate.

In the beginning, he was apologetic, if not slightly regretful for not having the foresight to stop himself knowing that she’d be going to work tomorrow. Yet, she often finds him staring, no doubt inconspicuously proud of the fact that only he gets to see those marks. – “Don’t get too smug commander.”

Despite this, no one suspected a thing, proving that Ultra Magnus was still in control of his professional appearance. Amanda tried to play it off too, claiming that she’d been neglecting laundry far too long. It would have gone well if it wasn’t for the time when Miko stood too close to her and confidently announced– “ I didn’t know we had mosquitoes this time of the year! ”

It’s safe to say that June hasn’t let her live that one down. – “ There must have been a real big mosquito in your room, huh, Amanda?” She whispered cockily.

Ultra Magnus thumbed the newly formed hickey. “ Affirmative. I’ll make sure to go lower, this time.”

Her chuckle was interrupted when he dove to kiss the cleavage of her shirt, and she let out a sweet sigh, running her hands down his shoulder plates.

It was moments like these that Amanda craved more than anything. When they weren’t busy and rushed by responsibilities, they would go on patrol and indulge an hour or two in each other’s company – in today’s case, it was lunch with a side of making out, which to the actress was more than she could have hoped for.

She finished the last drops of wine, packing the glass into the rattan basket. As she was tidying up, Ultra Magnus reached out to stroke her cheek – feeling the thin scar. Amanda smiled empathically, cupping the hand against her face. “ It’s fine, it doesn’t hurt anymore.”

The scar was barely visible to the naked eye, nothing that can’t be easily sealed away by a touch of makeup. Yet today she had forgone the option, wanting to let her pores clear out – which was a good idea, considering that the air around them was sticky with precipitate. His thumb grazed the phantom line, one that Starscream had given her that night in the Alps.

He peeled his gaze away, letting it roam around the grassland. The untamed garden unfurled itself down the hills, wild flowers raising their petals into the sky. There was a beep in his comms, and the soldier immediately straightened, answering it. “ Ultra Magnus. Reporting.”

As he talked, she began folding the carpet, urging him to stand. A butterfly landed on her shoe, its wings fluttering into the bushes.

“ I must go.”

She nodded. “ Any news on the Predacon?”

“ No. But Ratchet has provided us with a set of coordinates to retrieve more Predacon remains. Optimus has assigned the wreckers to investigate.”

The past few months haven’t been easy – after Megatron’s attack on the Base, Amanda has grown more worried for everyone. Although she was disappointed that Megatron has gotten a hold on most of their relics, it gives her peace to know that he won’t be able to activate most of it.

The whole ordeal was a close call, one she didn’t want to repeat.

“ Be careful.”

He nodded, before exiting the portal, leaving Amanda to watch the sunset with the flowers.

* * *

The silence was deafening, hanging above them like a taught rope waiting to snap. The only thing that kept her grounded was the sound of Ratchet’s tinkering. She gripped the railings. Amanda almost missed the hand Miko placed on her shoulder, and only then did she pull her eyes away from him to thank her silently.

“ I’ve done everything I can,” Ratchet sighed. “Considering the limitation of my equipment and the less than ideal spare parts.”

She could feel Wheeljack staring at her guiltily, but she assured him that there was nothing to apologize for. In front of his team, Ultra Magnus did his best to conceal his worry, not wanting to spoil the mood even further. Amanda did the same, flashing him a smile – even if she could barely hide the trembling of her hands.

That night she found him by one of the training rooms, the lights barely lit as he struggled to control his new appendage. Amanda beckoned him to lift her, and she almost regrets it when he realizes that he could no longer use both hands.

 _It could have been worse_ . She searched his eyes, communicating with the silence. _You could have been killed._

“ Keep your head up, handsome.” She breathed out, reaching out to place her hands on his cheek. “What matters is you’re here.”

She buried her face in his neck, sitting on his shoulder. Amanda didn’t cry – no, she has to be brave, this time for the both of them. Amanda didn’t cry, but she did spend the night in his cab. There, she clung onto his presence like a lifeline – telling herself that he wasn’t going anywhere until sleep overtook her.

For the first time in a very long time, Amanda didn’t dream.

* * *

“ People often think that breaking a mirror will bring you seven years of bad luck. Mirror superstitions probably evolved from the time when humans first saw their reflections in a pool of water, who believed that the image in the water was their actual soul, and to endanger it would mean risking injury to one’s self.”

The mirror was heavy in her palm, the shattered glass scattering her reflection.

“An ancient myth was that mirrors have magical powers, including the power to foresee the future and are thought to be devices of the Gods. Thus, breaking a mirror would terminate its powers, the soul would be astray from the body and misfortunes would be brought upon the one whose reflection it last held.”

As always, Ratchet scoffed at the absurdity. They would fall into a discussion, one that usually includes scientific objections from the medic. With half of the team out on patrol, the atmosphere surrounding the Base was tamer than usual, even with Miko and Bulkhead in the vicinity. When Wheeljack took control of the conversation, he steered Ratchet away from Amanda – leaving her to listen to the conversation between the Wrecker and his charge.

“ Wait – Bulk, exactly how old are you? I mean I had a number in mind, but a thousand years ago ?” Miko shook her head. “ You’re _prehistoric_! And I thought Ratchet was old.”

Ratchet shot her a warning look. “ Cybertronians age differently than humans, Miko. In comparison to humans, most Cybertronians are incredibly long-lived, and even the youngest of us could be older than any living thing on planet Earth.”

“ Our lives must seem so…finite compared to yours,” June added softly. There was something in her tone than sounded unintentionally sad, and Ratchet can’t help but regard her quietly. Miko was quick to shift the mood – going back to tease her guardian. As they left the base, Amanda pretended not to worry about the subject, but if there's one thing she'd learned is that she can’t run away from her thoughts anymore.

The life she has with Ultra Magnus seemed too good to be true. No different from a scene in a movie, it seemed scripted, fabricated. Amanda sometimes finds herself reluctant to close her eyes at night, afraid that this was all a figment of her imagination, that she'd wake up alone in her one-room apartment to the New York traffic.

Here, in the dark of the Base, with only the light from her table and the faint whirring of the machines, Amanda finds herself wondering; how much time does she have left before she wakes up?

* * *

“Something is bothering you.”

His question sounded more like a statement, and Amanda flicked her eyes up to him. The clock by the bedside table blinked one in the morning. They were shrouded by the stillness of the twilight, and the branches by her window loomed silently, accompanied by the drizzle.

She huffed. “Have I become that transparent? I guess I’m not cut out for acting anymore.”

He pulled the blankets tighter around her, pulling her closer. “You should not hide things. You know I’m more than willing to listen to you.”

“I know.” She whispered. “I know you are.”

She curled her hands against his chassis. Laying with him was not exactly ideal, in layman’s terms, it was like hugging a table. There was no denying that his sharp edges could easily cause discomfort or pain against her softer and squishier body. In the night, she would usually untangle herself from him, moving to put some space between them.

Yet, tonight, she only buried herself deeper under his chin.

“You must think I’m selfish.”

Ultra Magnus craned his neck downwards. “Why would I think that?”

“You must think I’m selfish, for – for asking you to stay when I can't do the same. I don’t know how long we can stay like this. I want it to last, I want to stay like this forever. Yet, forever to me is barely a lifetime to you.” She shook her head, trying to fight off a sob.

“ I will age, I will grow wrinkles and start to forget things. You will see me change. One day you will wake up and I won’t be there. Will – will you still love me then? Do I have the right to ask you to suffer with me?”

Her voice cracked and she chose that moment to stop, not wanting to cry.

She avoided his eyes.

There was a moment until the arms around her tightened.

“ I’m sorry for ruining the mood. I shouldn’t have asked – “

“ I’ve made my choice.”

She could feel his chin atop her head. From here, she could see the flowers resting by the window sill. Around the vase was a cluster of petals, having fallen from its wilting bud. The moon was full, a watchful eye over the Earth.

While he didn't answer her question, she knew better than to press on. His tone was final, and that urged her to sleep.

In the morning he was already gone, no doubt on patrol. She has to remind herself that they’ll meet again, spending a few minutes to watch the sunrise on the horizon.

* * *

Amanda made a funny face, waving at the baby. The toddler clapped her hands together, grinning at the actress from the car window. The traffic spanned for a few minutes, allowing Amanda to play a game of peek-a-boo with her. When the light turned green, the car made a different turn, causing the actress to lean against the chair with a happy sigh.

When Ultra Magnus notice that she was still smiling even after they’ve nearly reached the base, he was careful to ask her.

“ You are fond of sparklings?”

Amanda paused, mulling over the question. “ I guess I am.”

There was an unspoken question hanging in the air. She could feel his hesitance, and once it became too much to bear, she decided to break the silence. “ As much as I like children, I could never imagine myself having one.”

The rearview mirror tilted her way. “Do you not want to become a carrier?”

Her hands landed across her belly. She stared at the road ahead, watching the cream-colored canyons melt against the sand. Amanda could’ve sworn she saw a tumbleweed roll by, latching itself on one of the cacti. She wasn’t dense, almost immediately Amanda understood the true meaning behind his question. There was a certain emotion in his question - a mixture of guilt, sadness, and sorry leaking through the cracks of his armor.

_“ Does this mean that our species are compatible when it comes to sex ?”_

The tires grind themselves across the gravel, the windows faintly trembling.

_“ Obviously not when it comes to reproduction.”_

She placed a comforting hand above the dashboard.

“ I don’t think I’d make a good mother.”

She played with the necklace resting on her chest, thumbing the rose emblem. It was a family heirloom, one she didn’t have the heart to discard, even if it was from her mother. The seatbelt around her tightened.

“ Why do you say that?”

Amanda sighed.

“ Because I never had one.”

* * *

“ I’m sorry.”

In the dark, she couldn’t see his expression. Tonight, the moonshine was blocked out by the cluster of clouds, plunging the city with darkness. The streetlamps outside flickered under the rain, the heavy downpour nearly drowning the sound of his voice. He had his head against her chest, her fingers lazily stroking his helm.

Ultra Magnus didn’t need to specify what he was sorry for. They both knew what those two words meant. It was an apology for the opportunities she’d have to trade, the life she could have had, the choices she’d have to make.

In the dark, she pulled him closer. The raindrops knocked on her window, bouncing off the glass and onto the patio.

 _It doesn’t matter_ , her fingers whispered _, I would have stayed the same without you_ .

 _I would have not been happy_ , her kisses murmured, _I would have been alone_.

In the dark, Amanda mustered one of her biggest smiles, pressing herself closer to him.

“Don’t be.”

* * *

Everyone hates goodbyes, Amanda was no exception. It’s the one thing that never really sits the right way with her, always a little too heavy on her heart. She knew this wasn’t the end, at least, not yet.

 _But it hurts just the same_ , Amanda thought.

They should be celebrating their victory – yet there was no time for parties, for proper farewells, not when Cybertron awaits.

After centuries of fighting, of bloodshed, of fear – the war was over. When he returned, Ultra Magnus had whisked Amanda away from prying eyes to kiss her. “ It’s over.” He breathed out, surprise his voice, “The war is over.”

Granted, there were several Decepticons out there waiting for the right time to strike, but for the first time, Ultra Magnus was able to smile at her without the weight of his armor.

In the distance the children were saying goodbye to their guardians, sharing a silence they’re all unwilling to let go. Amanda approached the edge of the walkway, gently leaning across the railings.

“ Hey commander,” Amanda tilted her head, searching for his gaze, “ We know this isn’t goodbye.”

Ultra Magnus ex-vented, straightening himself. They were far enough from the crowd, having found their own private corner. He knelt to her eye level, simply staring at her.

“ Why are you looking at me like that?” She laughed.

He used a finger to pat her head, “ I want to remember this. I want to remember you standing here.”

“ Don’t say things like that – you’re making it sound like we’re saying goodbye.”

His eyes drop, and he spared the Ground Bridge a reluctant glance. As if he was upset with having to choose, he settled for cradling her in his palm, unable to form the right words. But Amanda didn’t need words. _This_ , she mused, tracing his claw, _this was more than enough_.

“ We will see each other again. For now, Cybertron needs you. Although the war is over, the fighting continues. You said you wanted to rebuild Cybertron, didn’t you ?” She kissed his thumb, unclipping her necklace. The gold gleamed under the light, and she placed it in his hand. “ Keep this. So you won’t forget me.”

He brought her to his face to kiss her, his mouth nearly engulfing her face – making her laugh.

“ I can never forget you.”

At this Amanda wiped the corner of her eyes with her fingers, struggling to hold back her tears. “You’re _so_ corny. Go! Go before you make this harder for both of us.” At her playful tone, Ultra Magnus gave her a smile.

All of a sudden, her mind took her to the night they first met. She could still remember the look on his face when she fell out of her chair, their fight in the Louvre, their first argument, their first recon, their first kiss.

Once again, she envisions herself sitting by the empty theater. The rows of seats were completely devoid of life. Yet, Amanda wasn’t scared. Instead, she was smiling, watching the scene unfold.

She could see his expression by the half-light of the television screen, she could hear the sound of the waves lapping by the shore, she could hear the leaves rustling above the empty altar, she could feel the winter snow against her skin. In the dark, he was kissing her everywhere - on her lips, down her neck.

In the beginning, Amanda had created a chart in her head where Ultra Magnus was the last Cybetronian to fall in love with a human – who knew she’d be proven wrong in the best way. At the memory she laughed, trying to comfort herself.

When he walked to the Ground Bridge, Amanda took a step forward – as if to follow him. Yet, she grounded herself just in time. He spared her one last glance. At that moment, Ultra Magnus looked like he was ready to go against his duty, as if he was willing to run back to her.

Yet they both knew better.

Amanda gave one last smile, and with that, Ultra Magnus pulled his optics away – disappearing behind the blue portal.

Only when it closes, did Amanda collapse by the couch, trying her best to stop the flow of tears.

* * *

" He will come back."

Outside, the stars burned with the brilliant sapphire pallor of electric lights, crowding the vast expanse. The glitter of lights stood out like pebbles in front of a storm, the sight enough to clear her mind. June offered her cardigan.

Despite the cold, Amanda shook her head, craning her neck to sky.

Amanda tries to imagine Cybertron. She imagines the cluster of high rise buildings, the towers carved from Meteorite. She imagines a city unapologetically urban, filled with life and light. She imagines him back in Iacon, smiling at the vision in his dreams.

He could be lightyears away from her, somewhere deep within the vast ocean of heavenly bodies. She wonders if he's looking at sky too, wondering where she was. Amanda raised a hand, fingers reaching out into the firmament.

A gentle breeze peeled back the tall grass surrounding her, kissing her cheeks.

" He will." She whispered, letting herself smile.

Two possibilities exist; either we are alone in this universe or we are not - and it gives her comfort to know, that she is not alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my, our story is almost coming to an end, and I'm almost done writing the last chapter. Although I'm proud of getting this far, I'm also sad that we have to say goodbye soon to Amanda and Ultra Magnus ! I'll save the rest of this message for the last chapter <3 :,) I hope you enjoyed this one !  
> Also, I have an instagram for this AO3 so we can keep in touch ! You may also submit requests there and we can talk it out cause I'm more active there, it's @/primergonn , everyone is welcomed !  
> P.S - the song i listened to while writing this was Hans Zimmer's STAY from Interstellar


	20. a history of you and me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone ! This is the last chapter  
> Also, thank you for 100 kudos ! When I saw this my jaw dropped ( literally )  
> I'll save my message in the end notes :)

The hallway was empty, the lights above him making it almost impossible to tell whether it was day or night. Sideswipe checked his chronometer, confirming that it was a few clicks until dusk. After some walking, he passed by a window – watching the sunset in the distance, the twin moons hovering above the hemisphere barely visible through the clouds.

“ Sideswipe !”

The red Mech hold back a sigh, and he was right to do so – because Strongarm wasn’t alone. Behind him, she walked with Bumblebee, and the young cadet immediately straightened at the sight of the officer.

“ B-umblebee !” He stammered, clearing his throat. “ Uh, are you here to see Ultra Magnus too?”

He’s met the black and yellow Mech several times. He would have called him sir if it wasn’t for the fact that he insisted against it. Bumblebee greeted him with a smile, glancing at the sunset. _It must feel different for him_ , Sideswipe thought, _being on Cybertron_. When Sideswipe got the message that they can finally return home, he thought he had been dreaming – but after a pinch to make sure he wasn’t in recharge, it took him several clicks to punch in the coordinates and head for their planet.

To Sideswipe, that felt like eons ago, a memory from another lifetime. But what does it feel like for Bumblebee, for Ultra Magnus? Who live every day in constant reminder of life before the war?

“ Yes. I think he wants to put us together on an expedition.”

Sideswipe's eyes widened. “ Really?”

Strongarm gave him a disapproving look. “ Yes. Didn’t you read the file he sent you two clicks ago?”

Sideswipe rolled his eyes at her. “ I’ve been busy, okay? Where are we going ?”

At this Bumblebee’s footsteps slowed, and he stopped by the end of the window – his expression pensive as he watched the buildings glow under the fading sun rays. “ Earth.”

“Oh.” Sideswipe looked at Strongarm, who shared the same hesitant expression.

Earth.

He’d heard the stories. These days it was hard to tell which version is real and which version is fake, as it was passed down from one mouth to another, and the story changes as it goes – but one fact remains. They left something on the little blue planet. Team Prime made friends there, family, they called it. Bumblebee almost never talks about it, the same goes with the rest of them. Sideswipe might be young, but he wasn’t stupid – there are things in war we rather not talk about.

They continued only when Bumblebee started walking, and the three fell into conversation once more, discussing the mission they’ve been assigned to.

“ We better hurry.” Bumblebee frowned, as if he had just remembered something. “ I think Ultra Magnus will be going soon.”

“ Wait,” Sideswipe checked his chronometer, “ It’s barely time for us to go home. And the last time I checked, the commander isn’t one to clock out early.”

“ I’m sure the commander has his reasons.” Strongarm defended. “ Right?”

Bumblebee nodded. “ Today he’s going to celebrate the anniversary of his conjunx.”

This time, it was the two cadets who stopped walking.

“ Ultra Magnus – he’s bonded?”

Sideswipe ignored the look Strongarm gave him, his jaw slacking at the idea. Yet Strongarm, no matter how much she tried, couldn’t mask her own surprise either, and the two of them were left staring at Bumblebee for an explanation.

“ He was.”

" I'm sorry to hear that," Strongarm added, bowing her head.

Sideswipe blinked. “ That’s – I never, but he never mentions it.”

“ That’s because it’s private.” Strongarm cut in.

“ I get that – but, if people know then why didn’t anyone say anything?” Sideswipe laughed awkwardly. “ I mean shouldn’t it be a nest for gossip by now ?”

The idea of Conjunx was a personal one, but it wasn’t rare to hear Mechs or Femmes openly bringing up their Conjunx, and it shocked him, even more, to hear that Ultra Magnus didn’t bother hiding it – considering that Bumblebee spoke about it as if it was common knowledge.

They were a few steps away from the commander’s door. Bumblebee’s fingers twitched, before closing.

“ She…she was human.”

Sideswipe wanted to laugh and pat Bumblebee on the back for that joke, but if anything, Bumblebee seemed…sad. There was a certain kind of look in his face, and Sideswipe had to look away, settling for the window once more. He could see the people walking below, talking with one another.

Human.

“ As you know, humans once helped us during our time in the war. We wouldn’t be standing here today without them.” Bumblebee explained, his voice heavy as he ex-vented. “ But following Optimus’s sacrifice, Ultra Magnus was appointed leader…and a lot saw it unfit that – that someone who bonded himself to an organic would lead them. In order to avoid more conflict, it’s not something we openly discuss. And Strongarm is right, it’s private.”

“ But…” The Femme whispered. She hesitated, not wanting to breach formality – but Bumblebee urged her to continue. “ I heard, he…nearly stepped down because they refuse to commemorate her in the Iacon archives.”

“ That’s true. Without her, we would have never uncovered the secrets of our pasts. During our time on Earth, we discovered that our histories were intertwined. We are two sides of the same coin, whose paths have intersected for eons. Yet, many still refuse to coexist with humans – seeing them as inferior or less.” Bumblebee pressed the button by the door. “ Believe me, they’re anything but that.”

The door parted and Sideswipe could hear Ultra Magnus’s “ Come in.”

The commander was sitting by his desk, going over several datapads. While he conversed with Bumblebee, Sideswipe let his mind wander. Humans.

He’d read about them once, little organic creatures native to the planet Earth. The young Mech furrowed his brows.

 _What could they have possibly offered Cybertron_?

* * *

“ It must be difficult for her.”

“ I know. I heard it’s a long-distance relationship.”

“ Poor thing. Is it true, that he’s also an army man? Must make things worse.”

Amanda ignored their whispers, pretending like she didn’t hear them. Under the blinding lights of the vanity table, she carefully applied her eyeliner. Eventually, the two women stopped when one of them had to leave. She didn’t miss the look of pity in her eyes when she flashed Amanda a smile, before disappearing down to the flight of stairs.

People rushed past her, some stopping to cheer her on for the audition. One of the crew members pointed to the door, walking her through the steps. Her agent was pacing, glancing at the clock, and occasionally asking her about things that made her more nervous than prepared.

The actress went over the script one last time – and that’s when her phone buzzed.

She skimmed over the message.

There was a clatter.

She picked up the device, shoving it into her bag.

“ Wait ! Where do you think you’re going?” Her agent grabbed her by the shoulders, looking at her like a madwoman when she rushed for the exit. “You’re going to go in any minute now.”

“ Please, Gio – I have to go.”

“ No, you can’t !” He shook his head. “ If you go, you’ll lose this role! You’ve been practicing for this for _months_ now. This is your chance. This movie is going to give you what you want – I’ve read the screenplay, _Jesus_ , you’ve read it too. It’s winning an _Oscar_ , I’m telling you. An _Emmy_. Two _Emmys_.”

“ I know. I know Gio but my boyfriend.” She grinned. “ He’s home and he can’t stay for long and this is my chance to meet him. Please, we barely get to spend time with one another.”

“ I understand – he’s an army guy. It’s complicated.”

Amanda nodded. “ It _is_.”

“ But you can’t just walk out! Meryl fuckin Streep is in it. _Streep_. Don’t you want this role ?” Under all that confusion and shock, Amanda could see his disbelief. She couldn’t blame him – anyone would think she’s crazy for passing this up. But the actress circled him, squeezing through the door.

“ I want this role. But not as much as I want to see my boyfriend.”

She jogged to the sidewalk, making her way into the bustling noise, waiting by the foot of the zebra-cross.

Behind her, Gio threw his clipboard onto the floor, the papers scattering into the wind – caught between a flock of pigeons that circled the high-rise buildings.

* * *

“ Say, why did the Commander take us here?”

Wheeljack lifted his head from the scanner, following Springer’s gaze. In the distance, Ultra Magnus was walking through a vineyard, careful to avoid stepping on the bushes. The rest of the wreckers, except Smokescreen, stayed behind – unsure of what to do.

“ This is where we’ll set up camp.” He checked the coordinates, cross-referencing them. “ The reserve is not far from here.”

Springer narrowed his eyes at a flock of Rooks, watching as they noisily landed on the bark of a tree. The sun was starting to fall, the yellow lights fading to welcome the night.

“ Cheer up. It’s not every day we get to go on off-world missions to secure Energon. Might as well enjoy it.”

Ironfist scoffed next to them, staring ahead. “ Who would have thought that the Wreckers would be sent for recon duty? This is not what we usually do. We should be doing what we do best, catching and punching ‘Cons.” He shook his head. “What have we become ?”

A life signal in Wheeljack’s sensor’s beeped, alerting the three that someone was approaching. Wheeljack kept his eyes on his scanners, smiling at the red dot closing in. The two readied their canons. The rest of the team followed, falling into defensive positions.

“ At ease.” Wheeljack chuckled, looking at the scene before him. “ There are other reasons as to why Ultra Magnus volunteered himself to go here.”

A laugh pierced the air, and the Mechs all gathered to watch as their leader lowered his hammer – letting it fall to the grass. A human woman sprinted down the hills, nearly toppling over as she reached its base. She discarded her shoes, tossing them away as she ran to Ultra Magnus. The blue Mech displaced his mass, going over to embrace her, swinging her around.

Behind them, the sun was setting against the horizon, painting rich hues of red, orange, purple, and crimson against the clouds. The Wreckers were unable to move, grounded at the sight of their commander smiling. He pressed his forehead against hers, letting her legs wrap around his waist.

They stayed that way for a moment, and by the time Wheeljack raised his head onto the sky – it was already dark, the moon nearly visible behind the thin sheet of clouds.

* * *

Amanda could hear the voices coming from the television, echoing past the crack by the door of her bathroom. Ripples were formed by the water dripping off the tap, and she stared at it, lazily running her hands along his chassis.

“ Are you falling asleep?”

She glanced at Ultra Magnus, grinning when she could see his half-lidden optics. The steam has long evaporated, and soon the lukewarm water will turn cold – yet, Amanda can’t find it in herself to move, so she buried herself deeper, the water sloshing around her.

“ No. Not yet.” Her chin was pressed against his shoulder, tucked under the column of his neck. “ Can we stay like this for a little longer?”

The arms around her tightened. “ We can.”

To say that she missed this was an understatement, granted this wasn’t his first visit, but a day without him could feel like weeks, and so she’s come to learn to cherish them. It was hard to believe that it’s almost three years since the war ended, and from what Ultra Magnus told her, time is slowly breathing life back into Cybertron – and nothing could compare to the look of pride in his face as he tells her this.

Amanda tuned in to the faint dialogue, noticing that the channel was playing the latest episode of _Jeopardy_. – “ _True or false? A scalene triangle has two sides of equal length_.” Amanda tried to follow along, lost in her thoughts when he interrupted.

“ Are you happy ?”

She chuckled. “ You know I am.”

The precipitate was starting to drip down her temples, and she reached to fix her falling bun. Yet, when her fingers aimed for the hairband, Ultra Magnus’s hand was already there. He let her hair down, and when she went to protest, he only swiped the strands away – revealing her smile.

His thumb lingered by the side of her cheek, and she leaned to his touch, sighing happily.

After her aunts decided that they were growing too old to run the winery, they gave it to Amanda – who have decided to turn it into a holiday home. With the caretakers on paid leave and no one around to company her, the lush fields and open area made it ideal for the Autobots to set up their base to maintain off-world communication.

Amanda was disappointed to hear that he could only stay for a week, but she supposed that was enough – considering that the last time he visited was months ago.

She could hear the wind blowing through the countryside, the vine leaves crawling up the walls rustling with the breeze. Outside, the moon was high, framed between two mountains.

Amanda placed her hands on either side of his face, gazing into his optics.

“ Join me in Conjunx Endurae.” He whispered. “ Marry me.”

Her hands fell to her sides.

“ I can’t.” She shook her head. “ Ultra Magnus, I love you, but that’s exactly why I cant.”

“ Why not ?”

“ Because-because you said it yourself,” She straightened, sitting by the opposite end. “ Cybertronians bond for life. My life is finite. It’s small and short compared to yours, what will happen when I’m gone? You’ll spend the rest of your days alone.”

Amanda could feel the tears threatening to fall. She knew this discussion was long overdue – it was the one thing that had scared her the most. But in the end, she can’t keep running away from her fears forever. It will always catch up to her, and now, she had to look away – unable to bring herself to look at his face.

They both knew this. Ignoring it wasn’t going to make it disappear.

Yet, a part of her wished it did. Amanda buried her face in her hands, a sob falling past her lips. He wrapped a hand around her wrist, pulling her close.

“ It is better than spending the rest of my days in guilt, knowing that I passed up the opportunity of sharing it with you.”

Even if his voice was coarse, Amanda could tell it was genuine, it was sincere, it was true.

She raised her head.

“ Is this what you really want ?”

“ Did you think I stayed without the plan of someday making you my Conjunx ?” He murmured against her forehead.

“ You would go through all that pain, just so you can – so you can stay with me?” She shook her head. “You love me that much ?”

“ It’s only right to love you as much.” He kissed her on the lips, pulling her closer against his lap. “ You are deserving of it, Amanda. You are worthy of it. As your name dictates.”

The actress was crying, furiously trying to catch the tears spilling down her neck. In between hiccups, she managed to squeeze out her sentence.

“ What if we could do it all again, will you ?” She sobbed. “ Will- will you still choose me, knowing that you’ll have to lose me someday?”

“ I’ll choose you, over,“ he kissed her forehead,“ and over “ her eyelids,“ and over again," and her lips. Amanda threw her head back, letting out a laugh. She nodded, patting her hands across his cheeks.

“Then yes.” She kissed him, “ Yes !” 

He stood up, carrying her with him. Amanda could no longer hear the television, the noise drowned out by the sound of their laughter.

* * *

The door swung open, and light rushed past it, spilling onto the floor. Amanda lugged her bag through the doorway, quickly flicking the lights on. She kicked her shoes off while placing the trophy by the shelf, using one leg to close the door while going for the computer.

The wheeled chair squeaked underneath her, the screen coming to life. Amanda glanced at the clock, smiling to see that she was _just_ on time. The screen buffered to life, and she double-checked the wires underneath the table to make sure they were connected. She mentally thanked Ratchet, for having installed this communication device in her system.

Now, she could hold video conversations with Ultra Magnus all the way from Cybertron. Although the signal can sometimes be weak and unreliable, it was better than weeks – _months_ of silence apart. The screen beeped twice and she beamed.

“ Surprise! I’m not late this time !” She sang, leaning forward.

“ Uh…Amanda?”

She did a double-take. “ Smokescreen?”

The young Mech waved at her.

The actress laughed, “ How have you been?”

“ I’m doing good. Are you looking for Ultra Magnus?”

“ Yes, we plan to call each other at this time.” She leaned back to catch the hands of the clock. “I’m pretty sure I’m on schedule.”

“ I bet you are.” He grinned, before faltering. “ But Ultra Magnus just went in for a meeting in the other room. I was waiting here and saw your name on the screen and thought it wouldn’t hurt to pick up.”

“Oh.” Her heart sank, but she kept her smile steady. “ I’m sure it’s something important, right?”

“ From the sound of it, yeah.” He agreed. “ You know Ultra Magnus, he works harder than any of us. I mean, we all play our part, but hey- he’s in charge now. I can’t remember the last time I saw him out of the office.”

Smokescreen kept her busy for a while, but even his company was short-lived, as he was summoned by Arcee not long after. Once the line disconnected, silence plunged the room once more, and that night, not even the crickets were singing.

In the dark, she waited, fiddling with the ring around her finger. The clock ticked by, the night growing older and older with each passing tick. Time seemed to blur around her, and somewhere in the middle, she had slinked out of the chair and onto the couch – easing her tired limbs against the cushion. Amanda couldn’t bring herself to go upstairs to clean her makeup and change her clothes, instead she told herself she was only going to rest her eyes.

It was only natural for sleep to consume her as soon as her head hit the pillow. The newly polished trophy glinting under the moonshine, her dress fanned against the floor.

Somewhere into the night, the screen blinked, ringing to signal an incoming call. Yet, Amanda was too deep in slumber to notice.

In the dark, the screen danced under the shadows before shutting down, plunging the room with silence once more.

Only then, did the crickets start singing.

* * *

The porcelain was hot against her hands, and Amanda would have sprinted to the coffee table if it wasn’t for the fact that it’s filled to the brim. She set her cup of tea down, following Ultra Magnus’s gaze out the window.

“ Are your men alright?” She craned her neck, watching the warehouse.

“ They are.” He nodded. “ Thank you for letting us stay here.”

She shoved him playfully, sitting on the couch next to him. “ You know you and your team are always welcomed to stay. I’m glad I took the initiative to clean the place every once in a while, we never know when you’ll come and visit.”

They were nearly done with the movie when Ultra Magnus decided to place the files in front of her, a disapproving glare in his eyes. Amanda mentally slapped herself, wincing. He must’ve found it by the door. If she wasn’t in such a hurry to make it to the market before rush hour, she would’ve remembered to hide it upstairs in the other room.

“ Why didn’t you tell me?”

Amanda turned away, keeping her gaze on the carpet. “ I didn’t want you to worry. Look, it’s nothing serious.”

“ That’s not a good reason to hide this from me.” He insisted. “ And it doesn’t seem like nothing serious to me.”

“ You might think that way – but try being in my shoes for once.” She curled her fists, standing up. “ My husband already has an entire planet to worry about. He’s off fighting rogue Decepticons in space while juggling his marriage with me. The last thing I want to do is burden him with more problems to worry about.”

He stared at her, as if she was one of his soldiers and Amanda sighed in irritation. “ If you think that’s going to intimidate me, you’re wrong.”

His face faltered. “ If you had told me, I would have come here sooner.”

“ And I can’t have you doing that.” She whispered. “ I can’t make you choose.”

“ That’s not your decision to make alone. You are my Conjunx. My wife. I know when to put my duty first, but I also know when to choose you.” He reached out to put both her hands in his. “ You taught me that.”

It took her a while before she could look him in the eye, and when she did, she allowed herself to curl against his side. He pulled the cotton blanket around her, listening to the windchimes outside jingle in unison.

“ What else did the doctor say?”

Amanda glanced at the brown file. “Aside from what you’ve read, he said it’s nothing I should worry about too much. I’m going into my mid-thirties soon, and even that’s still pretty young. But, he recommended some changes to my lifestyle to lessen the risk.”

The screen before her showed Audrey Hepburn dancing in a wedding dress, the music filtering through the speaker. This was her favorite scene, and she would usually stand up to sing along to it every time she re-watches _Funny Face_. Yet tonight, she could do nothing but stare ahead, struggling to fight off the worry in her heart.

He pulled her closer and Amanda let out a weak laugh. “ It’s okay. I never knew it was hereditary, but if dad has it then it’s only natural if – if I might have it too. But don’t worry, I’ll eat healthily and do a lot of cardio. The average human lifespan is around seventy, and you bet I’m going to beat it. We've been married for ten years, we can do another ten. And another, and another. We – we still have time. A lot of time.”

He didn’t reply, and she didn’t know if that was better or worse. In front of them, the couple twirled under the trees, the pond gleaming beside them as doves flocked the scene. She could feel her heartbeat lull into a steady rhythm, the cup of tea now cold and forgotten by the tabletop – waiting for the drain.

“ Hey, look at me.”

Ultra Magnus leaned down to meet her eyes. She shot him a grin. “ I’m not going anywhere, okay? We should stick together, remember?”

When he smiled, she reached to kiss him sweetly, using one hand to brace herself against his chest. With one leg on top of his and her body half-pulled against his lap, Amanda pointed to the characters and urged him to sing with her. Although he refused, she continued to sway her head along to the rhythm.

“ Stay?”

He searched her eyes, before resting his forehead against hers. “ Always.”

Amanda laced her fingers in his, and he returned the gesture - their rings resting next to one another.

* * *

“ I always admired Aphrodite. This beautiful, lonely goddess. She was loved by all yet loved by none. I used to see myself in her. Yet, you showed me otherwise. Thank you for making me understand the true meaning of my name. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for staying.

I have to go now , but we’ll see each other again. This time, it’s your turn to look up to the stars and think of me. Know that I’m waiting for you.

In the meantime, go live your life. Remember, you are more than who you can give other people, Ultra Magnus. Remember that you are loved. That I love you.

See you around, commander.”

* * *

“ Sideswipe.”

The Mech flinched in his seat, eyes darting from Bumblebee to Ultra Magnus. “ Y-yes, sir ?”

“ Were you listening?”

He nodded. “ Yes. We will leave for Earth once they finished constructing the spaceport. Until then we are to see, uh, Ambulon. He will review our medical reports before clearing us for duty.”

He could feel Strongarm let out the breath she was holding. Satisfied, Ultra Magnus turned his attention back on Bumblebee. “ I’ll have a datapad sent to your office tomorrow about what you'll need to know for your mission.”

“ Thank you, Ultra Magnus.”

The two of them stood, prompting the younger cadets to follow. Sideswipe furrowed his brows when he caught sight of the tiny ornament by his desk. It was nearly invisible, and he had to squint to make out its outline – it took him a while to realize that it was a human accessory. _What did they call it again?_ He thought, _bracelets? No ! Necklaces._ He corrected himself. _It was a necklace_.

He didn’t have time to see what shape the bead resembled when Ultra Magnus reach out to grab something from under his desk. Bumblebee whistled at this. “ Look at those roses ! Where did you get them smithed, sir ?”

Sideswipe tilted his head – _what in Primus’s name are roses_? He searched his head for answers, and when he couldn’t find one, Strongarm leaned in just in time to rescue him. “They’re Earth flowers,” She whispered. “ I heard they’re beautiful.”

The ‘roses’ Ultra Magnus were holding were anything but organic. It was safe to say, they were a metal replica of the flora. Sideswipe has to agree with Strongarm, they were beautiful. The roses gleamed red under the office light – the golden stalks glowing under the sunset.

“ Thank you.” He nodded. “ If you three will excuse me, I must take my leave.”

“ Are those for your Conjunx?”

Ultra Magnus stared at him.

 _Slag_. Sideswipe didn’t even realize those words came out of his mouth until Strongarm nudged him. Even Bumblebee looked concerned, his door wings falling.

“ Yes.” The commander answered. “ They are.”

“ I – I’ve read about her work, sir. At least, what was publicized.” Strongarm added, trying to ease the tension. “ What she did was admirable.”

“ They should’ve commemorated her,” Sideswipe muttered.

At this Ultra Magnus straightened, before walking over to the young Mech. Up close, he was so tall that Sideswipe had to crane his neck to meet his eyes, and he put his hand on his shoulder. “ Thank you, soldier.”

“ A-are you bringing those to the altar?” Strongarm asked. She seemed surprised by her own sudden rush of boldness, but Ultra Magnus – as cold as people say he was, didn’t take it against her.

“ Yes.” He nodded, going into an explanation to wipe off the look of confusion on Sideswipe’s face. “ When we started rebuilding Cybertron, we’ve managed to restore most of the temples in Iacon. The temple of Solus Prime was one of them.”

He turned the roses in his hands, and Sideswipe caught a metal band wrapped around one of his fingers. _Strange_.

“ I have commissioned a shrine of remembrance for her in the temple, for she was the one who discovered Solus’s voyage on Earth.”

The sun was setting quickly, and he stared at it…longingly? _No.Ultra Magnus doesn’t do that_ , Sideswipe thought. But another look was enough to confirm that the Commander was indeed staring at the twilight in nostalgia.

“ I have to go. You’re all dismissed.” He declared. As if he wanted to catch the sunset in time.

“ Wait !” Sideswipe called out, “ You said she published something. What’s the name of the Datapad ?”

By the door, Ultra Magnus’s face was illuminated by the tangerine beams. There was a sad look in his eyes that Sideswipe wasn’t prepared to see.

“ You can find various copies of her work, and most of them have different titles.”

The commander traced his fingers over one of the petals, his eyes sliding over the necklace by the desk – and Sideswipe noted how younger he looked when he smiled.

“ But I believe she called her collection ‘ A History of You and Me’.”

* * *

_Passent les jours et passent les semaines  
Ni temps passé  
Ni les amours reviennent  
Sous le pont Mirabeau coule la Seine_

_Vienne la nuit sonne l’heure  
Les jours s’en vont je demeur_

_"The days the weeks pass by beyond our ken  
Neither time past  
Nor love comes back again  
Under the Mirabeau Bridge there flows the Seine  
  
Let night come on bells end the day  
The days go by me still I stay"_

\- " _Le Pont Mirabeau_ " by Guillaume Apollinaire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, I know RID is set five years after TFP but I've never watched it so I'm just going to pretend it's ages after TFP ( sorry hahaha )  
> Second, We did it guys ! This story was such a joy to write. Thank you for all your support and encouragement. In the beginning, I didn't think I'd ever finish this story because I felt so demotivated and insecure about my writing. But, after seeing all your lovely comments and kudos, they kept me going and in the end I'm super happy to get to write this with all of you. UM and Amanda will always have a special place in my heart because this is my very first multi-chapter fanfiction. I adore Ultra Magnus, and I hope I did him justice with this story. His character has always fascinated me.  
> Again, I want to say thank you for all your help ! I really appreciate it, it means a lot to me as someone who loves writing and it always make my day. I'll be writing more for this fandom, so I hope to see you guys around <3  
> Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be wiping a few tears in my eyes  
> xoxo !


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